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Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. - Family - Nairaland

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Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 1:58pm On Sep 03
NB: I am not saying there are no irresponsible and worthless fathers. Of course there are. grin

Due to the fact that fathers instill harsh discipline and are usually away working to feed the family, children are usually close to their mothers. Mothers usually spoil and pamper their children hence another reason children are close to their mothers. One advantage of this is that the mothers have a huge influence on the minds of the children. grin During parental dispute and irrespective of whether the wife is at fault or not, women are usually fond of brainwashing and poisoning the minds of their children against their fathers. Even if there is no dispute, some women still control the minds of their kids in order to get the upper hand in the childish game of power they started and are playing in the home.

Most men usually settle matters amicably and are willing to own their mistakes but women, whether or not they are wrong, will always want to "win" the dispute and would go any length to achieve such. Brainwashing and poisoning the minds of the kids against the father is one of the ways of achieving such. In such brainwashing, the children see the father as the bad person while the mum is the angel. Some children later grow up to see that it was the other way around while some never grow out of the brainwashing for many years. As the woman is brainwashing the kids, she keeps the kids distant from the father so that she can successfully fuel the narrative that father is a bad and was never there. She wouldn't even let the father visit instead she always give one excuse or the other or even avoid the father. The woman would even make sure that the contacts of the children are not available to the father. The woman might even put the children in a situation whereby either they are for her or for the father. You can't blame the children for falling for the lies because the mother has appeared so nice and caring to them. grin

Some mothers would be communicating to the fathers behind the children's back looking for up keeps yet they won't tell the children. They will exploit the kind hearted nature of the father to get money from him by making up stories that children are sick blah blah blah. They will then make it out to be that they are the ones making the money while the father doesn't care. Sometimes when the father wants to see his children, they will charge the fathers money in one form or the other. If they fulfill their promise of let the kids see the children, which many don't, the visit would be short. Afterall, she still let the father see his children, right? She might even post the visit with the pics on her social media so that everyone can see that "she let the kids visit and spend quality time with their papa". grin

If you are the child of a deadbeat dad who thinks father is evil and mom is good, you have to start asking questions. Here are some of the questions you should ask :
1) Do I believe my father is horrible because I really know him or it's what my mother told me? Have I heard both sides of the story?
2) Does my mother allow free and open access for me to communicate and build a relationship with my father? Is she always monitoring my conversations with my father and asking what we discussed?
3) Has my father been providing money but my mum doesn't tell me?
4) Does my father have my contact number or did my mum make it that my father can only communicate with me through her phone so that she can monitor and regulate the conversation? She could do so to fuel the narrative that mum is good and dad is bad.
5) Nairalanders can make their suggestions.

By asking these questions and making analysis, you would figure out if mum has skeletons in her cupboard or not. It's also possible that your dad could be the one at fault. Check things for yourself. There are good and bad fathers and there are good and bad mothers. Women who do these things are wicked and can't be said to really care about the children. Why are such women reducing their children to properties/pawn to help them get the upper hand in a parental dispute or childish game of power dynamics for their own selfish reasons? grin Why make their children live a lie that could stay with them forever for their own selfish reasons? This is immoral. Why deprive their children of fatherly love for their own selfish reasons? Why can't they leave their children out of their dispute with their father? Why can't these women have the maturity to admit to their wrongs? Some women even publicly smear the father's reputation with lies to fuel the narrative that mum is good, dad is bad. The worse is when some of the crazies among them murder or maltreat their children to get back at the father. grin



wink

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Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 2:09pm On Sep 03
You know this can be helpful to families(especially children) in resolving a lot of things and undue hatred towards their fathers. grin grin grin

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Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by CAPSLOCKED: 3:36pm On Sep 03
BRAVO, BROTHER. THE HEARTS OF THESE WOMEN, WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by CAPSLOCKED: 3:40pm On Sep 03
Martinez39:

lies to fuel the narrative that mum is good, dad is bad.

SADLY, THAT'S HOW MOST PEOPLE WERE RAISED TO SEE THEIR PARENTS.

THAT'S WHY YOU'LL FIND 50 MOTHER'S DAY CELEBRATIONS IN A YEAR, WHILE YOU HAVE JUST 1 CHILDREN'S DAY AND 1 DAD'S DAY.

