₦airaland Forum

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

Oga tell us the full story.. No woman would be so aggrevied about a late night .. Excepting you where non chalant about it.
Heck she is your wife she is bound to be worried about your well being.. Where you in contact with her during the period of your long stay out? Plus what sought of married man parties to past midnight...
You ought to be most apologetic to say the least...
Women deserved to be understood and treated with understanding...

Tell us the truth! your wife suspects you cheat?or maybe you are irresponsible towards your home?

No woman piles up hate like that.. And from your motherinlaw actions ... Its obvious that you have been messing up really bad... For the woman not to ask you what happened, brother you truly haven't told us the full story... You painted your self as an easy going guy who went to a friends party, came home and was almost nagged to death by his wife... And to survive her verbal assault on your life, you had to defend your life with a slap...
Your story is incomplete..

BRATISLAVA:
Anyone who commits a crime will face the law. There is no partner in assault. It is a lie that partners assault themselves unintentionally. It is not an accident, so it cannot be overlooked. I will not hit a partner and if I am hit, they will face the law. That is assault.

Ah God I wished I could Continue this Conversation with you but it’s not my Relationship neither yours Ma’am I rest my case yet I don’t understand this nairaland person no fit Send DMs ? �

victorian:
Cmon! What do u think I'm doing? I'm looking for someone to shut my mouth up!
Some men can leave home at that moment and drive off with their car. While some who do not have anywhere to go but are determined to Stay home, will either bang the door at my face, as I keep howling at his back? Or give me a dirty slap to keep me shut!
And unfortunately he gave his wife a hard slap that brough blood oozing from her lips.
She simply. Asked for it!

So babe! I don't accept such nagging and hounding a man as if he's a kid.

Forget nairaland men, I honestly don't!

Lol thank you ooo...we can all keep quoting laws and fairytales but at the end we will still face the guys we are married to so better be realistic and recognise your boundary

A 28 year old woman doesn't understand what the words " Leave me alone " mean and still called her family to come and shout at the guy in his house yet she is somehow totally innocent because of moderate beating that she provoked.

If you agree to work in any Nigerian election, you may come back unscathed, you may be seriously injured or you may die there.

If you harangue somebody who just came in you may be ignored, be left in the house alone, be slapped or beaten.

That's not to say that anybody has the right to kill an INEC official but why did you go there!

That's not to say that anybody has the right to beat their wife but why didn't you close your mouth!

There is no point in being sentimental about it, both of them were wrong

victorian:
My dear, I'm thinking with my brain. And the least I will do is follow nairaland men to spew rubbish.
I'm looking at it this way, my husband comes home late around 2am. I asked him where is he coming from? He mumbled some words and said walked away from me, to the bedroom. I dragged him back and started nagging, how can u come home this late? U don't even consider your life. And u call your self a married man!
He still walks away from the bedroom, headed to the sitting room, I followed him again. , and he kept mumbling that it's OK, he has heard and I still kept on talking to him like he's a kid!

Cmon! What do u think I'm doing? I'm looking for someone to shut my mouth up!
Some men can leave home at that moment and drive off with their car. While some who do not have anywhere to go but are determined to Stay home, will either bang the door at my face, as I keep howling at his back? Or give me a dirty slap to keep me shut!
And unfortunately he gave his wife a hard slap that brough blood oozing from her lips.
She simply. Asked for it!


A sharp mouthed girl came to look for my trouble at home. You know what I did? As she was about sharpening her mouth I slammed the door on her face! And locked it. She kept screaming and shouting at the hallway. I would have hit her with something just to keep her mouth shut and listen to reason but on second thought, She may collapse and faint or even die on me. So I simply slammed the door on her face!
I don't have patience for such sharp mouth and talking down on me, even as lady. How much more as a man!

