₦airaland Forum

funmisticqueen:
So you don't want kids

lol naah.. even if i change my mind later on in life when I'm 90 years old . I can still get a woman pregnant... one of the blessings of being a man

imanray37:
Sometimes a woman with success is a recipe for heartache and pain for a man

This is why some men marry their humble illiterate househelp and one of the reasons I will always empower myself with 90% of my earnings before even thinking of helping any woman financially.

funmisticqueen:
marriage is not about control. Money is what gives control. Stop misquoting me from your place of pain.

Also stop this 'poor me' 'boohoo' victim mentality, it is irritating and pathetic. You are the one emasculating yourself, by allowing yourself to be emasculated.

Most likely money was all you had to offer in the marriage and now that you have lost that, you are just like an appendix in your marriage. Existing without function, but capable of causing hell because no one cares about it anymore.

It is not about bringing more money but showing that you are a leader, and being her support. Give her a reason to trust you by showing initiative. Do you think women like to be bread winners? She is picking up your slack.Of course She will be pissed at you subconsciously.

Be proactive, anticipate needs in the marriage that you can provide and meet them without being told or nagged. Convince her that you are still necessary in your marriage. Get your head out of your asshole and be man.


This is the most candid advice you will get from me or on your thread

oloriburuku anufia yeye woman may u not be destroyed

strungup79:
I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

Omo alailowo lomo olomo - The child of a poor man is another mans child.

Aya alailowo laya alaya - The wife of a poor man is another mans wife.

Before you are subject to EVEN MORE open ridicule in front of your children thereby causing long lasting damage to how those kids see you, leave that house for her and her family.

Once you are back on your feet, you MAY take her back.

Depart from that woman who hates you for reasons best known to her.

Move far away from her with just some few clothes and your laptop. Rent a room somewhere and focus 110% on your business and at the same time apply for 20 jobs a day and don't waste time checking up on her or the kids for now 'cos if you die of high blood pressure today, the woman and kids will move on with their lives.

She has turned the 3 kids against you already by your own admission so what are you still doing in that house ??

Wake up from your slumber and leave that house even if its in the middle of the night to avoid drama.

Truthwillout:
I am Strungup79's wife and I have watched the drama here unfold in silence. Here is a copy of a message I just sent my husband on WhatsApp. I hope it will put things in clearer light.

I'll try to keep this brief. I started this year on a sour note, crying bitterly. Because of you total strangers called me bitch and all sorts of unprintable names. Some even went as far as saying I was diabolical and ¹reversed your fortunes with juju, and you basked in it all, all because of the lies you told them. You have repeatedly told your siblings the same lies. I emasculate you. Really? I emaaculate you yet i led my colleagues, our neighbours and practically everyone I know to believe that you are the breadwinner and doing a marvellous job. I emasculate you, yet when the rent needs to be paid, I pay it into your account first just so no one will know. I earn good money but no one knows it because everything goes into running this family. I don't save a dime. I NEVER complained about you not working these past 4 or 5 years. You complained about me spending a lot of time at my mum's place. I do that so that I can avoid the endless streams of alterations with you, and for other reasons I'll spare everyone here.

Every single time you bring this up, I reassure you that all I want is the best for you. I encourage you, fast and pray for you, yet I'm a bad wife. You actually called our daughter and told her I am a bad wife. She cried her eyes out when she told me all the nasty things you told her. I have never in the 10 years we've been married said anything disparaging to her about you despite your many short comings. You put me through hell and I just take in stride.

You also told your fans I had nothing when you married me. I had a job and I wasn't doing badly. In fact I practically funded our wedding with the help of my family. I could go on forever. Or is it the fact that you used to leave the house for days on end without communication, leaving me to wonder if you met with some misfortune or something. How many times did i show up at your office haggard and scared early in the morning just to confirm you are alright? I actually wear my younger sister's hand me downs just to save enough to keep this family going.

Your siblings all believe I am a bad person thanks to the endless lies you've told them and I've borne it all. During your last visit, you complained about the fact that I always seemed unhappy and heckled and I explained to you the stress I am under. Our rent is due. Our daughter's fees of over a hundred thousand needs to be paid. Utility bills, feeding...these are some of the burdens I have to deal with. I explained how burdened I felt. I also explained that having to clean up after you constantly worsens my stress. While you were here, I battled insomnia for almost two weeks straight, without compassion or help. I could fill a page with all that is wrong with this marriage. It's never you. You are perfect and righteous and I am a wicked woman. We quarrel like every husband and wife and regardless of whether it's my fault or not, I apologise so that peace will reign. I have suffered humiliation at your hands but you go around damaging my character so people will pity you. Guess what? The truth cannot be hidden. It may take time, but it will come out. I take solace in that.

