Sam2310:
Most women always forgive Men of their wrongs but Most Men with always support their own(male), that why most nairalander with support that Man(father).
Assume is the mother that left the child.
You will be surprised of all kind of comment, range from insult and abuse(something like she a prostitute, she is gold digger etc)

OP, Make sure the entire family come ooo not the Man along. Because the Man may have a good heart and his family may not, which may be dangerous for the child.

U can't lose her Love, let your mind be at rest.

cc biafrareform

So if the family comes means they can open their hearts and see what is inside? Lol.

oodua1stson:
right now I'm currently taking care of a child that is not my sperm but I'm not deluded. I know one day the real father might pop up and rightly so. He needs to have access to his child and I will allow it. It doesn't matter that he has not spend a dime on him

Yeah right.

Xylan7:
Just like #biafrareform said"what has happen has hpn,allow the men to in touch with his daughter.. Depriving her of the truth will cause great harm in future if she hpn to fiind out that the man she's regarding to has her dad ain't the biological dad,she will hate you guys more than you can ever imagine..


I know how traumatized your family might feel,tell her everything she need to know nd allow her to decide her faith by herself..

#xylan7

The same "what has happened has happened" is the same reason that the deadbeat dad should understand that it has "happened" that another man has become the father of that 16 year old girl.

Life goes on.

govomotors:
Please forgive, forget and allow the young lady unite with her real dad. All these while the walked away father have been his own prisoner of conscience. Although, the walked away Father cannot repay your family but I can assure you, he will do everything he can to make peace.

And for your sister, she cannot hide the news any longer from the walked away father. As a wise man make use of this opportunity and arrange a meeting,

Be wise and make this period of celebration joyous to all even at NL.

So that he can go and use her for money rituals. If he ever loved his daughter he wont be able to abandon her for 16 whole years.

BRATISLAVA:

Lol. I don't know why females never learn. Maybe they think that a pregnancy would make the man love them.

And what about fathers that walk away from their wives and 6 kids. Its not about not learning dude. Once a man chooses to be irresponsible. It is what it is

Digmygold:


I wouldn't.

Explain

Digmygold:


Will he force the 16 year old to a lab? Lol. DNA for where. He lost it.

Normally the girl would like to know her true father.

By just informing her that there is a man outside there claiming to be her father is enough for the man.

The girl would look for him.

Digmygold:


The circumstances he held on to and disappeared for 16 years is the sane reason why he should get lost now. The circumstances have still not changed. So what does he want.

He wants the bride price and to claim future Grand children. He wants to reap where he didn't sow. He's looking for sympathy and someone who will care for him when he's old, so he's back to prey

Digmygold:


And the childs rights to welfare and education. Where was the father to ensure those rights are not flouted? He has lost all rights bro. He is nothing but a sperm donor.

You should see how they're fighting for the deadbeat to come back into the life of the child after 16 years. Suddenly it's his right. But it was never his right in 16 years. That man is on a revenge mission. He wants to turn the girls heart with 16 year old lies. The work has been done
he's coming for the fruits. After all, they cannot deny him. It's his right to be a deadbeat. Society/Nigerians have endorsed him. If you object it means you're staying reconciliation. But if it were the mother you would'nt see all the reconciliatory talk. if I were such a man I would stay away forever from someone I've abandoned. Unless I have a plan.

juman:


Normally the girl would like to know her true father.

By just informing her that there is a man outside there claiming to be her father is enough for the man.

The girl would look for him.

Would she be compelled to look it it were her mother?

Digmygold:


And what about fathers that walk away from their wives and 6 kids. Its not about not learning dude. Once a man chooses to be irresponsible. It is what it is

She would've know and seen the signs. It doesn't happen overnight.

Digmygold:


So if the family comes means they can open their hearts and see what is inside? Lol.

No, just a sign of relieve.

BRATISLAVA:


Would she be compelled to look it it were her mother?

Of course the eagerness to meet her would be their.

There are American shows where you see some people abandoned when young also looking for their parents.

Not knowing one or both of the parents are scars that can never be healed but managed.

Digmygold:


Nonsense.

Rubbish..

Digmygold:


The circumstances he held on to and disappeared for 16 years is the sane reason why he should get lost now. The circumstances have still not changed. So what does he want.

I know you wont understand the damage that could be caused when she is been told she has another parent by outsiders. .you really don't want to know

BRATISLAVA:


She would've know and seen the signs. It doesn't happen overnight.

May anyone you not experience it o. Sometimes the signs are totally absent.

juman:


Normally the girl would like to know her true father.

By just informing her that there is a man outside there claiming to be her father is enough for the man.

The girl would look for him.

