₦airaland Forum

MusaChukwudi:
Yeye..... what did you marry for? A woman to spend her whole life massaging your ego? You are on a long thing. The rule of the game had changed bro. Marriage in the 20th century is pure partnership of equals. If you don't like the marriage then end it! Let a woman do her thing while you do yours. NOBODY owns anybody and that is what we are slow to accept in Nija.

AfroKnight:
You deserve chilled beer!


Men should stop settling for less.

Nna collect!

MusaChukwudi:
Shut up there. I have 2 daughters, 1 is already a finance professional and the other will become a doctor by fire by force. None of them is going anywhere to massage some idiot's ego by being an obedient wife- otherwise I will scatter the marriage myself.

Shut up, it is not a man's job to be feeding his wife in the 21st century!!!!

2buffagain:
1) Is she in school? What course is she in? If she is not in school what is she doing or aiming at? Basically analyze her for potential as she no doubt did you.

2) Eww. Why would I want a house wife?
I would rather she apply herself to other things besides only just child rearing, be it business or an actual career. Keeps her interesting and realistic. We should both be able to come back home and trade stories of our victories and learn from each other, as opposed to just "guess what, Junior pooped on me today".

That can happen for a time, but that cannot be her entire life plan.

Reason is that will become a problem when that child grows up and no longer need her or leaves the house, like they are supposed to. What next for her? She has done nothing else over the years. She used that child as an excuse to not engage her mind in other things.

Also you hardly hear men being honest about this, but There are a lot of men who would end up disrespecting her because she is fully dependent on him for everything. This typically begins after his first financial strain.

This is the point where she starts feeling useless and starts looking for funny ways to find relevance for herself. I would rather spare my wife from that psychological turmoil.

Wifey will understand that, as much as we love our children, they must leave the nest. Her life must continue after they do, so she can't afford to make it all about the children. Even so, God forbid but if something were to happen to him, would it not be better that the woman actually has the capability to keep that family going? Instead of everything going to hell. She would then not even be able to provide for the children who she has made her whole life about.

That aside, nobody is trying to have that many children in this day and age. 2 is fine. _{I can be persuaded to 3, but she would have to convince me hard to get that high.}

emmanuelewumi:
uote author=RisenPhoenix post=87939212]

No.

A simp is one who is subservient to women, does not understand their manipulations and puts them on a pedestal. One way of doing this is by giving in to the feminist idea of role blurring, which is what your method leads to. If she has to contribute financially, then her work is as important as yours, so you have no moral right to consider yourself as the head of the family, nor can you shirk equally being responsible for roles that are traditionally hers like child nurture and housework; this is straight out of feminism 101.

Having a financially contributing wife automatically disqualifies you from any respect in marriage. Only pimps and players make money off women and they can only sustain it for a short while, and tend to use fear and addictions more often than game; also it only works on damaged women. An alpha male does not shirk responsibility; ever. He also has too much pride in his abilities to sponge off a mere female. Do you think alphas like Donald Trump, Aliko Dangote or Ned Nwoko for example squabble over who pays the home expenses with their wives?

MusaChukwudi:
[s]Mumu oshi. How old are you? Alpha male ko, beta male ni! By the time you get to 60 you will realise the stupidity and folly of your words. A woman who is not a financial back up will work you to poverty and early grave. Before you insult me please go and ask your uncles and fathers in your family.
If they tell you the opposite, then please come and insult me as much as you like![/s]

RisenPhoenix:
They might, they might not; such women do not marry men who are unable to take care of the home front without help from them. Women typically marry up financially, not down. Their marriages are also hardly the kind of marriage most people aspire to.



No matter her character, no woman will truly respect a man who cannot fully provide for her. Though some women try to conceal the contempt for their dependent husbands out of fear of societal disapproval, it is a natural ingrained feeling. That is why you see women feeling contempt for their old, non productive husbands and transferring their 'love' to their productive sons and daughters who now provide for them.



I am not against women working or making money; even becoming wealthier than their husbands. My premise is that the ultimate financial responsibility of the home should always remain the husband's. The woman should be satisfied with that which her husband can provide comfortably; and the husband should not force her to give him out of her money to maintain the family in a standard that he cannot sustain singlehandedly. That is what I am against.

2buffagain:
Again, your lens is covered by your limited mindset and obsolete life choices.

The reason the woman does that is because "Him giving me money" is all your shallow relationship was ever about.
When there is nothing left in your pocket, why won't she transfer her attention to who will feed her?

You literally trained the woman to be like a pet dog that feeds from your hand for years, and you expect the dog to still look at you after food in your hand has finished? This is why I say most of your ilk have no natural game.

2buffagain:
Again, your lens is covered by your limited mindset and obsolete life choices.

The reason the woman does that is because "Him giving me money" is all your shallow relationship was ever about.
When there is nothing left in your pocket, why won't she transfer her attention to who will feed her?

