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He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After - Family (8) - Nairaland

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by baby124: 9:21am On Dec 30, 2019
Scottallen:


If he denied the pregnancy, then he has no business with the child. Customary laws applies in this case, even if the case goes to court.

In many Igbo communities, a father isn't just a sperm donor. If a man didn't pay for a woman's bride price, technically in the customary court, the child isn't his.

Remember, if the man goes to court, he must first of all start with the customary court and he will definitely lose.

The ball is in your sisters court!
Interesting... but the child will be curious to know her roots. So one can’t make such strong decisions for her. You don’t want her running behind everyone’s back to see the father. The man could even be a molester. So the family should handle the matter cautiously and carefully, while providing her guidance and protection. He needs to be sued for child support of 16yrs though.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by PeacenLove2: 9:21am On Dec 30, 2019
Op, wehdone! You be man, joor. See we need to start raising sensible, responsible citizens and clean out our messed up society where a man can put a girl in a family way then abscond, and at his convinience, he thinks he can come back and claim rights. Some will even say is it not to prustrate or buy forgiveness with money?

Op, no doubt our young adult needs to know the truth about the man that donated the sperm but she needs to understand that her father is the one who raised her. Any idiot out there can do kerewa and get a woman preganant but the one who stood right by you is the Champ.

No laws in this country will take the child from a single mother let alone one that has a stable family and source of income. What the law might grant the biological father is access. They always look for the child's best interests. And at 16 years of age, her inputs will be required to make any decisions.

Family courts are always very messed up with too many incredible stories. Judges really hardly have interests in the he said-she said, but you can have all your evidence of his irresponsibility, and him knowing where to find her all these while and choosing not to be involved, also find out maybe he is looking for kidney o lipsrsealed Seriously, the dude and his family are wicked lots to abandon a whole child for 16 years, see 1 month is too much let alone 16 years. No be dog or cat o. A parent who fails to protect his or her own child is a monster and ought to be kept far away.

Children in this position have different reaction, some are not interested at all, while some are just curious to know. They need guidance on how to deal with this, preparing their minds for disappointments and how to be cautious especially if they want to meet. God bless you and your family. Raising kids especially someone else's is no joke at all. The father that raised that girl is a star. Some kids end up being house girls or treated worst anywhere they are.

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Liposure: 9:22am On Dec 30, 2019
As painful as dis may sound. Its best u allow ur niece know who her real father is so as to avoid any conflict.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by baby124: 9:24am On Dec 30, 2019
Hypocrit:
I think a law needed to be pass by the senate to sort out these issues because they are quite rampant in our country, that if for at most seven years after birth, a man (for those whose bride price has been paid)never come to claim ownership of his said child, nor contributed financially and materially nor socially to a child growth, then he loss the ownership of that child forever. While for those out of wedlock, have at most 4 years to claim ownership and pay the neccessary traditional rites as demanded by the girl's family and tradition, unless otherwise stated by the mother of the child and the child when she reach the age of consent, but with strigent rules. I cant really stand someone else coming to reap where he refuse to sow after many years. But the choice is for the girl to choose as we cannot deny a person of his/her constitutional rights. But the girl must be old enough to make such decision.
7yrs is too long.., 2 yrs after adequate notification giving accommodation for DNA test too. Who will bear that burden for 7yrs? Children are not cheap at all!

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Jaqenhghar: 9:25am On Dec 30, 2019
Una mumu I swear. The man ceased being her father the day him and his relatives rejected that pregnancy. What else does hlthe monkey want to cobtribute to the life of the child. I pray the child rejects the bastards

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by teepain: 9:26am On Dec 30, 2019
healthserve:



Help us ask o. And the persons supporting the man on this thread is a direct reflection of our society

I am happy that you have come to this conclusion.

Nigeria is in a terrible state because of the choices that individuals make.

We are a selfish lot and we like reaping where we did not sow, just like this deadbeat dad.

6 Likes 1 Share

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Jaqenhghar: 9:26am On Dec 30, 2019
Hypocrit:
I think a law needed to be pass by the senate to sort out these issues because they are quite rampant in our country, that if for at most seven years after birth, a man (for those whose bride price has been paid)never come to claim ownership of his said child, nor contributed financially and materially nor socially to a child growth, then he loss the ownership of that child forever. While for those out of wedlock, have at most 4 years to claim ownership and pay the neccessary traditional rites as demanded by the girl's family and tradition, unless otherwise stated by the mother of the child and the child when she reach the age of consent, but with strigent rules. I cant really stand someone else coming to reap where he refuse to sow after many years. But the choice is for the girl to choose as we cannot deny a person of his/her constitutional rights. But the girl must be old enough to make such decision.
Nice
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Nobody: 9:27am On Dec 30, 2019
Father is father, any other father is a counterfeit father and a simp manjina

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by dnawah(m): 9:28am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .
tell them to bring one of their daughter,so that you go give am belle.then after 16 years make them come back make una discuss.by then your niece go be 32,marry get fine fine Perkins.

