I’m 34 years old married with 3 kids, I’m an SSCE holder. I used to work as a chauffeur for this wealthy family for 8 years have been with this family and we become like a family , unfortunately my job ended last year July when my boss relocated his family to Canada because he is a kind hearted man and he compensated me with 300k to start up biz. I did not want my wife to know that my job has ended so I spoke with my elder sister , who is a business woman, she lives in Benin republic to help me with ideas of a profitable biz that will help me to still be able to foot in the bills , she suggested clothing biz and requested 200k for the goods , I sent her the money the next day and she promised me that I will be receiving the goods in a month. I was relieved that soon I will start up something to still be of taking care of my family. My wife knew nothing about it because I did not want her to start worrying about taking all the responsibilities by her own because she developed blood pressure when she had our last child , telling her about my job would have affected her health . I taught when I receive the goods by then she will not feel bad. I kept leaving the house as usual in the morning, just like I was going to work for my wife not to suspect anything. To cut the long story short my sister duped and blocked me , haven’t heard from her since and my wife came to know about everything , she sent my niece (my sister daughter )out of our house and she has been making life miserable for me. She doesn’t respect me ,even my children have no single respect for me. I know that I have wronged her by not informing her about the money but it was a mistake which I’m regretting till now , I can’t forgive myself but the pain and the insults I receive from her every single day , it’s unbearable. I cry every day with no hope , I go out every day searching for jobs and coming back late in the evening when she is already in bed to avoid being insulted by her and I leave early morning before she wakes up, I sleep in the parlour , she gives me food whenever she want , sometimes she only prepare for just her and the kids. Our rent expired on December I suggested that she shouldn’t renewed it , so she can use the money for the kids school fees meanwhile we can move back to my mother house till I can get back on my feet , she insults me including my poor mother, just because I’m poor and she foot all the bills , she doesn’t want to respect me anymore. I was thinking about moving back to my mother house until I get a job then I can move back with her again because living in the same house with her is leading me to suicide . I kindly seek for your advice

If an average Nigerian non-virgin lady can comfortably choose a rich Chimpanzee over her father because of money, who are you not to get insulted because of your broke state?

You fvcked up by not letting your wife know that you've stopped working. It made no sense, but still, that shouldn't warrant such behavior from someone who you call a "WIFE".

-Your sister duped you.
-Your kids don't respect you[Possibly, their minds have been poisoned by their mother]
-Your wife insults you and doesn't respect you.

Nwanne, if you don't take time, you'll wake one day and see yourself chilling with your ancestors, as a result of being dead.

I'll advise you to travel. Travel from that hell of a house straight to your mum, explain everything and stay with her a bit to sketch out your plans. He's the only woman on earth right now who can accept you the way you are.

You aren't traveling because you are a coward or because you don't love your family, but because you need PEACE. All you need now is peace, not unnecessarily pressure, before thinking straight on how and what to do to salvage this your horrible state of financial quagmire.

Once RABA no dey again which woman go respect you very soon she will lock her phussy

The only option left for you now is to turn things around through hustling and prayers, because once woman becomes the breadwinner of the family e dey dey very hard for her to respect you.

she will even turn all your children against you and your value will drop like wema bank shares

Duped by sister and disrespected by wife....woke ni fe.

Lol.

We have to open a court section on nairaland where we will be judging these cases.

Every day, we hear one person's story and they expect us to say something objectively

mrphysics:
Lol.

We have to open a court section on nairaland where we will be judging these cases.

Every day, we hear one person's story and they expect us to say something objectively

Something like Judge Judy or judge Rinder

I'm so sorry about your plight. The mistake you made was not going through your wife at first. If your wife is decent and responsible, she would have given you better business idea or better still invest the money in her (like a business for her). As for your sister, she is very wicked and heartless to even do such knowing what you are going through. This life is something else. No one to trust. I pray God strengthens you as you bounce back. Apologies to your wife and ask for her advice about the whole issue. Peace

You messed up by not letting your wife know that you lost your job, that alone can bridge the love and trust she ave for you.

donstan18:
If an average Nigerian non-virgin lady can comfortably choose a rich Chimpanzee over her father because of money, who are you not to get insulted because of your broke state?

You fvcked up by not letting your wife know that you've stopped working. It made no sense, but still, that shouldn't warrant such behavior from someone who you call a "WIFE".

-Your sister duped you.
-Your kids don't respect you[Possibly, their minds have been poisoned by their mother]
-Your wife insults you and doesn't respect you.

Nwanne, of you don't take time, you'll wake one day and see yourself chilling with your ancestors, as a result of being dead.

I'll advise you to travel. Travel from that hell of a house straight to your mum, explain everything and stay with her a bit to sketch out your plans. He's the only woman on earth right now that can accept you the way you are.

