₦airaland Forum

truthsayer009:
6 figures is a term not just a word you can throw around.

Madame we are talking about context here & in that, 6 figures means that you earn considerably well. Americans use it to gauge people who earn above the average, It is not for anyone to just use out of context.

It's a mark, once you hit the 100k mark, you now earn more than the average. Not because you can also earn 999,999.



Now in this context, 6 figures means he was earning a lot before, now he couldn't find a good job as his previous one, hence the saying "he lost his job but doesn't want a job that isn't up to his previous 6 figures pay". Obviously he earns less than 100,000 thousand Naira
Now even earning 100,000 naira in Nigeria carries no weight, so therefore your 6 figure sentence is clearly used wrongly here.

Sister Amaka, you can also compare it to someone who also earns in Zimbabwe dollars, so they also use the term 6 figures right? Shey 6 figures is 6 figures.

Now looking at this image below, once I type 6-figures, it automatically explains the $100,000 US Dollar to me. Obviously It is a term originated by them & used by them for a reason.

You are just going in circles explaining what I don't understand, are you saying the term "six figures" can only be used by americans because the explanation google gave is in dollars?

And @bolded, how does earning six figures previously mean he earns less than 100,000 naira? I don't understand......

You problem previously was that naira has no value like dollars, now you brought up Zimbabwe's dollars, if we should go by that, isn't a six figures Nigerian salary higher than the Zimbabwean dollars?

Now you had to bring up another google screenshot cos the previous screenshot didn't suit you?

Brother Obi, stop displaying inferiority complex here, certain English words isn't designated for a particular country cos an example was given in a certain currency, grow up.

xaggar:
Won't it sound silly if it was the other way round?

You are yet to accept a natural fact and order of things.

hi good morning. What is the natural fact and order of things

neyop85:
Quit the grammer and communicate.
Oyinbo... we have seen u.

Bumpkin, I'm not the cause of your ignorance. Now direct your further mention(s) to small-minded people like you because I don't indulge nonsense.

CHoccolaTE:
Honestly, especially Nigerian men. Evil, arrogant and selfish group of people.
Even if housework and bread winning is killing their wives it's not their concern, as long as his ego is massaged.

And look at the hypocrites on this thread asking madam to continue showing a self centered egoist love and pray for him.

Let a woman be the one acting so useless in her marriage this thread will be counting five pages of insults by now.

i can see ur frustration sis, u married a wrong man

MamaFryo:
I need to arrest your husband right away. That guy needs to be locked in the cell for his head to be correct. Tell him to kukuma kill you na!


Let me book space here to hear from other people...

I am not surprised that you are not married till now

Lubish...get him a female cleaner and watch his reaction this time.He's not telling u what he's looking for. Delebrately set him up with a female cleaner so u can see his through colour

The man is just being silly and petty.He got chances of working but refused to get a "any kind of pay".He rather subject his wife to unnecessary stress than get a job even if it means he leaves the house and come late just for sanity sake?Sorry Op, you married a vindictive and mentally weak man.

I commend your patience.If he doesn't want house help,listen to him.BUT, do the ones you can then leave the rest.

daddytime:
Hmmm

You sound quite loving, patient and an understanding wife, and I'd advise you keep at it while hoping he'd find a way to navigate through this present tupsy turvy which most a times are a given in every man's life.

Can't understand his motive for insisting you do the chores yourself even when you could outsource same seeing how he isn't willing to lend a hand.

I honestly feel he needs to take a breather, see things for what they are right now, make adjustments while keeping his head above water, and meeting you at a junction with all the support necessary.

Hopefully, his attitude won't push you over the edge and escalate issues.

Just be mindful of your words and keep being understanding, because anything contra will get him screaming "is it because I'm out of work now"

I see ego and irritability at play here..
I hope you guys get over this...

You don't need to play Judge Juddy. She just needs advice on how to get a help without causing friction at home.. I hail bro

SKYloafFISH:
hi good morning. What is the natural fact and order of things

It's a natural fact that he male specie is the dominant and lead specie in the human and animal domain.

It's under the natural order that we aren't meant to do effeminate things like wash plates, change diapers etc especially when she's around.

