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About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! - Romance (19) - Nairaland

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Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Fruitofthevine: 9:42am On Jan 29, 2020
U r such a egoat!!Cant u stand up for once and speak life and discipline to ur blokos?Must u drill every hole u see?Tomorrow u go come carry disease give one poor innocent girl wey wan marry u cos of love,and u dey there dey do iresponsible opandan cos say ur blokos don turn vessel not under command?come enter here dey seek advice wen u already know wetin b d answer to ur magana.Abi na who go affirm ur irresponsible act u dey find?mitccheeew
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Eberex(m): 9:43am On Jan 29, 2020
In4matic:
If this is a true story, take my advice from someone that has been there before.

On no account, I REPEAT ON NO ACCOUNT, should you tell your fiancee.

This is a curve ball from the pit of evil.

You have paid her to terminate, assume it has been terminated.

Then keep that non disclosure Agreement in a safe place, not at home Sha.

And move out. Tell your fiancee you have been having demonic attacks. Plant a beheaded Lizard or some kind of animal in your verenda and call her to come see what you woke up to find.

She will urge you to move.

This is a temporary solution. Remember the world is circular. It will surely come back to bite him in his bumbum one day
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by aykevictor789(m): 9:43am On Jan 29, 2020
What if OP's serious girlfriend is on this platform dishing advise too!

That will be a major plot twist.

As for the OP, try update us on the step you took.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by poik(m): 9:43am On Jan 29, 2020
Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!

This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.

So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)

Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend.

The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex

So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.

So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.

One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.

So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).

So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.

Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.

So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.

I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.

Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.

Simple. Its done. Tell your fiancee and take whatever comes. It may be harsh but its the best. Lola will have no other hold on you. What does she want? I thought she said she has no desire to marry you? Money?
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Dez26: 9:44am On Jan 29, 2020
Had similar experience some years back. Wish I can really talk to you. I want to share my experience with you.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by BENEAMATA: 9:44am On Jan 29, 2020
luminouz:


Lol,dont take me too serious jare grin
grin no mind me . but na ojukokoro wan kill OP so .
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Eberex(m): 9:48am On Jan 29, 2020
From the little i know, pregnancy cannot happen if the lady doesn't want it.

When she allowed you to go raw, she must have decided to have your baby, having come into your apartment and see for herself that you are a big boy.

2 Likes

Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by OILOFGLADNESS: 9:53am On Jan 29, 2020
I DONT KNOW WHY MEN ARE JUST TOO PROMISCUOUS ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY HAVE AN INNOCENT UNDERSTANDING GIRL.

NoW YOU HAVE THE GOT TO BE WORRIED, AS A GRADUATE WHEN YOU WERE FORNICATING WITH A GIRL YOU WONT MARRY, UPTO 3 TIMES A WEEK U DIDNT THINK OF THE OUTCOME?
IF U CANT HOLD UR SELF WHY NOT QUICKLY MARRY UR LOVELY GF.

THE BEST ADVISE IS; TELL UR GF THE TRUTH AND BE READY FOR EITHER LOOSING HER OR BEGGING HER ALL UR LIFE COS EVEN IF SHE FORGIVES YOU, THE TRUST WILL BE SHAKY.

IF I AM THE ONE , I AM GOING TO REQUEST THE GIRLS NUMBER FROM YOU AND LET HER KNOW THAT SHE IS UR FIANCE AND SHE HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MESS, ( THAT IS IF I FORGIVE U).

DONT PUT THE INNOCENT GIRLS LIFE IN PAINS, TELL HER UR DIRTY ACT AND HOW U PLAYED WITH HER TRUST.

UNWORTHY MEN EVERYWHERE!!!

SMELLING STORY....

7 Likes

Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by zomoears(m): 9:56am On Jan 29, 2020
Jeffmonti:
My concern is what my girlfriend will do to herself, if she leaves I’ll have my self to blame and move on. if i have my way i will pay child support to for the child when he/she come out after a DNA test of course. But I’ll never marry a desperate woman. I was thinking of calling Lola on another phone and set up a meeting to let her i know I’ll pay child support. But not sure if i should wait for the child to be born first or just do it today. I have been really restless for many weeks.

Brothers learn from my mistakes abeg


"Do with herself" or "do to herself"?

If you are worried about what she will do to herself, I think you are hinting on her emotional management issues. If the emotion is anger, then you should be more worried about what she will do to you eventually.

Tell her the truth. Break up with her and try to move on. If she is yours, she will come round after a while and accept the reality of the mistake. If she is not yours then move on. But don't try staying with her for long if you know she has anger management issues.
Be the one to tell her parents yourself, so they can understand that you respect them but made a mistake. They may be upset, but if they are reasonable people,they will understand that you made a mistake, and will you manage your babe for you.

