Now I can see where your biggest challenge in marriage will be .
Money, money, money.
You told us how much she earns.
How much do you earn?

I rebuke men like you. Did she force you to marry her? Tufiakwa.

She is the best person to discuss with. You need to decide on the type of marriage you want.

If it's a 50-50partnership, You will have to discuss with her which means that you'll have to share the chores and other responsibilities as well.

But if she is brought up with the mentality that you must provide all for her, It's still up for discussions between you too. You might ask her to be understanding of your financial situation and see reason with you. But don't force the opinion o her.

OP, your approach to the request is a bit too direct, just as some people have said. It's a process and in fact, if communication is done properly, she would suggest it herself, not you forcing it down her throat.

However, your wife's response/reaction is too bad for a would be wife. Is this how she would resolve issues when they crop up later in the marriage? How about dialogue?

Her reaction is suspicious tho. No normal human being will go mute just like that, without a cogent reason.

Let's hear from her.

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow nairalanders, i will try to make my story brief and precise.... i have a fiance whom i am already engaged to, as a matter of fact i have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.
yesterday, my fiance came to visit me in my house so as to discuss on our wedding plans. but before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because i allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while i take care of other expenses.... on hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then i have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....please i need your advice, did i do or say anything wrong, because i know how much i spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... insult in form of advice is allowed all i need is just your advice.

leave and go back to collect your traditional Money if she is not ready to support...

You ain't even married yet and you're already bringing your issues to the public.. Kindly go and sort your issues with your wife (to be)..

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Why did you agree to having a white wedding in the first place? Is trad wedding not enough?

Bros solve the problem you created biko

Influential101:
You ain't even married yet and you're already bringing your issues to the public.. Kindly go and sort your issues with your wife (to be)..

He is very married. Read again.

He is only complicating issues for himself by opting for a white man's type of wedding when he is not even financially ready.

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Bros I will give u an. Advise my father who is still alive gave me


"Don't ever in this life or in the next life use your mouth to allocate any responsibility to a woman "

Reason is very simple


Be also ready to share your position as the man of the house with her or in a very simple English be ready to sell off your position as the man of the Hux to her ,,,,...

men and their complains this year, always looking for advice.....just keep trying her number she's already your wife, white wedding is just an addition.... she will eventually get over it and pick up your call.

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Lol... Feminist who want equal rights should come and tell their sister to take up responsibility na

OP all this should have been sorted out before you choose a date for the wedding. It is like you are putting her on the spot. You assume she is earning 200k what if she is servicing a debt of 150k monthly...Just go and apologize to her make your traditional wedding way you do no waste .

There are no laws for finance management in marriage. What works best for a married couple is what they have both agreed on. Sir sir her down and both of you discuss how you intend to continue from this point onward concerning finances.
Bring options of joint account where each party contribute a quote of their earnings, option of your money belongs to everyone while she keeps hers, option of her money belongs to everyone while you keep yours, option of both of you are transparent and bring all to the table and both decide how to spend it together no matter who earns higher.
If the responsibility of white wedding is eating deep into your pocket bros cut the spending
My simple formula which worked for me was this is how much we are spending so everything must fit into the budget. If you bring an idea outside our budget to me as a friend or family member I’ll respectfully tell you to provide the funds for it and that’s where everyone keeps mute.
Wedding is just gonna end in less than 12 hours so don’t spend a year savings for that

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Gold digger oshi.
No wonder marriage no dey last
People marry ladies because of their job
See as e dey announce her salary
Bloody materialistic bastard

She made a mistake in marrying u
She will regret it all her life
What a bum
So u dey allocate 50%
Like for real
And u dont know what u did wrong
What an entitled beast
When she no bring money
U go ku ku kill am na

This one go give him wife belle
Say na two of una Bleep so una go share hospital bills
Oponu
Ode raised to the power of mumu

WHY ARE YOU STILL REFERRING TO HER AS YOUR FINACEE IF YOU HAVE MARRIED HER TRADITIONALLY?


WHAT KIND OF WORLD IS THIS?


DOES THE WHITE MAN ENGAGE IN AFRICAN TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE?


DO YOU KNOW THE HISTORY BEHIND THE CHURCH MARRIAGE?


THE MOST ANNOYING THING IS THAT YOU BOTH DONT LIVE TOGETHER YET.


PARENTS CALL YOUR CHILDREN TO ORDER!


DON'T LET THIS INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE DIE.




THIS DAYS, ALL A WOMAN KNOWS ABOUT MARRIAGE IS "DANCING SHOKI AND WALKING DOWN THE ISLE WITH 200 BRIDESMAID"

WILL THE MARRIAGE LAST 200 YEARS?


