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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) (52315 Views)
When A Deadbeat Dad Gets Old And Weary. / Boy's Converstaion With His 'Deadbeat' Dad About Christmas Gift Sparks Debate / How I Ended My Relationship With A Married Man (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by luminouz(m): 12:05pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA: Your case taya me woman or man! |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by mapet: 12:05pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ryan03: Then your Dad is what the Yorubas call "Baba Gbogbo aye" - "Father of Nations". That scenario, I can only empathize with your mum, as one can imagine what she had to bear........ |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 12:06pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
luminouz:lol, but this was before we argued! |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by luminouz(m): 12:07pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA: *sighs* You still are not learning anything from the discourse,are you? You muddled everything up and that's bad. I hope you find peace 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ladycewhy(f): 12:07pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ryan03:exactly ,the op gave us half stories turns out his mum and dad have reconciled and now live together 3 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ryan03(f): 12:08pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
mapet:we have learnt to move on, my issue is with those who believes such relationships should be restored. Cases are different hence you can't say everyone should breach gaps. If me dad was still alive, I would have forgiven him but never have anything to do with him. 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ladycewhy(f): 12:08pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
IceColdVeins:wait, him and your mum have reconciled? Now this is more interesting Cc ibkayee 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by luminouz(m): 12:09pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA: Lol...you were really boiling o... Oya lemme buy you coldstone. |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Nobody: 12:10pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Sterope:people like you are the problem we have in this country. You justify one bad character when it suits you and you make case for another bad character when it doesn't go your way. You want him now to ask his mom the reason why she behaves badly towards the dad in other to justify what ever thing she was putting up to the day but you are at the same time saying the OPs dad doesn't have any reason to justify what he did. Who knows if the mom shuts the father out completely just to prove a point, who knows if the father tried several times to reach out to the children but the mom swore never to see that happen. See eh, you are a child today, you will also become a parent tomorrow, then you will understand how all these things works. Hope your husband don't manipulate your children in believing everything he says thereby abandoning you sha. |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ryan03(f): 12:12pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ladycewhy:I see |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by ibkayee(f): 12:13pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ladycewhy:Thanks, this was just pointed out to me earlier, but until we know the details it still isn't saying that much |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ladycewhy(f): 12:15pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ryan03:The op deliberately left of that detail and now this thread has turned into something else. As it stands the op is the only one in his family who has not mended fences with his dad. His mother and other siblings have all done that. And now he has to make extra effort by apologizing and buying gifts lest he becomes the black sheet of the family. IceColdVeins did i leave anything out? 5 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 12:16pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
luminouz:why do you all think I need peace? I'm airing the other side nobody wants to look at. The thread that led him to his reconciliation was not a well-balanced one but one written by a well-known female hating MGTOW proponent. He encouraged people to shun their mothers as women are apparently manipulative liars, while the men need to be listien to, forgetting that in bitter relationships, men will also lie manipulatively about their wives and they are truly cruel to their families. Ryan03, a man can testify to that. But they consider him a woman because he doesn't agree with them. He had no true reason to reconcile, but that he's scared of what his own kids will do to him. He has simply taken the advice on that thread that men are innocent, even when their actions are evil. That is why I put that up. And the OP later went to modify his post. What you see now was not always there. It's after the first few pages he went back to modify and now everyone has no peace. 9 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Nobody: 12:18pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
BrutusOj:bro am a an already but op Experience is just 6yrs break... Some people carry a deep hurt than that 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ladycewhy(f): 12:21pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
ibkayee:i think the op is the one who defended his mum the most during the time when his parents had issues, ever heard of the saying "dem nor dey talk put for husband and wife matter"? This is what played out. He was the most vocal of them all and now that his parents have settled he is going to be affected more in fixing his relationship with his dad. Hence the apology and gift. Imagine everyone except you is now cool with the person all of you used to beef, now i understand why the op needed to apologize ,he needed to fix the relationship with his dad at any cost lest he becomes the black sheep of the family. 5 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 12:21pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
BrutusOj:oh shut up. You sound like a gossipy little bitch. What sort of man is this. I know you menstruate 3 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 12:23pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
JONNYSPUTE:he should ignore his mother if she abandoned him. Anyone who abandons you isn't worth your reconciliation. 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by midnighter(f): 12:23pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ladycewhy: Thank you He just has to save himself from being awkwardly frozen out of the family since his mother doesnt have any quarrel with the man again |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ryan03(f): 12:23pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ladycewhy:ah! Now I get the whole picture. But icecoldveins you should have stated that the first time na, it means your dad has apologized to your mum and settled everything while you refused to mend fences (I stand corrected). You should have been plain from the beginning 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by luminouz(m): 12:24pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA: Will you take coldstone or not? Just coman take it oooo 2 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by JONNYSPUTE(m): 12:25pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA:..That's not the right way to go about it.Let us endeavour to show love and forgiveness at all times. If not for the other party but for your own sake.What he did is not bad. |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by luminouz(m): 12:25pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
BRATISLAVA: That guy got to you! Learn to ignore stuffs. |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by ibkayee(f): 12:26pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ladycewhy: Yeah I think he's doing it to get along, which is the safest and most 'peaceful' approach, it just sucks that it won't address let alone fix the deep underlying issues. That's life I guess so I don't blame him 2 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 12:26pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
luminouz:I'm learning from you, sensei |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by IceColdVeins(m): 12:26pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
You are kind of on point, I don't care if I'm singled out though. I just dont want the rift between us have any spiritual or circumstantial implications on me in future, you'll never know, I might actually be fathering a son too in future, chew on that buddy. Ladycewhy: |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ladycewhy(f): 12:28pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
midnighter:i would have appreciated if IceColdVeins ran with this narrative from the beginning instead of letting this thread degenerate into something else. If i hadn't queried why he had to apologize i wouldn't have gotten this part of the detail he left out. He made it seem like he was doing it to find peace bla bla bla when the truth is the rest of the family already moved past the reconcilaition phase and he is the only one late to the party. 7 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Yxxx: 12:28pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Romanoff: To what end? |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by JONNYSPUTE(m): 12:28pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ladycewhy:.. Good you can now get a clearer picture of the whole scenario. 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by KanuSE: 12:29pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Zukky123: Stop buying him wine coz he could easily get himself a carton if he wants. I believe he would be fascinated if you can show the man in you with regards to conflict resolution. What I mean by 'the man in you' is finding an amicable way of warming up to him i.e tell it to his face that you miss him a lot & you need him - a child's words are powerful! He may kick you out once again but do not be deterred coz he would have heard those words and in his solitary time those strong words would reverberate in his ears until he looks in your direction. Secondly, write down those moments you needed him most in your life, those instances you felt only he could fit in. This is necessary so that you won't forget to let him know when he finally grants you an audience. Do not bring up your mum's issue coz you wanna fix you&him first - don't throw a spanner in the works. Try not to create a tensed atmosphere for this kind of conversation, be relaxed and ask if he would like to talk over a drink. You're his blood remember, that's your DAD. 1 Like |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Ladycewhy(f): 12:30pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
IceColdVeins:lol i am not chewing on anything ,and i am not your buddy ,just pointing out what i think cos you deliberately changed the narrative and left people to form their opinions blindly. 4 Likes |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by BRATISLAVA: 12:30pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
luminouz:Lol. |
Re: Deadbeat Father: How A Nairanlander's Quote Ended My Family's Rift. (photos) by Omakraid(f): 12:31pm On Dec 13, 2019 |
Ladycewhy:Now you gerrit 1 Like |
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