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My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do - Family (6) - Nairaland

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Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Ishilove: 4:10pm On Feb 07, 2020
truthsayer009:


Thank you, we'll soon tie the knot
Make sure you RSVP us

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Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by obowunmi(m): 4:10pm On Feb 07, 2020
sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Who will she marry if she doesn't marry you ? Good men who want to settle are hard to find. Don't worry, she will be be back.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Vicyace: 4:11pm On Feb 07, 2020
sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

Now when your fiancee sees this thread, how do you think she would feel?
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by mrksquare: 4:11pm On Feb 07, 2020
Davash222:
She’s earning 200K monthly
Where she dey work?



Assuming this story is legit, her 3 months salary should cover for her gown and the catering. But, that doesn’t mean you have to impose that on her unless she forced you to marry her.

No one is forcing you to wed. if you don’t have the funds for that, since you’re done with the traditional wedding and rites, go to any magistrate court close to you and certify your wedding.

I don’t even know who brought this issue of white wedding to Africans.



Na small thing.
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by obowunmi(m): 4:12pm On Feb 07, 2020
My own cousin married her self.

She bought her own:

Wedding Ring,
House,
Wedding dress,
Wedding car
Her and her husband aso ebi
Her and her husband white wedding dress.

All her lucky husband does is suck and Bleep her. They have two children and 4 years of marriage. He has never worked since they got married. She is even paying his school fees.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Ishilove: 4:12pm On Feb 07, 2020
safarigirl:
So many foolish people getting married these days, no wonder marriages are failing

So, common sense did not tell you and your mumu wife that you ought to have started making a budget for the wedding the moment you got engaged, not after you have already gotten married the traditional way? Are both of you slow?

Is this how you will be making shotgun financial decisions in the marriage? No prior discussion, just drop random bombs on each other at the eleventh hour.

How will she agree? Did you guys discuss it?

Both of you have zero sense, go and do wedding at registry and rest if you must add to your traditional wedding, since no one wants to bring money for a white wedding
LMAO. Aunty you dey para o cheesy
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Nobody: 4:12pm On Feb 07, 2020
Why do people like to give themselves unnecessary headache, is it a must u guys most do elaborate wedding when it's obvious u can't afford it, y can't u just go to church wit ur parents nd let ur pastor bless ur wedding or go to Registry beside wedding gown is not compulsory nah when u can get a nice dinner gown Oshodi at affordable price but we just like to complicate our lives. Mr husband u that hv started 50/50 at dis early stage are y sure u're financial stable though u guys are meant to help each other but u don't make it her responsibility, anyway just try nd talk to her nd reason together nd don't get ur self in debt u won't be able to pay because of wedding

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by deesquarediddy(m): 4:15pm On Feb 07, 2020
You went about it the wrong way. There is nothing wrong in asking her to contribute to your wedding since it's about you two.

You should know that Nigerian women only want equal right but don't want equal responsibility.

Let me tell you how to ask women to contribute.

You don't do it directly but systematically. Like one poster contributed up there, pretending you're worried over financial issues works like magic and can even make them bring out money you have no knowledge about. *If they love you*

Another approach that works is, if you know the money you have can't cater for all you both need...use the money you have to solve their own problems or buy their own things and let them know you're putting them first, hence why you can't buy for yourself or solve other problems that concern you. Come see her bring that money she is hoarding for you to spend anyhow you want.

What i mean in this your case is, you would have started by using your own money to buy her wedding gown and her stuff, then as the date approaches, you act moody, like you're depressed over your finances. Now let her know other areas you still need money for like your own suit, feeding of guest. She will not want guest to go hungry at her own wedding, she will bring money out and may spend more than 50% at the end if she have the money.

Summary is, you need to finger their brains before they spend their money. Women are wired to hoard their money and expect men to spend on them from time immemorial.

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Ishilove: 4:15pm On Feb 07, 2020
obowunmi:
My own cousin married her self.

She bought her own:

Wedding Ring,
House,
Wedding dress,
Wedding car
Her and her husband aso ebi
Her and her husband white wedding dress.

All her lucky husband does is suck and Bleep her. They have two children and 4 years of marriage. He has never worked since they got married. She is even paying his school fees.
Is this a joke?

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by LordShiva97(m): 4:15pm On Feb 07, 2020
Ishilove:

In this 21st century?

You need deliverance undecided

Yes, in this 21st century.
Is she can't kneel to serve food to her husband in the 21st century then she shouldn't be expecting her husband to foot all the bills for their traditional and church weddings.

Gender equality!