You literally trained the woman to be like a pet dog that feeds from your hand for years, and you expect the dog to still look at you after food in your hand has finished?

MrBrownJay1:
pls enlighten me then because majority of EMPLOYED WOMEN go to work in the morning and come back home at night....so what type of working women (that dont spend too much time outside the home) are you talking about?! what specific job are you talking about?

RisenPhoenix:
No.

A simp is one who is subservient to women, does not understand their manipulations and puts them on a pedestal. One way of doing this is by giving in to the feminist idea of role blurring, which is what your method leads to. If she has to contribute financially, then her work is as important as yours, so you have no moral right to consider yourself as the head of the family, nor can you shirk equally being responsible for roles that are traditionally hers like child nurture and housework; this is straight out of feminism 101.

Having a financially contributing wife automatically disqualifies you from any respect in marriage. Only pimps and players make money off women and they can only sustain it for a short while, and tend to use fear and addictions more often than game; also it only works on damaged women. An alpha male does not shirk responsibility; ever. He also has too much pride in his abilities to sponge off a mere female. Do you think alphas like Donald Trump, Aliko Dangote or Ned Nwoko for example squabble over who pays the home expenses with their wives?

APOPTOSIS:
U seriously sound AFFECTED.
why not channel your ENERGY towards fixing your Family...?
Who wants to bear the BURDEN of others.. especially this time around..?

vital94:
Who else notice that ladies don't comment on this topic.those species are unpredictable.

Amanda4life:
Ohhh?

Because she got married to you she will not contribute to the family she came from

Please oga

I believe you know how much ordinary NAN cost in the market

What of breast milk

Diapers that were used for her

All the school fees

Food she got from her immidiate parent's.
After all these expenses you expect her not to give back to her parents.

Just assume she is your daughter. You know how much is school fees for a good school

See its not by force to get married

You can continue to live your life as a single man.
Don't do follow follow when you are not ready for it.

Plead:
Is there anything wrong with a woman making her own money? Cuz I don’t know why y’all female folks are angry over the OP.

2buffagain:
1) Is she in school? What course is she in? If she is not in school what is she doing or aiming at? Basically analyze her for potential as she no doubt did you.

2) Eww. Why would I want a house wife?
I would rather she apply herself to other things besides only just child rearing, be it business or an actual career. Keeps her interesting and realistic. We should both be able to come back home and trade stories of our victories and learn from each other, as opposed to just "guess what, Junior pooped on me today".

That can happen for a time, but that cannot be her entire life plan.

Reason is that will become a problem when that child grows up and no longer need her or leaves the house, like they are supposed to. What next for her? She has done nothing else over the years. She used that child as an excuse to not engage her mind in other things.

Also you hardly hear men being honest about this, but There are a lot of men who would end up disrespecting her because she is fully dependent on him for everything. This typically begins after his first financial strain.

This is the point where she starts feeling useless and starts looking for funny ways to find relevance for herself. I would rather spare my wife from that psychological turmoil.

Wifey will understand that, as much as we love our children, they must leave the nest. Her life must continue after they do, so she can't afford to make it all about the children. Even so, God forbid but if something were to happen to him, would it not be better that the woman actually has the capability to keep that family going? Instead of everything going to hell. She would then not even be able to provide for the children who she has made her whole life about.

That aside, nobody is trying to have that many children in this day and age. 2 is fine. _{I can be persuaded to 3, but she would have to convince me hard to get that high.}

lepasharon:
So why bother getting a degree at all? Why not be a housewife then?

djon78:
This looks more like a gold diggers comment.
Many successful men I know today didn't just start off making big money.
It was all about a progressive increase.
In fact many of them were initially not that buoyant and there wives married them without that much money.

I have sisters married to very wealthy men. But when those men came then, they hadn't much. But today the story is different


So like I said this is a gold diggers comment. Gold diggers rearly end up with rich men. Because they don't have the capacity to attract one. And even if by chance they do, they rearly sustain the marriage because of same lack of capacity.

sweetrace:
That was a comment made by an intelligent female. Chasing money at the expense of giving children the attention they need is not what I want.

2buffagain:
And how long do you think these children will need your attention for?

This is why a lot of you don't know how to let your children be adults.
It's because you have nothing else occupying your mind.

That is how one so-called mother inlaw will be coming to the son's house to be causing problems with his wife.
It's all a symptom of conc. joblessness.

MusaChukwudi:
Shut up there. I have 2 daughters, 1 is already a finance professional and the other will become a doctor by fire by force. None of them is going anywhere to massage some idiot's ego by being an obedient wife- otherwise I will scatter the marriage myself.

Shut up, it is not a man's job to be feeding his wife in the 21st century!!!!

CHoccolaTE:
In Nigeria househelps cover kids too.
Why are you talking as if you don't know?

emmanuelewumi:
If you check my writings and contributions on Nairaland you will find out that I am very active in the investment section.

