₦airaland Forum

Pusyiter:
The purpose is what brought you to planet earth

a vagina?

Belafonte:
Only a loser would get married just to get regular sex. Any informed man knows that sex dwindles after marriage. It is more plentiful when single.

are you married?

desvi:
are you married?

What does that have to do with anything? You want to marry me?

Belafonte:
What does that have to do with anything? You want to marry me?

it has to do with you claiming that "informed men" know that sèx becomes less after marriage

desvi:
it has to do with you claiming that "informed men" know that sèx becomes less after marriage

I’m not, have loads of married friends, though.

see your purpose

desvi:
a vagina?

Belafonte:
I’m not, have loads of married friends, though.

see ...
this is why in one of your previous posts you said that marriage is a big sacrifice
it's not if you are married to the right person
then you went on to say that people can have children without marriage
well
children require big sacrifices

and sèx does not necessarily become less
children can make it less frequent
for obvious reasons
not marriage itself

desvi:
see ...
this is why in one of your previous posts you said that marriage is a big sacrifice
it's not if you are married to the right person
then you went on to say that people can have children without marriage
well
children require big sacrifices

and sèx does not necessarily become less
children can make it less frequent
for obvious reasons
not marriage itself

From one side of your mouth you say it does not necessarily become less, and then you say it becomes less from the other side, while making an excuse.

Take a poll of married men and ask how much sex they had with the same person before and after marriage. In fact, many married women like to form busy just to avoid sex . Yet, many married women cannot wait to get the kids to bed and get down with hubby.

If I got married I would be reasonable with my expectations of sex, but if it were marked I would seek satisfaction elsewhere without even thinking twice. If a woman wants to really get down she will. These same women who would bring up children as the reason for their reduced libidos are cheating with other men. My wife is free to keep her cooch, doesn’t mean I’m gonna die dry-d*cked, and I better not catch her cheating.

Belafonte:
From one side of your mouth you say it does not necessarily become less, and then you say it becomes less from the other side, while making an excuse.

Take a poll of married men and ask how much sex they had with the same person before and after marriage. In fact, many married women like to form busy just to avoid sex . Yet, many married women cannot wait to get the kids to bed and get down with hubby.

If I got married I would be reasonable with my expectations of sex, but if it were marked I would seek satisfaction elsewhere without even thinking twice. If a woman wants to really get down she will. These same women who would bring up children as the reason for their reduced libidos are cheating with other men. My wife is free to keep her cooch, doesn’t mean I’m gonna die dry-d*cked, and I better not catch her cheating.

who was talking about reduced libido
see assumptions

back to the topic
marriage is not a sacrifice
kids are

but what do you know with your second hand experience?

desvi:
who was talking about reduced libido
see assumptions

back to the topic
marriage is not a sacrifice
kids are

but what do you know with your second hand experience?

Whatever you say, love

Sterope:
Nobody can humiliate you for not having a husband or children. They do if you let them.

I understand the biological need to have children is very strong in most women but she can definitely love with herself without having a child of their own. She needs to stop wallowing, not everyone has been destined to have children.

Please remember that feelings are transient. You have a point but I would call it nature, and unfortunately you don't have control over naturalistic desires. Any decision you take against nature will always end in state of unfulfilment and hence gross sadness.

Most women that thought they dont need marriage or kids do regret these decisions later in life (%100 true). The only thing is they will never come online to tell the truth as they may feel ashamed of their earlier decisions.

NB: I am against humiliation of any kind because of personal decisions. It is wrong but the truth need to be told because of young and gullible girls who are just starting life. The mind grows based on the information if feeds on regularly.

Some people don't have your naturalistic desires.

Why are you projecting your assumption? It is not 100% true. Admittedly, some will have regret especially if it was done out of obligation. Some dont and won't. There are so many of them out of them. There are so many who are also planning never to have children. These are people with different philosophies.

Don't try and feel good about people's regrets. People regret a lot of things.

geosegun:
Please remember that feelings are transient. You have a point but I would call it nature, and unfortunately you don't have control over naturalistic desires. Any decision you take against nature will always end in state of unfulfilment and hence gross sadness.

Most women that thought they dont need marriage or kids do regret these decisions later in life (%100 true). The only thing is they will never come online to tell the truth as they may feel ashamed of their earlier decisions.

It depends on individual some are very happy especially when they have everything including children maybe out of wedlock or adoption and are established, while some(most if they don't estabilish anything) are very unhappy.if you have everything including good job, house, car, smiling bank account, and your own children even though adopted or given by you without husband why won't you be happier. Some married one that are in bondage will even be jealous.

