Thanks for your understanding as a wife material. Please I will advice u put in 60% of pay into that business on monthly basis so he can be partially engaged by living the house. The profit that will come out from the business he can use it to run family needs so that he can be seen as the head because that is what he want. You will see that thinking and drinking will now stop

They would've kicked the woman to the curbs if reverse had been the case here.

Men are obviously the worse hypo-critics and crybabies ever.

Work, you no wan settle for less, chores you no dey do.......just occupying space like MATTER

Mrs. You have come a long way and sincerely you shown great mature quality,but you still need more patience,I know it not easy but prosperity will compensate you and your story will be great.

24kmagic:
I just feel he's kicking against strangers coming into your house because he doesn't want outsiders to find out that you're the one running the home. Because one way or the other, they will know and he'll lose his respect before the public, you know how 9ja people do reason.

As for not wanting to assist, he doesn't want to lose his dominance over you. Cos believe me once he starts helping, you'll unconsciously think that's his responsibility.

Honestly, all I see in this is a family man that is frustrated due to his inability to provide for his family. He will come around as soon as he gets a nice job.

But he's lucky to have you tho, 95 inside 100 women will not take that from their man.

They'll rub his joblessness on his face till he gets depressed, leading to suicide.

You're blessed!

80% nairalanders aren't mature and some other 15% post childish stuffs for cheap likes but I'll advise d OP to take this advice up here.

No woman can handle such power without making d man feel lazy and no man should pray to be in such shoes..

DenreleDave:



Rubbish.... Even those that wrote the books didn't have a settled married life...they are talking about live experiences, he is talking about books....

I don't have a word for you naive fellow

xaggar:


If you don't know that the female folks have their place in the society and natural order "you've simply got nothing to offer!" You don't have an idea of what injustice is, so stop trying to sound educated.

You don't know more than the creator who made things this way.

There are hierarchies even in the unseen realm and this Earth is just a reflection. We are not equals (male and females) despite what the folly of today's educational system makes you think.

I wanted to just type “mumu” because that’s exactly how you sound with the trash you wrote. But I’ll be civil and refrain myself.

maiahsaiah:


I wanted to just type “mumu” because that’s exactly how you sound with the trash you wrote. But I’ll be civil and refrain myself.

Thought u had something upstairs...never knew it was just condemned oil and rust draped with a cheap oversized wig that makes you look like an 18th century repatriated freed negro who was previously under servitude in a sugar cane plantation located somewhere at the Caribbean.

Scram! Nincompoop!

xaggar:


Thought u had something upstairs...never knew it was just condemned oil and rust.

Nincompoop!

Oh, thanks for the thought at least. It’s sad I never even had any positive thought about you.

maiahsaiah:


Oh, thanks for the thought at least. It’s sad I never even had any positive thought about you.

Why should u when there's no means for that under ur skull!

xaggar:


Why should u when there's no means for that under ur skull!

Bye!

maiahsaiah:


Bye!

Only if you knew what bye means.

xaggar:


Thought u had something upstairs...never knew it was just condemned oil and rust draped with a cheap oversized wig that makes you look like an 18th century repatriated freed negro who was previously under servitude in a sugar cane plantation located somewhere at the Caribbean.

Scram! Nincompoop!

Oh! You had to modify to sound savage...LMAO!!!

That weed is doing you strong thing.

Story of my life even worse because I'm unemployed too. Won't care if I had a job sef. For a man to sit at home while the woman carry goods moving around like mad person selling next to nothing. Have to beg and borrow food stuffs and money here and there to pay bills. Don't do house work for me go get something doing. If he goes out to hustle wetin concern him with house help. It is not okay to be idle. It's better to go out and come back empty than to stay indoors empty.

persevere my dear, all i see is trial time, a text of love, respect, humility, commitment and above all sense of maturity, continue to discharge ur obligation as a wife, never u see ur self as d bread winner of d home as u re already portraying 2be even though u re, suggest issues to him and pamper him to profer solution at all cost, mke him alwys feel like d man he is. most importantly, pray to ur creator for he sees all.

send boys to beat sense into him...then divorce him

SKYloafFISH:
men view things from a different perspective. They are only a one way thinker and only want to Lord everything on us

Who is this one again ?..

Men are only one way thinkers?..

Madam u sound senile..

Seun shld start regulating pple that can comment...Reading people like this kills brain cells

Fountainofyouth:



He is not depressed anything abeg, why won't he allow his wife get a maid after changing 4 maids in a year? He is just a vindictive and bitter person, he hates the fact that his wife is the one working and he is the one at home, he just wants to domesticate her by force nah, abi why else will he tell her to do it herself, someone that is working and obviously needs help at home.....

Your man hate is almost palpable...
You aint completely lost yet though..

I'm be praying for you..
Shalom..

Reading the comments from the ladies on here made me realize we need to start praying for these girls mehn..


At this rate most may not end up well..

Guys Pray o!

maiahsaiah:


Oh! You had to modify to sound savage...LMAO!!!