You aren't traveling because you are a coward or because you don't love your family, but because you need PEACE. All you need now is peace, not unnecessarily pressure, before think straight on what to do to salvage this your horrible state of financial quagmire.

I agree with you.

He's seeking advice, not blame people!
You don't kick a man when he's down.

Johnnyjohnnyman:
I’m 34 years old married with 3 kids, I’m an SSCE holder. I used to work as a chauffeur for this wealthy family for 8 years have been with this family and we become like a family , unfortunately my job ended last year July when my boss relocated his family to Canada because he is a kind hearted man and he compensated me with 300k to start up biz. I did not want my wife to know that my job has ended so I spoke with my elder sister , who is a business woman, she lives in Benin republic to help me with ideas of a profitable biz that will help me to still be able to foot in the bills , she suggested clothing biz and requested 200k for the goods , I sent her the money the next day and she promised me that I will be receiving the goods in a month. I was relieved that soon I will start up something to still be of taking care of my family. My wife knew nothing about it because I did not want her to start worrying about taking all the responsibilities by her own because she developed blood pressure when she had our last child , telling her about my job would have affected her health . I taught when I receive the goods by then she will not feel bad. I kept leaving the house as usual in the morning, just like I was going to work for my wife not to suspect anything. To cut the long story short my sister duped and blocked me , haven’t heard from her since and my wife came to know about everything , she sent my niece (my sister daughter )out of our house and she has been making life miserable for me. She doesn’t respect me ,even my children have no single respect for me. I know that I have wronged her by not informing her about the money but it was a mistake which I’m regretting till now , I can’t forgive myself but the pain and the insults I receive from her every single day , it’s unbearable. I cry every day with no hope , I go out every day searching for jobs and coming back late in the evening when she is already in bed to avoid being insulted by her and I leave early morning before she wakes up, I sleep in the parlour , she gives me food whenever she want , sometimes she only prepare for just her and the kids. Our rent expired on December I suggested that she shouldn’t renewed it , so she can use the money for the kids school fees meanwhile we can move back to my mother house till I can get back on my feet , she insults me including my poor mother, just because I’m poor and she foot all the bills , she doesn’t want to respect me anymore. I was thinking about moving back to my mother house until I get a job then I can move back with her again because living in the same house with her is leading me to suicide . I kindly seek for your advice

Ask your wife for forgiveness, so you both can let go of resentments, bad energy and be reconciled. Good things follow next.
After that, you look for another driving job. Good luck.

I pray you get a job quickly ... It's well with you...

Mariangeles:

Ask your wife for forgiveness, so you both can let go of resentments, bad energy and be reconciled. Good things follow next.
After that, you look for another driving job. Good luck.

Mr Johnnyjohnnyman apologising to his wife isn't gonna make any difference infact it'll make matters worse

bleep apologisis let him leave that home for now

tyup:


Mr Johnnyjohnnyman apologising to his wife isn't gonna make any difference infact it'll make matters worse

bleep apologisis let him leave that home for now

It'll make a lot of difference...at least on his part because he wronged her.

She is supposed to applaud you for receiving compensation after the termination of your job and not telling her at all about the job loss and compensation.
She should also applaud you for taking that important decision of starting a new business, sending the money to your devil sister and then only informing her after you've been duped
Well done mister

You know you can kill her sha, with the way you keep secrets.

I'm sorry to say Mr. Johnny but your wife is a witch, and only witches like her will support her actions towards you.

You made a mistake, simple...a mistake you made with good intentions no less. That woman has no reason to behave the way she is behaving. Both of you are not enemies or competitors, you're supposed to be a couple...so why on earth would she or anyone think it's okay for her to disrespect you regardless?
So in her mind, she's paying you back? Is that the explanation?
Gosh, an eye for an eye inside marriage again...it would have been better to just marry an enemy if this is the case.

As for the apology someone is suggesting up there, blast, you have absolutely no reason to apologize to her at this moment because she has not created the atmosphere for an apology.
With the way she has been treating you and with the way she has turned your kids against you, the last thing you want to do is apologize for anything - that will be enablement.

If you think moving in with your mother is what you need to do to have a clear head, then please do that and create that space. Not everyone has a strong mental resistance to things like this, so I can understand why you're contemplating it.
Personally, I would NEVER advise any man to run away from his home because his wife is acting up - that is your home, those are your kids, and she is extremely insane to think she can bully you to frustration just because you're at a low point.

That said, I suggest you do you.
Not everyone is lucky enough to have well-developed mental strengths, so as much as it goes against my beliefs, go to your mothers' and create some space since it will be of help to you.

So, the remaining 100k, were you using it to transport yourself daily to your fake job after your former boss compensated you?
.