THEY GUILT TRIP YOUNG ONES WHO THEN GROW INTO MATURED MEN WITH THE "I CARRIED YOU FOR A DIFFICULT 9 MONTHS", AS IF WE OWE THEM FOR WHAT NATURE BESTOWED UPON THEM.
AS IF THEY'RE THE ONLY SPECIES THAT BEAR KIDS. I DON'T THINK ELEPHANTS AND OTHER MAMMALS NAG ABOUT THAT SUBJECT LIKE HUMAN MOTHERS. IF MEN COULD GIVE BIRTH, WE WOULD DO IT EVERY TIME AND GET OVER IT WITH A BOTTLE OF BEER, WITHOUT SEEING ANY BIG DEAL IN THE SIMPLE THINGS OF LIFE.

A GIRL WHO DOESN'T RESPECT ANYBODY FEELS SHE HAS TO BE RESPECTED BECAUSE SHE'S A WOMAN, A POTENTIAL MOTHER OF MEN.

AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE CROCODILE TEARS TO ENFORCE THEIR WEAK IDEAS AND PRETEND THEY'RE BEING FRUSTRATED.
MEAN WHILE IT IS THEIR SYSTEM OF MANIPULATING EVERY LIVING THING ON EARTH.

101 Likes 9 Shares

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 3:42pm On Sep 03
CAPSLOCKED:
BRAVO, BROTHER. THE HEARTS OF THESE WOMEN, WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
Hopefully, many will start to ask questions about their "deadbeat" fathers. Seun and Co are fond of not taking good topics to front-page. The FSM will judge them. grin

7 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 3:44pm On Sep 03
CAPSLOCKED:


SADLY, THAT'S HOW MOST PEOPLE WERE RAISED TO SEE THEIR PARENTS.

THAT'S WHY YOU'LL FIND 50 MOTHER'S DAY CELEBRATION IN A YEAR, WHILE YOU HAVE JUST 1 CHILDREN'S DAY AND 1 DAD'S DAY.

AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE CROCODILE TEARS TO ENFORCE THEIR WEAK IDEAS AND PRETEND THEY'RE BEING FRUSTRATED.
MEAN WHILE IT IS THEIR SYSTEM OF MANIPULATING EVERY LIVING THING ON EARTH.
Exactly. Crocodile tears and sentiments. These are what society uses to tell us that mothers care more and what feminists use to lie that women are oppressed.

20 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by CAPSLOCKED: 3:49pm On Sep 03
Martinez39:
Exactly. Crocodile tears and sentiments. These are what society uses to tell us that mothers care more and what feminists use to lie that women are oppressed.

I HAVE SEEN WHAT CROCODILE TEARS AND FALSE EMOTIONS CAN DO TO AN UNSUSPECTING HUMAN MIND, SO I KNOW WHAT I SAY WHEN I SPEAK ABOUT IT.
NEVER BELIEVE ANYBODY WHO CRIES OVER EVERYTHING. THEY'RE THE HIGHEST OF THIEVES.

34 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by luminouz(m): 3:53pm On Sep 03
These two above me though!

*rolling my eyes*

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by CAPSLOCKED: 3:53pm On Sep 03
Martinez39:
Hopefully, many will start to ask questions about their "deadbeat" fathers. Seun and Co are fond of not taking good topics to front-page. The FSM will judge them. grin

JOKES APART YOU RAISED VALID POINTS IN THE TOPIC.
WHAT IF OUR TERRIBLE DADS ARE NOT AS TERRIBLE AS MOTHER PAINTED THEM TO BE?
WHAT IF RELIGION IS FAKE, AND THE GODS ARE NOT AS POWERFUL AS MOTHER TAUGHT US THEY ARE?

MOST PEOPLE TODAY PICKED UP MORE FROM THEIR MOTHERS THAN DADS WHILE GROWING UP. WHAT IF NOT ALL OF HER TEACHINGS WERE RIGHT?

