₦airaland Forum

Cutehector:
But why did you keep such medical information from him before you both got married? That's not fair in my opinion.

Did u even read?

bukatyne:
That is why they need to invest their youth in husbands who would stand by them.

How is this done?

Some people will just be asking stupid questions on nairaland. It is obvious that the so called husband does not love you jo


I am in love with dominique and she nose it

Cutehector:
But why did you keep such medical information from him before you both got married? That's not fair in my opinion.

I suggest you read again to learn when the condition arose. I also suggest you Google the sickness and learn about it since your wife may suffer the same.

@ topic. Your husband is totally ignorant of the sickness. I would suggest you try your best to get him to read up on it. For now... in his ignorance... he firmly believes you always had a mental problem... and your family passed off their mad daughter to him without any warning. Knowledge is key here.

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

Marriage is not a DO or DIE affair......

BrainSanitizer:
Kwin poco you don start abi? So na horseband we be naw? Wat of rubberband?

Lol. You na husband na, the one below is a horseband. Only mouth them get.

philip0906:
I am obviously a young man...

martowskin1:
Bla bla bla , come down, u only heard one side of the story and boom u became emotional.

Fall back with your “let’s hear the other side” BS, a personal OP is always the POV of the OP, that’s literally the whole point of this section. If you don’t have anything to contribute to a thread it’s best you don’t jump on it.

If this OP doesn’t make you emotional, then there’s something seriously wrong with you.

Cutehector:
But why did you keep such medical information from him before you both got married? That's not fair in my opinion.

Post Partum psychosis occurs in d life ofv1 in 10 women after childbirth. Happened to women around me. U never know until u hv had a baby. It goes away if adequately treated with anti depressants. No need for blaming her.

DMerciful:
You are rude!

Lol

Because I have a different opinion from yours and do not see the essence of working myself up over an argument, I'm rude

Gtfoh

And clean up the waterworks on your way, you're such a crybaby

I believe very much in genuine love between couples. The man should love his wife no matter what, I don't believe in that bullshit in people call 'for better', what I believe in is ''for better for worse'' No matter the circumstance, both couple should stay by each other. If their is no genuine love, then why get married? Nonsense!!

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

God is your helper. I pray your husband's heart is touched by God so as to be compassionate to you in Jesus name, amen.

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

Uncle lalasticlala this is why I create certain threads. Maybe if this lady has seen it on front page she won't bother asking this.

Please consider this thread for front page.

https://www.nairaland.com/5492915/present-day-woman-misplaced-priority-marriage

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

Your safety and survival is your priority now

Try and do some work and earn money before you can start your masters or anything that will make you spend

He is feeling the way he is because he is not the one affected

Am glad you have gotten kids so pls focus on yourself

If he likes let him contribute to his children welfare if he likes let him not Contribute

For now, keep him aside and plan how to be relevant to things around you

He may come back to you, he may not come to you

You still have chances of meeting other men but be careful so that you don't take in carelessly because child bearing returns back those problems you do encounter

If he comes back and shows remorse, you may consider him and go back to him

But put him aside a d sort yourself out first

Health is the greatest wealth human needs

Pavore9:
Mental health issues are really very sensitive as it tends to affect the dynamics of the family and since you said you have already been cleared and probably no longer on psychotropic medication, there is need to rebuild your life, work on your self-esteem. Focus on self actualization as you already thinking of postgraduate studies and nursing, time would influence the direction your relationship with your husband would go, don't force anything.



Wilful ignorance is motivating him and stop bringing the devil into the situation. She does not need any deliverance, it is not spiritual. It is no sin in leaving a marriage that is toxic and nurtures loss of human dignity.

Thank you Jare!!

faithfull18:
Exactly, the women always @ the receiving end of everything.

Ailing parents and parents in-law, the woman does the caring but when the woman needs care...hmmn.

True Really. But I know families where the husband takes care of the wife in prolonged ill health.

onegig:
More reason I really don't get women in Nigeria and their overjoy to just get pregnant.

If I were to be a woman . God knows I would fuxkkking stay away from.pregnancy.

You loose your body, you are burdened for 9months and even after that you either get depressed and suicidal from post partum depression or this above. Add to the risks of childbirth and the stress of sleepless night tending to babies.

I can't really wrap my head why women are so joyous to go through all these multiple times. Like are you guys masochists and love pain and trouble so much?

That is how we are wired.

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

You are spelling ALONE as ALOOONE and you said the symptoms has cleared...... better be open to us, let’s know where to start from

upper:
A case in point was that a new mother who during her episode said in front of everybody that her husband is fond of impregnating small girls in their neighborhood. The man was so embarrassed that he never visited until she was discharged from hospital.

Hahahahahahaha

LegendaryLover:
ABOUT THE ILLNESS:
(a) is there no total cure or it can only be managed?


MARRIAGE:
maybe u guys could sit and talk with some1 he respects. then bare ur heart. help him see ur parents didn't know.


I think love is missing in that marriage; God's kinda love. That the only thing that can help couples be truly there for each other in tough times.

e.g husband losses job and wife divorces. wife is unable to get pregnant and husband leaves the marriage.




