Davash222:
She’s earning 200K monthly
Where she dey work?



Assuming this story is legit, her 3 months salary should cover for her gown and the catering. But, that doesn’t mean you have to impose that on her unless she forced you to marry her.

No one is forcing you to wed. if you don’t have the funds for that, since you’re done with the traditional wedding and rites, go to any magistrate court close to you and certify your wedding.

I don’t even know who brought this issue of white wedding to Africans.

My brother, I wonder oooooo. We just the copy everything to weigh ourselves to death.

safarigirl:
So many foolish people getting married these days, no wonder marriages are failing

So, common sense did not tell you and your mumu wife that you ought to have started making a budget for the wedding the moment you got engaged, not after you have already gotten married the traditional way? Are both of you slow?

Is this how you will be making shotgun financial decisions in the marriage? No prior discussion, just drop random bombs on each other at the eleventh hour.

How will she agree? Did you guys discuss it?

Both of you have zero sense, go and do wedding at registry and rest if you must add to your traditional wedding, since no one wants to bring money for a white wedding

Lol, calm down tigress

Where do you people copy these fables from? �


This story was discussed yesterday evening on Okey Bakassi's show on Lagos Talk FM...�

Ishilove:

Haaa, that is just so sad.

Society pressures women into entering regrettable unions. She is truly married to herself

I think its her choice. Is it society ? At least she gets good dick.

ireneidiva:

Even with househelps, wives still do chores. Will he do half of the remaining chores the wife will do?

You see why I don't argue with people who can't reason critically. If the husband pays the maid it means the man is paying the maid to do his part of chores while he goes making money for the family. What half are you now talking about or the woman should be totally useless?

This is not African. Same a feminism. We are not equal.

kunleweb:
Sisi. Go and meet her in person.


How do you expect people to give you advice when you're the one doing the marrying?


Sissies everywhere. You need counsel on how to speak with someone you want to get married to. What a sissy

Please don't blame the young man.
Blame Seun.

Davash222:
She’s earning 200K monthly
Where she dey work?



Assuming this story is legit, her 3 months salary should cover for her gown and the catering. But, that doesn’t mean you have to impose that on her unless she forced you to marry her.

No one is forcing you to wed. if you don’t have the funds for that, since you’re done with the traditional wedding and rites, go to any magistrate court close to you and certify your wedding.

I don’t even know who brought this issue of white wedding to Africans.

You always make sense. I have noticed it. May your days be long

You too stop Calling her

Davash222:
She’s earning 200K monthly
Where she dey work?



Assuming this story is legit, her 3 months salary should cover for her gown and the catering. But, that doesn’t mean you have to impose that on her unless she forced you to marry her.

No one is forcing you to wed. if you don’t have the funds for that, since you’re done with the traditional wedding and rites, go to any magistrate court close to you and certify your wedding.

I don’t even know who brought this issue of white wedding to Africans.

Android ladies won't like this ur comment bro

safarigirl:
a lot of women prefer to spend their money on their kids.

Assuming this is true (it's not), she'll rather spend money on kids that haven't arrived yet than on her own wedding?

Next time use your brain. Most Ibo ladies are taught that men pick wedding bills I don't know the tribe of your woman. But for you to assert some sense of worth, you should foot the wedding bills intoto.

Except she willing decide to help.


What you should've done is to ask her to lend you money that you'd pay back after the wedding. That's it...no be to give monkey bananas be issue,na to collect the peel.

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

Another sensible man on NL. Bless you son

[quote author=donstan18 post=86449408]Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advanceforum
It have tey somebody have sense like this on this forum

....she is already your wife and not your fiancee,in as much as you have paid and done the traditional rite...the white wedding is just an addition which most women want by all means fool.

tiredoflife:


Gold digger oshi.
No wonder marriage no dey last
People marry ladies because of their job
See as e dey announce her salary
Bloody materialistic bastard

She made a mistake in marrying u
She will regret it all her life
What a bum
So u dey allocate 50%
Like for real
And u dont know what u did wrong
What an entitled beast
When she no bring money
U go ku ku kill am na

This one go give him wife belle
Say na two of una Bleep so una go share hospital bills
Oponu
Ode raised to the power of mumu

LOO

obowunmi:


Yes ooo...she is my cousin.

