₦airaland Forum

Hizzy:
Forget this
She might be de first to raise hands on him
It has happened to me b4
A girl slapped me three time the fourth one I decided to squeeze her hands I ended up dislocating her hands and de hole story changed
Now the question is can you endure three times slap
The man was provoked

That is why I said there are two sides to a story.We have not heard from the accused so it's possible she fustrated him.

The best advise always comes in few words.
I am a marriage counselor and I can tell you this, what you have experienced is just a dress rehearsal for what you might experience in marriage and you may lose your life. Have you checked your BP recently?
So my candid advice is quit the relationship as there's someone out there meant for you not this bully.
Secondly, next time don't talk about your past especially if it has nothing to do with the present. Not all men are matured to handle it.
I pray your will becomes stronger to do what is right because no one deserves to be treated like trash.

Sorry o, but you are a fool. Must we two you that you need to leave.?

bukatyne:
What is your definition of love?

The question is do you love yourself?

She doesn't

When you say "he loves me to a fault", you are very wrong. I want to make my point from there. No matter how provoked I am, I have never ever been tempted to lay my hands on a girl or lady. That will become part of me till I marry. Someone who truly loves you can never embarrass, knock or abuse your family member for whatever reason.
I am sure your definition of 'loving you to a fault' emanates from the fact that he provides materially and otherwise for you. That's no true love. He must also consider your feelings first and never do something that would hurt you emotionally.
As far he's yet to pay your bride price, he has no right to check your phone. And you too, have to reduce the way you mingle freely with the opposite sex if that's what gets him even. You have to respect that. But then, it's too late to heed this advice from me since he has already shown his full character to you.
Marriage doesn't end in the Ceremony. It's for a lifetime. Would you love to be a punch-bag? Would you love to be humiliated for the little mistake you make?
Myles Monroe once said "You will never change anything (anyone) that you are willing to tolerate". Dont feel that he would change, if you are willing to endure him ike that, fine. If not, quit before it's too late.

Pwhitelaw:
That is why I said there are two sides to a story.We have not heard from the accused so it's possible she fustrated him.

A man that is frustrated to do all this is not a man.

How i wish that man go come tell his own story make we judge both of you.one story is always one sided

Run for your life now

bigpicture001:
You condemed d man very well..but didbt condemn her for cheating

Did she cheat?


Kindly quote where she wrote that so I can read up.

I was going to say you are a fool but I quickly realized that we're all fools. Yeah, fools in the scheme of life.

If your post truly presented what you're experiencing, then, you must be a good business woman; they are risk takers.

If you must thread that path, you can't escape it. Why? Because asking people for their opinion in a situation where you can see with your eyes, and feel with your senses the impending pains- is a clear sign that you aren't in charge of your life.

Live well and learn your lessons without bitterness. Remember, we live to learn and love.

NB
When I say love, I am not talking about that which you mentioned in you post or the one that evaporated after series of sex.

Judging by what u said, what i will advice is.
If you love you life, don't ever make the mistake of getting married to that man. God has shown you enough warning signals and red � flag,


Don't say you were not warned, leave now before its late, don't listen to what people has to say, its your life and you are the one that will be in that marriage



DONT LET THAT MAN KILL YOU

Husband is scarce, Sis. Patience is all you need ooo
Inukwa ita okpo n'isi
I have forgotten there was a thing like that. Ita okpo . And you sat all through the knocks
Be wearing helmet ooo. Husband is scarce. Imagine knocks on someone's head. What a crude ish
We know you won't leave him. Enjoy your marriage

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

Which tribe are you from

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

from what you typed, I feel the guy loves you he just doesn't know how to show it enough and he also don't want competition or loss you to another man which is a big sign of insecurity.
what type of friends does he keep, he is learning alot from outside. He doesn't know how to handle a woman but I am sure he loves you.
you don't need to sit him down and talk to him because he won't take u seriously, i was once possessive of my ex once

dannyla:
I opened a new account to remain anonymous.
This story is a bit long but pls bear with me.

I met this man almost 2yrs ago at an event a friend invited me to. The next week, he collected my number from my friend and called me, we began talking from there and agreed to go on a date. He proposed marriage to me on the first date which I rejected. I told him that I can't marry outside my church and from the little I've heard from him, our life dreams differ. I decided to cut him off from that day and I stayed away for about 3months. Meanwhile he got my friend to introduce him to my sis, mum and another friend who happened to be from his place, I'll call her Grace.
He made them all aware of his intent towards me and my stand and asked for their help to change my mind. Grace became his biggest ally and convinced me to have another date. He asked that we date for a while and see if we can work out our differences. During the date I noticed he has a very hot and quick temper and he listens to gossip a lot so I do tell Gracethat I don't see a future with him but he was too persistent, Grace always had words of encouragement and considering the fact that for some strange reason, it was mainly married men always approach me for a relationship with stories of how they got married to a wrong woman and they are or are almost divorced, dating a single man with no kids was very tempting and I decided to give it a try.

He asked me to tell him everything about me so there are no secrets between us and I did. Starting from secondary school to that day, I told him everything, from my first kiss, the colleague who tried to rape me, my ex who lied about his marital status and disvirgined me etc. he did the same too and I felt a burden roll off my shoulder.

