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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do (59378 Views)
My Fiancée Called Off Our Wedding With Four Days To Go / My Fiancée Is Acting Suspicious / My Dad Insists That My Fiancée Must Take Fertility Test Before Marriage (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by lozanni(m): 6:01pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
donstan18: You are a truly matured person ! You also know how to play the game |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Reubenu: 6:03pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
You would have politely asked her if there is any way she will contribute. Then you listen and know the area she will accept to take care of. She taught if you marry her every every will be 50/50 and want to show you earlier that it won't work that way. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by PreetyAngel4U: 6:04pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
seanwilliam: Money above love? These days, even men separate money from love. |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by davillian(m): 6:04pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
You used the direct approach instead of the indirect approach. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by bukatyne(f): 6:05pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
sylvestersamuel: If you have done traditional rites, you are married. So why did you both wait three weeks to the Church Wedding before sharing cost? What is your tradition as regards wedding expenses? Who sponsored the traditional wedding? Have you reached out to your family? Her family? What are they saying? I guess the real question is: Did you marry a woman unstable enough to divorce you because you allocated 50% of the white wedding expenses to her? 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by adexpa(m): 6:07pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Belafonte: Who tells you olden days wife don't work. My mum works and I know of many mother that works and still submit. I am not here to argue, but to only discredit your statement... It lacks fact. Thanks |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by BRATISLAVA: 6:08pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
safarigirl: Seems "feminist" is the new word thrown around by men who have bitterly discovered that they can't eat their cake and have it anymore. 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Mariangeles(f): 6:09pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
donstan18: I'm not saying you're the manipulative type o, but you kinda have sense Mbe ka-iwu 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by rosalieene(f): 6:11pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Huncle, talk true.... you're getting married to her so that both of you will be sharing bills equally in the home or probably expect her to contribute more |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Misscongenialit: 6:12pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
sylvestersamuel: That your wife is working does not make you allocate responsibilities to her. This is where you men get things wrong. It is your responsibility to provide for her, if she earns you dont allocate responsibilities just like that except if u married her to share money responsibility then that makes you very irresponsible. Real men do not ask women for money as if they are both men in the house sharing responsibility. you have sold your self respect by telling her to bring money. Women know wen to give money to men and this does not happen because u tell them to bring money but because they want to willingly do it to help the man. You went about it the wrong way,u have to go and apologize and forget about asking for money from her. For peace , in her good mood she will give u. U were too quick to us her salary and not yours, I really hope its not what I'm thinking |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by vikithor(m): 6:14pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Nairaland congregation will never cease to amuse,have been reeling in spiritually driven laughter from the first page of this post up to the 9th,most commenters will end up saying "its your duty to foot the bills 100%,with a clause that she might assist in any way little. So I ask,should the man sweep up the bills on what will the sister's widow's mite be spent on? Should the bro pay up for everything(not expecting her to contribute, if it happens she wants to,on what will she spend on where all bills has been taken care of,if you members of this congregation will support the bro shouldn't expect financial contribution from the wife to be,as such,no need in raising a debate on it,on the marriage day,sister or family members come up with their beggerly widows mite to pay for canopy (to discovered it has been paid for) to pay for entertainment (...paid for)to arrange for food(xyz catering services has been paid to handle that) every thing paid for,and turns out kinda embarrassing that sister or family members have no financial contributory role to play just to answer 'we were present and witnessed everything',won't the bride rant complaining "he didn't ask for my contributions"? Marital matters has the most complex of all complexities of all human endeavor,cos any point,the default complexities must raise its head,the wisest btw the couple (yes,the most discernible partner)should deal with it,better for them if both couple are wise.But worst will be that both are foolish,no matter the height or journey the marriage from dating or courting to marriage,living together and parenting together, this usual complexities must at anytime raise its ugly head the big pictures starring at them at this junction will be 'nearest exit route-separation,divorce' Watchfulness in watching and praying and acting in obedience to God's command must be the watch word from and through the journey .......... BTW Learn how to drive better than you were told or shown.call or WhatsApp from contacts below. |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by PreetyAngel4U: 6:14pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Men and control. If she doesn't agree now, they'll say she isn't submissive. If she had no source of income, she probably wouldn't be engaged to him. Ladies please take care of yourselves. If you are yet to be married, most of us passed through this. Even the one that handles everything initially would expect reciprocity in marriage. There is nothing like if you love me , you'll take care of me. These days men want it 50/50. They are ready to be your slave if its 0/100. Then I pity you if its 100/0, be ready to take shit. No one really advises ladies that after marriage, they are on their own. |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by cooooooks(m): 6:16pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Leave her. If she doesn't want to marry, she should go. sylvestersamuel: 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Wiifesnatcher(m): 6:18pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