DO YOU KNOW THAT THE TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE CEREMONY IS MORE SPIRITUAL THAT THE NONSENSE YOU DO IN CHURCH?




VERY CRAZY GENERATION!

Toks2008:


He is very married. Read again.

He is only complicating issues for himself by opting for a white man's type of wedding when he is not even financially ready.

When men are looking for a working class lady that's what it leads to ,,,
I have a brother like op who asks every lady he meet if she is working just because u want to share responsibility ....

Make the woman use her mind ,and if she doesn't let her be

sylvestersamuel:


Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses..

Haaaa!!!!!!!! What is now left for you to do? You are absolutely crazy. Is that how to share responsibility? Next time, tell your wife this is what you have. Let her know you are not going to go above that. Anything above that, she bear it. That is how to act as a man.

Davash222:
She’s earning 200K monthly
Where she dey work?



Assuming this story is legit, her 3 months salary should cover for her gown and the catering. But, that doesn’t mean you have to impose that on her unless she forced you to marry her.

No one is forcing you to wed. if you don’t have the funds for that, since you’re done with the traditional wedding and rites, go to any magistrate court close to you and certify your wedding.

I don’t even know who brought this issue of white wedding to Africans.

Some STUPID AFRICANS still buying into this crap called white wedding I am sorry to say, we better revert to patters indigenous to us and forget all these nonsense

Word for the wise part of the reason I shall never marry until we are truly redeemed physically and spiritually...

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

Boss you sabi book. Wonderful advice.

Michellekabod2:
See the issue posh wedding has caused?
So the years of love will be wasted just because of argument on wedding bills...

If my husband brings 5 million for wedding,i will use 4.5 million to start a business for myself and the 500k will be for the court wedding, light refreshment and traditional rites

Saddening! Yet, the problem is even deeper.

Why are some people earning 500k+ while some earning below 40k.



Oga life is bullshit. Don't tell me education, professionalism etc. Oga Na same head every body get

This marriage is in for a long ride and I foresee a lot of financial issues and comm issues. Who goes silent when angry? I hate that silent treatment shit. Say what you have in mind and let heaven fall.
. Op to cut down expenses
1.she can rent instead of sewing a gown.
2.Use ur church venue as wedding reception.
Smaller no of guests.

Your fiancee keep?

never still clear u

Lol you both are just funny.

I already read alot of comments and still they are all funny.

The ladies claiming oga needs to pay for all as he is the man. Lol

The men claiming equality since ladies love to claim equal to men.

It is just pure nonsense. You see your marriage is set for problems and issues. If you both can't agree to simple stuff like this. She feels entitled. You are not ready too for marriage sincerely oga.

After the so called marriage, she will always talk and rubbish you once you share the bills equally ( even though that is the right thing to do).

No matter what you do to please a woman, she will never be satisfied. My brother tell her what you can afford and keep to it. If she can't agree or abide by it, hmm free her ooo.

You can avoid all these future unnecessary issues now before it is too late. Ok oooo

There used to be a time when the bride's family sponsored certain aspects of the wedding. Now every expense is being pushed on the groom's shoulder, not fair at all. Even without being asked, you should be responsible for parts of the expenses. Women and their families should stop seeing wedding and marriage as a form of internal revenue generation. They'll only end up losing the husband's respect

Traditional wedding is the real wedding na

Michellekabod2:
See the issue posh wedding has caused?
So the years of love will be wasted just because of argument on wedding bills...

If my husband brings 5 million for wedding,i will use 4.5 million to start a business for myself and the 500k will be for the court wedding, light refreshment and traditional rites

YOU ARE A GOOD WOMAN!

Have you noticed that all these crazy tales emanate from the south east, south south, south west etc.

You cannot hear anything of such from the northern part (Although they have their own problems but when it comes to marriage rites, they are trying.

The Nikah is what confirms your marriage. In fact, the bride's people will settle the daughter on the day of her nikkah and also sponsor the nikkah.

They even buy a new bed for the man to sleep with his new wife.

Ishilove:

In this 21st century?

You need deliverance

It's 21st century and we expect gender equality.

Let each gender do what is right.

Why marry when clearly you are broke. You ask for 50% contribution and i hope when she asked you to enter kitchen to cook you will not complain.
You ought to have informed her before hand on your wedding budget to see if she will help or you stick to only trad
And any woman in love will help her husband to be. But not with this altitude of yours.
Stingy men make terrible husband's because in marriage the bills to pay are too much. Men like you will grow to be very terrible husband because of bills. I am of the opinion that you remain single.

quote author=sylvestersamuel post=86449262]Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.
[/quote]