Few days later I began to notice changes in him especially towards my business. I thrive in a male dominated industry in a ratio of 9men to 1woman. He asked me to show him the pictures of my colleagues which I did, he also asked if they make passes at me which I said is almost inevitable but my boundaries are clear and rigid.

Fast forward to now. I noticed that whenever I drop my phone, he goes through it. Facebook, sms, WhatsApp etc. He even picks my call when I'm not close to the phone. He asked me about a certain colleague who cracks dirty jokes like how I rushed to get married (I told him I'm already married). I didn't think much about it.

He later began to complain about my partners and how I'm sleeping with them like the prostitute I am, called me an unrepentant liar, unsubmisive, manipulating etc. Said he regrets asking for my hand at all and he's just waiting forthe day he'll catch me redhanded so he can dump my sorry a*s.
I told him to end it now cus I'm fed up, family came in and I later found out that Grace has been telling a lot of lies against hoping to get him for herself as well as hate filled advises from some aggrieved friends who felt ladies from my tribe are no good and just there to "chop money". Apologies were said and received and we continued.

Another time I visited him and we had an argument, he gave me several heavy knocks on my head and I developed a headache and began to insult him which resultedin more heavy knocks. I broke up with him and left. Later my mum called him to ask why he laid his hands on me, he denied it swearing with his life. Said I insulted him and he lost his temper and insulted me back that he's sorry. He began to drop messages everywhere and I eventually gave in.

3rd incident happened on our way back from an event. He saw a message from a colleague he told me to stop doing business with cus he feels the man has his eyes on me which is totally not true. He flared up, stopped the car and was even threatening to beat me up. I came down from his car and stood by the roadside. He came down too and gave me the insult of my life in full public view and glare and told me to enter the car which I refused. I had no money on me and had to beg a stranger for money. By that time he was coming back, he quickly took a picture of both of us and sent it to everybody of how he caught me in the act with my lover on the road. He called me and said that if he must marry me, I must break my business sim card and look for a wife friendly occupation or sit at home.

He later apologised over it. Meanwhile he and my sis don't flow as before as he once called her a prostitute.

I want to call it quits but everyone around me feels it's a mistake and he is saying everything out of anger and if I'm patient enough, he will change completely.

I must admit that he has changed alot since we met but the progress compared to the timeframe and the heat I face everyday is nothing to write home about.

He loves me to a fault and I don't know if I can find someone who loves me like him but his other attitude is sniffing life out of me. Do I stay or quit?
Thanks for reading and pardon any typos

babe am kind of sorry 4 u my advice is quit d relationship and never go back in2 it

Nnaabros:
'He loves me to a fault' That's a wrong, dangerous kind of love. A faulty, possessive, insecure love. The type psychos have for their victims that could make them even kill you because 'they loved you so much they couldn't stand seeing you with someone else'

Real love is not faulty. It doesn't give you a bad feeling or bad experience.

'What people say'. You and you alone will bear the consequences of your choices and decisions, not people. Whether you choose to stay with him or leave is entirely up to you.

Real talk... God bless

djbussy:
You write too much. If you were speaking, I will say you talk too much. No man is perfect. Manage what God has given you. Get married, 4rk him so well, give him good food and treat him like your baby. Let me ask you, if ur baby S. H. I. T. In pant, will you throw the baby and pant away to get another baby and pant? Your answer should be "No". You keep taking care of the baby till the baby grows up and stops. S. H. I. T. I. N. G in pants. That how to manage a man or woman. If you like read and apply, if you like, throw my advise in your lawma waste bin so someone else can pickup to recycle . Full stop

Loool, just when I thought I have read it all on NL.

RUN... Marriage ain't do or die

I pity you. May God open ur eyes. Love INDEED!

Does your sanity matter to you? My advice is in your answer.

U never marry, u Don dey chop knock, ur sister Don get nickname too and u r asking if u should stay or go. Japaa

Just quit

Long epistle. Things some women will go thru because of marriage?? Make marriage lose gps signal and go to hell

My dear don't just run, but flee. Hope you understanding the difference b/w run and flee

Oh my goodness... You still want someone to tell you to run for your life? Don't vex me right now abeg[color=#006600][/color]

Hello @OP,
All i see here is that you have a large heart. Every man has his own weakness/weaknesses but I think the signs from your man are too ominous.
If you are willing to give the chance you gave him to someone else... I just sent you a dm.

He's abusive, temperamental, inquisitive, over Jealous, anger driven and beats you.
And you are still thinking about it then asking for our opinion?
You really gotta be kidding me. Run for your life if you wanna live.

One word for you sister, RUN!!!

Even madman dey see fire dey run for him life, I hate girls that love with their brain� the idiot will rip life out of you

Of all your explanation, the only reason why I will fault the man is for laying hands on you, about him peeping through your phones,nothing bad if you're sincere, the nature of the woman in question also arouses suspicion, some woman are so worst that any man can Bleep em as long as he can use the right words. All said and done, my advice is for you to quit if he his the beating type

ColonelEmeka:
What she meant by he loves her to a fault is that he loves her deeply and not that it is faulty

And see how he's treating her because he 'loves her deeply'.