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Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Larrykaysail(m): 9:28am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .
give him his bill on Feeding , education and stress of motherhood. If he can pay
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Hypocrit: 9:29am On Dec 30, 2019
[quote author=baby124 post=85339389]
7yrs is too long.., 2 yrs after adequate notification giving accommodation for DNA test too. Who will bear that burden for 7yrs? Children are not cheap at all![/quote.with necessary fines that should be considerate, also considering other factors that may be involved.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Digmygold: 9:29am On Dec 30, 2019
KIkiofure:
I am currently two months pregnant with no support from him.. He denied me and his family too..
I pray I birth this child in peace but since he denied me already he can never see this child.. He even called my baby bastard cry

He is callous to have called his own baby a bastard. Show him how to behave like a human being by punishing him.

My dear once you have that child, do the birth registration in your own surname and not his.
That way you deny him paternity for life.

I dislike cruelty to females. I have daughters and i will stand up against any idiotic man any day. Best of luck to you.

5 Likes 3 Shares

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by ctleurocollege: 9:29am On Dec 30, 2019
Keep her away from the niga
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Bishopozoike: 9:30am On Dec 30, 2019
If I will advice on the matter I will start will
what is the prove that th baby is his? And since he denied the pregnancy the family or ur sister should tell the guy that denied the pregnancy that the baby is nt his the tot he was responsible for it but u people later found out his nt the person. And apologize to for accusing him then.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by baby124: 9:30am On Dec 30, 2019
Hypocrit:
Just to be considerate i peg it there.
Such people deserve no consideration.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by vikithor(m): 9:32am On Dec 30, 2019
theButterfly:
He does have a lot of say b/c 1) he has been her guardian and b/c 2) she's still underage, so it makes sense to protect her best interests and have some questions answered before proceeding.
Bro,don't talk thus,reason that lots of pains,disappointment, denials, tears,heartbreaks,shame,lost opportunities, deprivations,hatred,loss career /ambition must have been wasted cos of the 'biological father' rejection of this now golden child.It was some other people that stood in the gap to cushion the effect of extreme damage,remedying the mother, child and providing alternative lives and opportunities for an almost lost hope.
Summary.
There is need of stakeholders to dialogue.
I have been hearing matters like this and will ever feel the pains of ladies.
It is my good samatarianism that moved me to accept one single mother like that that 8 years later,she would divorce me to want to continue her single life; well I have no regrets,I did my best for her(even her ex,father of her daughter met with me on the way,chatted with me,said he has heard all she end up doing against, me,shook hands with me that new I had tried.

Here,can see,the faults was from this single mother,she left first guy,put all blames on him,I believed all she said,she repeated same unacceptable manners with me,and finally left on her own.

Not all tales of single parenthood are the same,whichever ways,someone didn't do somethings right.

Learn how to drive,that's my calling, call or WhatsApp from below

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by baby124: 9:32am On Dec 30, 2019
Larrykaysail:
give him his bill on Feeding , education and stress of motherhood. If he can pay
What about accommodation and stress on extended family plus extended family efforts to subsidize her care. In these situations the mothers rely heavily on her family member. The mother would also have been young when she had this child.

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Scottallen: 9:33am On Dec 30, 2019
baby124:

Interesting... but the child will be curious to know her roots. So one can’t make such strong decisions for her. You don’t want her running behind everyone’s back to see the father. The man could even be a molester. So the family should handle the matter cautiously and carefully, while providing her guidance and protection. He needs to be sued for child support of 16yrs though.

Unfortunately, there's little provision for child support. The child already has a root because he/she is already a member of a family. However, it is a cautious matter. I don't accept giving up the custody of the child to a fool.

The child could be shown to her father, while, telling her how the man disowned her publicly!

1 Like 1 Share

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Briller: 9:34am On Dec 30, 2019
Sorry to digress. So can I be given custody of my 3kids cause even when still married, my husband has totally ceded the responsibility of catering for the kids to me and then all he works for is for his extended family so he would be seen as the generous one.

Does evidence of paying all the bills give me custody cause right now the only thing on my mind is to kukuma face reality that I am a s single mom.

What does the Law provide for?
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Midas01: 9:35am On Dec 30, 2019
Mumu. A child is owned by both parents. Any parent that neglects his child loses the right to that child forever. At this point no court anywhere in the world will grant custody of the child to the father who rejected the child, disgraced the mother and was absent from the child's life for almost 2 decades.

Now according to even Igbo customary law, a man has no right to a child who's mother he didn't pay bride price for.

So either ways, it's a lose lose situation for the deadbeat father.
jidamsel43:
The whole world knows that you have really trued on the girl up to that level but the truth is that you are not his biological father. Whether now or later , man must claim his property.
In Africa , a man owns children and he has right to claim it anytime. Forget about denial or irresponsible , he is still the real father of the girl.
Discus with him on what he needs to do . I believe he will be willing to do it

5 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by DMerciful(m): 9:36am On Dec 30, 2019
So the opinion of the 16yr old girl is irrelevant? Yeye dey smell!
LoyalRccgMember:


shut the Bleep up!!! he has the right to do what he wants as he's the one who brought her up not the stupid old fool!!
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Stillthebest: 9:37am On Dec 30, 2019
kiss

Unfortunately, that's how it would be. The father always owns the children either cared for or not. No Law has ever says otherwise yet.