My brother when he was alive, his girlfriend used to talk down on him, so I thought. One day I came home abit early and heard her talking and nagging non stop. I was like WTF! And her voice was so loud. Mehn, my head turn, I walked to his room, knocked entered and asked him, is everything OK? He said hmm yes. The way I looked at his gf ehn? She sef know say she pass her boundary.
She then left immediately. I was like, how can u allow a woman raise her voice on you? U are there quiet mumbling? Are u this weak! Mehn that's not a woman o! That's a dragon! The earlier u cut off from such girl, the better for you. If not that I respect u as my younger brother, I would have insulted her and warned her never to try such again at you. U don't nag or scream at me! For what? Assuming I'm the husband or following me up and down breathing down my neck! I won't take it lightly.

He didn't listen to me, las las her nagging and wahala pushed him to his grave.

So babe! I don't accept such nagging and hounding a man as if he's a kid.

Forget nairaland men, I honestly don't!

Now i understand where you are coming from. I lost a brother to death too cause of a bad wife.

I'm sorry about your brother. Hmmm!

kennylesy122:
Ah God I wished I could Continue this Conversation with you but it’s not my Relationship neither yours Ma’am I rest my case yet I don’t understand this nairaland person no fit Send DMs ? �

ok my dear

D1zion:
mmm mmm you're wrong. At least I believe he told her were he was going before he left the house not that she stopped him.it was an office party.


Yes,really he came back late which is not good, but when he'd come back he apologized to her,meaning he knew he was wrong to have stayed late.


As a reasonable woman.she should have accepted his apologies the tell him not to repeat it again except if he's in the habit of going out & coming back late before that incident.


He apologized to her,she refused & was raining insults on him.he respected himself & left the room she followed him definitely no matter how calm & patient you're you must loose it.I believed she said something that provoked him to make him loose it to hit her.


Calling her mother into her matrimonial problems is not a good one.if he's never done that before, he humbled himself,he was remorse over what he did.yet she refuced & allowed her mother & brother to take her home.mmm mmm mba nu nu.


As a reasonable mother & grandmother, the mother never acted like one.she should have call the husband to order & advice him & tell him that should be the last time.give them advice that will make things work BTW them not to just come & whisked the girl away.sheybe the brother go marry too?

I think you have a point. I just felt bad where he had to slap her on top of the offence and she had to bleed.

BRATISLAVA:
ok my dear

Yep I Surrendered ���
But seriously Is there Any kind of DMs on NL ��

emonis88:
Guy, if I get the money, I go buy brewery say make them just dey supply u anytime u want. U be man.

kennylesy122:
Yep I Surrendered ���
But seriously Is there Any kind of DMs on NL ��

I don't know. And I doubt there's such.

midnighter:
Lol thank you ooo...we can all keep quoting laws and fairytales but at the end we will still face the guys we are married to so better be realistic and recognise your boundary

A 28 year old woman doesn't understand what the words " Leave me alone " mean and still called her family to come and shout at the guy in his house yet she is somehow totally innocent because of moderate beating that she provoked.

If you agree to work in any Nigerian election, you may come back unscathed, you may be seriously injured or you may die there.

If you harangue somebody who just came in you may be ignored, be left in the house alone, be slapped or beaten.

That's not to say that anybody has the right to kill an INEC official but why did you go there!

That's not to say that anybody has the right to beat their wife but why didn't you close your mouth!

There is no point in being sentimental about it, both of them were wrong

I didn't say the guy was right.
They were both wrong but she was asking for it. And the guy later begged all night. What else again does she want?

For him to be on his kneels and be begging forever? Cmon!

victorian:
My dear, I'm thinking with my brain. And the least I will do is follow nairaland men to spew rubbish.
I'm looking at it this way, my husband comes home late around 2am. I asked him where is he coming from? He mumbled some words and said walked away from me, to the bedroom. I dragged him back and started nagging, how can u come home this late? U don't even consider your life. And u call your self a married man!
He still walks away from the bedroom, headed to the sitting room, I followed him again. , and he kept mumbling that it's OK, he has heard and I still kept on talking to him like he's a kid!

Cmon! What do u think I'm doing? I'm looking for someone to shut my mouth up!
Some men can leave home at that moment and drive off with their car. While some who do not have anywhere to go but are determined to Stay home, will either bang the door at my face, as I keep howling at his back? Or give me a dirty slap to keep me shut!
And unfortunately he gave his wife a hard slap that brough blood oozing from her lips.
She simply. Asked for it!