CHoccolaTE:
W
'If you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don’t bother'

Maya OppenheimWomen's Correspondent @mayaoppenheim
Tuesday 28 May 2019 14:33

The Independent
Women who are not married and do not have children are the happiest group in the population, a prominent expert in happiness has said.

Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics, said unmarried and childless women are also likely to outlive their married child-rearing counterparts and are healthier than them.

Speaking at the Hay festival on Saturday, Mr Dolan said the latest data demonstrated that long-established, traditional symbols of success did not necessarily correlate with happiness levels.



The best-selling author, who carries out original research into the measurement of happiness and its causes and consequences, noted men in comparison benefited from marriage as they “calm down”.

He said: “You take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that, and she dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children".

Mr Dolan added: “Married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is in the room when they are asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: f***ing miserable.


“We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that academic science and just say: if you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don’t bother.”

Mr Dolan’s latest book, Happy Ever After, cites evidence from the American Time Use Survey, which compared levels of pleasure and unhappiness in unmarried, married, divorced, separated and widowed individuals. The study discovered levels of happiness reported by those who were married was higher than those who do not have spouses, but only when their husband or wife was in the room.


People who were not married reported lower levels of misery than married individuals who were asked when their spouse was not present.

Other studies have measured some financial and health benefits in being married for both men and women on average, which Mr Dolan said could be ascribed to higher incomes and emotional support, allowing married people to take risks and seek medical help.


While Mr Dolan pointed to men displaying more health benefits from getting married due to them taking less risks, women’s health was mainly unaffected by marriage. But middle-aged married women were at higher risk of physical and mental conditions than their single peers.

How to dance your way to happiness
In spite of the advantages of an unmarried childless existence for women, Mr Dolan said the fact marriage and children were seen to be traditional, established emblems of success meant the stigma could cause some single women to feel unhappy.

He said: “You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children – ‘Bless, that’s a shame, isn’t it? Maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change.’ No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change. Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner.”

Mr Dolan said that having children can be harmful to people’s well being – saying many parents might secretly agree with a famous academic colleague who “said that he liked the existence of his children but not their presence”.

“It would be categorically awful if anything happened to them, but the experiences we have with children are largely miserable,” he added.

Mr Dolan said that having children is “an amazing experience” for some, but added that “for a lot of people it isn’t, and the idea that we can’t talk openly about why that might be is a problem.”



https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

Short sighted epistle.......I can't can't ooo

Sterope:
Some people don't have your naturalistic desires.

Why are you projecting your assumption? It is not 100% true. Admittedly, some will have regret especially if it was done out of obligation. Some dont and won't. There are so many of them out of them. There are so many who are also planning never to have children. These are people with different philosophies.

Don't try and feel good about people's regrets. People regret a lot of things.

Please note the use of the word "most" and hence the word 100% true. I still stand by this statement. I never mentioned 'all' but the word 'most'

Hey, I am not the type that feels good or happy about anyone's regrets or mistakes. We all have regrets or mistakes one way or the other. I am only trying to tell the obvious truth to whoever care to listen so that they will not be misled.

The truth is bitter. It's at the dawn of twilight that the Umbrella carrier will realize it is load he/she carries.

By the way, I like the way you present your case, but it does not means its the most correct.

We should meet sometimes, if you are about? I will like to see the face of this scholarly personality. Don't mind my grammar �

CHoccolaTE:
I asked this question before in another topic and I will ask it again;
What exactly do women gain from marriages apart from escaping societal pressure of getting married and having kids?

Men are the ones prolonging their lineage with marriage and kids,
Men are the ones in charge of whatever homes they set up after marriage, they have control, they have the final say. Everyone submits to them.
Men are the ones who get both a co-breadwinner and lifetime cook, cleaner, sex slave ( trust me many married women lack sexual satisfaction, sex after marriage is mostly for husband's benefit),
Men can even cheat with impunity and have children outside wedlock and go scot free, he basically maintains his freedom to have wanton sex just like when he was a bachelor, and he gets no blame and his wife is advised to stay with him because men are ' naturally polygamous'.


Yet society wants us to believe women benefit more from marriages.


With loss of freedom, loss of former identity ( changing surname even if the man you now bear his name cannot take care of you or provide for you), loss of beauty and youth after having children that belong to another mans lineage and family, horrible unsatisfying sex life in many cases, is forced to overlook cheating husbands behaviour, must balance greatest majority of housework and breadwinning while husband contributes barest minimum to housework. The man might even be jobless but the wife is advised to stay and support her husband and help him grow.

