₦airaland Forum

Ilekokonit:
Words on marble.

Every man needs to learn from your write up above as their wife will exhibit one , all or even more of the above selfish and wicked traits at some point in the future but knowing what is coming your way before hand will help you SECRETLY save 90% of your money for yourself to fall back unto.

Or better still, as a man, stay single for as long as possible as marriage is a case of fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

NA MAN WEY NEVER SEE BETTER FIGHT DEY UNDER ESTIMATE THE EVIL RESIDENT IN ALL WOMEN.

Some will have to learn the hard way. When that happens, they will realise that ubunja, myself, you and others were not misogynist after all.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Must u type rubbish

oodua1stson:
Whatever you do for 90% of Nigerian woman is a waste.

They are never in love. Only in love with what we give to them

I've even heard that if a Nigerian woman does good to a man, she did so by mistake.

simonlee:
simple trick....

use a strange number to forward a text to your phone that reads "i will give you N20million and an oil company job if you divorce your wife and marry me"...
then see if she wouldn't go back to factory settings!

That's wisdom

funmisticqueen:
Lots of beautiful, single older women with children do not bother to remarry. Have you ever wondered why?

Peace of mind is more important than having some phallus around the house who thinks he's a 'good man' and God's gift to women.

Lol...don't take this the wrong way but from all your comments you seem really bitter with so much hate directed at men.

RisenPhoenix:
Your mistake was permitting her to become the breadwinner. When you experienced a downturn, you should have adjusted your family's standards of living down to comfortable levels accordingly, instead of using her own money to maintain that standard. Because you couldn't relinquish the good life, you have effectively relinquished control over your home. No matter how little you make, adjust your expenses to stay within that income. Do not touch her money under any circumstances.

Then that is not a committed marriage arrangement. They re supposed to be one flesh, her money is d man's money & so is d man's. It's just due to d wickedness of most men out there to women hence a woman now hides her money. If he has been truly & deeply loving, supportive & genuinely kind to her & she has turned against him dis way, it bad. He should move out & go hustle tight, when it improves he should find his happiness & love from another woman, & not go back to her. She doesn't deserve him.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Guy that's rather hash...the poor man needs encouragement and advice , his condition can happen to anyone

Elder010:
you are a foollllllllllll

Sharap! She isn't a fool, now d table has turned now, u re now call dis poster a fool.

Kampack:
I never wanted to comment on this post, but this your "forehead" part really cracked me up big time!

I also took a cursory look at her profile pic and noticed the ugly biitch had forehead like palmwine gourd

It's one of their very unique physical traits. Such women are usually extremely bitter. I think this one up there is an ogbanje if you look very closely . She also looks like a psychopath.

Op, please, by all means necessary get back on your feet. Hustle real hard and bounce back. Cheers

I de tell you Bros.
I have dated her type before. Apart from fvck, they have nothing upstairs. At least bf own still better, the set of people that are always at the bottom of the ladder are the men they marry.

rs172:
Try harder funmisticqueen

what have I missed?

Modyke:
How old are you?


Old enough to be your mother .... And yes, I'm married with teenage children.

How old are you? Nairaland is filled with little children.

Lol, tuuuuuueeeerhhhhh, and you still don't have sense.

Truthwillout:
I am Strungup79's wife and I have watched the drama here unfold in silence. Here is a copy of a message I just sent my husband on WhatsApp. I hope it will put things in clearer light.

I'll try to keep this brief. I started this year on a sour note, crying bitterly. Because of you total strangers called me bitch and all sorts of unprintable names. Some even went as far as saying I was diabolical and ¹reversed your fortunes with juju, and you basked in it all, all because of the lies you told them. You have repeatedly told your siblings the same lies. I emasculate you. Really? I emaaculate you yet i led my colleagues, our neighbours and practically everyone I know to believe that you are the breadwinner and doing a marvellous job. I emasculate you, yet when the rent needs to be paid, I pay it into your account first just so no one will know. I earn good money but no one knows it because everything goes into running this family. I don't save a dime. I NEVER complained about you not working these past 4 or 5 years. You complained about me spending a lot of time at my mum's place. I do that so that I can avoid the endless streams of alterations with you, and for other reasons I'll spare everyone here.