I will beat my chest and tell you that no woman on this earth will bear what I bore at your hands or care for you like I have. Since you are so unhappy, I think you should take out time and find yourself. I also need time to pray and to heal from this emotional trauma, so please let's give ourselves a year at least to decide what to do next. I wish you the best.

wait o, this is his wife? Oh dear!, please madam ,do well to create a thread, you deserve to say your truth. Na wah o ,some men sha ,smh

uninspired07:
Who will marry that ugly mutete? Can’t you see she’s bitter because she’s passed her prime?

The fact that she’s ugly & still proud boggles the mind.

I actually thought she was a pretty woman due to her pride but I was left flabbergasted when her picture revealed that she’s an ugly individual with a dark soul. I now perfectly understand her bitterness at menfolk. I think she needs a shrink fast!!!

...What is wrong with you? Cant you disagree with somebody without rambling on like a village drunkard?

Wtf I actually thought you were slightly sensible reading through your population thread but youre even worse than the majority of the illiterates here

GogobiriLalas:
you think men are wicked and heartless? Lol wait till your woman makes more money than you do.

That said, once you observe that your wealthier wife/gf has started acting out the natural bent of her sex I.e. meanness and disrespectfulness, your response as a man is to move out immediately!

Move as far from that home as you can or else that woman will drag you and your children in the mire of humiliation...better for her to tell your children that she doesn't know where you are, than for her to call you a useless father to you and your children's faces.

Now this is first class wisdom.

uninspired07:
There’s really wisdom in hearing both sides of a dispute before passing judgment.

I think at this point, OP should not post any reply to the his wife’s response to this post. He should take the initiative as the man of the house to settle this in house. We don’t want strangers passing judgment on his wife—further exacerbating the problem.

oh shut up already ,you have been gyrating on this thread like a rabied dog . , stop sparying your contaminated saliva everywhere na shuo

Kampack:
I never wanted to comment on this post, but this your "forehead" part really cracked me up big time!

I also took a cursory look at her profile pic and noticed the ugly biitch had forehead like palmwine gourd

It's one of their very unique physical traits. Such women are usually extremely bitter. But I think this one up there is an ogbanje if you look very closely . She also looks like a psychopath.

Op, please, by all means necessary get back on your feet. Hustle real hard and bounce back. Cheers

Lol. Una no go kill me with laughter this new year ooo

midnighter:
...What is wrong with you? Cant you disagree with somebody without rambling on like a village drunkard?

Wtf I actually thought you were slightly sensible reading through your population thread but youre even worse than the majority of the illiterates here

Ok. You’ve been noticed.

Jyde89:
wow, just read the wife's response now and I although didn't type it sincerely regret misjudging her. I advice the both of them to part ways for sanity sake.

Part ways? Can’t they try to resolve the issue?

Truthwillout:
I am sorry but I am not interested in having more strangers curse and rail on me unjustly. This emotional upheaval is something I don't need. I will no longer respond to this thread. I'm leaving it all in God's hands. Thanks to all who are sincerely praying for the best for us. I wish you all peace.

oh my ,i feel sad for your situation ,this is another form of gas lighting . if you want i can recommend a Youtube channel for you. Just so you know who you are dealing with.There are different types of narcissists i think i can deduce which one your husband falls into.

I am not going to tell you what to do about your marriage, One thing is sure tho, narcissists don't change. Search for "types of narcissists" on youtube and also search for "gas lighting" maybe then you will get clarity for what exactly you are dealing with.

uninspired07:
Ok. You’ve been noticed.

And so have you, unfortunately because I keep being assaulted by your vulgar and otiose posts on every page smh

uninspired indeed smh

If there’s one thing I learnt from this thread, it is that insulting women based on their looks gets to them regardless of their pretentions.

I will refrain from attacking them personally as it hurts them deeply.

midnighter:
And so have you, unfortunately because I keep being assaulted by your vulgar and otiose posts on every page smh

uninspired indeed smh

Who are you again? Remind me, please.

simonlee:
simple trick....

use a strange number to forward a text to your phone that reads "i will give you N20million and an oil company job if you divorce your wife and marry me"...
then see if she wouldn't go back to factory settings!

