₦airaland Forum

bukatyne:
I was shocked a lot of posters think children should share same bed with their parents in a normal marriage.

Prosper82:
I appreciate all the helpful and advice / criticism. It's what I needed from you all.

I cook 40% of the time. I always do the laundry, and wash the dishes at least half of the time. Whenever possible I take our oldest out so she can get a break from at least one of the kids.

The truth is that Something my wife does frequently is she will say something implying that we will have sex after she put the children to bed then when the moment comes she will either just ignore it and not act on what she said earlier or she will come up with some reason not to have sex.

The other day she said she would come over to me, but fell asleep with the kids, and I don't feel like waking her up to come have sex with me. she's a full time house wife and I realize she's super exhausted taking care of the house and two kids all day.

Last night I came back from work she straight up say we should have sex later and I helped out bathing our baby . Then she started cooking , while I had the kids. When she was done she took the kids to bed and I started ironing our clothes. After the kids fell asleep she came out cleaned the living room while I was still ironing . By the time we were done, it was 9.30pm Apparently, she wanted sex but at the same time she was on the phone with her sister. I was exhausted so I just went to bed. And that's how it goes.

I'm not entirely against attachment parenting, but the co-sleeping part has honestly created some resentment in me. Maybe I'm being selfish for feeling this way, but I feel relegated. She's a great mother, and I'm really lucky that my children have such a loving and caring mother. I just wish our marriage was a little bit like it was before having any kids. I guess, as some of you have said, I haven't fully realized what it means to adapt to parenthood.

Prosper82:
I Feel Like My Marriage Is Falling Apart

I would like in advance to apologize for the long post but I think some background information is needed so you can assess the situation.

My wife and I have two kids. The oldest is turning 8 soon and the youngest is 7 months old.

Since our first child was born she has been co-sleeping with us. And ever since our sex life has been going down hill.

Now since our youngest child was born he has also been sleeping with us in a queen sized bed. But after two months of very poor sleep, I decided I couldn't follow that arrangement anymore so I went to sleep in the next room.

So since our kids were born my wife has been sleeping with them and now I sleep alone.

As you could imagine, you can't really have sex with two kids on the bed. We have gone weeks and even months without having any sex.
So my wife says that we should have sex in the room where I sleep after she puts the children to sleep.

This to me sounds like making an appointment to have sex. It isn't something you can have if you have to set up a time in advanced. I also miss cuddling with her and sleeping in our bed.


I feel like us sleeping in different rooms and beds has been the biggest hurdle to get back to the point we were before having kids.

We have a crib for the baby and a bed for our oldest daughter where each of the children could sleep separately but she's into attachment parenting so if the children cry (which I suppose they will when adapting to a new sleeping arrangement) is something that she wouldn't tolerate.

I also I understand the 7 month old might need to be breastfed in the middle of the night so she says it's more convenient just to have him nearby in bed than having to get up to breastfeed him but I feel that my daughter should be learning to sleep independently.

Anyway, it's been quite a while without sex and I don't know what to tell her or do.
We have a lot of fights because of this.

I feel that attachment parenting might feel like you're doing the best for the kids, but if it also ends up destroying the marriage and we separate what good would that do for them?

What do you guys think?

GGirll:
Why don't you become his side chick? Home breaker better get sense this year cos many diseases abound non sense girl.

fuzzywuzzy:
She likes the validation she gets from men, just read her posts and pass.

Afrikween:
shut up you dumb cunt..... don’t even know when someone is being sarcastic.....puta madrefuka

nisah:
Best comment I read on this thread.

koyyes:
To think I used to like her comments before. I don't know what later happened to her.

Pity.

GGirll:
you can't speak like that in a delicate matter as this and call it being sarcastic....don't know your level of education though.

CAPSLOCKED:
your favorite spot should be included. inside a well.

Prosper82:
I appreciate all the helpful and advice / criticism. It's what I needed from you all.

I cook 40% of the time. I always do the laundry, and wash the dishes at least half of the time. Whenever possible I take our oldest out so she can get a break from at least one of the kids.

The truth is that Something my wife does frequently is she will say something implying that we will have sex after she put the children to bed then when the moment comes she will either just ignore it and not act on what she said earlier or she will come up with some reason not to have sex.

The other day she said she would come over to me, but fell asleep with the kids, and I don't feel like waking her up to come have sex with me. she's a full time house wife and I realize she's super exhausted taking care of the house and two kids all day.

Last night I came back from work she straight up say we should have sex later and I helped out bathing our baby . Then she started cooking , while I had the kids. When she was done she took the kids to bed and I started ironing our clothes. After the kids fell asleep she came out cleaned the living room while I was still ironing . By the time we were done, it was 9.30pm Apparently, she wanted sex but at the same time she was on the phone with her sister. I was exhausted so I just went to bed. And that's how it goes.

