₦airaland Forum

Ekemeze:
Why deny it All of a sudden? 80% of your comments here in NL shows that you are a feminist. You call men "useless". Who does that if not a broke ass, depressed, heartbroken, pained feminist?

Kekereekun123:
how person go fat and ugly like this still dey form feminist. men don use am dump like tissue paper lol

funmisticqueen2:
I'm reporting you to the mods

Kennedyiheme:
I've noticed women eho aren't confident of how they look often try to toughen up and always challenge the norms, they also turn out to be feminists, she's obviously not confident about herself... by the way any woman that think tbey can switch traditional roles of a msn and a woman is the biggest fool on earth, you may try it but it would never work...how can a man be comfortable playing the wife role in the family, the day a woman will tell me that shit.. i swear na beating

Kennedyiheme:
now you're angry, you have also been condescending yourself in other threads.. how does it feel having a taste of your own strawberry?

Ekemeze:
Why deny it All of a sudden? 80% of your comments here in NL shows that you are a feminist. You call men "useless". Who does that if not a broke ass, depressed, heartbroken, pained feminist?

Funmmyastic:
The lady ought to have walk away when the guy did not act according to the set down terms.

funmisticqueen2:
I don't post other people's pictures online without thier permission. That's a line I would never cross.

Kennedyiheme:
its a public forum, its wrong but its not a crime .. there is no rule against that. If you dont want that, go offline..

Ekemeze:
No difference in your own case. are you a single mother who was unfortunate to have opened your legs to a jerk? because this whole shit(hating men) you're doing here was born outta frustration, bitterness, anger, pride of the single mothers primarily.

funmisticqueen2:
God forbid, I know better than to get pregnant for an irresponsible man before marriage.

The apparent frustration is as a result of the mistakes I see other women make in my line of work. How women choose poverty and lose their lives because of hormones and a fuckboy's excuses.

I saw these everyday and went to learn how to defend myself against the wiles of men. It is a decision I never regret.

ednut1:
how old is the lady And is she married now. Cohabiting self is a low for both of them.

funmisticqueen2:
she should be 28. She keeps forming woke, due to her upbringing. Still unmarried, doing her master's degree in Oxford under chevening scholarship.

funmisticqueen2:
God forbid, I know better than to get pregnant for an irresponsible man before marriage.

The apparent frustration is as a result of the mistakes I see other women make in my line of work. How women choose poverty and lose their lives because of hormones and a fuckboy's excuses.

I saw these everyday and went to learn how to defend myself against the wiles of men. It is a decision I never regret.

Ekemeze:
You see what I'm talking about? its the end product of bashing men, what did u expect?

women are dangerous, same with men, you better be careful here, because there is no gain in all of these. Even your general overseer Ngozi Chimamanda has suddenly gone mute and is enjoying her marriage. talk of brainwashing

KevinDein:
Honest question, how do you intend to stop the emboldened seeing that majority of men, especially in this part of the world, are actually what we'll consider "broke" (thanks in part to women taking up jobs that would have hitherto belonged to men)?

Are you advocating polygamy where a top 20% male marries multiple wives? Or are you suggesting women stay without a relationship/marriage if they can't get a high value male?

ednut1:
oxford brooke abi real oxford . But wetin go make small girl like am cohabite lol. I want a 50:50 marriage and i am going to get it abroad not in nigeria sha. I have been in one in the uk before and no issues dey

Ekemeze:
For Christ's sake, you call it "self defence"? bashing men equals self defence? don't you think it sounds dumb?

Why is it too hard for u to understand that, as much as there are bad eggs among the men, there must be gullible women to fall prey for them. These things can never stop and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do about it. Not even opening a thousand thread on nairaland bashing men can stop this. Its nature!

As a matter of fact, women even prefer those cunny broke ass playboys to honest men. Including you.

funmisticqueen2:
No, I am advocating that men live up to standard, let them create jobs for themselves and others to meet up the demands of an increasing population. Men should also be held accountable for their actions. Women taking the so called available jobs is not an excuse.

And my proposed method is that women stop accepting the bare minimum from men. Start rejecting subparmen more often, yes a lot of women and men will end up single. Maybe the smart ones will upgrade into the 20% and grow the number to 40 or 50%

It is better to be single with peace of mind, than transmitting mediocrity to the next generation. God knows our generation is mediocre enough.

I seethe in anger whenever I see a patient say 'God will provide' as an excuse to wallow in poverty and ignorance. Bringing up their children to be future cannon fodder for Boko Haram, Fulani herdsmen and organized crime Lords. Because let's not lie, their odds of making it are slim to none.

Ekemeze:
For Christ's sake, you call it "self defence"? bashing men equals self defence? don't you think it sounds dumb?

Why is it too hard for u to understand that, as much as there are bad eggs among the men, there must be gullible women to fall prey for them. These things can never stop and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING you can do about it. Not even opening a thousand thread on nairaland bashing men can stop this. Its nature!

As a matter of fact, women even prefer those cunny broke ass playboys to honest men. Including you.