Every single time you bring this up, I reassure you that all I want is the best for you. I encourage you, fast and pray for you, yet I'm a bad wife. You actually called our daughter and told her I am a bad wife. She cried her eyes out when she told me all the nasty things you told her. I have never in the 10 years we've been married said anything disparaging to her about you despite your many short comings. You put me through hell and I just take in stride.

You also told your fans I had nothing when you married me. I had a job and I wasn't doing badly. In fact I practically funded our wedding with the help of my family. I could go on forever. Or is it the fact that you used to leave the house for days on end without communication, leaving me to wonder if you met with some misfortune or something. How many times did i show up at your office haggard and scared early in the morning just to confirm you are alright? I actually wear my younger sister's hand me downs just to save enough to keep this family going.

Your siblings all believe I am a bad person thanks to the endless lies you've told them and I've borne it all. During your last visit, you complained about the fact that I always seemed unhappy and heckled and I explained to you the stress I am under. Our rent is due. Our daughter's fees of over a hundred thousand needs to be paid. Utility bills, feeding...these are some of the burdens I have to deal with. I explained how burdened I felt. I also explained that having to clean up after you constantly worsens my stress. While you were here, I battled insomnia for almost two weeks straight, without compassion or help. I could fill a page with all that is wrong with this marriage. It's never you. You are perfect and righteous and I am a wicked woman. We quarrel like every husband and wife and regardless of whether it's my fault or not, I apologise so that peace will reign. I have suffered humiliation at your hands but you go around damaging my character so people will pity you. Guess what? The truth cannot be hidden. It may take time, but it will come out. I take solace in that.

I will beat my chest and tell you that no woman on this earth will bear what I bore at your hands or care for you like I have. Since you are so unhappy, I think you should take out time and find yourself. I also need time to pray and to heal from this emotional trauma, so please let's give ourselves a year at least to decide what to do next. I wish you the best.

please ma, create your thread in response to his thread, we all need to hear your side of the story.


internationalman RisenPhoenix martinez30 Elder010 MajorWarren ACE010 VERDA Success410 Csrockefeller hopexter Jyde89 sodiamond thaprofit88 DNSPro carter009 DJperdurabo AreaFada2 freshvine twhy111 jaafree B1ak3 Brainsanitizer jagaban002 gidjah michellekabod2 uninspired0i seun360 chewwie Afroknight fyneboi79 Ejerry Gbemishile1 Acidosis maasoap divineappo nnaeyes6 midnighter Thatredpillguy BluntBoy daveP BiiDii sayisy bns4eva chinchonglee idiagbo86 BadBradley Kennedyiheme Corperkola Duxomen Iamsmania Obason22 sylve11 zoghys DennisEche Sterope MrSly Classcaptain1 Realhonnie IgboSomalia tomdon augustine Jeweltz lyfeJennings Thunder lasts timpaul664 zcee Apination abutujj ADAMUdaCOWBOY donogaga SgtPonzihater1 bamirotola chancit MondayUche SimDan95 77up ideatoprine18 Gofwanne pennywys Depressed101 Plead 912 Chidex50 cindybaby22 BRATISLAVA ericsmith

funmisticqueen:
what have I missed?

You missed bringing out your brain from that big lips of yours.

rs172:
You missed bringing out your brain from that big lips of yours.

so the wife has answered.

Although I did not see the WhatsApp message she posted, I cannot fake a WhatsApp chat. Use your head na

uninspired07:
Oga OP, don’t post any further & go settle your issue with eminently qualified men of God & members of the family.

We don’t want both sides of the gender aisle tearing your marriage apart. There’s always a way to settle family feuds amicably.

Don’t even respond to your wife’s post on Nairaland. We have many crazy people here.

now you are trying to silence them?

He must finish what he started o

midnighter:
See? "doomed", "ever", "he will not be able to", "no other solution", "barring an outright miracle". Totally absolutist language where there is no need for it. Especially in marriage which is by definition a mish-mash of shifting circumstances and compromises.