Winneygirl:
So, the remaining 100k, were you using it to transport yourself daily to your fake job after your former boss compensated you?
.

Did you say job as if you're there with him. This is someone that has been responsible for his family all through now because of some stupid misdeeds the next thing is for his wife to start maltreating him?


Well, I wish you what you wished others o

Women can never cease to amaze me.

Sorry for what happened to you, God that sees your heart will grant you another good job soon. Kindly ignore your wife for now, she doesn't have sense at all... ( only if your story of taking good care of family before you lost your job was true, most men regret latter when they are duped from outsiders, they will become innocent when karma beat them wella) she would have even in a little way encouraged you na

But how come the kids are not friendly with you Kindly go on your knees for prayers, I wish you all the best

Hmmmm...it is well.


Your own kind of job is almost easy to get. Talk to the other drivers around you, someone is always searching. Good luck.

Mariangeles:
He's seeking advice, not blame people!
You don't kick a man when he's down.

Ah, but throwing blames around is much easier than giving sound advice.

Anyway, op, heed to Dons.tan18's advice.

Ginaruby:
Women can never seize to amaze me.

In all honesty it appears every day that men are the more loyal and selfless gender. By some distance.

The truth is you never trusted her enough with your money. U should av given her the money.Now that u have been dumped by your own, u expect her to keep calm. It's ok

Op, You messed up. As for me
I don’t blame her at all. What is the essence of having a wife without trusting her. You confided with an outsider, now you’re back to square zero.


Your sister really messed up too and she deserved to be arrested and sent to jail. Atleast for some time.



At this juncture, you have to be extraordinary patient, with time your wife will come around. O ti gba suru bayi O.

You failed as a man and husband. It was the hand you gave to your wife and kids warranted all the insult you are receiving now. How could my own kids insult me, it is not even possible. My advice, get back to your feet as soon as possible and take control of ur family.

why are women are like this, in my own case i am a graduate and working comfortable and i married secondary school leaver, as i am typing this she nag a lot over unnecessary things, she told me her money is only meant for her personal use and not for me. my neighbor frequently report her to me of gossip, i strongly believe her level of education is affecting her. my people i am too young to face any high B.P because of wife

mrphysics:
Lol.

We have to open a court section on nairaland where we will be judging these cases.

Every day, we hear one person's story and they expect us to say something objectively

And most of those new cases are from new accounts..
I think most of the stories are fake and for traffic..

Go to your mother's place as you said.
No matter what, your mum can't deny you food.

But if you know your mum earlier warned you against marrying that woman, I'd advise you to find a way to contain the situation and keep it in-house.

The reason is because mumsy will never stop reminding you about how she warned you.

You'll hear annoying words from her, but last last, you go see food chop.

Eight inside every ten 9ja girls/wives are bad women.

In my own opinion, you fvcked up big time...


You not only hid vital information from your wife, you deceived her, that's really painful for any human to bear not to talk of the one that you're supposed to call your partner. Its wrong on all levels.


Going forward, you need to call a family meeting where you can take responsibility for your actions before your family and listen to everyone's opinion on the matter. The truth is that, marriage is not for everyone but when they tell some of you, you'll think they hate you.


Running to your mother's house won't solve the problem and hiding out from your family like you're doing too, won't solve it either. There is a lot of bad blood and negativity that needs to be aired out in the open. Until that is done, none of you will really move forward.


Abandoning your kids in the care of their mother is not wise and would only compound issues on the long run. It will breed a lot of resentment and bitterness towards you. Talk to your children now while you still can, teach them not to make the same mistake you did and show them that although you're imperfect, you still want to be there for them.


Trust me, if you're able to win your kids over, your wife would have no other choice than to forgive you and let go of the past because what is done is done. But you must first start from that family meeting where you air out the issue and take responsibility for your actions.


I wish you the best.

Asquare84:
why are women are like this, in my own case i am a graduate and working comfortable and i married secondary school leaver, as i am typing this she nag a lot over unnecessary things, she told me her money is only meant for her personal use and not for me. my neighbor frequently report her to me of gossip, i strongly believe her level of education is affecting her. my people i am too young to face any high B.P because of wife

Why did you marry a secondary school leaver? You wanted a woman you can control or you are like Tobi the virgin harvester, my brother it is well.

how come that your sister that duped you of your money didn't make you have suicidal thoughts,is rather your wife's actions that is making you suicidal. your sister duped you knowing fully well you have three kids to take of under this harsh economy
you comfortably skipped the way your sister's actions caused you a lot of pain and rather focused on your wife's shortcomings knowing fully well she was not aware you no longer have a job and you kept on deceiving her to make her think otherwise
there's no way she can turn your kids against you in such a short period of time.be sincere to yourself you were not close to your kids from the onset.

channel your anger to your sister biko or you go get another job