₦airaland Forum

hardywaltz:
Person dey shine dat Congo

I don't think so bro. Its totally locked sir..... Thanks for your input...

Not every fine or good looking girl is okay.. most have one form of problem or another.

@OP fasten your seat belt cos you've entered one chance

Tripitaka:
OP brace yourself. A lot of people will elect to guilt-trip you for choosing to abstain till after your wedding forgetting that it's a life filled with choices and you have made yours. Even the proponents of "virgin or nothing" will join in the hypocrisy.

The "pain" in first time sex is more psychological than physical. Actually it isn't supposed to hurt though it does for some people. You have to take it slow, calm her down, use a lot of lubricants and exercise a whole lot of patience, while we hope that there is no underlying medical comdition.Trust me, it can be frustrating and you may end up nutting before you gain entrance seeing that you're green.

That said, I'm curious as to how you told your parents-in-law about your inability to have sex with your wife. Did you say it in English or in your local dialect? Quite strange.

The pain is more psychological than physical?

Really?


It's not supposed to hurt?


Are you kidding me?

Funny what men think about female body.

You are a man what do you know about our body?
You can never understand how we feel no matter the empathy.

See the number of peep on dis page... So many bad shides, 4 freaking pages... Na season fime?

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

You need to take her to the hospital, it may be a medical issue

Tales by moonlight

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

Is there something really wrong with you and her parents. So there's no sensible person that could direct you and your wife to a doctor. Can't you easily see that this is a medical anomaly that probably needs surgery or at least a doctors intervention.

...Go get a beautiful couple go to a hotel with them let you and your wife watch the pre-intimacy then penetrative sex and see if she will not fall in line

Or get a romantic sex film and both of you watch
then start the pre-intimacy and all

Point is she need to see sex as something beautiful and captivating if not downright simulating

Let her see first hand what she is missing

That long post from the 1st reply WON'T help you.
- Trim / groom your sensitive areas...both of you.
- Take a night out in town (club night, karaoke, games arcade...etc) ....get slightly more than tipsy BUT not drunk.
- Get back home, lots of pre-intimacy...saliva everywhere....
-Stick it in.
There will BE some pain...its almost unavoidable. But, there will be pleasure at the end.
Enjoy.

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

Go n meet a gynaecologist

Both of u re so dumb! Yuck

Blessedone26:
I don't think so bro. Its totally locked sir..... Thanks for your input...

Your wife should have told you before you got married because she is fully aware of her condition.

All the tears na blackmail

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

inside life

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

doctor pleasure.
i have learnt alot from you.
u have done well.

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

Wow.. oga you go de suck anything suckable.

Haaa someone his giving her if you don't know make you now

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

Bro, respect sexual social distancing. Wait till after corona...you can bang her front, back, upside down...on the toilet seat on on the kitchen table, and as many times per day as you want.

Cc
Rekhina
Husbandsnatcha

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

Love Guru

flokii:
Your wife should have told you before you got married because she is fully aware of her condition.

All the tears na blackmail

Like lagos lockdown

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

See what lockdown has caused. If there was movement, who would have time for this novel?

Nawao na the whole of nairalanders dae this thread

Ask if she was circumcised.
That might be the root of the problem. Physically and psychologically.

crafteck:
Like lagos lockdown

Abi.. no entry or exit

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

Choi

Tripitaka:
OP brace yourself. A lot of people will elect to guilt-trip you for choosing to abstain till after your wedding forgetting that it's a life filled with choices and you have made yours. Even the proponents of "virgin or nothing" will join in the hypocrisy.

The "pain" in first time sex is more psychological than physical. Actually it isn't supposed to hurt though it does for some people. You have to take it slow, calm her down, use a lot of lubricants and exercise a whole lot of patience, while we hope that there is no underlying medical comdition.Trust me, it can be frustrating and you may end up nutting before you gain entrance seeing that you're green.

That said, I'm curious as to how you told your parents-in-law about your inability to have sex with your wife. Did you say it in English or in your local dialect? Quite strange.

e-Shock me oh. But this your kweshon funny oh

Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

I honestly doff my hart for this write up.

@Op, i will also suggest you try this write up 100% since u said u only try it @ just 85%.

watch a film together and learn. there's no shame not knowing.

you don mean it

They can do it in the hospital. Doctors can apply anaesthetic. She will be awake/sleeping and won't feel any pain while you are breaking the hymen.
She's afraid and this is not news. She's normal. A psychologist will help to know if being awake or sleeping will be the best option for your wife state of mind. Please, spend money on professionals (Doctor & Psychologist) so that you won't create another psycho problem for ur wife while you are trying to do it yourself.

Butoneday2:
Mr. Man let me tell if your not fuvcking does not mean that your wife is not fucking, she might have someone fucking her behind you. Is your so called wife a Virgin even if she's a virgin have you confirmed whether she's a virgin by putting your middle finger in there. Am smelling something, maybe your wife is a lesbian never can tell.

Thanks for your reasonable input. The place is totally locked plus we've made upto 50% progress after that bros donald post... The issue she actually had was her mother. The only sex education she got was that sex is painful. I only came here to ask if I could use sedative without side effect. A little thrust, I get scared when goes silent in pains, I will have to back out a bit cos she's acting like sometime that wants to faint. Got to be calling her name different times. What do I tell people, woman got silent under me?.

Pls direct your wife to me. I will help her. Call me on 08027362290.