The best solution ever

Lmao. What is wrong with being average looking??No matter how I dislike a person I don’t jump to personal attacks, I just attack their idea. I don’t really like most her comments but I would never call her ‘ugly’ because of that. Don’t you know it is good to have divergent views to a particular discuss We all shouldn’t be saying the same things. I appreciate her view to the subject matter but don’t necessarily agree with them. I believe we all can get along without personal attacks. God bless.

uninspired07:
That funministique girl is so ugly that I am utterly disappointed that such a creature has tormented this forum for years unend.

Her picture/image is perfect justification for why she’s bitter. I will be circumspect to take the comments of these feminists to heart going forward since it’s clear that most of them are suffering from one defect or another.

Very despicable & deplorable set of individuals who have polluted our cyberspace with their feminist poison.

DCmonster:
Presently my fiancee earns more than me and lives in her own house, but she never gives me bullshit because we are together for partnership and companionship and no other reason.

Bros, she needs you to marry her first before she shows you that she feels higher than you or tell you to your face that you are lazy because she earns more than you.

Its the uncomfortable truth but if you doubt me, tell her you have lost your source of income and CAREFULLY watch what she does and says and how she acts towards you.

They are all the same and they show you so much love when they need you to marry them and they ALL change for the worse after marriage. Sad but true.

If you get married to her PLEASE don't make the mistake of moving into a womans house as thats another kettle of see finish altogether and she and her family will insult and disrespect you as they will tell you its her house afterall.

Make sure she moves to your own place after marriage even if you are renting a single room. Thank me later.

oshaosha2014:
Lmao. What is wrong with being average looking??No matter how I dislike a person I don’t jump to personal attacks, I just attack their idea. I don’t really like most her comments but I would never call her ‘ugly’ because of that. Don’t you know it is good to have divergent views to a particular discuss We all shouldn’t be saying the same things. I appreciate her view to the subject matter but don’t necessarily agree with them. I believe we all can get along without personal attacks. God bless.

Bro, I apologized to her earlier because I realized my comments got to her but for some inexplicable reason, i just feel catharsis knowing I hurt her today because she’s a very vile woman.

I am sure she will reconsider her online conduct & strange ideologies going forward.

Go and sin no more. Please don’t call her ugly again.

uninspired07:
God will heal her. We are all hurt but we don’t become callous because of that.

The true beauty of a woman is in her character. What we men need from our wives & female lovers more than sex is support, respect & loyalty like our mothers give us. Any woman that can master these attributes will control her husband like mumu without being a feminist.

This is a new year & we don’t need all the hate.

I apologize to funministiqueen for calling her ugly. She’s God’s creature & she’s beautiful just the way she is.

Good, bro.

uninspired07:
Bro, I apologized to her earlier because I realized my comments got to her but for some inexplicable reason, i just feel catharsis knowing I hurt her today because she’s a very vile woman.

I am sure she will reconsider her online conduct & strange ideologies going forward.

Martinez39:
You also forgot that funmisticqueen once opened a thread advising women to cut of the d!ck of their cheating husbands, poison them slowly, or go diabolical. She is really a horrible person. Don't be fooled by her posts that give excuses or explain away her toxicity

And Funmisticqueen is supposed to be a Medical Doctor ??

A Medical Doctor advocating poisoning fellow humans or going Diabolical

I pity her hapless patients.

It wouldn't surprise me since 20% or more of Medical Students cheated their way through Medical School Exams.

A Doctor that dares mention poisoning another human being on a public forum in a Western country will pay for it by having their licence suspended or revoked especially with the recent cases of medics in the West intentionally poisoning and killing patients in their care. Google Dr Harold Shipman.

And the hapless Funmisticqueen even has her photograph on her profile so she is easily identifiable as a Potential Killer Doctor who can start poisoning men in her medical care out of hatred.

She is lucky Nigerian's have too much on their plates to deal with 'cos if this were a Westernised country, their equivalent of the Nigerian Medical Association will have received loads of complaints about the potential killer Doctor on the loose.

Funmisticqueen if you are smart enough to value the 6 or more years you spent in Med school, take down your profile picture before you advocate cutting off men's willies or poisoning them 'cos someone who is entrusted to caring for and saving lives should not be spewing such physical harm of intentional poisoning of potential patients.