Fountainofyouth:
He is not depressed anything abeg, why won't he allow his wife get a maid after changing 4 maids in a year? He is just a vindictive and bitter person, he hates the fact that his wife is the one working and he is the one at home, he just wants to domesticate her by force nah, abi why else will he tell her to do it herself, someone that is working and obviously needs help at home.....

No
The man is not comfortable with a maid because he is at home . He feels ashamed staying at home with anyone ... but unfortunately that's what he must endure...only if another man he respects talks with him about this ...he may change
So madam, get someone you know your husband respect to talk to him .That's only way . Most of the advice you would get here are not suitable because we haven't heard from him ....

ojonwamama:
wives please learn not to add to men's fustration when they are in such economic crisis

It's the man that's frustrating himself o.The wife no get hand for this matter at all

maiahsaiah:
Stupid question

Was it directed at you?

That's how you bring trouble home for your husband or brothers. Poking your "flat nose" into what isn't your business.

genq:
Here we go again! Another topic posted for the sole purpose of inviting frustrated NL femcels to come bash your husband.

Just a quick question based off the highlighted statement below. Why is it that a man can feed, house and even clothe a woman and the children all of his life but you will never hear him announce this to the hearing of others - but let a woman pay the bills for just one out of thirty years, the whole world must know and we won't hear the last of it!

It is not the responsibility of a woman to feed the home and she is not complaining of been tired to do so. She need help and the husband is not supporting her that is the issue here. And bear it in mind that woman do all the house cores including taking care of the children in the case where the husband works and provide for the house but can her husband do all the house cores now since is the wife that is bringing income and providing for the home? Can men do 2% of what we do aside from bringing in money. Kudos to my fellow women standing in for men when they fall short of their responsibilities

[quote author=genq post=84236462]Here we go again! Another topic posted for the sole purpose of inviting frustrated NL femcels to come bash your husband.

Just a quick question based off the highlighted statement below. Why is it that a man can feed, house and even clothe a woman and the children all of his life but you will never hear him announce this to the hearing of others - but let a woman pay the bills for just one out of thirty years, the whole world must know and we won't hear the last of it!


that's the husband's responsibility. leaving the responsibilities of the husband for the help mate (wife), definitely will become tiring soonest. but understanding between both would some much help to fixing things. just keep praying and talking in conducive times only and also dont be pushed to say and act in ways you might regret later. at all time try to handle things calmly. you must not talk always, most especially when he is not happy. try to discourage him on the drinking aspect (very important).

genq:
Here we go again! Another topic posted for the sole purpose of inviting frustrated NL femcels to come bash your husband.

Just a quick question based off the highlighted statement below. Why is it that a man can feed, house and even clothe a woman and the children all of his life but you will never hear him announce this to the hearing of others - but let a woman pay the bills for just one out of thirty years, the whole world must know and we won't hear the last of it!

In what way are you different from those you claim will come here to bash or say Bla Bla Bla! What solutions did you proffer.

I was hoping for an awesome comment after the first paragraph, but Olympus fell. Because sadly in the whole write up, this was the only thing you could quote and pick out, you didn't understand that this was mentioned as within the context of the post and not to brag. Damn you are slow!

So are all the people who gave you likes. Indeed majority don't always have sense.

It's men like you, who when she foots the bills in a situation like this, even when she mentions it to no one, will still come and shame her privately or publicly with words like "is it because you did this?"

Pls just hush, it's better to say nothing than spew trash.

Op may the good God see you throug this trial time in ur marriage nd uphold ur home. Ur man is prolly suffering from depressing and this can make anyone think/acts insane. Try to make him understand from ur point of view dat you guys needs househelp, don't you dare tell him to help with the house chores just because he has nothing doing now. AND LASTLY BE CAUTIOUS OF SOME GIRLS ON HERE WHO CANNOT EVEN KEEP A BOYFRIEND FOR TWO MONTHS.

[color=#000099][/color][quote author=UnbiasTruth post=84235978]I am sorry this is rather too long but please I need to pour out my mind because I need your mature advice. I have been going through a lot of trauma since my husband stopped working and it is really getting to me because my blood pressure is high.

I love my husband and despite what is happening now, I still love him. I just need advice on how to manage the situation right now.

My husband is a hard-working, loving, caring and gentle man; he showed me true love from the first day I met him. He was very dedicated to his job and he received commendations from his boss and colleagues at work but something just happened that led to his resignation.