32 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 3:57pm On Sep 03
CAPSLOCKED:


JOKES APART YOU RAISED VALID POINTS IN THE TOPIC.
WHAT IF OUR TERRIBLE DADS ARE NOT AS TERRIBLE AS MOTHER PAINTED THEM TO BE?
WHAT IF RELIGION IS FAKE, AND THE GODS ARE NOT AS POWERFUL AS MOTHER TAUGHT US THEY ARE?

MOST PEOPLE TODAY PICKED UP MORE FROM THEIR MOTHERS THAN DADS WHILE GROWING UP. WHAT IF NOT ALL OF HER TEACHINGS WERE RIGHT?
Don't mind my playfulness. The things I highlighted in my topic are actually happening and it's time for people to start asking the right questions. It's a very serious issue.

4 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by IamPlato(m): 3:59pm On Sep 03
Jesus! What Da Fvck Is Wrong With You? First Of All, my Mother Is Not Like This, secondly This Is A Secondary Issue... What You Are Saying Up There Is Not A Very Common Issue...


Maybe Thats How Your Mother Was To You, do Not Generalise It...

37 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by izzou(m): 4:01pm On Sep 03
Martinez39, did you experience all these?

2 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 4:02pm On Sep 03
IamPlato:
Jesus! What Da Fvck Is Wrong With You? First Of All, my Mother Is Not Like This, secondly This Is A Secondary Issue... What You Are Saying Up There Is Not A Very Common Issue...


Maybe Thats How Your Mother Was To You, do Not Generalise It...


One of the reasons why Nigeria is beyond progress is low IQ in it's citizens. Did you not see this in my op?
There are good and bad fathers and there are good and bad mothers.

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Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by IamPlato(m): 4:03pm On Sep 03
CAPSLOCKED:


JOKES APART YOU RAISED VALID POINTS IN THE TOPIC.
WHAT IF OUR TERRIBLE DADS ARE NOT AS TERRIBLE AS MOTHER PAINTED THEM TO BE?
WHAT IF RELIGION IS FAKE, AND THE GODS ARE NOT AS POWERFUL AS MOTHER TAUGHT US THEY ARE?

MOST PEOPLE TODAY PICKED UP MORE FROM THEIR MOTHERS THAN DADS WHILE GROWING UP. WHAT IF NOT ALL OF HER TEACHINGS WERE RIGHT?
Are You Dumb? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY WHAT IF?


At Least At 20 you Should Be Able To Know The Personalities Of Your parents And Identify The Smarter One, the Selfish One or The Wise One

16 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 4:03pm On Sep 03
izzou:
Martinez39, did you experience all these?
No. My mother is a real woman.

Ubunja's input is needed in a thread like this.

4 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by izzou(m): 4:04pm On Sep 03
Martinez39:
No.

So it was all assumed then.

That's okay

5 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 4:07pm On Sep 03
izzou:


So it was all assumed then.

That's okay
No. As I live, I observe. Many people don't observe because they have short attention span and are nonchalant. Learn to be observant and get some exposure. Good day. wink

10 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by IamPlato(m): 4:09pm On Sep 03
Martinez39:


One of the reasons why Nigeria is beyond progress is low IQ in it's citizens. Did you not see this in my op?
Your IQ is Very High But Wisdom Is What You Seriously Lack...


Why Make A Big Deal Out Of Something Like This? Some Young Folks Here Would Read This And Probably Start Seeing Their Mothers wrongly As Something Different out Of Trying To Be Smart

17 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by IamPlato(m): 4:13pm On Sep 03
Martinez39:
No. My mother is a real woman.

Ubunja's input is needed in a thread like this.
What Ubunja Said Is Far Different From What You Are Saying...

3 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 4:14pm On Sep 03
IamPlato:
Your IQ is Very High But Wisdom Is What You Seriously Lack...


Why Make A Big Deal Out Of Something Like This? Some Young Folks Here Would Read This And Probably Start Seeing Their Mothers wrongly As Something Different out Of Trying To Be Smart
I never said people should see their mother wrongly. I simply said people should start asking the appropriate questions and not assume without any evidence that their fathers are bad because their mothers told them so. You should read my post and comprehend properly. If only your mother breastfed and nourished you properly, your brain will not be like this.