You will.be surprised that she will just be as hard hearted as her biological.father. She may never look for him.

daddytime:
Exactly the same thing happened with my younger sister which I shared a bit on this thread https://www.nairaland.com/5284768/she-pregnant-twins-honestly-dont#79985006

The truth is, you have no right to deny the kid a relationship with her biological father no matter what must have transpired.

U are clearly downplaying the enormity of the sin that this father had committed.

Oh let's all be a run-away dad and, what, 15-20 years later, come back and reclaim our abandoned child.

Think about it. There have to be consequences!

Babaheekmat:


Explain

I am a victim of such and i never looked for him
When he decided to.look back after several years, i simply walked him out. There was zero affection. All i felt was hatred.

Digmygold:


You will.be surprised that she will just be as hard hearted as her biological.father. She may never look for him.

Go and watch paternity court and maury show and related shows, then you will realize the importance of knowing your dad and mum.

How grand mother cry to know her father.

juman:


Go and watch paternity court and maury show and related shows, then you will realize the importance of knowing your dad and mum.

How grand mother cry to know her father.

Well.i never and never will. There is no hard and fast rule but i guess its because the deadbeat dads are quite callous so their children are usually unforgiving. They may want to know him but certainly they will not want to associate with him. To each his own though.
Whats his relevance?

Digmygold:


I am a victim of such and i never looked for him
When he decided to.look back after several years, i simply walked him out. There was zero affection. All i felt was hatred.

Mehn.. I fear you..

Babaheekmat:


Mehn.. I fear you..

But you don't fear someone who left his unborn baby and came calling after 16 whole years? I fear you more. Are you a baby daddy too?

Digmygold:


But you don't fear someone who left his unborn baby and came calling after 16 whole years? I fear you more. Are you a baby daddy too?

I understand your pain. Letting go would ease it all..

At least.. Recognize him as your pa.. Other things might be denied. Zero affection... Hmm..

Mehn.. If your wife offend you.. How will you forget and won't hold on to it even after apologizing

Babaheekmat:


I understand your pain. Letting go would ease it all..

At least.. Recognize him as your pa.. Other things might be denied. Zero affection... Hmm..

Mehn.. If your wife offend you.. How will you forget and won't hold on to it even after apologizing

If my.wife.leaves for 15 years i would never take her back because that clearly states her stand on her feelings towards me. She never cared and never will.

Digmygold:


If my.wife.leaves for 15 years i would never take her back because that clearly states her stand on her feelings towards me. She never cared and never will.

Hmm.. Just try to forgive and have peace towards him..

Babaheekmat:


Hmm.. Just try to forgive and have peace towards him..

Towards his corpse? Its too late dude. All that's gone.

My elder sister was also put in the family way, the man that got her pregnant came twice trying to start the marriage rite, but did not, he now call my sister and told her that she should come and stay with him till after 2 years before he pay her dowry. My sister rejected his offer, he send her text mesages with unprintable abuse, he also said that he isnt responsible for her pregnancy. My sister took that in good faith and gave birth to a very beautiful baby girl who is now 9months old. And she didnt delete all the abusive text messages he send to her, so that she will show it to the girl when she is of age.

Digmygold:


Well.i never and never will. There is no hard and fast rule but i guess its because the deadbeat dads are quite callous so their children are usually unforgiving. They may want to know him but certainly they will not want to associate with him. To each his own though.
Whats his relevance?

The father suspicion might be right.
He may not be the true father.
There were some cases like that, the doubtful man was not the father after dna test was done.
That means he was right from the beginning.

Digmygold:


So that he can use the child for money rituals and get his money back. You people dont understand ruthlessness.

well only Nigerians reason like this ?

Larrykaysail:
well only Nigerians reason like this ?

Just yesterday on Nairaland there was this trending news of a pregnant young lady used for money rituals by her boyfriend who put her in the family way for ritual purposes. He even gave the girls heart to his mother to make a conction with in order to become rich.

And you are here ranting "well only Nigerians reason like this?" which sounds like yen, yen, yen to me.

That's the reality of life bro. Wake up and smell the coffee. We are in Africa and voodoo exists.

You cannot love your child and stay incommunicado for 1 year let alone 16 whole years. He could use her for money rituals i repeat. Let the mother of that child be extra cautious henceforth.

juman:


The father suspicion might be right.
He may not be the true father.
There were some cases like that, the doubtful man was not the father after dna test was done.
That means he was right from the beginning.

What did you expect? That he was going to stay and take care of the child?

Denying paternity was a strategy to dodge his responsibilies hoping to reap where he hasnt sown.I mean its pretty glaring. Thats what deadbeats do.

He was wrong from the beginning. You had unprotected sex with a woman, she says she got pregnant. As a responsible person if you are in doubt. get the DNA test done once the baby is born so that if it haopens that the child is yours you can be a man and take up your responsibility towards your child immediately.