A kind of conspiracy against him. He was advised by one of his superiors at work to resign. Now it’s been more than a year that he is out of job. All attempts to get him back into the labour force had been futile because he keeps saying he does not want to settle for less.

He was earning six figure salary while at his former place of work and he has a side business which he still manages till now but the profit is close to nothing and it is not even constant.

Now, the issue I have with him is that my husband gets angry at almost everything. He nags and drinks (not with friends because he is an introvert) excessively, so he is always at home. He keeps on complaining about our house helps even when I investigate and realize that most of his complaints are flimsy. We have changed house helps in this year up to 4 times.

So, in August this year, I decided not to get any maid again since we could not find one whose domestic care service would satisfy my husband.

Mind you, I have been the one practically footing the bill after two months that my husband lost his job because we made a huge investment in acquiring some property shortly before he lost his job. So, I pay house rent, school fees, feed the whole family (we have 3 lovely children) from my salary.

My nature of work rarely gives me time so I can’t afford to take care of the children and do much of the house chores. I explained to my husband to assist since he is always at home but he keeps saying if he had not lost his job, I wouldn’t have asked him to do basic house chores.

I know he was raised with silver spoon so he rarely knows how to do most domestic work. I had been the one doing this before we started having house helps and my job at office got more engaging.

My pastor recently advised that I should consider getting a professional cleaner who will only do some routine cleaning and leave immediately because my husband may not be comfortable with a stranger in the house.

Two days ago, I came across a thread https://www.nairaland.com/5426688/what-cost-getting-regular-home here on Nairaland while searching for a good cleaning service here in Lagos and I decided to pay for the service of a male cleaner.

After discussing with my husband, he shunned the idea and still insists I do it myself. So, he asked me to demand a refund. I need someone to help me do some basic cleaning at home since I can afford to pay for the service, but my husband does not want to accept any stranger in our home.

I have asked my pastor and my mother-in-law to talk to him also but he is still keeping deaf hear.

Is there anyone with a better suggestion before I get fed up?

Until I hear the husband's own side of the story, I reserve my comment. Do not try in any way to exercise control over this man and probably remind him of his situation very now and then. He will resist you. My advice though.

killmods:
You don't need to play Judge Juddy. She just needs advice on how to get a help without causing friction at home.. I hail bro

I hail you too sir..

@OP, it is obvious you are a good woman. You appreciated your husband and also a knowledge how responsible he has been...even before he lost his job.

Now let us look at it from another perspective...

It looks like you have not been involving your husband in certain decisions regarding your home front. I could see that you did try to do everything with a good heart but you have unconsciously taken the position of your husband as the head of the family. No man will ever like it. He may not be able to tell you because he loves you dearly and would not want to hurt you and hence the frustration on anything else but you.

Now, did you discuss with or take permission from him before getting housemaid? Did you explain the situation and challenges you are facing at home and work place and ask him to get househelp for you? I'm pretty positive he may likely be the one to ask you to go get one and will support it fully, he will feels he is still in control of his home.
In as much as you love and trust your husband as the head of your home. Please, let him take the front role of being the head of the family. You can correct this situation, after sizzling, romantic hootty sexxxx that can make a man forget his name, and immediately release funds to him and ask him to take charge, henceforth when it's time to pay bills, school fees and other services while you continue to support him in the background until he is back on track. Your husband will adore you more for this singular act.

If you truly want happiness for your family please do as advise above. You are a great woman and if you are able to do this, your price will be truly far above rubies.

Goodluck!

what about your children, are they not old enough to do the house chores

genq:
You sha want every woman to end up as miserable as you. Period-licking feminist lesbiaan!

And you called someone else bitter! Seems it's venom seeping through your own veins.

This is what happens when some people have a phone and fingers to type. Not everyone is deserving.

All your comments explain your first comment. Sense if quite far from you

blissbliss:
UnbiasTruth, thank you for all you do. I’m assuming you’re looking for a way forward.

My advice?
Once you get paid, you can transfer like 50% of your salary to his account and let him assume the role, say you want to go to the market, say ‘Darling, can you help us with some change, we’d be cooking’.
I believe you’re making the burden light on him as this ain’t best of times for him; being a man picking up his bills before now but due to circumstances he just can’t no more and that being temporary.

Give it a shot, it actually might work.