Character and good attitude is very important. Especially when you have a supportive spouse.

A lady who is a full house wife once sent a private chat to me on what she could invest N10 million on. I asked her how she got the fund, she said she gets paid a salary of 150k every month by the husband which she had been saving for the past 5 years, she inflated school fees and other house hold expenses, and the expenses the husband spends on his in-laws. Unfortunately this was a time the husband needed N5 million to execute a project that will give a profit of over N2 million to the man.

I asked why can't she loan her husband the money, she said the husband will stop all he had been doing for if he knew she has over N10 million in her name.

I sha helped her to open a money market fund account with one of the Investment banking firms at Ikoyi Lagos.

chukzyfcbb:
First of all it's your job as a man to feed your wife and your family, a man who doesn't do so is worse than an infidel says the holy book and you can argue till Jesus comes it doesn't change t he fact.

Secondly, the title is different from the nonsense you are oozing out. the title is putting a preference on men to go for women who make money.

what if she was unemployed at the time, what if she is still a student or just graduated, what if she lost her job at the time, what if she lost all in her bizness all at the time of meeting her, would you use because of that and dump her, simply because she makes no money


Having a wife who works is a good thing! That way both of you have something to talk about, there is some intellectual discuss. Besides you want a woman who can contribute to any investment ideas you come up with and can handle investment deals while you are not there.

But the fact remains , a woman who works shouldn't be a criteria for choosing a wife.

As the Man it's your role to teach your wife, cultivate her and bring the good out of your family. Everybody has things, ideas they are interested in including she, you can bring it out of her and nuture it if only you are not so focused on her pocket.

However, she shouldn't forget her primary role in the home.

This is my point

MusaChukwudi:
Ok, before we go any further arguing blindly, how old are you? I have trained 2 children through University, how many have you trained?
How many 45 - 60 year old men do you know?

The world is a dynamic place, constantly changing and so the rules that applied 50 years ago no longer applies today. Marrying a woman today without looking at her PROVEN economic capacity will send the man to his early demise or old age full of regret and bitterness. Before you respond and insult me please please go and ask older men in your family or community.

Why do you think MARRIAGE has completely collapsed in the advanced countries? Do your research, it's already in Africa. Go and see what is happening in the Northern Nigeria.

A woman without economic value is NOT a marriage material in the 21st century!

chukzyfcbb:
Marriage is collapsing because we have deviated from the natural norms.
Both parties don't know their roles anymore.

Mehn want women to join them in bringing home the bacons and th eggs while still demanding full respect

Women want mehn to join them in tidying the homes, doing dishes and still be the same Loving man she knew..

Both parties cannot live by both terms and then quarrel builds up which leads to divorce

MSEdLAW:
Oga super hero marry character and forget financial sustainability..no one plans for the worst in life, but if happens you are no longer capable of providing for your family, CHARACTER would continue the good work!!!

Be fucking real no one is against anyone seeking out a decent , upright bankable charactered woman, but in today’s world that’s not a priority.. a woman that can compliment financially is

...done are the days of parasitic relationships...it MUST BE SYMBIOTIC...if u need a good character woman who will attend to all your domestic needs get a MAID!!!

sucre:
Are you married?

King44:
i am not marrued and not close to that yet but what i have observed is if she compliments that intelligence and education with some quality skills that she could make money from job is fine but nothing beats skills matters

benji93:
What the hell does mentally broke even mean? You guys just invent phrases whenever you wanna defend your argument. I am afraid, some level of independence is part of mental awakeness. Nothing is a sure tool to help any marriage last. If there are lots of liabilities out there that have jobs, then there are a lot more liabilities among the jobless. Any lady that is not partially independent at least is a liability. You may tolerate that liability, but it doesn't change the fact that it is.

UrRealG:
Who says you can't have a wife with a good source of income and a good character still?
Never settle for less, money is importanter

Lostz:
money is as important as character

franchasng:
In today world, only broke men marry broke, unemployed ladies without any sellable skill or profession


If you want a financially valuable lady as wife, then hustle to become financially buoyant if not na broke, chewing gum girls and ladies who love calling guys broke will be your only option oh lol.


If you want to marry a valuable lady as your wife, then just forget about marrying ladies below 27yrs because in Nigeria, ladies start having sense from 25yrs and then start becoming financially valuable from the age of 27yrs and above.


You cannot be looking for an instagram slay queen of 22 or 24yrs to marry and still expect to marry a financially valuable lady, it does not work that way.


Stop chasing instagram slay queens and all those bimbo whose only quality to offer to a man is their big nyash and big boobs

If you are a single guy reading this, no matter how rich you may think you are, please don't marry broke, unemployed lady with no sellable skill or sellable profession, it is a recipe for disaster. Marry wisely, marry with your brains just as ladies do.