Donald3d:


I am about to go very raw, kindly permit me, I haven't gone this raw here before, but you need help, so here it is.
I hope this doesn't change people's perspectives about me sha , we Nigerians like been mute about sex. Its an important ingredient in marriage, no matter how spiritual you are.

The best way to solve any problem is identifying the source or root of the problem and eliminate it .

From what you have said, she enjoys pre-intimacy , I would have loved to ask what type of pre-initmacy to help find a solution, but I also understand she is your wife and you can't be too explicit because this is a public forum.

Anyway, as I said earlier, let's tackle the source of the problem, which is FEAR, she is afraid, very afraid, so we need to eliminate the fear.

She is also pressured because you are "reporting" her to people, keep this between both of you Sir, please stop involving other people, fear and pressure is a very dangerous combination.

Please don't give her any sedatives, you really don't need it.

The issue with her fear is closely related to why lubricant aren't even working, the internal muscles of her privates would contract making it tighter because she is afraid, her natural lubrication won't also be discharged because her fear is making her mind "switch" it off, coupled with the fact that you are also scared of inflicting injuries on her privates.

There are two possible ways to eliminate her fear

1.Trying to convince her not to be afraid (easier said than done)
2. Introducing something that would involuntarily eliminate her fear.

I assume you have tried number 1, let's go to number two.
There are a few things that are greater than fear, but we would be sticking to the subject matter.
In this context and with the peculiarity of the situation, there is only one thing I believe can exceed that fear ...... Pleasure , Excessive Pleasure, when a human experiences excessive pleasure, the body releases pain killers and anti-stress chemicals.

So what should you do ?
You need a non-invasive pleasure mechanism, proven and tested , the most painless sexual activity. Guaranteed to give utmost pleasure .
You guessed it , O r a l Sex.

Its isn't just about putting your mouth there , you need to do it right (forgive me as I am about to go a bit raw).

You know your wife more than anyone, you know what turns her on, her pleasure spots. Use your mouth very well on those spots.
You need to understand that there is a mission here. O r g a s m
But there are some "hot spots" common among most women

1. The nipples
2.The clitoris

I would focus on number 2 ..
1.Make sure the bed is well made, clean sheets, turn on the AC , if you don't have one, turn on the fan and leave it running to cool the room. Make sure no one else except the both of you is in your home, she needs to be comfortable.

2.Ensure you both have a warm bath and wash each others privates before you commence.You wash hers, she washes yours.Try and start up a conversation about some funny experiences you've both had, how you met each other and fell in love , how much you love her, all while washing each others privates. You are psychologically manipulating/distracting her with this.When you are done, dry each others body and carry her to the bed.Careful, so you don't slip and fall oo, you can leave that part out, but women love it !. You can back her like a baby or carry her in your arms, whichever you are ok with. Make sure she is unclad, but put on a boxers short, this eliminates her fears of seeing an erect instrument.

3.Its important you place a pillow under her waist to elevate her lower region, it allows for easy access with your mouth and with your instrument, when its time for insertion. It also ensures you don't feel neck pain and can breathe well during the process.

4.Use your mouth on the clitoris till she "explodes", don't stop no matter how long it takes, but you have to be careful not to be too hard on it as you would get the opposite of the desired effect, you would give her pain instead of pleasure. You need to be gentle and firm(I know this sounds contradictory, I would explain), use your lips as they are soft tissue, that won't cause much bruising, suck on it, in and out, grab the whole of it (the clitoris--- I have attached an image for easy identification, its that slightly protruding part of her privates that looks like a mini peeeenis) with your lips and gently slide it out of your mouth, without it leaving your mouth completely, make sure your lips holds unto it(this is what stimulate it and gives pleasure), but not too tightly, you can use your tongue as support to put the clitoris in place, if the clitoris is slipping out of your mouth. Keep repeating this back and forth.

5.Now, its important to hold her, so you can feel the "rhythm" of her body, hold her sides, or her laps, start out slowly, but not to slowly, gradually increase your "sucking pace" as you notice the rhythm of her body starts to change . This method ensures you don't bruise her and you also don't get tired easily.It also ensures a natural flow and gradual increase in pleasure.It would get to a point you might have to go really fast, this clouds her brain with pleasure, do this only when the rhythm of her body tells you to do so, when she starts to slightly wriggle or when she asks you to increase your pace.

6. Do this till she "explodes", and wriggles in pleasure, most likely at this point you are also erect, its important you take advantage of this moment, because at this point, you have killed three birds with one stone. She is too climaxed to notice her fear, her body has released enough chemicals to considerably reduce pain and she is properly lubricated for relatively easy insertion.Don't waste time !!!. Slowly (not too slowly), insert, before she comes back to reality . Make sure the pillow is still under her it ensures her lower region is elevated, so you can see clearly for insertion , I assume from the beginning she is already lying flat on her back, spread her legs out gently, this also relaxes/expands the cavity of her privates.If you still find it a bit difficult to penetrate, manually use both hands to spread the outer privates open for easy access, glide in back and forth as you both copulate to produce a wonderful seed that would bear fruit in 9 months.

7. You might need to do this more than once to be successful at it .
8.The fact that you did all this doesn't mean she might not feel pain, it just reduces the pain, it also might totally eliminate it.
9.Once you start have it in mind that you must see it through till the end.
10.If she is in excessive pain, stop and repeat the same day or another day till you get it done.


