Biafrareform:
.

Who is even talking of paying up. I don't want him near my baby girl

victorian:









Op, the time has come for you to tell your baby girl, the truth about her father.
Let her know she was rejected from birth and u accepted her and took care of her like your own. Let her mother too be present when both you and your sister is opening up to her .
And let her know, the father now wants to claim her and come back to her life.

If the communication line between u and your baby girl is good.

Talk to her like your daughter, let her remember those lovely moments both of u shared while growing up. Let her know, she can vouch for your love for her and to keep training and taking care of her till she marries but she cant vouch for a man, a stranger coming up from nowhere claiming he's her father.

And she can forgive him. But she can also choose whether to keep living with you, whom she knows inside out than to live with a stranger who wants nothing to do with her in the first place.
So she has the right to choose whom to be with. And if she wants to see her dad? Her dad can come visit her in your home. So she has to choose but she should remember the devil she knows, is better than angel showing up all of a sudden.

There are fathers fucvking their own daughters, And Mehn I don't trust the motive of the father towards the girl. He may want her as a sex slave. He doesn't have any fatherly connection towards her. So why want her at this level. I don't trust him one bit.
Only she can decide to stay with you or leave with him. But if uv been good to her, she will choose you.

Op try to open up to the girl, and let her know some twisted fathers do rape their daughters. And no one knows motive of this dad.

MrStan11:
Tell your sisters husband to start abduction process on the girl.

Legally the efulefu has no say.

Secondly, ask your sister to invite him to the family house, then make sure you use matchet to pursue him and his people.

Thirdly, the girl will know only what you and your sister tell her as truth. Make sure you spoil her mind over years where that idiot dey.



You can't just get a woman pregnant, run away without support and return after 16 fu. kin yrs to claim paternity.



Since naija no get law, we creat our own law.

chris51:
Please tell the girl's biological father and his family to get lost. Your sister should tell the man that the girl does not belong to him. After 16 years of desertion. What does he mean?

He and his family should go to hell. I can imagine what your sister must have gone through in her hour of need

Samsonklin:

Cheap blackmail. Thumbs down

Samsonklin:

Cheap blackmail. Thumbs down

victorian:







A man cannot just wake up after 16 years and be claiming he's the father.

Father of who?

He had better go and face his life and forget he has a daughter.
No be only daughter. He should come and carry nah. Ole!

The daughter should pour hot water in his body!

Irresponsible men that don't deserve anything good in life.

Tueh!

Scottallen:


A child is much more than a biological product. A child lives in a society! Even in the court, customary laws must be followed!

ZIMDRILL:
People are very funny and narrow minded with this culture this culture thats

Where was culture when the two where having sex ?
Where was the culture when the two family couldnt come to an agreement ?

Am not saying culture should be throw away altogether but we need to analyse each case thats shakes and challenge culture

I understand the OP anger and his attachment now wonder he called the girl his pet

Back to the issue, by law the child belongs to both, i believe the child is now in uni therefore she is above 18, she can choice who she wants to talk to and associate with. In developed world there is room by law to back pay the child maintainace to some degree But our case here is nigerian one backpay is Zero here.

Denying her access to her father, would damage the girl emotionally, she needs to see her father for he is and not to be told (sometimes people change over time may he has changed)

Remember the father was as young as the mother when she fell pregnant, roughly meaning his parents had more say than him and now he might seen, thats his parents decision or influence were not good

Then the cultural side, i am a zimbabwean i dont know any nigerian various tribal culture, but most (zimbabwe shona tribes culture), the daughter belongs to the father as per lineage of the family tree and spiritual part (Will explain the spiritual) but it doesnt mean she has to be physically with father or his family, the child can still be raised by the mum's family but, when the day to be married (the girl ) the dowry which is meant to go the father direct will then pass through the girls mum family side (the one's who looked after her), they will take what her own father was meant pay as bride price,

Depending on how bitter is mum family they might take all or leave little for the girl's father, thats depends on what relationship and development has happened over between the two families

I mentioned the spiritual side, the main reason, they (shona culture zimbabwe ) still say the child belongs to both irregardless of the father rejected the child(pregnancy) is that each family has its own spiritual believes demoans etc, so in the event that the girl gets married or even not but she starts having spiritual problems from her father side, it would be easy for the get to visit her father's family and sort out those problems

Then its now of culture in zimbabwe to pay what we call damage, this case suit the damage culture, the father comes in ask for access to the child he is asked to pay damages before any official meeting with he child

Many people here are focused on the anger towards the father non are focusing on what the wants, thats why you find most men in court loose the custody of a child because they focus on themselves via culture rights etc and not focusing on the needs of the child

Dearlord:


Are you serious? But the father has every right to deny her biological child at any time and at any place of his will?

This is the reason we are not advancing socially

Samsonklin:

If you like spoil the pikin mind. One day, if the dad is a well to do man, that girl go find am see and reunite. Whether their bond strong or not. The girl go find the papa see. Na o e be anywhere. Except the man na ogogoro man wey don loose guard for life.