This is a public forum and with your face clearly showing on your profile, you don't want to be reported to the Nigerian Medical Association.

I would act fast in removing my picture from my profile if I were you. You are a medic for crying out loud.

Person wey dey cry still dey see road o. Don't put your job and career on the line. You are still very, very young.

Yinibixema:
Olosho stfu. Ugly fool who can’t take her family out of okokomaiko talking about making money as if she has mademoney for herself or her wretched family. Go and make money and stop giving foolish advice here mofo

Na so dem dey do o.

DCmonster:
Presently my fiancee earns more than me and lives in her own house, but she never gives me bullshit because we are together for partnership and companionship and no other reason.

Lolz, she needs DT ring bruv.....she won't be stewpid to jeopardize it for anything!
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Ilekokonit:
Bros, she needs you to marry her first before she shows you that she feels higher than you or tell you to your face that you are lazy because she earns more than you.

Kpakam! U tk d words right outs my mouth

Its the uncomfortable truth but if you doubt me, tell her you have lost your source of income and CAREFULLY watch what she does and says and how she acts towards you.

Though there may be slight changes in attitude from her towards him, but it won't be made as obvious as when they are already married

During courtship, she'll still try to camouflage her feelings, but let her get d ring, na dt tyme tory go change.

They are all the same and they show you so much love when they need you to marry them and they ALL change for the worse after marriage. Sad but true.

We may need to cut them some slack. We men must realise dt women are not 'genetically built' to be the head/provider of the home- its d man's forte. Women can't deal with such pressure.

Everyman shd just pray hard dt he doesn't find himself in such situations where he has to look up to his wife for sustenance.

Ilekokonit:
And you say she is a Doctor ??

A Doctor advocating poisoning fellow humans or going Diabolical

I pity her hapless patients.

It wouldn't surprise me since 20% or more of Medical Students cheated their way through Medical School Exams.

A Doctor that dares mention poisoning another human being on a public forum in a Western country will pay for it by having their licence suspended or revoked especially with the recent cases of medics in the West intentionally poisoning and killing patients in their care. Google Dr Harold Shipman.

That’s why the NMA has to swing into action & withdraw the license of the subject here.

I will have to google NMA’s emails & author a petition.

This is why it is good to be patient enough to hear from the other side, then the truth present itself from the two opposing arguments. Thank you for your response ma’am. God bless your home with the strength to forgive and be there for each, not because only because of the kid, also for a blissful marriage which you both deserve. Happy new year.

Truthwillout:
I am Strungup79's wife and I have watched the drama here unfold in silence. Here is a copy of a message I just sent my husband on WhatsApp. I hope it will put things in clearer light.

I'll try to keep this brief. I started this year on a sour note, crying bitterly. Because of you total strangers called me bitch and all sorts of unprintable names. Some even went as far as saying I was diabolical and ¹reversed your fortunes with juju, and you basked in it all, all because of the lies you told them. You have repeatedly told your siblings the same lies. I emasculate you. Really? I emaaculate you yet i led my colleagues, our neighbours and practically everyone I know to believe that you are the breadwinner and doing a marvellous job. I emasculate you, yet when the rent needs to be paid, I pay it into your account first just so no one will know. I earn good money but no one knows it because everything goes into running this family. I don't save a dime. I NEVER complained about you not working these past 4 or 5 years. You complained about me spending a lot of time at my mum's place. I do that so that I can avoid the endless streams of alterations with you, and for other reasons I'll spare everyone here.

Every single time you bring this up, I reassure you that all I want is the best for you. I encourage you, fast and pray for you, yet I'm a bad wife. You actually called our daughter and told her I am a bad wife. She cried her eyes out when she told me all the nasty things you told her. I have never in the 10 years we've been married said anything disparaging to her about you despite your many short comings. You put me through hell and I just take in stride.

You also told your fans I had nothing when you married me. I had a job and I wasn't doing badly. In fact I practically funded our wedding with the help of my family. I could go on forever. Or is it the fact that you used to leave the house for days on end without communication, leaving me to wonder if you met with some misfortune or something. How many times did i show up at your office haggard and scared early in the morning just to confirm you are alright? I actually wear my younger sister's hand me downs just to save enough to keep this family going.