KevinDein:
Fair point but what you want isn't gonna happen so it's better you accept that, find some peace and enjoy the little time you have on have on earth.
Alternatively, you can stay in this state of anger, emitting negative energy and driving every sane person in your life away.

Not a tough choice tbh.

Kennedyiheme:
never take a woman serious, she says one thing and then another in reality they really don't know ehat they want... i saw a video where a lady said she prefers bad men than good ones as good ones are too boring..
That same idi*ot would probably post on some thread bashing men

funmisticqueen2:
you have been married before? Wow!

What happened to the marriage. God bless our hustles too

funmisticqueen2:
I and her are not the same, just like all men are not the same. She has her preference and I have mine

funmisticqueen2:
Sooooo, now I know that going 50/50 is a terrible idea and a sham. However, in the past I did not know any better as I thought I was being progressive or that it made sense.However


My friend's Story:

She well to do, about 3 years my senior and very staunch in her beliefs also now a chartered accountant.

She was dating a guy for 4 years then(I know, ). It was her first serious relationship. She's super smart, like getting scholarships and a philosophical kinda smart, and a feminist to the core. Since the start of the relationship, He suggested that a relationship is a partnership, hence they should do everything 50:50. she used to have the mindset of "It makes sense to go in half of the bills because this isn't the 1960 anymore and many women are working now. It's not fair to the guy to pay all the bills". I loved her a lot, but it was one of the topics we both disagreed on that time.

I told her that everything wouldn't be exactly 50/50 as that's impossible, but her expectation was that it would be close. That also included housework as well.

Things became interesting when she and her boyfriend decided to rent a flat together.

They decided to split the bill and house chores. Even though at first he cooked, he stopped doing that as she began to learn how to cook soups from his tribe. There was a time when she lost her job at the beginning of buhari regime, so of course he had to pick up all the bills. She did all the cooking and housework and continued to look for a job because she felt it was the right thing to do. He would come home to a neat house, a hot meal but tired girlfriend. She eventually found another, but the pay was less.

However, he too lost his job about a year later and she was paying all the bills, there was almost no reciprocity. She would come home to a dirty house and no food. That was the time that she was working and going to courses to write her ACCA exams. Back then she would complain to me, since also was friends with the guy. She was so frustrated.



It became so bad that she had to resort to nagging when she got home and asked why the dishes were not done, he'd begin to do them while she would do other house chores....but he had all day to do them, . On a side note, she then began to fail her papers, and all he had was the audacity to say "Maybe you should find more time to study. She was making good grades when she was working and writing exams." All she kept telling me was, "IF HE HELPED AROUND THE HOUSE AND COOKED I WOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO STUDY!!" Not only that, he had an online course, for 2 months which hardly count as full time But she didn't say anything.He eventually got another job though.

People suggested that she was emasculating him, so she said calmly tried talked to him about his lack of effort on several occasions but it didn't seem to matter although he agreed he'd do more.

He had a bad habit of starting chores and not finishing them (whether he had a job or not) and always had an excuse:

"I got distracted." "I'll get to it later." "I'm too busy"

It didn't help that family members were excusing his behavior. They claimed they always had to do his chores as he never finished them either, when they were kids. She didn't care about that. He wasn't a child anymore and that screamed lack of maturity.

She got so sick of it that she decided to be petty (she still regrets it). She didn't wash dishes for an entire month just to see how far it would go. Well, She only washed what she needed personally and left the rest. Surprisingly, he complained within a week. "The dishes haven't been done in a few days..." And she immediately proceeded to give most of the excuses he gave her the MULTIPLE times she confronted him about it during that month. He was pissed, but yet, only did the dishes a total of three times that month and had an attitude doing even that.

She ended up doing dishes again because she was tired of the state of the kitchen although it was only twice a week and that still wasn't enough for him.

Eventually, her new company was downsized and her salary was slashed. So she couldn't pay half like she used to. It was agreed that he'd pay rent and she'd pay the utilities and cable. Yeah...he eventually didn't like that anymore either.

He also started proposing marriage and wanting her to get pregnant before that and she said no. He asked why. She told him it was because It felt like she was doing most of everything. She did most of the cooking and cleaning still and having a baby would be more work for her. They had an argument about it. She honestly felt bad and thought maybe he would be a good dad but in any case, as if she didn't have enough red flags, this was the moment that confirmed 50/50 ideology was not working out for her. Just the thought of bringing a child into the world when she felt he wasn't even helping her or being supportive at that point was too much.

Eventually the relationship ended (I was the only happy one) . Her reasoning was because they weren't making each other happy and she couldn't take it anymore, and his was because she was a lazy woman who wasn't sacrificing for the relationship like he was (rolling my eyes at him).

She is in London today, doing her master's under a scholarship tuition free and all expenses paid. We still keep in touch. The guy is married. But he complains of how dirty his wife is. Ain't karma a bitch. The end.