NOTE: Please stop reporting her to people, apart from the fear she is feeling, reporting her or telling other people about it, is putting her under additional pressure and stress, its adding to her Psychological lock-down. Please don't be upset with her. Buy her gifts, make her feel loved, make her understand you aren't judging her or upset with her. I am sure this steps would work for you

NB: I am married by the way, in case anyone was wondering.

UPDATE !!!!! :

OP is making progress !!, I can't wait to chop naming ceremony rice

What manner of man thou art.....

adekS1:
hi ...hope u r good?
Kindly reply my mail.l miss that stuff u sent to me sometimes ago.thanks

What did I send to you?

Olunmercy56:


What did I send to you?

lol... Q and A

pentsystems:
I have been in your shoes before with an older virgin .. The more older a woman gets the more painful it will for her .. I believe your dick is too big or you have a curve dick that is another complication itself .. all you need to do
Step 1 : fun play with her by kissing and sucking her boobs . Kiss and lick all the sensible part in her body

Step 2 : start by trying to insert a pencil or a finger inside her private part first you have to assure her first that all the pain only happens in a a second that once your finger is in that all pains will be gone you may need to hook her down while trying to insert your finger inside her no matter what don’t pity her and make sure you are fast enough to be successful in your first attempt of doing that never allow her tell you that your finger is so painful that she prefers your dick just tell her there is no logic there that since your finger cannot enter how possible will it be for something as hard and big as your dick to enter when your finger cannot enter .. when successful with that .. you try to stroke the part with your finger gently till she is very relaxed while you are stroking with her private part with a finger

Step 3 : when you notice she is well relaxed introduce a second finger inside her private part without telling her about it you will need to hook her down and make sure she does not overpower you into removing your fingers from inside her private part just shook it in and hook her even if she is crying don’t remove your finger you will feel that you tearing something while inserting your second finger just continue till the second finger is fully inside her then keep it inside her because if you remove it you have to start again from step 1 another day then start stroking deep with the 2 finger till she is comfortable with it .. you may need to introduce a third finger if you have a bigger or a curve dick .. after that remove your fingers make sure you don’t let her rest ..

Step 4 : Try using lubricant i recommend olive oil and not Vaseline on your dick then try inserting it into her private part I pray it goes in but if it does not tell her to come up and try inserting it herself definitely it will go in if you have done your finger job well .. Then you stroke her with your dick slowly and gently till you cum ..

Note : make sure you don’t put on ac and even if are using fan make sure you switch it to lowest .. because breeze dry some pussy faster making it more painful for her .. You can also give her alcohol maybe Best Cream drink or night train it will help her a lot to beat the fear..

Hope small boys no Dey here no be me teach una bad thing ooo

Hmm... SMH You are mean.

Donald3d:


Sis, you have no idea how much people don't know about their own bodies.
For example, I laugh when I hear about some ladies urinating after sex to prevent pregnancy, thinking the urine would push/flush the sperm out, they don't know the urine has a totally different and separate passage !!!.
We learn everyday

Lol!
True to your words; that is what i also thought bt in a different occasion. People learn/know more as they grow.

cc fastmove

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

OP how far, hope u now have access to the garden of Eden now. lol. For some reason we cldnt get in touch but i trust d matter is all settled now. I wish u all d best

Blessedone26:
Hi nairalanders,

I dated my wife for close to 8 years without sex, we went to same school. Though the decision of no sex before marriage was mine. Cos I am a very addictive person, I never wanted to be addicted to sex during my undergraduate days. She later told me she was a virgin then which I never believed and I told her I am not interested in her being a virgin or not.

Fast forward to our wedding night last year, naxo amaria begin they cry my daddy, my daddy, lets do this thing nah, nah tears full bed. So I took her to see her dad the next day and both of them were crying like a baby.

We got back to our location, we made several attempts with no sex, we've seen different pharmacists, we but different lubricants, but a touch of "pola" on the honeypot area, she will start crying of pains, she's so scared to the extreme. Confession: It was after 3 months that we've been trying that I was even also able to recognise the location of virginal, I had been putting the thing in a wrong place initially. ....sorry, ain't a bookworm but a bit spirikoko

I reported her to her parents , they came, brought diiferent lubricants, still we weren't able to reach the promise land . Now we've decided to go the way of sedative drugs .

Is there any side effects to the drugs?

Do I have to get her to sign a paper cos women ain't predictable, that she won't start shouting emotional trauma in the future that her husband drugged her to have the first sex with her. We need kids mehn.

Thanks..

op what's up. You no update us again




I know say by now na she go dey ride you cowgirl.

Lol.. Op you're funny .

Aaa.. The pain no be here o. Just go easy on her. Also be judicious with the lubricant so she doesn't sustain much injury. This has been my fear for some time now but any how any how, God dey.

I won't advise a sedative. God forbid she starts blessing profusely, how do you address that? Let her be aware and you dont enter at once.

Day one, only cap
Day 2, a few inches and like that until the place is well massaged and ready to accommodate you fully. Exactly how ive drafted my own when the time comes.

Please dont rush her, I beg you. Please.

The lord is your strength.

Op, Don't Tell Me Dat U Av Been Looking 4 Her Common Entrance All Dis While.

Awesomemama:


And you think giving birth is less painful? If she wants kids as much as you do, then she should learn to deal with that fear cause childbirth is the real deal

you're insensitive and unempathethic