However, it is very disgusting and irritating how some foolish men reject pregnancy they knew they were truly responsible.

If the preg is doubtful, why not say ' we go for a DNA'

If finances is the issue why not accept the pregnancy and do a lil u can do to support the lady or worst still show irresponsibility or just run away instead of an outright rejection!

I wish there is a Law that will ever ban such father from having access or reclaim such children born out of these acts!

This has destroyed many children's lives.
Well, you can't do anything about it. Just let it be. Wouldn't advise you to make the man pay all you have spent.
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Crownfitsme2019(m): 9:38am On Dec 30, 2019
Try and reunite the girl with her father...
Do it for the love you have for the girl
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by shineeye1: 9:39am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .

Coming to claim what! Thunder fire dem!!
After their evil that has matured for years, they now want to be rewarded with the life gift of a child! Your Evil can never be rewarded with Good - that is evil. Let no one play holier than God! There must be a just reward for every action of man.
There is however a thing called restitution or reparation. It is an elaborate ritual. The imbecilic man and his family must reconvene the meeting where they first denied responsibility. They must then recant and pay in full for the burden borne by the innocent over the years. After that, a reconciliation may then be opened. May God use Satan to punish all you evil doers to the fullest extent...
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Lexusgs430: 9:40am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:
Good evening all. I need your honest opinion on this .

My elder sister was put in a family way 16 years ago. The guy responsible, his family rejected the pregnancy Infront of my family .

We took her in, cared for her and she gave birth to a lovable baby girl . Dam, she is so pretty and was well loved.

She grew to become my pet . I loved her with all my heart. Infact we all loved her .

My elder sister is married . She has told her daughter that her present husband is her father when she start asking questions.

She is done with her secondary school and currently running a fashion design program . I planned on sending her to the Uni once she is done with her program .

Just got on phone with my sister now and she is telling me that , the dude that got her pregnant family has been disturbing her to allow them access to the girl . That they are ready to train her to any level .

And she is considering telling her daughter the truth about her birth .

Can you imagine the nonsense. I have warned her not to do that not to talk of giving them access and I am currently furious right now . After 16 years of loving this girl, someone is now claiming father .

Please how do I handle this .


Story story........ The moment they rejected the child, that was the moment of no return..........

1 Like

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by AlphaStorm: 9:41am On Dec 30, 2019
Abeg lets hear from the Biological father first
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Kazeemakeem(m): 9:42am On Dec 30, 2019
Biafrareform:


I looked after this baby girl from when she was born till she came of age . She is so fond of me .

Now one nigga is trying to upset her psychological mindset all in a bit to have access to her .

This is so hard to bear

it dosnt matter if you look after her or not ,you can deny the daughter ofher father period,stop disturbing ureself ,ure a guy too
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Nobody: 9:42am On Dec 30, 2019
meobizy:
Are you the father of your niece? If no you have little say over the matter. The only thing you can do is give advice, it ends there. If your sister blocks her daughter from knowing her true family the child will still do so at the age of 18 or 21, whichever one is our age of legal adulthood. You have done your part. Let fate decide the rest.


He's the guardian to the child. He has more say on the affairs of the girl than the mysterious man that is claiming to be the father of the child.

The aim of the law is to make sure that a child is protected always and if the matter goes to court, the guardian will be granted custody to the child until she's 18.

The father of the lady should have adopted the child immediately she was born.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Isoduwa(m): 9:43am On Dec 30, 2019
Na who born pikin them dey ask for Nor be who train am
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Kazeemakeem(m): 9:43am On Dec 30, 2019
s
Crownfitsme2019:
Try and reunite the girl with her father...

Do it for the love you have for the girl

simple ooooooooooooooooooooo
Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by Midas01: 9:48am On Dec 30, 2019
A biological father has no right to his own child if he rejected her and wasn't in his life for 16 years. No right whatsoever.
meobizy:

If you reread his original post this is what he has in mind.


They can do this, which is the right step. Visually they can tell if the man is capable enough to cater for her.


Being the legal father affords him more right over the OP in the child's welfare.

2 Likes

Re: He Got My Sister Pregnant, Rejected It, Now He Wants The Child 16 Years After by gudugudumeje: 9:48am On Dec 30, 2019
You, ur sister and ur family will finally yield to their request but not before they hv formally committed themselves - the dude and the family each ad, separately to repenting what evll they did 16years ago. And that is with a lawyer in place, agredments put down legally and sworn affidavit to be of good behaivour in the matters now and in the future. Not just forgiving... Then deposit a copy in the Probate division of the state High Court/ judiciary... Only then could you av provided safdgqards for ur family and the girl. Gudluk to you.

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