IS HE BORN AGAIN?

you nigerians commit the worst crimes but are the most religious. what has born again have to do with this. what if they are muslims?

Coco you have said it all.
The husband is not empathetic at all, he's was abusive at her lowest time, he would still use that sickness against her in the near future.

cococandy:
OP this is a classic case of for better for worse.
It means in sickness and in health. For poorer or richer.
Exactly all the things that you have no control over and your spouse has no control over. But both of you still decide to love each other through it all.

Nigerian men only think for better or worse means when they decide to keep mistresses outside or beat you up. That’s when they remember that you have a vow to keep. Not them.

You’re justified to leave him if he can’t cope with your mental health issues. You owe yourself love and peace of mind. Don’t expect it from anyone else much less someone who’s unwilling to give it. Anything that aggravates your condition should be removed. Women have hurt themselves and their children when struck with ppd. It’s a delicate situation that doesn’t need to be made worse with abuse from someone you’re codependent on.

I won’t necessarily judge him because coping with mental health is not easy. But I don’t have any sympathy or pity for him either. Because I know you would stick with him if he was the one who got sick after having your child. You would probably be running from church to church seeking prayers and healing for him.

Do what makes you happy

pocohantas:
Same man would never wash your clothes even if you are vomitting blood. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, but the former makes his feel alpha, the latter doesn't.

Which Nigerian man has time to be packing urine of a sick wife, cleaning poo, reminding her to take drugs, preparing special meals for her failing health, washing her clothes and pants?

You make good points once in a while ...But my dear woman,On this one you were hasty...I am in no way supporting the Op's hubby..I for one think he's almost a coward ...

But I have the benefit of working in a hospital and female medical and surgical wards are awash with good men doing all you said they don't and more...

Not to mention They still have to combine the obligations of being breadwinners.

The kinda odds jobs they do to raise funds for Investigations and treatment can only be imagined by your likes...

In your smear campaign against men please do the world a favour by typing with your brain not your chest...

Shalom

Toks2008:
If you know how many married ladies have thanked me privately for this thread you will understand how vital it is.

I'm even tired of referencing the threads for endless threads such as this one.

There are no Better guys out there...we are all the same and there will always be a wow side and a nay side so every woman should just work on their marriages or better still stay put and focus on the kids except of course there lives are threatened.

Lmao. I find you amusing. I wonder why some people take you so seriously to attack your personal life.

Nobody thanked you o. Nobody did Toks.

richPHAROAH:
you nigerians commit the worst crimes but are the most religious. what has born again have to do with this. what if they are muslims?

boy, don't be silly.


i'm entitled to my say. So stop quoting me and make ur own submission about the thread.

It's a hard one... Marriage is for better for worse... Your children come first and for that maybe you should give it another shot. You guys should talk about it and see a therapist... Before you take any move.

One of my neighbour had this issue hers was not discovered on time but when it was and medically treated she fully recovered but didn't go on to have more children,she had 3. I think the decision of continuing with the marriage is not yours alone. Have you told him you are coming home? Will you stop child bearing at this stage? This is why I tell ladies don't cut off from your family because of marriage. Blood is thicker than butterflies in your tommy.

He needs counselling from the experts in that field,likely he doesn't understand the nature of the illness. With appropriate counselling, I think all will be well.

What are the symptoms of the mental illness

pocohantas:
You done start again

If you know how many married ladies have thanked me privately for this thread you will understand how vital it is.

I'm even tired of referencing the threads for endless threads such as this one.

There are no Better guys out there...we are all the same and there will always be a wow side and a nay side so every woman should just work on their marriages or better still stay put and focus on the kids except of course there lives are threatened.

pocohantas:
Lmao. I find you amusing. I wonder why some people take you so seriously to attack your personal life.

Nobody thanked you o. Nobody did Toks.

Lobatan! You be olote cos you don't just want to accept that I hit the nail on the head.

Ok I made a mistake...many ladies sent me personal messages really cursing me for writing that trash.

Happy now?

Alooone:
I got married to my husband in 2013, we are blessed with 2kids (a boy and a girl)

In 2017, barely 2 weeks after giving birth to our son I was diagnosed with puepurium psychosis. A kind of mental illness that afflicts women that have just given birth and since it has been from one medication to another..

Now since after my diagnosis my husband has been a source of emotional, verbal and physical abuse... He blames my parents for everything as he feels "cheated " feeling that they knew all about my "sickness " before we got married and kept it from him.....

He felt I was a liability and feels he is too young to shoulder such... There was nothing my husband didn't do to frustrate me...

So around June this year I left my home for my father's house and have been there since, now since I have been there my husband hardly calls when he does he wants to speak with his children. He doesn't call my parents to ask about my well-being or that of his kids.

Sometimes I feel abandoned, now the issue is that the love I have for him is beginning to reduce, sometimes I feel like letting him go and starting all over. Other times I want to stay cos I think of my children's future.

As for the psychosis ALL the symptoms have gone as am typing this now I have a job with a small private school and planning to either proceed with my masters or start a nursing programme.

So please I need your advice. Should I let him go?

U have to find out weda ur husband has moved on with another woman first before u take ur decision