Your siblings all believe I am a bad person thanks to the endless lies you've told them and I've borne it all. During your last visit, you complained about the fact that I always seemed unhappy and heckled and I explained to you the stress I am under. Our rent is due. Our daughter's fees of over a hundred thousand needs to be paid. Utility bills, feeding...these are some of the burdens I have to deal with. I explained how burdened I felt. I also explained that having to clean up after you constantly worsens my stress. While you were here, I battled insomnia for almost two weeks straight, without compassion or help. I could fill a page with all that is wrong with this marriage. It's never you. You are perfect and righteous and I am a wicked woman. We quarrel like every husband and wife and regardless of whether it's my fault or not, I apologise so that peace will reign. I have suffered humiliation at your hands but you go around damaging my character so people will pity you. Guess what? The truth cannot be hidden. It may take time, but it will come out. I take solace in that.

I will beat my chest and tell you that no woman on this earth will bear what I bore at your hands or care for you like I have. Since you are so unhappy, I think you should take out time and find yourself. I also need time to pray and to heal from this emotional trauma, so please let's give ourselves a year at least to decide what to do next. I wish you the best.

strungup79:
And favour/luck has no part to play? May you not work like an Elephant and eat like an ant.

This is clearly why your wife has turned against you. You are belittling her achievements by attributing it to favour and luck instead of acknowledging the efforts and hard work she actually put in to arrive where she is now.

You seem to also have an entitled mentality by expecting her to be nice to you just because you were nice to her in the past. Unfortunately, most humans aren't designed to function this way. Humans are naturally selfish and would think about self before any other consideration. Its how the specie have survived and thrived over the ages.

Yes you were nice to her but you would agree that there may have been some selfish undertone . I dare say that you were also doing that to satisfy some selfish cravings to own another human being or "my beautiful wife" as your put it.

Again, one would also want to believe that your wife bowed to you while you were lord of the manor. May be its time to also swallow your pride and let her dictate the tune now that she pays the piper.

Clearly, you've had your time in the sun and now that it's her turn to shine, you wouldn't want to be seen as being in her her.

So let go of your siege mentality and try to step up your game or you lay low and let her bask in adulation and fame that her breakthrough has brought on her.

Curvinus:
This is clearly why your wife has turned against you. You are belittling her achievements by attributing it to favour and luck instead of acknowledging the efforts and hard work she actually put in to arrive where she is now.

You seem to also have an entitled mentality by expecting her to be nice to you just because you were nice to her in the past. Unfortunately, most humans aren't designed to function this way. Humans are naturally selfish and would think about self before any other consideration. Its how the specie have survived and thrived over the ages.

Yes you were nice to her but you would agree that there may have been some selfish undertone . I dare say that you were also doing that to satisfy some selfish cravings to own another human being or "my beautiful wife" as your put it.

Again, one would also want to believe that your wife bowed to you while you were lord of the manor. May be its time to also swallow your pride and let her dictate the tune now that she pays the piper.

Clearly, you've had your time in the sun and now that it's her turn to shine, you wouldn't want to be seen as being in her her.

So let go of your siege mentality and try to step up your game or you lay low and let her bask in adulation and fame that her breakthrough has brought on her.

What kind of advice is this? Are they not supposed to be a team? Or do I have my understanding of marriage all mixed up cos I am confused with some of the advice I am seeing on this forum.

Op should settle his marital issue in house because we have different kind of people online whose advice will likely not bode well for his marriage.

Your kind? No, please let your kind come and impregnate us. Kind ko, kinda ni.

funmisticqueen:
use the male birth control and be sterile for 13 years please. We don't want you impregnating our kind

Cadillac15:
I have a funny feeling that the OP and the woman claiming to be his wife are not related in reality.

This forum is anonymous and there are thousands if not millions of issues bearing similar background in Nigerian marriages today.

This might just be a case of mistaken identity.

I also wonder o. There are similar marital issues among many couples out there. I have seen many here on NL that sound just like people I know in real life. But not them.

Unless madam saw/spied on his device and is 100% sure.

That one is sick.

uninspired07:
What kind of advice is this? Are they not supposed to be a team? Or do I have my understanding of marriage all mixed up cos I am confused with some of the advice I am seeing on this forum.

Op should settle his marital issue in house because we have different kind of people online whose advice will likely not bode well for his marriage.

oshaosha2014:
That one is sick.

Sure, seems so.