So people only overcome marital difficulty when they are bestowed with a miracle? No discussion, airing of grievances, counselling, advising or even outright screaming and shouting? You are not saying the right thing at all.

Plenty of people were blunt with OP on this thread yet they didnt tell him to divorce. My grouse with you is not that you are extreme but that your extremism is directionless; it lacks nuance. Just like I was telling the Martinez fellow. Your point gets lost in the sea of irrelevant posturing youre doing not to help anybody but to force your own agenda.

And when somebody challenges you people on it you either ridicule the person or dismiss them as "not comprehending", because deep down you know your assertion was too fallacious to stand up to any real scrutiny.

What right do you have to tell somebody that their marriage of 13 years is doomed? Who gave you licence to assume that if they do recover, there wont be mutual respect? So nothing can ever change according to you, for the rest of their days? Neither of them can ever learn anything?

How can your primary interest be to "get him going financially once more" without taking his marriage into consideration? Dont you think that that was single-minded of you? Is divorce the only solution you could come up with?

The advice you give keeps missing the mark because you see things in black and white when in reality, all relationships are painted grey.

I do not believe in utopias like you seem to do. Nor do I engage in self deceit. Some relationships are obviously toxic, and there is no point throwing oneself wholehearedly into what is obviously a one sided farce. You can advice the op to go spend his little available money on counselling, but in my opinion, the respect is never going to come back. Women tend to be more clingy to a marriage concept, and more likely to have the romantic belief that a marriage can still be made to work. But I am a man and I know that before the op can come and state on SM that his wife has emasculated him, the relationship must be beyond repair. One doesn't have to use ambiguous terms to describe what is as glaring as the sun. But only time can tell, and I wish that you will be right, though I do not believe it.

And remember that inherently, white and black are themselves just the extreme ends of the different shades of grey.

Ardar:
No comment until I hear the woman's side of the story.

No woman will just suddenly start treating her husband that way without cause.

Nigerian men are something else.

I hope you're helping her with the house chores if there is no help? Who knows if the burden of both catering for the needs of the family and also cooking and cleaning is one of the issues here.

she has said her own side o

RisenPhoenix:
I do not believe in utopias like you seem to do. Nor do I engage in self deceit. Some relationships are obviously toxic, and there is no point throwing oneself wholehearedly into what is obviously a one sided farce. You can advice the op to go spend his little available money on counselling, but in my opinion, the respect is never going to come back. Women tend to be more clingy to a marriage concept, and more likely to have the romantic belief that a marriage can still be made to work. But I am a man and I know that before the op can come and state on SM that his wife has emasculated him, the relationship must be beyond repair. One doesn't have to use ambiguous terms to describe what is as glaring as the sun. But only time can tell, and I wish that you will be right, though I do not believe it.

And remember that inherently, white and black are themselves just the extreme ends of the different shades of grey.

the wife has replied o! Seems like the husband added orishirishi to his story o. Let me quote you

Thank you. Just seeing this.

uninspired07:
God will heal her. We are all hurt but we don’t become callous because of that.

The true beauty of a woman is in her character. What we men need from our wives & female lovers more than sex is support, respect & loyalty like our mothers give us. Any woman that can master these attributes will control her husband like mumu without being a feminist.

This is a new year & we don’t need all the hate.

I apologize to funministiqueen for calling her ugly. She’s God’s creature & she’s beautiful just the way she is.

funmisticqueen:
the wife has replied o! Seems like the husband added orishirishi to his story o. Let me quote you

shut up your ugly ass

rs172:
Lol, tuuuuuueeeerhhhhh, and you still don't have sense.

.

Your mother taught you to speak to your people that way, right? . My son said you sound like one of the junior students at his school but I doubt that cos I don't believe you have proper education or home training . . Your idea of sense is having someone stoop low to your childish level. Sad... Pls never get married or have kids, you'll be doing the world a disservice. I feel for your mother and sisters if you have any. You can respond if you like, I know you will cos I know your type, always seeking attention. Remain in your childish state, I'm done.