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by PCFC(m): 4:16pm On Feb 07, 2020
Sorry o

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by rottennaija(m): 4:16pm On Feb 07, 2020
sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

You didn't need to allocate the expenses to her, even if she was earning 2m/months. You could have allocated the expenses tacitly by asking her for money to support you (even if you needed 500k from her) as you would repay with time or maybe pay her back with beautiful children, you know, anything romantic.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by LordShiva97(m): 4:17pm On Feb 07, 2020
Ishilove:

Your wife (YES, SHE IS YOUR WIFE ONCE YOU HAVE DONE THE FULL TRADITIONAL RITES) earns 180k per month. She complained you are doing well for yourself and you are very stingy. She said you asked her "what will you be doing with your money?"

Sylvester, you need Jesus.

The stingy wife needs Jesus more.

What will she be doing with her money?

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Gspot1k: 4:17pm On Feb 07, 2020
Michellekabod2:
See the issue posh wedding has caused?
So the years of love will be wasted just because of argument on wedding bills...

If my husband brings 5 million for wedding,i will use 4.5 million to start a business for myself and the 500k will be for the court wedding, light refreshment and traditional rites grin
your sense no go finish IJN
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by creolehunt: 4:18pm On Feb 07, 2020
larryking540:


You don't allocate bills to a lady bro ,that's an advice from an old man ,don't ever do that ,and people who don't see anything wrong in such an action don't end up well in their marriage
Make the woman use her mind ,,
U don't wake up and say ,make ur babe day pay light bill
Make she fill gas
Make she day buy cooking stuff

Don't ever try it ,,,,,am sure u don't want to wake up and ur wife see u finish and definitely she will ....


My neighbor way e wife help am get job ,help am pay school fees for final year na every day she day use M sing for the neighborhood when ever they get slight misunderstanding

Lol. I get your point man. Especially the last paragraph.
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by obowunmi(m): 4:18pm On Feb 07, 2020
Ishilove:

Is this a joke?

No joke oo....true story. I swear.

She is a medical doctor. She even married her husband only one week after meeting him. They are four years together with two boys. She was ready to do anything to be married. She married him at 36 years old.

4 Likes

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Rossycee(f): 4:18pm On Feb 07, 2020
sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.
You have to financially, emotionally and mentally ready to get married.
Sharing wedding bills for your fiancée is unacceptable, supposing she wasn't working what would you have done? Learn not to depend on what she earns. She can support you with any percentage she deems fit. You are not suppose to impose anything on her. You are the one marrying her and not the other way round. Go and pay her a visit and apologise, you guys should come to a common term then plan your wedding around your income.
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by victorian(f): 4:18pm On Feb 07, 2020
doris4u:

In case u don't know, that's what most Nigerian men check before marrying a lady, thereby marriages doesn't last








So true.

Most Nigerian men will not marry a lady if shes not successful in her career. They will only fucvk and go.
There are so many successful older ladies getting married these days to young men who works as well.

If you see any successful older lady who. Is yet to settle down, just know she's not ready to triple her financial responsibilities by marrying a man. She wants to just be on her own jeje, go on dates , enjoy the warmth then move on.

Marriage is one hell of a financial burden. Lol.


Na WA o cheesy

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by NELLY1990: 4:19pm On Feb 07, 2020
Truth be told, there is nothing wrong with helping one another more especially in marriage. What u do you ur wife, u did it for urself and what ur wife said to u, she did it for her self. They all are trying to make their journey very easy, comfortable and stress free. But the issue here is if one decides to take advantage of the other simple because he/she works, he/she earns more and you try to impose then dust will arise. The men usually are the head of every woman in marriage but when u start maltreating her abusing ur leadership on her for your selfish desires, God will not be happy with you at all. Let everything be done in peace and understanding not cheating one another in any way. He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtain favor from the Lord. Favor may not be only on money but a lot of fruits. Pls Sir, I beg u call her and apologize and mean it. Then settle your differences amicable. Don’t spoil your show by yourself o. I don say my own

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by safarigirl(f): 4:19pm On Feb 07, 2020
Ishilove:

LMAO. Aunty you dey para o cheesy

E reach to para

What kind of foolishness is this? And he wasn't even ashamed to come and broadcast their joint stupidity to the world.

I can't believe two adults did not have enough foresight to actually plan a wedding ahead of it. At this rate, they will be arguing about who will buy clothes for the baby the day before their baby is due

2 Likes

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by manchester1: 4:19pm On Feb 07, 2020
You have done traditional marriage and it therefore means that you have paid her bride price, yet you still call her your fiance. Work on yourself first before you work on others grin
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Hedonisst: 4:19pm On Feb 07, 2020
Some mumu men sabi marry wife o. Kai. Where do you find these kinds of creatures?