No you reason am na, make Adeleke come now say na him be your papa and your momsi con confirm am say na im be your papa. Iffa hear say you stubborn. Nai be say you dey lie

Samsonklin:

Lol sorry bro. But you can never win this. Except he's broke and a coward. All similar cases like this this that i know always ends up the same. The motherf.ckerx always come back after a while and claim their kids. Blood is blood.

showafrica:


I no no why they are wasting time, just tell the real dad to pay 10m or 30,000usd for all the upkeep so far.. and hand her over her daughter. Use the money go born and train ur own.

BarryLondon007:

Regardless he is still the father
Leave story
Shit happens

Ecne:
Damn! God just picked that girl's call.
She go de flex 3 Dads be that: YOU (the main Dad IMO), the step-Dad and her biological Father.

Bro, don't prevent her from knowing her real Dad please, before she go date her blood Brother (or Cousin) in the future ooo

Kai! 16 years kwa... the Mom no try sha oooo

juman:
The man should do dna test to confirm he is the real father.

virginchaser:
Be deceiving yourself. The girl will locate the father when the time comes.

Shollze:
I have a friend that this is still going to happen to in the future. Her so called boyfriend that got her pregnant disappeared, she went through the pregnancy alone and raising the child alone. Things like this happens a lot .... just let the child know the father, you have no control over that.

kingjrofficial:
sorry bro.......there is nothing u can do about it, if he goes to court, u will lose.... pls do the needy and protect ur dignity and value in front of ur nephew....

#Peace

Obason22:
The truth is that u cannot take d love of a child away from his father or mother, but we most undstd in other way round that d same people that denied d child wen at womb are d same people coming to claim d child now @ 16. for instance a friend of mind was once a victim of such at, he was 28 but most of time people do accuse him that he does not no his father, on one faithful day he went straight to his mother and demanded to no his real father, d mother taught it was joke not until he brought out insecticide, that moment changed everything d cry of his mother attracted neighborhood but eventually d same man that said no wen he was in womb turn round to say yes and at 28 he has finished primary, sec. sch. and even went further to server as apprentice at main market onisha, and became master of his own, so my brother u have done well by her up bringing and best u do for her is to reunite her with her real father she will ever remain greet full but that does not stop u asking d man to pay for her up bringing if u wish.

Obason22:
The truth is that u cannot take d love of a child away from his father or mother, but we most undstd in other way round that d same people that denied d child wen at womb are d same people coming to claim d child now @ 16. for instance a friend of mind was once a victim of such at, he was 28 but most of time people do accuse him that he does not no his father, on one faithful day he went straight to his mother and demanded to no his real father, d mother taught it was joke not until he brought out insecticide, that moment changed everything d cry of his mother attracted neighborhood but eventually d same man that said no wen he was in womb turn round to say yes and at 28 he has finished primary, sec. sch. and even went further to server as apprentice at main market onisha, and became master of his own, so my brother u have done well by her up bringing and best u do for her is to reunite her with her real father she will ever remain greet full but that does not stop u asking d man to pay for her up bringing if u wish.

Larrykaysail:
give him his bill on Feeding , education and stress of motherhood. If he can pay

MrBrownJay1:


instead of thinking of money, think of the CHILD 1st and foremost.



so because a person is useless, you should lie to a child about who her father is? why dont you just tell this child:"this is your useless biological father who abandoned you at birth." et voila!

its funny how all of you people claim to be holier than thou people, yet do no follow what your holybooks brainwashes you to do. your Bibles/Qur'ans tell you to forgive and forget, but here you are as bitter individuals. lol!

Babaheekmat:
who would not want to

Tajbol4splend:
Legally if the guy had denied the pregnancy, does he still have the right to the girl?

poik:


I think I like the sound of this idea. At the end of the day the child must know her father. But then the man must also be punished for the negligence. Good idea.
Triple the actual amount and refuse to step down or no deal.

adanny01:


I get it, you are hurt and insulted by their actions.

However, dont make a fuss about it. The biological father has rights you dont have, so dont go down that way.

I suggest you guys sit her down and tell her. She will most probably wanna meet her dad, you better let her. She is not a lottle girl and you have done the best for her. If she appreciates, she will treat you guys as her first and only family. You cant force anything on her since she will in a few years have full right to choose where she lives.

Sit her down in a family meeting style and drop the news and tell her the family who want her now didn't want her when she was still in the womb and for the 16years of her life until now.

Tell her you are not letting her go, and would fight them with every thing you have but she has to decide to be with the only family she has ever know.

I trust that she will do the right thing. Most kids in such situations will just want to meet with their other family and get over the feeling of not knowing.

uruba23:
It is easy to judge the man and not the circumstances leading to the pregnancy. Anyway let the child know her father, most times the families won't say the real truth, no man normally would deny his kid if he is truly sure it is kid, except of course they are doubt's.

Mcbayo:
Give the girl to the rightful sperm donor jare