Kennedyiheme:
shut up your ugly ass

you owe me an apology.

Right now I am writing t the names of the over 200 people that owe me an apology for disturbing me since morning with insults. I will quote them today

Damn niggar!

May we not stay broke for too long.
Because brokenness is not of the Lord.

strungup79:
I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

hmmn....oga is ur mum alive? I asked cos women know how to waka for their loved ones. I think u should see a bible believing prophet and if ure a muslim, u should see an alfa. Women and their families that act this way have something up their sleeves

or maybe God wants to teach you a lesson. do we know how you treated her earlier in the marriage? plus then again, how are we sure you are not just amplifying what is happening to suit your mindset. maybe because you are idle , you are now beginning to read meaning into the way the bread was set on the table, or what time lunch finally came on sunday.

strungup79:
You are just like my wife. If marriage is about control, why marry? Why not stay on your own? Making money is not about hustling, if it was i'd be earning over three times what my wife earns. Luck, favour also plays a role. Maybe God just wants to show me who I married.

Amen

philip0906:
Lol...I was reading your comments and laughing.

You have definitely lost all hope. Don't give up on love yet, once you find love, all these bitterness, gnashing of teeth, wailing, tears & lamentations go end.

Many of your seniors in the game of men hate, have found love and have retired from the futile job of man hating. God go do your own.

Xcelentpedigree:
or maybe God wants to teach you a lesson. do we know how you treated her earlier in the marriage? plus then again, how are we sure you are not just amplifying what is happening to suit your mindset. maybe because you are idle , you are now beginning to read meaning into the way the bread was set on the table, or what time lunch finally came on sunday.

the wife has replied and what she said is very different

funmisticqueen:
Yes

oh really, and your husband is living with you in your 1room self contain; that is if you finally found one. a piece of advice, stay outta sensitive discussions if you've got nothing sensitive to say.

funmisticqueen:
please ma, create your thread in response to his thread, we all need to hear your side of the story.


internationalman RisenPhoenix martinez30 Elder010 MajorWarren

I am sorry but I am not interested in having more strangers curse and rail on me unjustly. This emotional upheaval is something I don't need. I will no longer respond to this thread. I'm leaving it all in God's hands. Thanks to all who are sincerely praying for the best for us. I wish you all peace.

DNSPro:
You dont need to say too much. I am same too but the worse mistake we can make is deprive ourselves the comfort and happiness we give others and deny ourselves same... It diminishes our values in the eyes of those we give it to than when the reverse is the case...


Some things happen for a reason... It was meant to show you whom you have been sacrificing for. Please go watch Tyler Perry's movies, I can't remember the name and you will see what you are experiencing in the movie.

In that movie, a guy married this lady, he wasn't financially buoyant but just getting by. Then he and his wife work in same company, I think the dude was a labourer in the construction company and his wife a secretary of sort. Then the son to the owner of the company picked interest in her and she started getting money more than her salary.

When her husband tries to touch her she avoids him, she was furking a white guy and avoiding her legally married husband.

At this stage the husband had no clue what was happening behind his back because he trusted her wholly. I mean, why shouldn't he?

The husband was a friend to TYLER Perry in the movie and Tyler got to find out what was happening and he told his friend. He was shocked and confronted her and she rebuked him. Out of anger, he slapped her so much that she fell behind a counter in her mother's shop.

Well to cut long story shut, table turned, white guy went back to his wife, her husband got his business running after moving out, the business he tried to present to the white guy who forked his wife but got declined.

She then tried to "form" love but dude refused. She also didn't know her own mother whom she insulted cos of the diick she was forking for trying to correct her was a shareholder in the said company.

At the end, she lost everything.

Do you want me to tell you what a girl said to me just to get rid of me, even when she is not financially better than I? But my God has always have a way of exposing useless elements in my life, and I MEAN ALWAYS in caps.

I prayed one night before going to bed... It was one of those deep prayers I often indulge in when my backs is against the wall because I am an orphan without any relative in high places to rescue me, no big man friend of sort.