That's d problem with having a regular shagging partner. You both become careless and just do away with protection. Do you know if she was shagging someone else, HIV, STDs or other issues could have come up?
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by In4matic: 9:57am On Jan 29, 2020
Eberex:


This is a temporary solution. Remember the world is circular. It will surely come back to bite him in his bumbum one day

It won't if he takes all the steps I outlined in my modified post.

Besides he'll have built a life with this wonderful woman who is his wife to be.

She will definitely fight by his side to protect the interest of her own children when the time comes .
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by tpadua22(m): 9:57am On Jan 29, 2020
Chat me up privately guy, let me investigate the genuity of the whole issue. We can dig out the truth if you will cooperate with me. Chat me up and let me help you with undercover investigation... 07066222772
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by SamOyovwi: 9:58am On Jan 29, 2020
Telling her to terminate the pregnancy is not okay. What if she losses her womb in the process. She will come back to kill you and your wife. You got to take responsibility
Jeffmonti:
About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help!

This might turn out to be a lengthy read, please bear with me. The bashing and insults will be unnecessary as i have already told myself hurtful things a thousand times over.

So i am 29 and have a girlfriend who’s 25 we are both graduates; she’s a nurse and i am a practicing engineer and we’ve been dating for 3+ years now and preparations are underway to tie the knot this year God willing. Something happened last year, she suggested i move to a bigger apartment so that we can start buying household items and everything necessary to start a home as we are looking to get married soon which we did; i got a bigger place, met her parents she met mine. In a nutshell everything seems to be going well, we even started a business together and set to take on the future together before the devil struck (i take blames for my actions as i am not overly religious)

Around June last year, i met a girl (very fine girl) in the new area i moved to, although i have been seeing the girl around but one day as i was driving in i saw her hiding somewhere close to my compound avoiding the rain with her friends so i took them in until the rain subsided we exchanged contacts and started texting on WhatsApp a few days later. And soon after we started having sex (protected sex), prior to that time i never cheated on my girlfriend.

The sex continued, up to 2 times a week sometimes 3 as it was relatively easy as she lived very close and my girlfriend only visits on the weekend and never sleeps out (she’s from a very good and wealthy family with proper moral upbringing). Most evenings when return from work conji just do me one kind i don cross street other times she calls until we became comfortable having unprotected sex

So late October 2019, the new girl (I’ll call her Lola) texted me that’s she’s not feeling too well and i asked her to visit the hospital to run a test to know what to treat. She came back with a pregnancy test result proving she’s already 3 weeks pregnant, i was sure it was mine but i didn’t panic as she had a bf and i have my gf we were just for the sex at least that’s what we told each other.

So i asked her to remove the pregnancy, but got the shocker when she said she’s never going to remove the pregnancy that she’s 27 and have no desire to marry me or stay with me but she’s going to have the child. Omo my heart flipped. I begged her for like 3 weeks until she got mad and stopped taking my calls, she even moved away from her apartment. So i texted her and arranged a meeting, we sat down and discussed at length but she was still bent on keeping it, i got furious and told her i am not ready to be part of the child’s life if she’s going through with it as i see no reason why she wants to have my child when she knows we are NEVER going to be together, that was when she said she had already told her family that i am not interested in the child and they support her to keep it and let the child bear their family name. I discussed the matter with two friends a boy and a girl and the asked me to let her have the child first.

One month passed fast forward to early December, Lola called 6 times i was so shocked. I couldn’t take her calls. She texted that she’s ready to terminate the pregnancy since i am wicked and unconcerned she rained all manner of derogatory words but i was only concern with her decision to let go. I called and we agreed to meet the following day, I skipped work that day and met with her and her elder sister and elder sister’s friend. The sister and her friend were so mean but i was unmoved; i don already fuckup and ready to take anything to let it all go away because the knowledge of things will destroy my girlfriend.

So Lola entered my vehicle and we drove out, on our way to the hospital for her to terminate the pregnancy plus treatment she’ll take afterwards and for the damages i have caused her. She’s going to need 150k from me, i was furious and told her i don’t have that kind of money talk less of handing it over to her for something like this (i sure don’t know what i cost but i know it’s not up to 50k). She said if i don’t give her what she want she’s going to have the baby and that i should be thankful that she’s coming up with this that if she had listen to her friends advices she would have moved to my house with all sort of troubles (she was right) but i didn’t give in just yet. I dropped her off and ask her to have the child that am not going to give her the money as i don’t have it (I get the money sha).

