₦airaland Forum

Good morning,
Something has been bothering me and I really need matured minds to advice me.
There's this lady I've been with for long, is over 7 years. I love her beyond words and we've been very close all those years.
She has her own flaws because no one is perfect.
I'm planning to tie the knot with her but there is an aspect of her that is giving me sleepless night. She doesn't like sex.
Before we have sex it will take ages and I must be the one to initiate that after several pleadings.
If she ever consent, she will just tell me to go in and release.
If I stay more than 3 minutes she will be shouting of pain.
Nothing I have never done. Infact before I will ever have sex with her I always give her thorough head for over 15 minutes. When I mean thorough head I mean deep sucking. Even at the point of sucking her she won't even feel anything like women does when they are being sucked. She won't moan or feel like she's enjoying it. That makes me feel that my effort is in vain. After deep sucking she will be wet down but immediately I go in she will still be complaining of pain despite being wet.
This has made me feel so terrible.
At a point I was forced to cheat with two different ladies who made me felt what is real sex. The first lady i met was so romantic and we had the kind of sex I craved. She loved me as well but I didn't love her, just wanted the sex.
I also met another who also gave me what I want in bed. I stopped having something with them because I love my fiancee.

I'm not a sex freak, no I'm not. But at least I want my fiancee to be responsive. I love her so much but she doesn't want to change. She's presently seeing that as her weakness and she's maintaining that if I want to marry her I should get use to her sex life. How can I get use to such life? How can? I go to bed so hard and wake up so hard whereas a woman is around me. Sex means punishment to her.
What will I do? I don't want to disappoint her after such years. I love her but how do I cope?
I'm thinking of taking her to a hospital but what will I tell the doctor?

Sex is the only issue I have with her and to me is a big issue. I see a lot of women due to the nature of my work and even being sex starved always I still respect myself.
I need a matured advice. Thanks

For me oh! sex isn't something you just ask for try and get her in the mood it shouldn't be always how you feel but consider her feelings too. we guys are sex driven than women try and influence her feelings before the sex can come in! like while at work text her telling her how U Love her and can't wait to Cum to her.. just say something Lovely.. women Love surprise bring her Flowers or Candy, take her out on a dinner date make her feel some type of way and She'll offer you sex without you asking sef.. if you are doing all these already then maybe she doesn't feel you anymore.

Wow!!! This is really complicated!!! Actually I'm not good in giving advice in sex issues bt i guess something is wrong with her either psychologically or medically!!
By psychologically i mean hope she has no sexual abuse experience in the past,because ladies abuse sexually in past usually has no emotion or doesn't enjoy sex!!! The only solution is her to undergo therapy so she can actually get over the abuse nd see sex as something both partner should enjoy not a chore she has to do just satisfy you only!!!
By medically i mean if she's circumcised?it really hard for them to get arouse nd enjoy sex,in this situation it is really hard to make her arouse nd enjoy sex!!
The second problem is....hope she's not suffering from "Vaginismus" which is a situation where pelvic floor muscles is tighten up which makes penetration painful for your partner!!!
My advice nw is for you to visit a gynecologist nd know the root of your problem!!!

semiquaver:
Good morning,
Something has been bothering me and I really need matured minds to advice me.
There's this lady I've been with for long, is over 7 years. I love her beyond words and we've been very close all those years.
She has her own flaws because no one is perfect.
I'm planning to tie the knot with her but there is an aspect of her that is giving me sleepless night. She doesn't like sex.
Before we have sex it will take ages and I must be the one to initiate that after several pleadings.
If she ever consent, she will just tell me to go in and release.
If I stay more than 3 minutes she will be shouting of pain.
Nothing I have never done. Infact before I will ever have sex with her I always give her thorough head for over 15 minutes. When I mean thorough head I mean deep sucking. Even at the point of sucking her she won't even feel anything like women does when they are being sucked. She won't moan or feel like she's enjoying it. That makes me feel that my effort is in vain. After deep sucking she will be wet down but immediately I go in she will still be complaining of pain despite being wet.
This has made me feel so terrible.
At a point I was forced to cheat with two different ladies who made me felt what is real sex. The first lady i met was so romantic and we had the kind of sex I craved. She loved me as well but I didn't love her, just wanted the sex.
I also met another who also gave me what I want in bed. I stopped having something with them because I love my fiancee.

I'm not a sex freak, no I'm not. But at least I want my fiancee to be responsive. I love her so much but she doesn't want to change. She's presently seeing that as her weakness and she's maintaining that if I want to marry her I should get use to her sex life. How can I get use to such life? How can? I go to bed so hard and wake up so hard whereas a woman is around me. Sex means punishment to her.
What will I do? I don't want to disappoint her after such years. I love her but how do I cope?
I'm thinking of taking her to a hospital but what will I tell the doctor?

Sex is the only issue I have with her and to me is a big issue. I see a lot of women due to the nature of my work and even being sex starved always I still respect myself.
I need a matured advice. Thanks

you mean bobrisky?

Maybe she is circumcised,or probably does not feel you. You need to find her errogenous zone and play with her well. Suck her clit and her boobs well, play around her thighs and ensure you give her a very deep kiss for like 10 minutes. Her system may need a lot of work to get her in the mood; don't rush.

Serious gbege

How romantic are you before sex? You will need to study her more, and get to ‘touch’ her up there, and not just ‘down’ there...

Take her out often, unlock her psyche towards you, break away her defenses and let her be wholly yours... this is more of psychological so you will need plenty patience....

Play X rated videos and sensually play with her, like touch her ass or boobs wen she passes you (in private o) and smack your lips, or both of you can stay indoors naked, with minimal light... it is kind of sensual ...

Get some aphrodisiac, administer it to her every evening, at least 2 hours before the action time..

Hope this works, it did for me ...

Cheers

You haven't found her triggers or she's not having feelings for you , no chemistry, a womans brain become nuked when she sees her man, it's like a tigger seeing a fresh plump sheep, she yearns for him, as in your case she's having feelings for someone else or you are not doing things right