If the man tell am sef that he is gay and wants to be fucking a dog. She will NEVER, EVER leave him.

She will die there. But the man is a lucky bastard.

With all the time he has, He doesn't even babysit the kids. She will still bring her mother from the village and be stressing the poor woman.

Some Men are that lucky and so arrogant at home.
Honestly I don't envy such women at all and I don't pray to be in their shoes.

Me that I have a soft body system and I don't like stress. Any little stress like this my bp Don rise up. That's another reason I'm still single. I don't have the strength, they have to take care of a grown man financially and kids join, na death I dey for nah lol and I don't even have mother to bring from village sef.
That's why Im cool and calm like ice water towards marriage. Or else I will die young with all the wahala and bills

I can't come and die on top I must marry.

Your cousin is really trying, she's a strong woman. She's indeed strong.

Women and money. Like 5&6

deesquarediddy:
You went about it the wrong way. There is nothing wrong in asking her to contribute to your wedding since it's about you two.

You should know that Nigerian women only want equal right but don't want equal responsibility.

Let me tell you how to ask women to contribute.

You don't do it directly but systematically. Like one poster contributed up there, pretending you're worried over financial issues works like magic and can even make them bring out money you have no knowledge about. *If they love you*

Another approach that works is, if you know the money you have can't cater for all you both need...use the money you have to solve their own problems or buy their own things and let them know you're putting them first, hence why you can't buy for yourself or solve other problems that concern you. Come see her bring that money she is hoarding for you to spend anyhow you want.

What i mean in this your case is, you would have started by using your own money to buy her wedding gown and her stuff, then as the date approaches, you act moody, like you're depressed over your finances. Now let her know other areas you still need money for like your own suit, feeding of guest. She will not want guest to go hungry at her own wedding, she will bring money out and may spend more than 50% at the end if she have the money.

Summary is, you need to finger their brains before they spend their money. Women are wired to hoard their money and expect men to spend on them from time immemorial.

This does not apply always. I respect women a lot but am sorry to say that a large percentage of ladies are self centered. If you spend all your money buying all her wedding stuffs thinking she will buy your own stuffs after exhausting funds, you are 100% on your own

SmartyPants:


So you didn't see the part where he mentioned he has already spent on the traditional wedding?

In Nigeria, the wedding rites isn't complete until you have done the white wedding

sylvestersamuel:
Good morning my fellow Nairalanders, I will try to make my story brief and precise.... I have a fiancée whom I am already engaged to. As a matter of fact I have already done all our traditional marriage and rites the only thing left is our white wedding which will be coming up in the next 3 weeks.

Yesterday, my fiancée came to visit me in my house so as to discuss our wedding plans. But before she left, we had a slight misunderstanding and the reason for our misunderstanding was because I allocated 50% of our wedding expenses to her i.e (she would be the one to sew her wedding gown, pay for the catering service amongst others) while I take care of other expenses...

On hearing this, she didn't even utter a word but left with annoyance, since then I have been trying to call her but she hasn't been picking my calls neither have she replied any of my messages....

Please I need your advice, did I do or say anything wrong, because I know how much I spent during our traditional marriage rite and mind you, she earns close to 200k per month.... Insult in form of advice is allowed all I need is just your advice.

I'll be direct, she isn't the kind of woman you can spend the rest of your life with. She lacks exposure. You just have to try to change her way of thinking which is always difficult with adults or manage her like that.
Ignoring your calls is totally unnecessary if she doesn't like something she should discuss it right away rather than leave your place. Did you guys date at all?

She's crazy and have no one to tell her.

OP say na like this Una go dey ?
You're already married to her, forget about the we have not done white wedding sh1t.