you're not fit for marriage Op. a complete sissy is what you're a lady you court and do her traditional marriage left with annoyance, like workout on you and you're calling her for what exactly? just thank your star you're not my elder brother, the kind slap you go get ehn, you will called off the wedding you're to plan wedding with your woman but it's obvious you're sharing relationship management with your so called fiancé. a man must be on top of his game every time. abeg leave her to do her worse, she will only disgrace herself as you've done the major things, church wedding is not mandatory even if someone give me 200million to do church wedding I won't, na court things no time 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by farady(m): 6:20pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Somebody should post that meme with the caption "this is how witchcraft begins" . OP, na you dey marry, so you are responsible for virtually everything. You lay your cards on the table and both of you work out the budget, which should fall within what you can afford. Better wife material would always ensure you are not "heavily taxed" by her people and also assist with taking care of some expenses. It will naturally come from her mind. However, ditching out % for her to bear (50% for that matter) sends wrong signals to her. So many comments; some sound, some caustic, some feminist. You can get a woman to spend without sounding brash like donstan18 stated. Way forward, wait till you get money or tell her to assist that you have run out of gas in a loving way oh. Lastly, no put eye for woman money, never. You both may need to go for counseling, then both of you must sit to discuss how you run the finances of your home. Again, that discussion should be blind to how much she earns. Let her contribution comes from her mind for you tho enjoy your marriage. Wishing you the very best. |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by bukatyne(f): 6:20pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
seanwilliam: What has submission got to do with financial contribution? You don't expect your wife to be submissive because she contributes financially in the home? |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by 12inchess: 6:20pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
She should pay her fair share. You're not getting married to yourself. If both of you will enjoy the benefits of the marriage together then why should only u carry the expenses. This is utterly stupid. 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by LordShiva97(m): 6:24pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Mobree: That's true, thanks for the correction. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Oluwadami009(m): 6:27pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Michellekabod2: What if he could only afford #200k?. |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by adexpa(m): 6:27pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
uruba23: This is where the problem comes from. You should have trash this long ago. Suppose you had raised this issue before now, you guys will have enough time to discuss it and agree on either 50-50 or 60-40. I do not see issue asking your woman to contribute on wedding that is for both of you, but it is not in their nature to spend their money. It takes some time to convince them. You shown her that you were capable during the traditional and she is not prepared for any contribution, so it shocks her when you came up with the idea suddenly. You would have let her know long ago that you will take care of traditional, but you will need her help during white wedding then you guys can sit and formulate how you will share the bill. I pity you my brother, and the reason is because from my observation, you never deal with woman well before now on the area of money and it will break your heart many time when you get married because the woman you are sleeping with everyday will hide her millions when you are in dare need of just 100k. They are not wired to spend their money(maybe naija ladies) but they can spend the whole world when it is someone else money. Just find a way to engage her genuinely, do not force her and if she didn't see your point, go ahead with what you have and learn from it because you will see plenty in marriage. |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by bukatyne(f): 6:28pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
dominique: @bold: It depends on the tribe. In Yoruba land, the bride's family hosts the wedding. The couple can do the wedding gown, accessories, hall etc. The food which is the bulk is handed by the bride's family. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by darediamond(m): 6:28pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
The REALITY IS: MOST NIGERIAN LADIES ESPECIALLY FROM THE SOUTH, ARE MOTHER-PREPARED LIABILITIES AND ARE BROKE WITHOUT ANY SIGN OF AN END TO IT!! NEVER MARRY AN IRRESPONSIBLE LADY THAT HAVE NOTHING TO BRING TO THE TABLE. Having a Job so not mean you are responsible. NO!!!! DO NOT GET IT TWISTED!!!! OP, THAT LADY WILL DIVORCE YOU IN THE FUTURE!!!!!! REMEMBER LIFE IS FULL OF HIGHS AND LOWS. WOULD A LADY WHO IS PROVING IRRESPOSIBLE NOW STAY WITH YOU IF THE LOWS OF LIFE (God forbid) SHOWS UP IN YOUR MATRIMONY?? IF SHE STAYS, WOULD SHE STAY WITH 100% LOYALTY AND STILL RESPECT YOU AS THE HEAD OF THE FAMILY? SHE AS SHOWN THE SIGN THAT ANSWERS THE QUESTIONS ABOVE AS """ NOOO!! """ 3 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Izigha(m): 6:31pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
the funny thing about this issue is THAT THEY ARE HUSBAND AND WIFE ALREADY |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by executive12: 6:31pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
I am not surprised. That's a typical Nigerian lady for you right there. The average Nigerian girl is raised to believe that 'his money is our money but her money is her money ' I will advise that you go see her and try to talk things over with her and let her understand why she should help out. After all, the Bible said that women are helpers. This incident should not cause a split because most of the ladies are of the same mindset on the issue of finance. 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Btruth: 6:32pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Davash222:Mango Park........ Lol |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by fortune1968: 6:32pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Davash222:I I wonder o . It is a negative imitation . |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Nobody: 6:35pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
adexpa:I agree with you Chief most people don't seems to realize money would play a lot in marriage they just think it is about butterfly feelings. But I suspect the ops thought he was capable initially until the trado made a dent on his pocket.It still boils down to lack of proper planning.I think a court wedding is even better.me I am kukuma shy I can't be doing wedding that everybody would be looking at me. A small simple wedding is okay by me . 2 Likes |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by Skmoda360(m): 6:36pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
kunleweb: |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by EmmanuelBanks: 6:36pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
donstan18: The elder has spoken....heed to this |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by jessikoholic: 6:36pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
The first place you failed is looking at her stats. 2. You should have been singing it to her in a jovial way at least way back so that she'll have it in mind not shoving it in her throat 3 weeks to your wedding!! 1 Like |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by goldmatrix(m): 6:36pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
Women who help her-husband to be foot wedding bills feel they are cheap. They also think that they are the one paying their own bride price. Now it has future implications: 1. She may not submit to you as a wife should Insult to your person might come handy etc My advice: Find money, go out there and marry her with all your efforts. |
Re: My Fiancée Has Stopped Picking My Calls, Please Advise Me On What To Do by jubrilELsudan: 6:38pm On Feb 07, 2020 |
She's a very stupid gold digging husband snatcher. 1 Like
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