I'm not entirely against attachment parenting, but the co-sleeping part has honestly created some resentment in me. Maybe I'm being selfish for feeling this way, but I feel relegated. She's a great mother, and I'm really lucky that my children have such a loving and caring mother. I just wish our marriage was a little bit like it was before having any kids. I guess, as some of you have said, I haven't fully realized what it means to adapt to parenthood.

fuzzywuzzy:
She's not getting any attention in real life so she needs to do this. And women on NL don't praise or 'like' posts like men do.....

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

Lolo24:
You took the words out of my big head. Imagine what a grown man posted

bukatyne:
You have no inkling about what marriage is.

By the time the husband grows cold and gets used to surviving the marriage emotionally without her, I hope she marries those kids.

If she not behaving like Alpha & Omega over those kids, she would actually get her husband to be more participatory if it is an issue.

Belafonte:
It’s important to read and understand what you are responding to before your actual response.

Someone complained of two months of “very poor sleep”, but you don’t think it’s sufficient reason enough to seek other sleeping arrangements.

Secondly, he hasn’t said he’s not been parenting. Wtf

ImaIma1:
5 year?? . What hapun?

234GT:
You are the STUPID person here, not the OP. The man loves his wife, that is why he is complaining. Sex is over available these days. If sex is his problem, he can get it outside, with girls that will even give him much better sex than his wife, for cheap too.
The wife is more stupid than you because her dead brain does not know that she is pushing the man outside.

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

godliman:
You know what I think about your post? You spoke the truth rashly. Rash truth can cause a fight just like soft insults

Vortex369:
Well, your last line was a question: What I think?

Are you sure you really want to know what I think?

Since you asked for it, then I have to tell you what I think and the reason for my conclusions.

I think you are stupid, and I am not joking. I think you are one of the stupid husbands who have no idea what Fatherhood means and what being a real man in your home entails and how to be a husband to your own wife.

The reason I think you are stupid, is because at this stage in your Life, when your wife is strugggling real hard to bond with the young kids you still are worried about your silly sex life.

You have failed to be an alpha male, a real man, a true husband, who will cuddle his wife and his children and generate happiness for your wife. What bothers you is sex. Do you have any idea that it is sex that brought those children to this world, and when they come, you now sound as if those kids are inconvenience for your silly sex life. Do you even know how silly it sounds?

My advise is that you grow up. Call your wife and kiss her then apologize for complaining about Sex, and move into your bedroom and nurse those children to reach an age of grace.

It is not you that should be complaining of sex dimwit. If your wife needs sex, then become creative, you can make move in the kitchen, bathroom, toilet, under the bed and even at the BQ for a change.

You must not come here and lament about this nonsense again.

Do we not have real men again in this forum that will chastise these Indomie men?

Take charge of your home and bear all inconveniences. Life is not a place for perfect joy and happiness. Embrace the sorrows and pains.

Daughterboard:
So a man must suffer in marriage to proof his manhood. Well done Mr. Solo

djon78:
I wonder why many people were criticizing and insulting the op. A baby right from time is meant to sleep in his/her crib.
All this sleeping with children isn't right.
Those supporting it are primitive.
Husband and wife must have there time to themselves. Bringing a child into the mix is wrong. children should learn how to stay in there space and be independent.

I personally will not tolerate that. There must be space and it's meant to be respected.

Cutehector:
very stupid I must join you to say

Uyi168:
..
Dormo boss..

Prosper82:
I appreciate all the helpful and advice / criticism. It's what I needed from you all.

I cook 40% of the time. I always do the laundry, and wash the dishes at least half of the time. Whenever possible I take our oldest out so she can get a break from at least one of the kids.

The truth is that Something my wife does frequently is she will say something implying that we will have sex after she put the children to bed then when the moment comes she will either just ignore it and not act on what she said earlier or she will come up with some reason not to have sex.

The other day she said she would come over to me, but fell asleep with the kids, and I don't feel like waking her up to come have sex with me. she's a full time house wife and I realize she's super exhausted taking care of the house and two kids all day.

Last night I came back from work she straight up say we should have sex later and I helped out bathing our baby . Then she started cooking , while I had the kids. When she was done she took the kids to bed and I started ironing our clothes. After the kids fell asleep she came out cleaned the living room while I was still ironing . By the time we were done, it was 9.30pm Apparently, she wanted sex but at the same time she was on the phone with her sister. I was exhausted so I just went to bed. And that's how it goes.

I'm not entirely against attachment parenting, but the co-sleeping part has honestly created some resentment in me. Maybe I'm being selfish for feeling this way, but I feel relegated. She's a great mother, and I'm really lucky that my children have such a loving and caring mother. I just wish our marriage was a little bit like it was before having any kids. I guess, as some of you have said, I haven't fully realized what it means to adapt to parenthood.

Vortex369:
No one can insult me more than I insult myself. I am an insult personified, that is why I am graduating from being human to something better than mere mortals. But the latency of truth stays sacrosanct in the face of vocal idiotic terrorism authored by a cyber collective of nobodies.

sisisioge:
Which ones ? Biko follow us on IG @Milares_kitchen biko. I'm looking for followers.

Afrikween:
Girl you stupid gan walai.... and for your information I’m a graduate of fine arts from the University of Nigeria Nsukka.