₦airaland Forum

No to domestic violence No to sexual harassment Front page material

LEGIT...I don't care what you said.. punching a woman...one even carrying your baby is a NO-NO.....

Madam.. kindly go for checkup...where he punched you is sensitive...your neck and stomach...also explain what happened to his parents and yours...stay away for some time till he apologizes for his lackadaisical attitude.

Also intensify prayers for your marriage.

Cheers

You got a kid for a husband. An egomaniac p imp. He would keep disrespecting you. You just got promoted at work right?

Move to your parent place for the time being.(i see you scared to be a single mom.) If he loves you, he would come fetch you and the kids, if he doesn't? C'est la vie.

Firstly don't blame yourself for anything u did. Secondly don't defend him at all. 3rdly I don't want to know whether u married him for money or he changed to this beast overnight. But if you continue to live with this inglorious bastard, then the joke is on you. Unless of course all you wrote are all lies. If it's true and you are still with him, hmmmmmmmmm.

Jgoldie:
It’s well
My prayers are with you

I think the prayers will help stop the husband from punching her, prayers goes to her as well too

opejulie10:
It’s past 1 am in the morning and I have been coughing out blood and I have the worst stomach ache and body pains,I am even so scared to close my eyes and sleep for the fear of been stabbed, I slept in my kids room ,the locks are spoilt

Rewind to what happened to the previous day.Yes we have been having issues but he has never lifted his hands to beat me,I called him I was pregnant again with our third child and I don’t know what to do,at the peak of my career,I am pregnant again.

I had my first child was I was 19,I was still in school
I had my second child and I almost lost my job as a temporary staff.
I am permanent staff now and was recently promoted,I am pregnant again, I told him I am confused,anytime I tend to move forward in my life,He doesn’t care about the withdrawal method anymore,He makes sure he cums in me just to ruin and burden me,can’t I be free too for once.
Instead of him to find a soothing words so we would find a solution to it,he walked away from the conversation to the sitting room,after waiting for an hour for him to come back,I decided to go the pharmacy to get drugs for my second child,I came back and the gate was locked,I banged the gate,no one answered,I called his line till from 10pm till 12 am ,he didn’t pick, it dawned on me he intentionally locked me out, I was wearing his boxers and a light top,I had to call my brothers to pick me up so I can sleep and go back home the next morning,I called my mom to report him and she told me, he has called him already to open the gate for me when I return home,I got home yesterday morning and he still didn’t open the gate,our neighbor came outside to get something and I used the opportunity to enter the gate.When I entered he wasn’t bothered,no questions,nothing,he just lied down there looking at me,I was so pained and I questioned him why will he treat me that way knowing my condition,he didn’t even answer,he just pick his incoming call and he was directing a lady to come to our house,I sparked and told him if he should bring any lady in this house he will regret his actions , he told me to repeat myself,out of anger I abused him and threw his phone away,the same phone I have been calling since yesterday and you didn’t pick and a lady called you just once in my presence,the phone didn’t ring twice and you want me to keep mute,I abused him and he punched me in my neck and my stomach,maybe I would have been dead if not for our neighbors,it’s midnight now and I have been coughing out blood and having bad dreams that he is chasing me with a knife, I am scared of staying alone with him at home,my parents said I should go and beg him for forgiveness and move on

But I don’t think I can move on from this,I am making plans quietly to leave this country with my children in the next five years,I can’t endure this anymore but for the main time I will pretend all his fine because of my kids

Your parents have thrown you to the dogs

Yes they have, they don't care about your safety but you should bear a traumatic torture until your corpse is being carried out

Your husband is fed up and he is showing you the red flag

If you think he us too stubborn to sit diand settle this keg of gun powder you are sitting on, when it explode, you may be the worst hit on the interim but he will be the worst hit on the long run

Go to your parents and sit them down to explain to them your fears and worries

If they are not giving you the attention you need, make plans and pack to your parents house now that you can walk with your two legs

You can't really stop a man from cheating, give him time to chase enough women while you think of how to get yourself sorted oe

Leaving with a tough and stubborn man is more dangerous than staying with a womanizer

He can bring a woman to sleep in your home, because he feels he has no respect for you and he finances the house

What else ❓

Run for your dear life now that you are still conscious of the happenings

Forget about what people will say, their will always be news for people

Are you legally married?

GraGra247:
PLEASE FORGET ABOUT 5 YEARS TIME.

LEAVE THE MARRIAGE RIGHT NOW.

What about the kids?