Anyway, all that to say 50/50 is a scam. I feel like there are too many guys who proudly exclaim, "It's not 1950 anymore!" Or "It's 2020 now", but it obviously only applies to bills and NOT housework. They want the woman to still embrace her "gender role" 100% and do all the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing if a child or children are involved but also want the woman to step in HIS gender role as the provider and pay for half the bills as well. That's already 150% at least on her part while he's doing 50%

Also, I know that a financially well off man is not the only qualification because some will financially abuse women and I'm not advocating for complete dependency on a man either. All men have to be vetted the same in many areas no matter what.

funmisticqueen2:
Sooooo, now I know that going 50/50 is a terrible idea and a sham. However, in the past I did not know any better as I thought I was being progressive or that it made sense.However


My friend's Story:

She well to do, about 3 years my senior and very staunch in her beliefs also now a chartered accountant.

She was dating a guy for 4 years then(I know, ). It was her first serious relationship. She's super smart, like getting scholarships and a philosophical kinda smart, and a feminist to the core. Since the start of the relationship, He suggested that a relationship is a partnership, hence they should do everything 50:50. she used to have the mindset of "It makes sense to go in half of the bills because this isn't the 1960 anymore and many women are working now. It's not fair to the guy to pay all the bills". I loved her a lot, but it was one of the topics we both disagreed on that time.

I told her that everything wouldn't be exactly 50/50 as that's impossible, but her expectation was that it would be close. That also included housework as well.

Things became interesting when she and her boyfriend decided to rent a flat together.

They decided to split the bill and house chores. Even though at first he cooked, he stopped doing that as she began to learn how to cook soups from his tribe. There was a time when she lost her job at the beginning of buhari regime, so of course he had to pick up all the bills. She did all the cooking and housework and continued to look for a job because she felt it was the right thing to do. He would come home to a neat house, a hot meal but tired girlfriend. She eventually found another, but the pay was less.

However, he too lost his job about a year later and she was paying all the bills, there was almost no reciprocity. She would come home to a dirty house and no food. That was the time that she was working and going to courses to write her ACCA exams. Back then she would complain to me, since also was friends with the guy. She was so frustrated.



It became so bad that she had to resort to nagging when she got home and asked why the dishes were not done, he'd begin to do them while she would do other house chores....but he had all day to do them, . On a side note, she then began to fail her papers, and all he had was the audacity to say "Maybe you should find more time to study. She was making good grades when she was working and writing exams." All she kept telling me was, "IF HE HELPED AROUND THE HOUSE AND COOKED I WOULD HAVE MORE TIME TO STUDY!!" Not only that, he had an online course, for 2 months which hardly count as full time But she didn't say anything.He eventually got another job though.

People suggested that she was emasculating him, so she said calmly tried talked to him about his lack of effort on several occasions but it didn't seem to matter although he agreed he'd do more.

He had a bad habit of starting chores and not finishing them (whether he had a job or not) and always had an excuse:

"I got distracted." "I'll get to it later." "I'm too busy"

It didn't help that family members were excusing his behavior. They claimed they always had to do his chores as he never finished them either, when they were kids. She didn't care about that. He wasn't a child anymore and that screamed lack of maturity.

She got so sick of it that she decided to be petty (she still regrets it). She didn't wash dishes for an entire month just to see how far it would go. Well, She only washed what she needed personally and left the rest. Surprisingly, he complained within a week. "The dishes haven't been done in a few days..." And she immediately proceeded to give most of the excuses he gave her the MULTIPLE times she confronted him about it during that month. He was pissed, but yet, only did the dishes a total of three times that month and had an attitude doing even that.

She ended up doing dishes again because she was tired of the state of the kitchen although it was only twice a week and that still wasn't enough for him.

Eventually, her new company was downsized and her salary was slashed. So she couldn't pay half like she used to. It was agreed that he'd pay rent and she'd pay the utilities and cable. Yeah...he eventually didn't like that anymore either.

He also started proposing marriage and wanting her to get pregnant before that and she said no. He asked why. She told him it was because It felt like she was doing most of everything. She did most of the cooking and cleaning still and having a baby would be more work for her. They had an argument about it. She honestly felt bad and thought maybe he would be a good dad but in any case, as if she didn't have enough red flags, this was the moment that confirmed 50/50 ideology was not working out for her. Just the thought of bringing a child into the world when she felt he wasn't even helping her or being supportive at that point was too much.

Eventually the relationship ended (I was the only happy one) . Her reasoning was because they weren't making each other happy and she couldn't take it anymore, and his was because she was a lazy woman who wasn't sacrificing for the relationship like he was (rolling my eyes at him).

She is in London today, doing her master's under a scholarship tuition free and all expenses paid. We still keep in touch. The guy is married. But he complains of how dirty his wife is. Ain't karma a bitch. The end.

Anyway, all that to say 50/50 is a scam. I feel like there are too many guys who proudly exclaim, "It's not 1950 anymore!" Or "It's 2020 now", but it obviously only applies to bills and NOT housework. They want the woman to still embrace her "gender role" 100% and do all the cooking, cleaning, and child rearing if a child or children are involved but also want the woman to step in HIS gender role as the provider and pay for half the bills as well. That's already 150% at least on her part while he's doing 50%

Also, I know that a financially well off man is not the only qualification because some will financially abuse women and I'm not advocating for complete dependency on a man either. All men have to be vetted the same in many areas no matter what.