That weed is doing you strong thing.

Local!

SwagPower:
Reading the comments from the ladies on here made me realize we need to start praying for these girls mehn..


At this rate most may not end up well..

Guys Pray o!

Don't pray for ladies rather pray for yourself and fellow men to be a great provider to their families

dominique:
Send him back to his father's house to go and learn some manners. Don't take him back till you're convinced he has changed.

I see what you did there. Didn't get it at first

Theyoungmatron:
Don't pray for ladies rather pray for yourself and fellow men to be a great provider to their families

Madam r u still in the stone age?..

its the 21st century,we are in the era of gender equality...
The title of provider is anyone's responsibility nw...

Shebi we want to b madt..

SwagPower:


Madam r u still in the stone age?..

its the 21st century,we are in the era of gender equality...
The title of provider is anyone's responsibility nw...

Shebi we want to b madt..

Men are crying everywhere oooo. Gender equality when it suits you. If you cannot provide then do the work at home, naaaaa. The wife is expected to provide, birth babies and do household chores to this generation of OCCUPIERS OF SPACE aka MATTER that scream gender equality at every turn.
Shame on you guys

Theyoungmatron:
Men are crying everywhere oooo. Gender equality when it suits you. If you cannot provide then do the work at home, naaaaa. The wife is expected to provide, birth babies and do household chores to this generation of OCCUPIERS OF SPACE aka MATTER that scream gender equality at every turn.
Shame on you guys

As a matter of principle I dnt converse with pple with atretic brains...

So,;I'm Not getting in that mud with u...

Goodnight ma..

SwagPower:


As a matter of principle I dnt converse with pple with atretic brains...

So,;I'm Not getting in that mud with u...

Goodnight ma..

And I, equally do not converse with people that writes ineligible and incoherent sentences.

xaggar:


Why should u when there's no means for that under ur skull!

una too like fight

Soundmind:
[s]Madam,
am very sorry on what you are passing through, is highly painful and unexpected.
May i also told you that you majorly caused it. It is not because of ego problem of the man,
it is because he is filling that because of his joblessness and less financial contribution to
the family now, he is not getting respect due to him naturally and traditionally.
I blame you in asking him to help you in house chores now. You are belittling him.
Whatever you have not asked him to do you when thing was going well, don't ask
him to do it for you now, he will misunderstand you.
You added salt to injury by hiring a male helper without his consent. Pls, it could be
highly misunderstood. Sack the helper immediately.
Pls, don't take your family issue to pastor, talk it out with your man first.
Before going to Pastor, make sure that all his people and you people have heard of it
and make various imput that could not resolve the issue.
On rhe way forward, pls, take this man out and spoil him, pamper him and make him
feel that you enjoy him more now that he is jobless that when he have job.
If you do this, he will do all those house chores happily and even do more without
complain. He will be more relax and who knows, he will get a better job soon.
Just be submissive, love him more and care for him.
Thank you.[/s]

Bullshit! Someone is deliberately being insensitive to his spouse and you expect her to keep pampering him? Is it the same advice you would have given to a man whose wife is annoyingly useless and inconsiderate?

Some women who are unemployed or without means of income are not so by choice, are they pampared by their husbands? Most of them are made to feel worthless by their husbands so why should this one be pampared?

You men really believe a woman's sole purpose of existence is to please you and massage your egos.

dominique:


Bullshit! Someone is deliberately being insensitive to his spouse and you expect her to keep pampering him? Is it the same advice you would have given to a man whose wife is annoyingly useless and inconsiderate?

Some women who are unemployed or without means of income are not so by choice, are they pampared by their husbands? Most of them are made to feel worthless by their husbands so why should this one be pampared?

You men really believe a woman's sole purpose of existence is to please you and massage your egos.

Dominique, if you have ever been in a position of leadership and you are so incapacitated, you will know how such people can easily get depressed and misbehave irrationally.

I'll advise the OP to send most of the money for monthly upkeep to her husband to directly take charge until he is back fully in his finances. I am positive the positive change she will see in her husband behaviour would be massive.

She has done well and will feel much better if she can empower her husband for the main time instead of her taken charge directly? No man, I say not one man, would be comfortable in such position that her husband is at the moment. Not even me.

She should always take directive before hiring a house help too. I can't just come home one day and my wife, say, hi dear, meet our new house help? I will bnot take it and that maid is going back to wherever she brought her from...

Thank you all for your advice. I took time to check all. My husband has finally accepted that a cleaner should work for us. Thank you Nairaland.

healthserve:



Babe.

You speak and judge from both sides of your mouth. Hypocrite. Pick one struggle.

UyaiIncomparabl:


You speak and judge from both sides of your mouth. Hypocrite. Pick one struggle.

Who's this one?

UyaiIncomparabl:


You speak and judge from both sides of your mouth. Hypocrite. Pick one struggle.

babe u look takeaway.i am attracted 2 u.i would wanna no u beta.watup