Thanks, God grant you a peaceful home. Amen

@blissbliss, I want to thank you for the candid opinion you gave here. I've read quite a number of them, yours sounds so pragmatic, how I wish the lady will try this option, if it fails, she can always stop. But I'm so sure something positive will show up in the husband's attitude.

Meanwhile, I was curious to know which area you are active in on nairaland. Amazingly, I saw you in technology, Auto section etc. You can be sure I'll be following you.

If you have property request, let me know o!

God bless the woman in question.

I dont understand what the problem is.

Your wife is holding the forte till you stand on your feet again, heeded to your complaints and even went as far as hiring a male non live in help to help ease her of the stress and clean the house which you wont do and she can afford to pay for, you still claim she should do the chores herself?

Which kain yeye ego is that?

You want her to quench finally, the funny part is sebi he allowed helps when he had a job.

If this is not wickedness I wonder what is?

AwkaetitiBabe:
That's why I love oyibo mentality, he would have turned into the house husband to help you d bread winner out pending when he gets a job.

Yea

But not all oyibo will do that tho
Some will

genq:
Here we go again! Another topic posted for the sole purpose of inviting frustrated NL femcels to come bash your husband.

Just a quick question based off the highlighted statement below. Why is it that a man can feed, house and even clothe a woman and the children all of his life but you will never hear him announce this to the hearing of others - but let a woman pay the bills for just one out of thirty years, the whole world must know and we won't hear the last of it!

this is the answer

genq:
Here we go again! Another topic posted for the sole purpose of inviting frustrated NL femcels to come bash your husband.

Just a quick question based off the highlighted statement below. Why is it that a man can feed, house and even clothe a woman and the children all of his life but you will never hear him announce this to the hearing of others - but let a woman pay the bills for just one out of thirty years, the whole world must know and we won't hear the last of it!

all these MGTOW nonsense again, you people refuse to accept the fact that some women are the bread winners of their homes, you want to see all women as leeches in your delusional brain and the minute anyone comes out openly to say she is the bread winner of her home, you try to shut her down with your usual blackmail

eniolorunfe:
This too shall pass...never forget this phrase!

While you jejely give your husband time to get over this phase as things hopefully get better...
Let everyone in the house start picking up after themselves...

You will be surprised at how much kids can get done in the house with the right incentives... You have 3 kids na ( I don't know their ages but I want to presume that at least 2 out of the 3 of them should be able to clean up after themselves)

As long as everyone cleans up after themselves there wouldn't be so much left for you to do at the end of the day. Also get labour saving devices while at it.

This may just be your husband's way of letting out is frustration with his present predicament. Give him time and pray for him too. I'm not justifying his actions, just suggesting ways for you to manage the situation.

best advice

genq:
Based on your previous comment I shouldn't even be responding to an uncouth scallywag like you.

You said OP's husband should be locked up - of course you'd say something so senseless and idiotic being that you have no man of your own.

Local champion

Local champion indeed back yard made.

Pussywar:
patriarchy kings won't like this thread at all. Op you have patience, I'm not insinuating anything but if it was me, soon as he showed that stupid arrogance, that he can't do house chores and doesn't want you to get a house help, ogbeni I don waka. But we are not the same. Stand you ground and insist on getting a house help since he's a 'man' and they didn't teach him how to be a responsible human being. No offence . Y'all both have same rights in that house. If he won't help you, get house help. Wonder why y'all marry shit like that anyway. No offence . That is why they keep insisting women should be submissive, so shit like this can happen. I dey vex abeg. Mtchew

With this your attitude, you better remain single

vickydevoka:
Society ni breadwinner ko!. They there the look society may sand enter ur eye. If u have been to somewhere lyk Abuja majority of lady are breadwinner simply bcus women are more employed than men.
Or if I can get a connection for my wife to work in ministry of women affairs n earn six figures, is dat bad. Abeg we have gone past that age of bread or garri winner. Na who see Road go share give de rest

If your wife is the breadwinner then be ready to assist. She can't be the breadwinner and carry every other load. That is what we are saying. Men should always be considerate. Don't dish what you can't take

xaggar:
It's a natural fact that he male specie is the dominant and lead specie in the human and animal domain.

It's under the natural order that we aren't meant to do effeminate things like wash plates, change diapers etc especially when she's around.

domain kor website ni

Abeg shiftt