₦airaland Forum

if u're not ready to get married to her then let her be.

Are you really that blind?

Since u dont intend 2 get married to her i think u should let her b.i am sure she would have told u everytin and be faithfull to u if it was d other way round.i would advice u cut off and move on instead entangling your self in a love triangle that would not lead anywere

To everyone,I confronted her as I said.On the message case,she tried denying and was angry that I was accusing her falsely,she still went ahead to tell me that she still reserve her luv for me.when I called the man's name,she started stammering,I showed her the print out evidence(including the child's case),she broke into tears.She has found out that my trust for her has waned.Thank God I have made up my mind to move on,I have learned not to be too compassionate about a woman's touching story to fall in love.My greatest pain is:I made up my mind to use her built trust as an example for other women to emulate(I never believd I could trust any lady until I met her)but see what has happened.She has been crying and begging me.You know how it feels

stop telling us stories

I don't really understand people who tell someone that they aren't interested, and yet start growing a tumour when the other person they rejected decides to move on with their lives.

Do some people just enjoy being slave-masters/slave-mistresses of other people's lives?
From your post, it seems you "released" her to get on with her life and "marry who wants to marry her" as you are not ready.
I believe she is working towards just that. 

Except you're just angry about feeling like a mugu about all the other things you're helping her to do, which is understandable.
But for her moving on to get other men, you really don't have the right to be vexed about that.

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EDIT: Ah glad to see it's all sorted out then.

2buff4Mods:
I don't really understand people who tell someone that they aren't interested, and yet start growing a tumour when the other person they rejected decides to move on with their lives.

@ everyone,I've sorted all out,thanks for all your contributions even though some could not comprehend the story before spitting jazz.Let that fool that said I'm telling stories examine his rottening brain.

boobfan:
@ everyone,I've sorted all out,thanks for all your contributions even though some could not comprehend the story before spitting jazz.Let that fool that said I'm telling stories examine his rottening brain.

I was going to ask for the conclusion, till I saw this

I WONT BLAME HER U GUYS ARE YET TO DEFINE D RELATIONSHIP,NA PLAY UNA DEY PLAY WITH EACH OTHER

boobfan:
Please i need your advice on this.I met this lady about seven(7) years older than me (but she doesn't look her age)in an office i work.Other managers have been making a pass at her but she refused.One day while going home together she asked me to come over to know her house since it was close bye,i agreed and went,about 8pm i decided to leave but she asked me to stay till the next day because it was late.I agreed.When it was bed time, i wanted to lie on the chair but she invited me over the bed and told me not to worry.While lying on the bed,she turned and asked if i thought she would disturb me,she said in a weak voice while her hand was resting on my chest tickling my hair,I held her and caressed her with my blood boiling hot and my manhood erect.Suddenly i discovered there was no condom and i withdrew myself explaining to her and she laughed telling me she was sorry taking me unawares that when next i should come with my ''tools''.I went back next time and bleeped her for almost 2hours(no exaggeration).That was the beginning of the journey.She told neighbors that i was her brother that just got a job around.As we proceeded,she told me not to commit my heart too much in the relationship because she may be ordained a female priest in their church which doesnt permit them to marry.Some months later she came with the news that the situation has changed and as a female priest one could still marry.When she wanted to relocate to a new place the owner of the new house refused to accept payment from her cos she had a policy of not accepting single ladies.She missed the first opportunity.When she got another accommodation opportunity she begged me to present myself as the person in need,so i went and made the payment in my name and smartly told the owner that i have a sister that would be staying with me.I therefore decided to be passing most of my nights there to prevent suspicion from the owner of the house.The landlady was seeing us as a brother and sister.Our relationship started building,until a day she called me to complain that i was not showing her love outside,like holding her while walking on the streets but i reminded her that our representation to people around as brother and sister could not allow that.She continued complaining and later she called me in a night to ask me if i have plans of marrying her.That was a big question! I told her that my plan of marriage is in distant future.She reminded me that she was not getting younger,and asked if she should wait till any time im ready.I blankly told her that i would not be a clog to her wheels especially if she has gotten anybody that was ready to marry her,she should go ahead.She became angry and said i was deceiving her all the while,which i reminded her that i never,because i have helped her in several ways.Then anytime i dreamt i would be seeing another man in her house,i tried to find out if she had anybody,but she denied.All the while i saw that i could trust her because she said she didnt double date.We later settled our differences and she said since i wasnt ready to marry yet,i should leave her alone.I was touched but to prevent her from being thrown out of the house i rented with my name,i quickly told the landlady that i have been transfered that i would not be always around and my sister would be representing me.All these while we would still meet in the office and when there was need for me to see the landlady,i would pretend as if i came from journey and go.I discovered that anytime i went around,my girlfriend would be very excited,suddenly my feelings even to get married to her within a short time increased.I protected her interest in the office as a superior and my coleagues though suspected could not get any clue till date if we are dating or not.I take care of some of her financial needs anytime she called on me not to make her feel bad.She asked me to promise her not to date any female coleague in the office as they all fall head over heels for me and i agreed.She receives calls from different men almost every minute in the office and when going home(unlike before).Sometimes in some of the calls,she would inform the caller that she was with a coleague that they would talk later.One day, i became angry and told her that telling someone that on phone was a disregard to me.She apologised,but i told her no problem,she went ahead to swear that she still loved me that all the callers are just face book friends not even living in lagos.Because i trust her,i agreed. Yesterday, i got the shocker of my life when i got to my office and discovered she used my system to access her facebook without not logging off.I saw a message she sent to a male friend that she has missed his kisses,hugs and love making.I discoverd that the friend lives in lagos and her church member!.I left her face book logged on and getting to office today i saw another message telling another male friend that she had a child at 18. Now i am lost.I still drove her home from office today but decided to control myself.What should i do? I am boiling!