It was this sort of prayer I did few years ago that made me my first millions but I was carried away and squandered it.

2 weeks later after that prayer a massive door opened in my life that had me shocked. Till this moment I still do not believe it.

If the door had opened while she was with me, I wouldn't know I was getting "fake love" and when I go down tomorrow, she will start acting like your wife.

A month after I have another business developed and its gaining interest from every organisation we have presented it to... They love the idea and all I can tell you is that my 2020 is made.

I have become humble because this not the first time God has saved me from what could have wrecked me had some misfortune(blessing in disguise) hadn't occur..

I am not a regular church goer, I am not a strong praying person but there are some prayers I have involved that got answered.

I do hope you can pick a lesson from this.

I want you to cry to God...i do not mean those unserious noisy prayers that people indulge in. I mean the silent kind that connects your soul,even when you are not moving lips but mind is speaking heavily. If you do not believe in God like some person's, speak whatever you want into your existence... Ask for ideas and direction, then go out and work like a mad man.

Also try to change the kind of people you hang out with. If everyone is always complaining around you, you will always complain. Make new friends with movers and those who make mountains move.

Can we talk? Pls, here is my email-angelezeus@yahoo.com

RisenPhoenix:
I do not believe in utopias like you seem to do. Nor do I engage in self deceit. Some relationships are obviously toxic, and there is no point throwing oneself wholehearedly into what is obviously a one sided farce. You can advice the op to go spend his little available money on counselling, but in my opinion, the respect is never going to come back. Women tend to be more clingy to a marriage concept, and more likely to have the romantic belief that a marriage can still be made to work. But I am a man and I know that before the op can come and state on SM that his wife has emasculated him, the relationship must be beyond repair. One doesn't have to use ambiguous terms to describe what is as glaring as the sun. But only time can tell, and I wish that you will be right, though I do not believe it.

And remember that inherently, white and black are themselves just the extreme ends of the different shades of grey.

Its not utopic fantasy to look holistically at a situation and see what factors could be adjusted in order to make things better overall.

If anybody believes in any "utopia" here, its you because you seem to believe that scrapping his marriage will suddenly make the OPs life perfect. What if it doesnt? Why throw the baby out with the bathwater, just because its not working out at the moment? What about the future?

This is not a clean-cut issue; thats what Im trying to explain to you. He cant just slice his wife off his life like a bundle of plantain from a tree. Try to be realistic.

You can see how you responded to that guy who accepted an unsuitable job because of the negative effects his unemployment was having on his home life. Let me guess, dem never born the woman who could influence you to take such a step, right? Thats why youre hell-bent on "enlightening" the guy on how his wife's expression of discomfort has somehow totally destroyed his entire life, even though hes not complaining smh.

What you cant seem to understand is that the person was still able to scale his difficulty, despite his mis-step. You want him to go railing at his wife over it, but he wont! Its not significant in comparison with other elements in his life...thats what you keep missing with your binary code way of reasoning. The 0.1s and 0.2s.

Its very funny that you immediately picked out counselling from all of my suggestions, just because it costs money. Doesnt divorce cost a lot of money? lmao. Apparently the OP has absolutely nobody he could talk to without coughing up the last of his savings, according to you. This conversation is just a gift that keeps on giving smh

There you go again! The relationship is beyond repair, when he never told you that his relationship is beyond repair! I wish I were talking to you face to face, this is hysterical. Where do you get all these projections and extrapolations from? Are you a meteorologist?

At least you've acknowledged that "only time can tell"; maybe I am finally getting somewhere because thats what Ive been trying to tell you.

If black and white are just the opposite ends of grey, why is it so difficult for you to acknowledge the vast array of shades between the two extremes?

Truthwillout:
I am sorry but I am not interested in having more strangers curse and rail on me unjustly. This emotional upheaval is something I don't need. I will no longer respond to this thread. I'm leaving it all in God's hands. Thanks to all who are sincerely praying for the best for us. I wish you all peace.

I wish you and your family peace and happiness. Happy New year ma.