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Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by izzou(m): 4:15pm On Sep 03
Martinez39:
No. As I live, I observe. Many people don't observe because they have short attention span and are nonchalant. Learn to be observant and get some exposure. Good day. wink

All what you wrote there are stuffs that can be experienced when living with people for years

Unless you were tossed around as a house help, it's difficult to observe that

It's all good though cool

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Fountainofyouth(f): 4:17pm On Sep 03
Deranged psych on display here.


Modified
I cannot believe this thread made front page, nairaland is filled with machismo chauvinistic sexist angry

15 Likes 1 Share

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Fountainofyouth(f): 4:17pm On Sep 03
izzou:


All what you wrote there are stuffs that can be experienced when living with people for years

Unless you were tossed around as a house help, it's difficult to observe that

It's all good though cool

Why are you trying to be diplomatic? Say things as it is undecided

2 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by IamPlato(m): 4:18pm On Sep 03
Martinez39:
I never said people should see their mother wrongly. I simply said people should start asking the appropriate questions and not assume without any evidence that their fathers are bad because their mother stold them so. You show read my post and comprehend properly. If only your mother breastfed and nourished you properly, your brain will not be like this.
You Don't Even Understand What I Am Saying...


Shebi your Mother Over Breastfed You Well, now Look At Where It Has Landed You

11 Likes 1 Share

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by izzou(m): 4:18pm On Sep 03
Fountainofyouth:


Why are you trying to be diplomatic? Say things as it is undecided

I'm learning to be diplomatic. grin

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 4:19pm On Sep 03
IamPlato:
What Ubunja Said Is Far Different From What You Are Saying...
I said Ubunja's input is needed. Nothing more, nothing less. He doesn't have to agree with me for his input to be needed. His input is needed because he is a wise and experienced guy not because he agrees with me. This is the last time I will respond to you. The bullcrap from you is too much. undecided

5 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Fountainofyouth(f): 4:19pm On Sep 03
izzou:


I'm learning to be diplomatic. grin


Because it is a male talking, imagine if it was a female....

5 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by izzou(m): 4:21pm On Sep 03
Fountainofyouth:



Because it is a male talking, imagine if it was a female....

Its not about gender.

Or did I applaud him even though he was/is male?

1 Like

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 4:21pm On Sep 03
izzou:


All what you wrote there are stuffs that can be experienced when living with people for years

Unless you were tossed around as a house help, it's difficult to observe that

It's all good though cool
No. I am simply a smart and observant guy. Many people are not observant and don't study their fellow human beings. Many have short attention span and are focused on work and entertainment. wink

8 Likes

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by Martinez39: 4:23pm On Sep 03
Fountainofyouth:



Because it is a male talking, imagine if it was a female....
Yimu. Since you know how not to be diplomatic, what are your objections or grievances with me? Be open enough to answer. grin
Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by IamPlato(m): 4:23pm On Sep 03
Martinez39:
I said Ubunja's input is needed. Nothing more, nothing less. He doesn't have to agree with me for his input to be needed. His input is needed because he is a wise and experienced guy not because he agrees with me. This is the last time I will respond to you. The bullcrap from you is too much. undecided
So After Your Whole probably Assumption Theory you Now Need Dr. Ubunja to Tell You If You Are Alright or Not.


Come Closer Let Me Remove Something From Your Brain..

20 Likes 1 Share

Re: Children Of "Deadbeat" Fathers. Time To Think. by virgoquin(f): 4:24pm On Sep 03
CAPSLOCKED:


JOKES APART YOU RAISED VALID POINTS IN THE TOPIC.
WHAT IF OUR TERRIBLE DADS ARE NOT AS TERRIBLE AS MOTHER PAINTED THEM TO BE?
WHAT IF RELIGION IS FAKE, AND THE GODS ARE NOT AS POWERFUL AS MOTHER TAUGHT US THEY ARE?

MOST PEOPLE TODAY PICKED UP MORE FROM THEIR MOTHERS THAN DADS WHILE GROWING UP. WHAT IF NOT ALL OF HER TEACHINGS WERE RIGHT?
This one will just be looking for any opportunity to throw shade at Religion.

18 Likes 1 Share

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