No update

opejulie10:
It’s past 1 am in the morning and I have been coughing out blood and I have the worst stomach ache and body pains,I am even so scared to close my eyes and sleep for the fear of been stabbed, I slept in my kids room ,the locks are spoilt

Rewind to what happened to the previous day.Yes we have been having issues but he has never lifted his hands to beat me,I called him I was pregnant again with our third child and I don’t know what to do,at the peak of my career,I am pregnant again.

I had my first child was I was 19,I was still in school
I had my second child and I almost lost my job as a temporary staff.
I am permanent staff now and was recently promoted,I am pregnant again, I told him I am confused,anytime I tend to move forward in my life,He doesn’t care about the withdrawal method anymore,He makes sure he cums in me just to ruin and burden me,can’t I be free too for once.
Instead of him to find a soothing words so we would find a solution to it,he walked away from the conversation to the sitting room,after waiting for an hour for him to come back,I decided to go the pharmacy to get drugs for my second child,I came back and the gate was locked,I banged the gate,no one answered,I called his line till from 10pm till 12 am ,he didn’t pick, it dawned on me he intentionally locked me out, I was wearing his boxers and a light top,I had to call my brothers to pick me up so I can sleep and go back home the next morning,I called my mom to report him and she told me, he has called him already to open the gate for me when I return home,I got home yesterday morning and he still didn’t open the gate,our neighbor came outside to get something and I used the opportunity to enter the gate.When I entered he wasn’t bothered,no questions,nothing,he just lied down there looking at me,I was so pained and I questioned him why will he treat me that way knowing my condition,he didn’t even answer,he just pick his incoming call and he was directing a lady to come to our house,I sparked and told him if he should bring any lady in this house he will regret his actions , he told me to repeat myself,out of anger I abused him and threw his phone away,the same phone I have been calling since yesterday and you didn’t pick and a lady called you just once in my presence,the phone didn’t ring twice and you want me to keep mute,I abused him and he punched me in my neck and my stomach,maybe I would have been dead if not for our neighbors,it’s midnight now and I have been coughing out blood and having bad dreams that he is chasing me with a knife, I am scared of staying alone with him at home,my parents said I should go and beg him for forgiveness and move on

But I don’t think I can move on from this,I am making plans quietly to leave this country with my children in the next five years,I can’t endure this anymore but for the main time I will pretend all his fine because of my kids

I am with you irrespective of any decision u take.


Only God knows how good men turns into devil when we get married


Only God know how good ladies end up with bad guys

Only God knows how bad ladies end up with good men


Op, I'm with u in any decision u take...

Everybody with their issue. Me self get mine...

UPDATE

Thanks everyone for your comments

I went to the hospital and doctor said I had internal bleeding and the baby had to be evacuated,Well,I don’t know if I am happy with this news because I have already made up my mind I was going to hand over my post to my superiors at work and carry this baby,who rejects this bundle of joy?? Who?

He called the doctor and he was happy the baby wasn’t there anymore,I don’t know what to feel,If it is anger or bitterness or I should just run away from everything and start all over again but what of my kids?

The lady he called came over to spend the night at our home,my sister informed me while at the hospital.my parents still insist this is the “devil doing “ I should not give up on my husband,this is not ordinary,that I should pray.

I pity him,he has a lot to loose because we are legally married,most of the stuff we have is in my name,if I should move he would be left with nothing but I am confused.

I will be discharged today and I am moving back to my parents house for 2 weeks to clear my head.

opejulie10:
UPDATE

Thanks everyone for your comments

I went to the hospital and doctor said I had internal bleeding and the baby had to be evacuated,Well,I don’t know if I am happy with this news because I have already made up my mind I was going to hand over my post to my superiors at work and carry this baby,who rejects this bundle of joy?? Who?

He called the doctor and he was happy the baby wasn’t there anymore,I don’t know what to feel,If it is anger or bitterness or I should just run away from everything and start all over again but what of my kids?

The lady he called came over to spend the night at our home,my sister informed me while at the hospital.my parents still insist this is the “devil doing “ I should not give up on my husband,this is not ordinary,that I should pray.

I pity him,he has a lot to loose because we are legally married,most of the stuff we have is in my name,if I should move he would be left with nothing but I am confused.

I will be discharged today and I am moving back to my parents house for 2 weeks to clear my head.

Go and report to the police about the murder of your unborn child. That was serious bodily harm. Go with a hospital report too.
Please, do not waste time in doing so. It's important things are documented so that people/authorities can have a trail.
I'm not saying he should be arrested or prosecuted o. That's up to you, but let the police get involved and if there's any center for domestic violence in your area, also inform them. Those kind of things are important

Sorry madam.As an adult, the onus is on you to get birth control.Its given free at general hospitals.Dont put your life in a man's hands because he married you.All the best.

It beats me why your parents will ask you to remain in an abusive marriage.Madam,carry your bags and run for your life.You may not be so lucky to stay alive the next time he hits you.

