₦airaland Forum

Sukueponmalu:
Stfu

You shut up I can bet you hit women that is why you think apologizing changes the fact......he should be charged for assault and bodily harm she should get an AVO against him. ......he should pay child support and get out

Wisdom, women of this age are just something else. You will forgive them for one million wrongs but just your single wrong they won't hesitate to get things dirty. I will advise the op to look into your advise.

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

You should never hit a woman no matter how much she ran her mouth and on top of that a woman with your baby ....haba naaaaau! Its not as if going out with your friends is an issue but did you tell her you will be coming back late? Maybe she was worried about your absence. Don't forget also, she's young and need to socialize like her mates currently do ....ask yourself when was the last time she went out to flex with her friends or with you?

Since this was the first time you slapped her, it showed that you probably must have been under the influence of alcohol Which is why she ran in and locked the door. You may think your 7 months old girl will not notice anything but you're wrong ....kids learn quite early and violence in their life at such a tender age is totally uncalled for.

Note also that we ladies from the age of 23-30 years ...our head de hot and we like to flex so don't try to tie us down while you're out there flexing with your friends without us in the tow.

My suggestion to you and others alike .....take over the job of babysitting for a whole day and allow her to go flex, trust me, she will love you like die. You can also get a trusted family friend or neighbour to help babysit for a day while you and your wife go flexing.

Also, go and buy the best ankara + wine + bag of rice + oil and take to your mother in-law in apology to what happened. For your wife, buy her best item and take along there to apologize. For the brother, you might wish to buy him a lovely gadget. All the best

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

emeijeh:
Your wife went too far for calling her people (after your very first slap)
What happened to the "no third party interference" sermon on your wedding day?

But Op, are you sure you have not hit or beaten her before that day?

Just keep apologizing.
She has to come back.

I disagree. Her family is the only police she has in life. They are the ones that will be there when all fails. Domestic violence has claimed many lives cause of the so called "no 3rd party interference". We should encourage affected people to speak to someone they trust.

If I see blood on my sister, I will kill the perpetrator. EOD.

xendra:
SMH

2am? when it's not business?
she sabi shout, person like me wey no fit shout I no go open door atall. you wee sleep there.

anyway give it time and go back to begging her she would have calmed down and thought about her life, she will come back. unless she is convinced living without you is what's best for her.

So everybody out late at night is doing business or they are irresponsible? Weh don. From his submission, this seems like the very first time which is even strange because a lot of people hang out to late steady and their wives don't scream. She got used to his early return and is just taking the piss. My bro in law even stays till morning occasionally and my sis just laughs it off that he won't eat that day. It's understanding. Coming home early proves nothing. You can even be the worst partner and u would be home by 5pm daily. She needs to adjust to reality and stop acting spoilt.

In as much as you are wrong, in the first instance, your in law made the whole scenario more worrisome. How could they have led her to pack out of the house. Totally, your In-laws go from hero to zero

[s]

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

[/s]

daddytime:
No matter wetin you do brother, this marriage na manage e no go last. Sorry, but this is the honest truth.

A precedent has been set, so, at the slightest provocation, your in law's will March down to move their pikin.

Get smart...

If na me, na dem go beg me to come carry my wife back....

How old is this wife by the way?

you be my type of person finally na dem go beg for me to come carry their pikin back in fact they will bring her back themselves because at first I didn't send her packing

They mother in-law didn't act matured or maybe this isn't the first time he's hitting her but if it was the first time the mama no try

Op don't plead again just leave them to their decision dem go tire las las

I can't kill myself is the safest and surest style of life

xendra:
I'm not surprised to see men saying she should have kept this within the family. na from clap dem dey enter dance. a man that can come home 2am and slap the wife that same night deserves no sympathy. na so she go keep quiet till it gets worse and he kills her.

naija men, Una try o

When woman no trust man she marry na when kasala dey burst. This is a case of two immature partners not having a handle on their first fight.

But bros, you sure say no be blow you tear her say na slap?

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

Use your imagination, and imagine you have the best wife. Be happy in what you've done and see the miracle happen.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Ur dumbness amuses me!!!
Pray u marry a man dat will even be humble enough to apologise.
I came back to my house by 2am nd one nonsense person is yelling at me. Nt dat i went to cheat or...

Mr wife beater... well done o.

But on the flip side.. you no get better inlaw o.

Good riddance to bad rubbish jo. ( anyway if she comes back becareful next time)

Be an examplary man and always make her proud.


I don't understand where you guys see all this women that nags o honestly.

If you nag.. you go just kill yourself at the end. If i come back 2am at some point... if you lock the door i will go get hotel.

I remember driving late sometimes.. my wife will call and advise me to get a hotel and sleep instead of driving late.

Tell me .. will cheating be the next thing on my mind?