So two days passed, she called again and after many arguments we agreed at 100k, made her to sign a NDA not to bother me again and all, I transferred her the 100k that night, she confirmed receipt and promised to go with it the following morning and that was the last I have heard or seen or her since then, until 3 weeks ago when another of her sister called from Canada and was asking if i am Me, that she’s been seeking my contact for a while now that Lola friend had to steal the number Lola’s phone and pass it to her as Lola has been hiding my phone number from the rest of the family and she doesn’t know the arrangement i have had with her but i should know that she’s having the child, she just thought i should know that i have a child somewhere when the baby eventually drops.

Knowing fully well that i am a shitty person to have done something terrible to myself and my girlfriend and all our future plans because of cheap sex, but I’ll be a more terribly bad person to have knowledge of a child somewhere and not be in his/her life. I called Lola but she didn’t take i texted her about her sisters call she called back to know who called and was furious, she ended the call (I guess to call her sister back) and called back again in about 20mins and asked me not to ever call her line again. I replied her text she should tell her family not call me as well. I have dodged to her apartment building a coupe times but she’s not been around for weeks as i was made to believe.

So i bought a ring to engage my girl few weeks ago but had to hold first to see how things play out, i can’t go ahead and marry my girlfriend with this kind of secret untold; that will be wickedness from the pit of hell and i still don’t know how to break it to her, it will destroy her.

I jokingly painted a similar scenery to my girlfriend; her response was: she will not marry me because if she does she will kill me in my sleep. That everybody is expecting us to get married this year, she now have high respect from her family because of me and this kind of thing happens both of us will die. Omo fear catch me.

Fellow Nairalanders, this is my predicament please advice a stupid brother. Insults are welcome as I hope to pick a thing or two from your comments. MODs please push this up biko.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Renegadefrank(m): 9:59am On Jan 29, 2020
Baba, tell your fiancée and face the consequences of your actions, no matter how bad it may be. It would be way worse if she finds out the truth from someone else. If that babe didn't get pregnant, you probably would have continued your sex crazed adventure. Plus, you didn't need outside help when you started the whole shagging.

Na you cause all this gbege, but if I dey your shoes, I'll beg till I'm speechless. Promise to do anything she asks and never disrespect her again. You fit try involving elders and family members sha

All in all, whatever you do, tell your fiancée the truth sha and be ready for whatever follows. All the best
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by blackboy2star(m): 10:00am On Jan 29, 2020
You didn't even ask what the baby mama will offer or is it just the hole she's bringing to the table? They both agreed to be Bleep mate and not relationship stuff. If you're the girlfriend will you accept that?

Two options: Tell your girlfriend or move out of that area to a new place and get married (mind you it might backfire in the future)

IcraveLove:
Please break up with your girlfriend and focus on your baby mama.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Maduawuchukwu(m): 10:04am On Jan 29, 2020
I seriously doubt that the girl is pregnant. It is likely she is just blackmailing you for money.. Even if she is pregnant it is for her boyfriend and not you. Reason I say this is cos no young woman would keep an unwanted pregnancy which is just 3 weeks old and provides no risk to her if aborted . Add that to the fact that you gave her 100k for the abortion and it starts to seem as if she is just blackmailing you for money or she wants something serious between you guys.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Andy1985ng(m): 10:05am On Jan 29, 2020
The truth will set you free.

Tell your fiancée and face the consequences of your actions.

1 Like

Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by cuteralph101(m): 10:05am On Jan 29, 2020
do not tell her yet. first try as much as possible to be more romantic, show her more love, treat her like a queen. Call her more often. Ensure she feels an upgrade. Take her for treats. Surprise her with cash, prepare a surprise meal etc. Do this for about 2 - 3 weeks. N.B do not overdo it. Then withdraw a bit, ensure she notices a difference or change. Invite her for a meeting date preferably in a serene and quiet environment incase of drama no much trouble. Tell her the truth. that curse be the day you take her on a journey that she'd regret. But u not perfect and bound to make mistakes reason u had to let her know what you've done. Let her know you love her so much to hurt her in the future. On that note, tell her u not worthy of her love and you deserve anything she does. Do this with passion and if u cud cry, cry sir, no shame in dt lastly pray. Good luck
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by clemsbarry: 10:07am On Jan 29, 2020
Bros, you just dey consider abortion like say na small thing. Bros, allow the lola girl born that pikin, you marry her or not sha keep ur pikin. Abeg abortion should be a no no... if dem abort you shey you for dey alive. Pls y'all should shun abortion abeg. Na belle she carry, she no kill person.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by djoe21(m): 10:11am On Jan 29, 2020
chigoizie7:
When I have the strength, I will come back to advice you.