A sharp mouthed girl came to look for my trouble at home. You know what I did? As she was about sharpening her mouth I slammed the door on her face! And locked it. She kept screaming and shouting at the hallway. I would have hit her with something just to keep her mouth shut and listen to reason but on second thought, She may collapse and faint or even die on me. So I simply slammed the door on her face!
I don't have patience for such sharp mouth and talking down on me, even as lady. How much more as a man!

My brother when he was alive, his girlfriend used to talk down on him, so I thought. One day I came home abit early and heard her talking and nagging non stop. I was like WTF! And her voice was so loud. Mehn, my head turn, I walked to his room, knocked entered and asked him, is everything OK? He said hmm yes. The way I looked at his gf ehn? She sef know say she pass her boundary.
She then left immediately. I was like, how can u allow a woman raise her voice on you? U are there quiet mumbling? Are u this weak! Mehn that's not a woman o! That's a dragon! The earlier u cut off from such girl, the better for you. If not that I respect u as my younger brother, I would have insulted her and warned her never to try such again at you. U don't nag or scream at me! For what? Assuming I'm the husband or following me up and down breathing down my neck! I won't take it lightly.

He didn't listen to me, las las her nagging and wahala pushed him to his grave.

So babe! I don't accept such nagging and hounding a man as if he's a kid.

Forget nairaland men, I honestly don't!

Here is an honest sensible woman that truly understand how things work.

I twale for you
Your brain too much

ugofulfilled:
Really? Is this the best you can think? well I wasn't disappointed.

let's assume you're the wife in the above narrative, you will feel defended and happy seeing your brother slap your HUSBAND?

with this hand, we shall read about your home someday on this forum.

Don't mind her jare, may be she is still single. Our young fold don't really understand what marriage is. There are some men that will be so humiliated by just the response of the mother in-law, such that their relationship will be irreversibly incompatible even after the whole fight has been settled. The wife is from a troublesome family.

BRATISLAVA:
I don't know. And I doubt there's such.

oop So nothing is Private here ?? ,,,,,Ayiiiiiii
I would av ask We could chat Privatly do u give Ur contact to a total Stranger ??

I don’t like to pass my boundaries but would still like to know u better

Ogegod87:
Now i understand where you are coming from. I lost a brother to death too cause of a bad wife.

I'm sorry about your brother. Hmmm!

And do u know our mom didn't like the girl one bit.

One night my mom woke up from her sleep, went to my brother's room banged the door so hard, my brother opened with the girl by his side.
She pounced on her that she should leave our house that minute and she's a viper in the spirit world and she had better leave her son alone. My mum went berserk that night, I had to calm her down and also tell my brother to take her out of the house. My moms eyes were on fire, screaming she's a snake! U think u can kill my son! U won't succeed.
She later calmed down when she left.
My brother kept away from the girl afterwards. But immediately my mum died, he went back to her and that's when I came back from. Work one day hearing her shouting at him and he was just quiet.
I was like what!
Who the hell is that person shouting like that! Lo and behold same girl!
The way I looked at her she left. I called my brother Uv brought her back again? And see how she's talking to u! Oh my God!
Warn her, if her hear her shout at u again? She will be shocked what I will do to her. Mama own sef will even be small compared to mine. As u cant stand for yourself and drive her away for good.
Las las she pushed him to do the unthinkable and he collapsed and died.

Mehn! I hate nagging

If you want to talk to me to see reason? Talk like a normal human being, calmly with sense. Don't nag at me cos I won't take it!
It drives me nuts!


So sorry about your brother as well.

LilMissFavvy:
How would you have felt if it was your wife who hanged out with her friends and came back by 2am? Any married man or woman who does things without considering the other partner is immature or simply wicked. Your wife's brother should have slapped you back, or is he a weak man? He should have slapped you ensuring that you bleed from your mouth and nose. As for your wife, continue to call her, send messages, give her more time, she will heal and return to you. It's very shameful that her brother was there and did not defend her, by slapping the st-pi---y outta your brains.

Do you think when you talk?
What do you know about marriage?