You never even put am for house, yet she already has the audacity to walk out on you and avoid your calls over such a petty matter (yes it is a petty matter). That shows she's a surly, arrogant, badly behaved, unsubmissive, manipulative, loutish character. The type that would want to control you, demean you, undermine you, and ensure you play by her rules or nothing. God forbid.

I can spot these types within 2 seconds of encountering them, and I will kick them out of my sight immediately.... No chance of any serious relationship.

Open your fucking eyes and see the bottomless pit you're about to fall into.

8 Likes

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by WittyLad(m): 4:20pm On Feb 07, 2020
What I'm seeing here is that she's got your balls already,coz this isn't good enough as an excuse to have ignored ur calls/mssgs..
ladies love seeing WE men begging them and love using that play u and damage ur balls more HARDDON
My advice for u;
Don't call her again nor text
talk to ppl she can listen to.. i.e parents or family members
Let her know you are vexed also,not through words tho(actions they say speak louder), else you'd continue to look worthless, ladies don't like worthless men...
Learn to say less When she comes back to reconcile
..

check Harddon's signature for more
Do these and quote me later

3 Likes

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by safarigirl(f): 4:20pm On Feb 07, 2020
LordShiva97:


The stingy wife needs Jesus more.

What will she be doing with her money?
a lot of women prefer to spend their money on their kids.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by obowunmi(m): 4:21pm On Feb 07, 2020
You don't do it directly but systematically. Like one poster contributed up there, pretending you're worried over financial issues works like magic and can even make them bring out money you have no knowledge about. *If they love you*

How Nigerian male scammers operate, ladies be warned.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by SammyChi1988: 4:22pm On Feb 07, 2020
For the people supporting the lady is very bad of you guys. Is not bad for the lady to contribute to her wedding. She earns 200k. From the point of view that lady don't love you at all. For her not to ulter any words and left your house and you have been calling her and she's not picking your calls is very bad of her.

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by victorian(f): 4:22pm On Feb 07, 2020
obowunmi:


No joke oo....true story. I swear.

She is a medical doctor. She even married her husband only one week after meeting him. They are four years together with two boys. She was ready to do anything to be married. She married him at 36 years old.




I don't doubt your story

It happens like crazy to women who wants to bear Mrs by all means

They are everywhere.
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Ustec: 4:22pm On Feb 07, 2020
Brazenbabe:


My point is that you people are quick to share bills with your wives/fiances but never share the domestic responsibilities
You people are quick to say what you did for her but never say what they do for you
See how all of you are on the other thread saying your families come before your wife, bla bla bla
Will you also tell your families your wives pay at least half of the bills?
I thought Nigerian women contributed nothing to the household and lives of their husbands? Why are we now being asked to pay for weddings
Abi would the man agree to answer our surname?
Las las you all still prefer the man to be the Head cheesy wink
Thank God for that cool
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Pusyiter(m): 4:23pm On Feb 07, 2020
My dear tell them.
In fact, increase the volume
The babe neva enter marriage she don dey selfish
This kind one go run leave husband and children God forbid anything happen to the man
If na me, hmmmmm, i know what to do
victorian:









Babe, a lot of working class ladies pay for their wedding these days. Forget those smiles and all. The ladies pay through their nose, especially if the guy is still hustling and never blow yet.
Marriage is no beans o.

Women are trying, I swear.

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Nobody: 4:23pm On Feb 07, 2020
If you're Igbo, you must be from either Abia or Imo state but most likely Abia. undecided

1 Like

Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Ishilove: 4:24pm On Feb 07, 2020
obowunmi:


No joke oo....true story. I swear.

She is a medical doctor. She even married her husband only one week after meeting him. They are four years together with two boys. She was ready to do anything to be married. She married him at 36 years old.
Haaa, that is just so sad. sad sad sad

Society pressures women into entering regrettable unions. She is truly married to herself sad
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by obowunmi(m): 4:24pm On Feb 07, 2020
victorian:





I don't doubt your story

It happens like crazy to women who wants to bear Mrs by all means

They are everywhere.

Yes ooo...she is my cousin.

If the man tell am sef that he is gay and wants to be fucking a dog. She will NEVER, EVER leave him.

She will die there. But the man is a lucky bastard.

With all the time he has, He doesn't even babysit the kids. She will still bring her mother from the village and be stressing the poor woman.

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