Meanwhile let me discharge this girl that came over, I no Bleep again. Your story touch me. Few minutes of ecstasy with lifetime regrets and guilts. I no get babe ooh.

grin grin you don wise up.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Funkybabee(f): 10:12am On Jan 29, 2020
Very useless boy, May God open your girlfriend eyes to see the demon in you so that she can run quickly

1 Like

Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by OmayieHenry(m): 10:12am On Jan 29, 2020
IcraveLove:


Never had one, so your question doeosn't apply to me.

I could see your account is new. Either you are a male or some grown up babes (olosho) grin grin trying to act the angel role to scam guys on NL
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by chuksfluential(m): 10:15am On Jan 29, 2020
CsRockefeller:


Let me tell you this for free grin

There are only two kinds of men that won't cheat on their wives

1. Very principled men. These men are too goal oriented, too intelligent, too immersed in their work or goal. Men in this category are Barrack Obama, Albert Einstein, Chinua Achebe.

2. Men filled with the holy spirit. Many Pastor's fall in this category. Men like Daddy Adeboye, Pastor Bamiloye, and the Olukoya's of this world.

Any man that is not in the category of these 2, will definitely cheat notwithstanding his status, looks or any other variable that pertains to this discuss.

grin

Choose carefully. grin

Don't ask me which of the group I find myself because I'm still on my journey of self discovery. smiley
you never see something grin
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Eberex(m): 10:16am On Jan 29, 2020
[quote author=In4matic post=86199359]

It won't if he takes all the steps I outlined in my modified post.

Besides he'll have built a life with this wonderful woman who is his wife to be.

She will definitely fight by his side to protect the interest of her own children when the time comes .[/quote

She will feel betrayed las las
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Nobody: 10:21am On Jan 29, 2020
my bro no need to panick. wait for a dna test in the end. and how come her boyfriend is not mentioned in the whole matter because you still probably are not the father.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Bahddo(m): 10:29am On Jan 29, 2020
Now your gf would have the chance to kill you. I just hope she doesn't hurt herself because she isn't the scum here.

On a serious note, how did you know the pregnancy is yours? Why not wait for delivery and then get a DNA test done? That's if there is truly a pregnancy, and not just some stunt to get money off you.

You should tell your gf you cheated many times (3 times a week). When you choose an action, you have also chosen the consequences. Face it the way you faced your 'conji'.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by greygoblings(m): 10:31am On Jan 29, 2020
If I were in your shoes, I will tell my GF the truth. If she wants to go on with the marriage, that is fine. If not, move on. There is no point keeping such a secret from her. When you do this, your guilt will go away. Initially, things might be rough but if she really loves you, she will stay by your side in this. As for the other girl, take responsibility, accept the child and take it from her after weaning as the child is still yours anyway. But don't let the child be in your home with your wife if she doesn't want the child from the other woman. That way, things will be peaceful. All the best!
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by davillian(m): 10:36am On Jan 29, 2020
angryYou don't want to marry her or have a child from her
But yet you were banging her raw and loading her ovaries with multiple cumms

What were you thinking would happen?

Abeg any girl you know you can't marry of want her to have your child please use condom.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by Gabbyosun: 10:36am On Jan 29, 2020
Chai #soapy will have save you from this mess you put yourself into
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by cashmoney2015: 10:38am On Jan 29, 2020
Tell ur girlfriend that u have a confession, before then buy Go 90 pour it away and wash neat then pout coca cola inside, then keep it near u but don't let her see it. Then tell her the story and tell her u hate ursef n u are prepare to die if she no forgive u, and say thank God u have a poison to take ur life, then try to open it and drink, then tell her that I really wanted to be with you but now I'm dying for my mistakes. After all ask her to help save you that you don't want to die again but u want to be with her, as you are saying all this just be acting like u are actually dying.

If she eventually takes you to the hospital just take all the treatment given.

Make her to understand that you were charmed by the girl.

Call me for more tips 07039120394.

I have given such advice to 2 people and it worked perfectly. Even one of them the child is living with them.
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by beatmonster(m): 10:38am On Jan 29, 2020
Maduawuchukwu:
I seriously doubt that the girl is pregnant. It is likely she is just blackmailing you for money.. Even if she is pregnant it is for her boyfriend and not you. Reason I say this is cos no young woman would keep an unwanted pregnancy which is just 3 weeks old and provides no risk to her if aborted . Add that to the fact that you gave her 100k for the abortion and it starts to seem as if she is just blackmailing you for money or she wants something serious between you guys.

He bleeped her raw and watched it flow out like a boss. grin

Money is Gold
Re: About To Lose A Good Girl. Please Help! by CorleonOfSicily: 10:45am On Jan 29, 2020
Very sweet story. You better tell her yourself before someone else do the job for you. However, you ain't married yet and she is threatening you with death, can't you read between the lines...

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