If she's ignoring your calls, messages just because of that little thing both of you could have solve amicably without any issue then I wonder what you saw in her.

I hate it when someone feels entitled or people can't do without them.
I always distance myself from those kind of people.
If she doesn't pick your call or reply your msg,just let her be, when she's back to her senses she will call you.

obowunmi:


I think its her choice. Is it society ? At least she gets good dick.

And gets to bear 'M-R-S' join.

LordShiva97:


Assuming this is true (it's not), she'll rather spend money on kids that haven't arrived yet than on her own wedding?

yes, actually, yes

But Nowhere was it said the woman isn't willing to spend. Maybe not up to 50% is all

And really, I reiterate, they are both stupid for not discussing earlier. You don't just drop financial obligations on anyone before telling them, people make budgets for a lot of things, and many get upset when things unplanned for, are brought up.

Deoboss:

This does not apply always. I respect women a lot but am sorry to say that a large percentage of ladies are self centered. If you spend all your money buying all her wedding stuffs thinking she will buy your own stuffs after exhausting funds, you are 100% on your own

I added, if she loves you....

Its works anytime, except she don't have that money.

Pusyiter:
My dear tell them.
In fact, increase the volume
The babe neva enter marriage she don dey selfish
This kind one go run leave husband and children God forbid anything happen to the man
If na me, hmmmmm, i know what to do

Lol what will u then do?

Remember uv paid her dowry and handled the traditional marriage all by yourself.

So what will u do, Mr handsome ?

donstan18:
Traditionally, a man is the chief sponsor of any wedding ceremony while the woman supports in a way she can. Reason, it's expected a man goes into marriage when financially stable and ready.

Allocating 50% to her passed a message that you'll be a type of husband who will be after the statistics of the wife's earning and spending. You sure wouldn't have done what you did if you hadn't any knowledge of her earning, you acted because you know her earning and that's a red flag for Nigerian ladies, because they don't like dragging and equal responsibilities in a home.

You don't go direct when you want a woman to contribute financially to something. You go Tactically[Not imposing, but asking how and where she can take care of, she'll choose, no matter the percentage of her choice, you lock up, keep the planning going, pretend like you are cool and then sketch out a personal plan of how to act worried and restless before her, she'll wanna know the problem, act like you wanna hide it from her, she'll be worried and pissed that you are hiding things from her, then you'll come up with a story and open up that you are facing financial crisis and don't know how to sort some things out concerning the wedding, she'll willingly help with pity without seeing you as a stingy or mean person]

No be everything dem dey form mancho, you go dey use your head.

You've spent on traditional wedding and for that not to be a total waste, kindly go and meet her, reason with her and go tactical, not directly with authority.

Happy married life in advance!

Respect to your experience.....

faithfull18:

In Nigeria, the wedding rites isn't complete until you have done the white wedding

The point is, if he has already spent so much and is only now asking her to come in, then it's not 50:50 is it?

The total expenses would be along the lines of 75:25

ahiboilandgas:
u don deal with woman that way ....u scope her .u dont tell to foot the bills u get the total bill then form at if u are trying hard to gather the whole sum then she will see reason to assist even more than your expectations

Hahaha you are very smart

Young man,
Why are you calling her your fianceè.

You guys are already married. She's your wife as long as you have paid her dowry.

Do your church wedding. Nobody will crucify you if you don't do reception

Were u forced to marry her or she imposed herself on u?
Mr Man u have no right to bill 50% of the charges on her
That's her own decisions to make, whether she wants to assist or not is all hers to decide
Then later we start hearing things like " I married u with my hard earned money" meanwhile she contributed vehemently

If u say it to her reasonable and make her reason from ur perspective she may agree but if u dare force it on her
Sorry u are OYO
u are calling ur traditionally married wife fiancee
Are u ok

OiOi:
I don't think this kind of discussion should lead to any sort of argument....
And moreover, is the traditional wedding not enough to make her your woman already?

This is what happens when a man marries a woman because of what he can get from her earnings.

Sadly, they always get disappointed.