BRATISLAVA:
does shouting, screaming or yelling(not physical) equate to slapping/punching and drawing blood(physical violence)? In your haste to justify domestic violence, don't forget to use proper situations that are similar.

In your haste to appear a genius, it eluded you so embarrassingly that the idea was never to equate similar situations, but instead to level the playing field and prevent against future occurrences brought on by cause & effect.

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

If all your story is true. U have done what is expected by apologizing to her. For now let her be.

When her brain is reset, they will all come back for reconciliation.

1. Your story was incomplete..


2. If u were in good terms, as u have painted, and just a slap will make her leave with ur child...
That means u must have beating her before or u are used to hurting her feelings with ur barbaric attitude..

Ladycewhy:
Have you heard of the term "blood boil"?that is a rush and its called adrenaline and it can become consistent with pattern of behavior.


I strongly disagree, so let me rephrase your comment "any one can get angry but not everyone reacts violently".

Lets even the steps that led to the back hand slap.

The op went out, it was getting late, a responsible man who is not in the habit of staying out late will definitely inform his wife about the development, i am sure they both have phones, i am assuming he should have called to let his wife know he will be staying out that late ,atleast if it were me i am sure i will be worried sick about my husband and be checking in every 30mins cos i personally hate staying out late, too many dangers lurking in the dark. If this aspect was sorted i doubt she will be that upset ,infact na gist for follow .


Now he came home ,she was upset,yes i know it can be difficult to calm a situation like that down,but instead of addressing it he decided to ignore ,wishing it will go away, when he saw it didn't work out he decided to use physical assualt.


This is the pattern i am concern about,that op ignored and switched to physical assault, until he learns to stop ignoring issues and seek for solutions before he looses his temper this pattern will continue.

Your comment shows there are still sane people in Nigeria.
I've also observed from the majority of comments made by people that a lot of us grew up in a dysfunctional family, where hitting a woman is considered normal.
In fact, battaring a wife shows off the man as strong and disciplined. On the reverse side of things, these same men wouldn't stand a man maltreat their daughter, that's if they finally get married properly.
A generation of baby mamas and baby daddies.

BRATISLAVA:
if someone hit you and injured you in an act of violence, would you accept their apology because they deserve to be forgiven or get them arrested for assault? You're acting like a man raising his hand on his wife is his right, so if he apologizes she must accept. You've failed to call it what it is. It is criminal force and a violent assault. No matter the provocation, if you meet such a person outdoors you wouldn't try hitting them because you would end up in jail. So why do it at home and feel like it is your right to use force on another person? You guys can't understand crime. You've made it marital sentiment and believe that women must take physical abuse while men cannot stand it. Imagine if each time as a man you say something another person doesn't like and they beat you up for it, later claiming it was your nagging fault and an accident. Isn't that madness?

You make a lot of assumptions which I never implied. My position is that one has the right to beat another. And in addition, no one has the right to expect another to debase himself before her.

maryjames9:
Mr Mike Tyson. How many slaps you dey give your own wife and sisters and mother? You sounded like you are very experienced at beating up women. Bravo Hulk Hugan.

Abeg oo, Hulk Hugan is a gentleman. He's not a woman beater.

emeijeh:
Your wife went too far for calling her people (after your very first slap)
What happened to the "no third party interference" sermon on your wedding day?

But Op, are you sure you have not hit or beaten her before that day?

Just keep apologizing.
She has to come back.

from one hit, he will migrate to full blown beating. next time if she eventually forgives him, he will learn never to raise his hands on her.

Maybe am strange but I see nothing wrong in a man going out with his friends once in a while and coming back at 2am, if you have a close relationship and you trust him what's the big deal? Men love their freedom and sometimes we should respect that.

kayfx2:
Now i just like intellectually sound people like this.A bottle of cold Heineken for you..I believe strongly in marriage honestly ..But, I see comments from some girls here! and i am like ha ha !! that's the reason most guys are scared to get married nowadays..If 9 out of 10 thinks like this...Then lets just live with it or just be single forever.Marriage is not by force. For me personally,I have zero tolerance for violent people either physically or emotionally.. I can't even marry a woman that is too confrontational,yell or nag...Hell No, you are not gon turn me to what i am not...I have a family member i grew up with..He is such a mild person and i have never known him to be violent in any way for the 20 years we have been friends together..Guess what!! My guy slap the wife on top nag oh ! His story is quite similar to this ...God help us ..