The enemy is not usually far from you.
He sometimes comes in the form of spouses, friends and family.

Why do you want to be married to this man still?

opejulie10:
UPDATE

Thanks everyone for your comments

I went to the hospital and doctor said I had internal bleeding and the baby had to be evacuated,Well,I don’t know if I am happy with this news because I have already made up my mind I was going to hand over my post to my superiors at work and carry this baby,who rejects this bundle of joy?? Who?

He called the doctor and he was happy the baby wasn’t there anymore,I don’t know what to feel,If it is anger or bitterness or I should just run away from everything and start all over again but what of my kids?

The lady he called came over to spend the night at our home,my sister informed me while at the hospital.my parents still insist this is the “devil doing “ I should not give up on my husband,this is not ordinary,that I should pray.

I pity him,he has a lot to loose because we are legally married,most of the stuff we have is in my name,if I should move he would be left with nothing but I am confused.

I will be discharged today and I am moving back to my parents house for 2 weeks to clear my head.

opejulie10:
UPDATE

Thanks everyone for your comments

I went to the hospital and doctor said I had internal bleeding and the baby had to be evacuated,Well,I don’t know if I am happy with this news because I have already made up my mind I was going to hand over my post to my superiors at work and carry this baby,who rejects this bundle of joy?? Who?

He called the doctor and he was happy the baby wasn’t there anymore,I don’t know what to feel,If it is anger or bitterness or I should just run away from everything and start all over again but what of my kids?

The lady he called came over to spend the night at our home,my sister informed me while at the hospital.my parents still insist this is the “devil doing “ I should not give up on my husband,this is not ordinary,that I should pray.

I pity him,he has a lot to loose because we are legally married,most of the stuff we have is in my name,if I should move he would be left with nothing but I am confused.

I will be discharged today and I am moving back to my parents house for 2 weeks to clear my head.

Hah this is pathetic, I feel so sorry for you. Your husband has no iota of regard for you. Did he pay for your hospital bill? has he shown his remorse on the death of your child? NO. Instead he took another woman to your matrimonial home for a seex romp.


Nigerian marriage is very strange, it is highly disgusting most times. If you love yourself, extend your stay at your parent's house. Your aim now should be to get a job, afterwards rent a house, then move in with your kids and stay far away from toxic people. Anybody that ask' you to remain with your abusive husband is toxic.


You own your life, love yourself a bit more. Good luck

See, you're blaming him for the timing of your pregnancies and by extension, for your kids. Let's assume as you got pregnant at 19, you were probably naive and your husband didn't know better then, so you got pregnant, that's excusable and for some women, those achievements you failed to have at the time your peers were getting would make you resent that man with the mindset that he took it away from you. This here is basic for those who know so I understand you here.

From your second pregnancy timing, blame yourself. You know your body more than your husband does and your life should be in your hands 100%. There were a lot you could have done to avoid getting pregnant if your husband failed to use CD. You could've gone out to get pills, there are a lot of after sex pills or herbs to flush out sperm but you ate and slept on it so why blame the man?

Back to your fight, for your husband to walk away means you said a lot of nonsense to him, but that wasn't enough, you left the house without telling him where you were going to. I guess if he knew you went to buy drugs for your second child, he won't have locked you outside. As you come spark later na him the man spark too so na 1-1. After all, people handle anger differently.

Na your mouth make them beat you although your husband no get sense too. How person go carry hand dey beat pregant woman? Even if na devil push her come, you no Waka comot? Sorry oh! As you no get power to fight back, just carry yourself go hospital as you dey vomit blood.

So locking her outside till the next day is justification for not telling him where she was going. If she was linched and murdered that night, you think that would be a good excuse? Some men are just very mean hearted.

cococandy:
The enemy is not usually far from you. He sometimes comes in the form of spouses, friends and family.
Why do you want to be married to this man still?

My exact thoughts.

Ishilove:


The lady seems like a problematic person with acidic tongue, but I'm not supporting domestic violence. She admitted that he has never touched her, but for him to go as far as punching her on her belly shows the acidic tongue finally hit a nerve. Her parents are not even supporting her.

Let her carry herself to the hospital and learn to curb her sharp mouth.

Wow, this is very low

Mizwisdom:
Wow, this is very low

Nope, not low. Just being realistic

Punched you in the stomach and you haven't found your way to gather some policemen or agberos and pay them to teach him a good lesson?
He should not have punched you a pregnant wifey just because his phone was thrown away.

opejulie10:
It’s past 1 am in the morning and I have been coughing out blood and I have the worst stomach ache and body pains,I am even so scared to close my eyes and sleep for the fear of been stabbed, I slept in my kids room ,the locks are spoilt

Rewind to what happened to the previous day.Yes we have been having issues but he has never lifted his hands to beat me,I called him I was pregnant again with our third child and I don’t know what to do,at the peak of my career,I am pregnant again.