Person we go cheat go cheat... everyone should respect their adulthood abeg.

omo, are there people enjoying marriage like this cause me don tire for bad news o

you are wrong big time by returned home 2am left your wife and 7month old baby with her and you want her to kept quiet .. if she kept quiet and welcome you home she is bad wife and you will graduate to spend weekend with friends outside your home. i see her as someone that care about your life... now raises your hand on her is not welcome on this scenario.. your solution is simple... get some of your relative to visit the parent as you promise not to repeat same again .. i stand against domestic violent

The apology is okay. If you continue to apologize you'll regret it when she finally comes back.

She still dey learn.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

And u think her brother slapping him will solve the issue. This is the exact reason I always advice friend, once u marry and ur wife family live in same state with u, look for transfer and move to a new state.... Girls of this generation can't solve their problem without involving their family.

Now that she has moved back to her parents, what's next, if the guy refuse to beg and ignore them, what will they do?

Two wrongs can't make a right, what has happened has happened, we can't undo it, I expect the mother in law to do better than taking her daughter away.... U can sit the young man down and talk serious sense into his head that packing ur daughter away like that will solve the issue

Dupalmer:
In as much as I don't support domestic violence, your effort at apologizing and sincerely promising not to repeat it is more than enough to make you guys come back to normal if she's a reasonable woman.
don't call or beg her anymore else she will see a good stance to manipulate your sorry ass forever.
She will come back in a matter of days if you ignore her but if she doesn't, find a way to make yourself happy. You can't kill yourself over a trouble she ignited. She will loose if she tries to make it a hard or competitive game.

There are many ladies young and old with very good character that will be willing to marry as second, third and even fourth wife.

Trust me, he's hit her before and severally

etrange:
I disagree. Her family is the only police she has in life. They are the ones that will be there when all fails. Domestic violence has claimed many lives cause of the so called "no 3rd party interference". We should encourage affected people to speak to someone they trust.

If I see blood on my sister, I will kill the perpetrator. EOD.

And packing out of the house is the solution?

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

Hitting a woman is unacceptable. You could have ignored your wife but you chose to hit her. You must learn to manage your woman instead of turning her into a punch bag.

There are many ways of punishing your wife without physically hitting her.

If she were my sister, I'll warn you severely and brutalized you on the second attempt.

etrange:
I disagree. Her family is the only police she has in life. They are the ones that will be there when all fails. Domestic violence has claimed many lives cause of the so called "no 3rd party interference". We should encourage affected people to speak to someone they trust.

If I see blood on my sister, I will kill the perpetrator. EOD.

I am happy we have sane people like you

Its really unfortunate what happened. I believe that domestic violence must never be tolerated and I understand what your wife is going through. No woman would want to be in a narriage of abuse; I would advise you just send her a text today but dont call. Give her time to process what happened. I also think you should call the brother and explain yourself. I really hope it all works out for you.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Well said....the brother should have fixed him up. Na so Dem dey take women for granted.

Only mad people hit their wives.

In marriage they are three stones use for cooking by our elders, this stone are LOVE,TRUST and PRAYER. she might get you upset and push you to he wall but at that time you should avoid her completely and sleep that night but dawn the following day you can call her and make her understand things that have taking place yesterday tell her reason you came back later. i am sorry is a big statement.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

This what you saying from you ill gutted mouth
I pity u

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

You gon' make the worst wife in the history of mankind

My friend tell us the whole truth. I'm sure she wouldn't react that much if it was your first time keeping late nights. Already beating a wife whose barely two years with you in your bored home now you're complaining about her family intervention. You're lucky they did not return your cheap dowry and take their daughter home before you blind her innocent eyes with backslaps instead of staying at home giving her backshots

Bigii:
Post from Dec, 2015 made front page today being Dec, 2019. 4years later.




O'Lord, please remember my case this year. No matter how long I have waited, I still believe you can do it.

Nigeria youth, it's December 15th, not December 2015.....

oyoolima:
Oga you said you "took" the back of your hand and gave her a slap.

This hand must be made of iron to cause instant bleeding. Tomorrow you may "take" the front of your hand and now beat her proper.
No wonder the woman ran for her life.

Coming back at 2am is not ideal for someone that is married with a family.

I do not know what throwing hands means.
If she is shouting and you cannot take it shout hard too ,let your voice be louder so you both enjoy the madness together.

Or tell her you will not engage in conversation if she's screaming then lock yourself in the room till she's calm.

This apology you're giving now,if you had put this much effort into saying sorry for coming back this late,your hand would not have located her mouth.

Now the whole family knows you have twitchy hands.How will you now meet their eyes without shame. Budding wife beater is your new nickname.

Your marriage is still new,you both need to learn to resolve conflict in a less hostile manner.

A whole 33 year old man,5 years you used to senior your wife and you cannot manage your home.

Better go and watch war room.

*Your wife did well to invite outside forces since you slapped her hard enough to cause bleeding, it is also likely you would have slapped her again or even hit her if she had kept quiet about it(in your mind,you would start seeing it as the quickest way to keep her quiet),so my brother from now on, if something happens to her the whole world already have small insight into who dunnit.*

back hand is more closer to the bone that front hand, hence the bleeding! It seem you haven’t received a back hand slap before??