This is me 100%.

A woman who shouts and screams is NEVER to be found around me.

Osyxcel:
As much as you did wrong for hitting your wife, if it's truly the first time something of such ever happened and you've never maltreated her before, then she went overboard reporting to her family members and packing her things out.

Just contact her and apologize with a promise such won't happen again. It may take her time to heal. Let her heal.

People that constantly beat their wives, it also started as a first time. Besides, some women have 0 tolerance for physical abuse and would react quick and even seemingly over the top. It could be to make sure he thinks twice before he allows the devil enter him again.

I suggest u keep apologizing to her and the family, no one is above mistake.

Ekene161829:
I did something I really regret. My wife and I have an amazing marriage, 2 years of marriage and we are blessed with a 7-month-old baby girl.

She is 28 and I almost 33. Last Saturday I got invited to go out by some of my work friends , I got home late 2am, so madam wasn't happy. She was yelling at me, throwing hands and screaming at me. I ignored her and left the room to the living room but she followed me and I asked her to leave me alone but she kept going which made me angry.

I took the back of my hand and gave her a slap on the mouth. She cried out and held her face and started crying and her lips was bleeding. I didn't intentionally hurt her, I just wanted to calm her down since ignoring her was not working. I said sorry, and I was literally on my knees begging her. I tried to hold her but she refused.
The rest of the night was me repeating apology or i didn't mean to hurt you. She ignored me . She went into our room and locked the door.

She was in there for a long time and the next morning, her mother and older brother was at the house and she came out of the room with her and our baby stuff and she said she was leaving me for good. I told her how sorry I was but her mother told me to get out of their faces and they left the house.

I feel so ashamed and I've never done anything like this before and I never thought I would. I don't want to loose my wife and baby. I need both of them back. Should I attempt to contact her?

What do I do?

fatymore:
I.know you are laughing your head off...


Bye joor

I was actually. Good thing you could sense the comical nature of your responses.

niaralandtopuser:
I hardly go out in the night but there are times you just run into an old friend and before you know it 11pm already.

If I were the op, I will give her a little space for her to calm down and think things through then try to contact her again to work things out.
a real wife beater will not care about apologising immediately after hitting you

that a big lie, how do you think people develop stockholm syndrome? A real wife beater will always feel remorse and promise never to do it again ,that is how they sunstain the circle of abuse . let be clear on that.


As for your solution, you think now that parents are involved ,she will come back just like that?

bnovative:
Your comment shows there are still sane people in Nigeria.
I've also observed from the majority of comments made by people that a lot of us grew up in a dysfunctional family, where hitting a woman is considered normal.
In fact, battaring a wife shows off the man as strong and disciplined. On the reverse side of things, these same men wouldn't stand a man maltreat their daughter, that's if they finally get married properly.
A generation of baby mamas and baby daddies.

you are right,cos alot of Nigerians see sufferhead as being strong and assualt as being disciplined. Smh

havilla:
Maybe am strange but I see nothing wrong in a man going out with his friends once in a while and coming back at 2am, if you have a close relationship and you trust him what's the big deal? Men love their freedom and sometimes we should respect that.

You go out with your boys, I go out with my girls, baby stays with grandma. Nobody will come and kill my shine.
If she had gone out partying as well, she won't be screaming her lungs off because the man went out. Coming home late would have been a smaller issue.

ogawisdom:
In laws are already involved

She won't come back until you go to their place with your father and mother to apologize to your in laws and assure them that their daughter is safe at your place.

This has gone beyond begging the girl alone, she can't even come until her family says so.

Pls go with drinks hot, wine, two cartons of malt and beer

I am sure this can't be the first time you are having a serious issue and your in laws knows everything going on

God forbid. Make dem kuku carry their daughter go.

Gentle man don suffer for this life. Not me.

Plead:
Y’all better stop mentioning me

You go hear am today.