Infact the list of losses is endless.

Once a single woman turns 40, pressure on her to marry lessens, but that is when the MASSIVE pressure on the man of same age begins!!

CHoccolaTE:
I asked this question before in another topic and I will ask it again;
What exactly do women gain from marriages apart from escaping societal pressure of getting married and having kids?

Men are the ones prolonging their lineage with marriage and kids,
Men are the ones in charge of whatever homes they set up after marriage, they have control, they have the final say. Everyone submits to them.
Men are the ones who get both a co-breadwinner and lifetime cook, cleaner, sex slave ( trust me many married women lack sexual satisfaction, sex after marriage is mostly for husband's benefit),
Men can even cheat with impunity and have children outside wedlock and go scot free, he basically maintains his freedom to have wanton sex just like when he was a bachelor, and he gets no blame and his wife is advised to stay with him because men are ' naturally polygamous'.


Yet society wants us to believe women benefit more from marriages.


With loss of freedom, loss of former identity ( changing surname even if the man you now bear his name cannot take care of you or provide for you), loss of beauty and youth after having children that belong to another mans lineage and family, horrible unsatisfying sex life in many cases, is forced to overlook cheating husbands behaviour, must balance greatest majority of housework and breadwinning while husband contributes barest minimum to housework. The man might even be jobless but the wife is advised to stay and support her husband and help him grow.

Infact the list of losses is endless.

You are wise

CHoccolaTE:
W
'If you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don’t bother'

Maya OppenheimWomen's Correspondent @mayaoppenheim
Tuesday 28 May 2019 14:33

The Independent
Women who are not married and do not have children are the happiest group in the population, a prominent expert in happiness has said.

Paul Dolan, a professor of behavioural science at the London School of Economics, said unmarried and childless women are also likely to outlive their married child-rearing counterparts and are healthier than them.

Speaking at the Hay festival on Saturday, Mr Dolan said the latest data demonstrated that long-established, traditional symbols of success did not necessarily correlate with happiness levels.



The best-selling author, who carries out original research into the measurement of happiness and its causes and consequences, noted men in comparison benefited from marriage as they “calm down”.

He said: “You take less risks, you earn more money at work, and you live a little longer. She, on the other hand, has to put up with that, and she dies sooner than if she never married. The healthiest and happiest population subgroup are women who never married or had children".

Mr Dolan added: “Married people are happier than other population subgroups, but only when their spouse is in the room when they are asked how happy they are. When the spouse is not present: f***ing miserable.


“We do have some good longitudinal data following the same people over time, but I am going to do a massive disservice to that academic science and just say: if you are a man, you should probably get married; if you are a woman, don’t bother.”

Mr Dolan’s latest book, Happy Ever After, cites evidence from the American Time Use Survey, which compared levels of pleasure and unhappiness in unmarried, married, divorced, separated and widowed individuals. The study discovered levels of happiness reported by those who were married was higher than those who do not have spouses, but only when their husband or wife was in the room.


People who were not married reported lower levels of misery than married individuals who were asked when their spouse was not present.

Other studies have measured some financial and health benefits in being married for both men and women on average, which Mr Dolan said could be ascribed to higher incomes and emotional support, allowing married people to take risks and seek medical help.


While Mr Dolan pointed to men displaying more health benefits from getting married due to them taking less risks, women’s health was mainly unaffected by marriage. But middle-aged married women were at higher risk of physical and mental conditions than their single peers.

How to dance your way to happiness
In spite of the advantages of an unmarried childless existence for women, Mr Dolan said the fact marriage and children were seen to be traditional, established emblems of success meant the stigma could cause some single women to feel unhappy.

He said: “You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children – ‘Bless, that’s a shame, isn’t it? Maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change.’ No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change. Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner.”

Mr Dolan said that having children can be harmful to people’s well being – saying many parents might secretly agree with a famous academic colleague who “said that he liked the existence of his children but not their presence”.

“It would be categorically awful if anything happened to them, but the experiences we have with children are largely miserable,” he added.

Mr Dolan said that having children is “an amazing experience” for some, but added that “for a lot of people it isn’t, and the idea that we can’t talk openly about why that might be is a problem.”



https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/may/25/women-happier-without-children-or-a-spouse-happiness-expert

It's been more than a year now, you are still unmarried You don't need to reply this question, just ask yourself, Are you happy?

MrLucifer:
It's been more than a year now, you are still unmarried You don't need to reply this question, just ask yourself, Are you happy?

I am happy

I am not busy tolerating cheating and all manner of oppression in the name of being mrs somebody