I had my first child was I was 19,I was still in school
I had my second child and I almost lost my job as a temporary staff.
I am permanent staff now and was recently promoted,I am pregnant again, I told him I am confused,anytime I tend to move forward in my life,He doesn’t care about the withdrawal method anymore,He makes sure he cums in me just to ruin and burden me,can’t I be free too for once.
Instead of him to find a soothing words so we would find a solution to it,he walked away from the conversation to the sitting room,after waiting for an hour for him to come back,I decided to go the pharmacy to get drugs for my second child,I came back and the gate was locked,I banged the gate,no one answered,I called his line till from 10pm till 12 am ,he didn’t pick, it dawned on me he intentionally locked me out, I was wearing his boxers and a light top,I had to call my brothers to pick me up so I can sleep and go back home the next morning,I called my mom to report him and she told me, he has called him already to open the gate for me when I return home,I got home yesterday morning and he still didn’t open the gate,our neighbor came outside to get something and I used the opportunity to enter the gate.When I entered he wasn’t bothered,no questions,nothing,he just lied down there looking at me,I was so pained and I questioned him why will he treat me that way knowing my condition,he didn’t even answer,he just pick his incoming call and he was directing a lady to come to our house,I sparked and told him if he should bring any lady in this house he will regret his actions , he told me to repeat myself,out of anger I abused him and threw his phone away,the same phone I have been calling since yesterday and you didn’t pick and a lady called you just once in my presence,the phone didn’t ring twice and you want me to keep mute,I abused him and he punched me in my neck and my stomach,maybe I would have been dead if not for our neighbors,it’s midnight now and I have been coughing out blood and having bad dreams that he is chasing me with a knife, I am scared of staying alone with him at home,my parents said I should go and beg him for forgiveness and move on

But I don’t think I can move on from this,I am making plans quietly to leave this country with my children in the next five years,I can’t endure this anymore but for the main time I will pretend all his fine because of my kids

You could have quietly gone for family planning to prevent you from getting pregnant again.its not an easy task taking care of two kids with another pregnanacy in a toxic marriage. You need to make up your mind on what to do next and stay safe with ur kids. I understand his attitude is painful but avoid provoking or challenging him. It wunt change anything.

opejulie10:
UPDATE

Thanks everyone for your comments

I went to the hospital and doctor said I had internal bleeding and the baby had to be evacuated,Well,I don’t know if I am happy with this news because I have already made up my mind I was going to hand over my post to my superiors at work and carry this baby,who rejects this bundle of joy?? Who?

He called the doctor and he was happy the baby wasn’t there anymore,I don’t know what to feel,If it is anger or bitterness or I should just run away from everything and start all over again but what of my kids?

The lady he called came over to spend the night at our home,my sister informed me while at the hospital.my parents still insist this is the “devil doing “ I should not give up on my husband,this is not ordinary,that I should pray.

I pity him,he has a lot to loose because we are legally married,most of the stuff we have is in my name,if I should move he would be left with nothing but I am confused.

I will be discharged today and I am moving back to my parents house for 2 weeks to clear my head.

So sorry for your loss.pls after you are fully recovered go for family planning at the hospital and give yourself some peace. Avoid confrontation with hubby ,be focused with your job and kids. May God heal you completely. Be wise and happy. It is well with you.

eyinjuege:
Go and report to the police about the murder of your unborn child. That was serious bodily harm. Go with a hospital report too.
Please, do not waste time in doing so. It's important things are documented so that people/authorities can have a trail.
I'm not saying he should be arrested or prosecuted o. That's up to you, but let the police get involved and if there's any center for domestic violence in your area, also inform them. Those kind of things are important

Lmao.

She said she is confused, moving to her parents house (with or without her kids) and ofcourse praying for the abuser and you're talking about Murder.

@OP, you get what you want.

Mizwisdom:
Hah this is pathetic, I feel so sorry for you. Your husband has no iota of regard for you. Did he pay for your hospital bill? has he shown his remorse on the death of your child? NO. Instead he took another woman to your matrimonial home for a seex romp.


Nigerian marriage is very strange, it is highly disgusting most times. If you love yourself, extend your stay at your parent's house. Your aim now should be to get a job, afterwards rent a house, then move in with your kids and stay far away from toxic people. Anybody that ask' you to remain with your abusive husband is toxic.


You own your life, love yourself a bit more. Good luck

She has a job and was recently promoted, as she said.