calm down and talk to her

boobfan:
She didn't know that her facebook was still logged on in my system because there was power interruption that automatically shut my system down and saved the tabs she was browsing at, because my UPS was faulty.I am a manager while she is the secretary.She went to print a document from my system and browsed her way off when i was off for an appointment.

I am sorry for not putting the whole writeup in paragraph,i wrote them out of anger and confusion.

There's absolutely nothing to be confused about. If you are good enough to manage an office, you should be more than able to manage your life.

You give the impression you don't want her, probably because she's older, this is an inconsequential reason if you ask me. Whatever your reason is, allow her be. She's getting older so are you. This is a new year, be proactive about your love life. Stay out of her life and mean it. Go and find your sweet 16 and if she wants to sleep around, it's her choice. It won't bother you so much if you are not together anymore.

Oops it's not unusual for you to descend into a deep romantic feeling for a girl you initially didn't wish to marry when you are often in physical contact as sex mates. Infact this scenario plays out 97% of the time. That's why real players hit and walk away uprovoked and unapologetically.

A psychological game is being played on you right now. Some of her tactics are not out of place though. She is a woman and at her age she is entitled to what she wants irrespective of how she gets it.

First, She tried to make you respond(commitment & marriage) by removing stimulus (sex & affection). This was when she asked you if you were willing to marry her, you declined and she asked that you to both end it.

Secondly, she already saw the jealousy and possessiveness in you when she introduced you as colleague while on the phone. She and me knew it's a matter of time for you to rush her into commitment and marriage.

Moreover, she deliberately used and not logged off her FB account on your system in order to prime you up(provoke your commitment through jealousy), and also soften the shock you would feel if she had to tell you she got kid verbally.

Finally, you seem to have lost touch with the kind of woman you want to spend your life with, so pinch yourself a bit.

Lies lies and more lies to your blockus this new year

This story too long, summarize abeg

Nsogbu akarie... Na to nak dey my mind no dating Hoo haa

An excuse for you to break the relationship, why do you even need advice or have you fallen in love with her?

placeofallure:
There's absolutely nothing to be confused about. If you are good enough to manage an office, you should be more than able to manage your life.

You give the impression you don't want her, probably because she's older, this is an inconsequential reason if you ask me. Whatever your reason is, allow her be. She's getting older so are you. This is a new year, be proactive about your love life. Stay out of her life and mean it. Go and find your sweet 16 and if she wants to sleep around, it's her choice. It won't bother you so much if you are not together anymore.

But this case ended in 2011 !