₦airaland Forum

Harlequeen:
Thank you. We know that our visions align. But we will give it our all.

factormatt6:
. I have a clear cut goal in life even before my girl come into the picture. I am the type that draw a plan and ways to fulfill my plan.I went back to school for a reason, I should have just settle for less.

funmisticqueen2:
their writing.styles are very different, although they like too much story.

LilMissFavvy:
You are so full of yourself, pride they say goes before a fall. Imargine you saying you feel a prince should never sleep alone at night, or a prince should never make love skin to skin, nonscence. I am not trying to promote unprotected sex, but your statements are so archaic, primitive, senseless, and full superstition. Grow up.

If at 30yrs, you feel you are too young to keep a fiancee and marry within the 2yrs interval she gave you, then it means you have planned your life to marry in old age, so be it.

As for the lady, yes, the two of you are compatible, and probably in love, as a smart girl, she is ready to leave you if you cannot make a decision within two years. In two years time you will be 32, I wonder how marriage can stop you from achiveing your dreams. Atimes couple's need a little space to clear their their head in relationships, it is not wise to call off the relationship now.

factormatt6:
. Sorry about my past, I am not proud of it. I have friends and family members who influence me when I was much younger but I am a change person. I gladly marry her in two years, hope my financial goals will yield results. Thanks for your advice.

yeyeosoronga:
Obviously, the writing styles are polar opposites, no middle ground. Raises a lot of questions, but let's continue watching.
Have you got some popcorn?

factormatt6:
. Sorry about my past, I am not proud of it. I have friends and family members who influence me when I was much younger but I am a change person. I gladly marry her in two years, hope my financial goals will yield results. Thanks for your advice.

Harlequeen:

factormatt6:
. Sorry about my past, I am not proud of it. I have friends and family members who influence me when I was much younger but I am a change person. I gladly marry her in two years, hope my financial goals will yield results. Thanks for your advice.

funmisticqueen2:
This is complicated. I don't even know where to advice you from. Let the elders contribute to this one.

Mods isilove mynd44 lalasticlala I think this story should be moved to front page

Harlequeen:
Hello everyone,I'm the girl op is talking about.

This is another long epistle

A few months ago I created a thread stating my difficulties finding men and a lot of you had wonderful advice to give To get more background on the matter, you could peep at the thread.

After that thread, I decided to be open minded, and a few weeks later, I met op. We have hit it off, and things happened, and are still happening fast. Also, I am 25 not 30, that must have been a mistake on his part....no biggie

Now on to the matter. I never really expected to meet op. He is a wonderful person. We love each other no doubt. Now the issue is so complex, To be honest, I don't even know what's wrong with me for distancing him like that. This emotional thing is a real hassle

Our relationship is long distance. Op has had experience with something similar, I haven't, and let me tell you. It is hard, very hard.

Also, I think it may have to do with my personality. I can be reserved at times and quite the loner. Also, emotions are not something I am used to. But I do know this. Op is someone who has a similar vision to mine. I just wasn't expecting fate to deal me the card that it did.

Although factormatt6 is determined, he's just starting afresh. One of the fears I have, is building with a man and making sacrifices for a man, and can you blame me? I see a lot of women get burned for trying that and getting discarded. I grew up in a home where I witnessed my parents fall out of love because one sacrificed her dreams to stay at home, get a small job and look after kids. She was so focused on making sure she trained us well, that she was a mother first,while he advanced in his career to put food on the table. Once he started making it. He started seeing his wife as too behind, too fat, too unsophisticated,too histronic for him or to be seen with his stingy ass. I don't hate my dad, but I will call a spade a spade, I also have a cordial relationship with both parents and tired of being a mediator so I left them to fate. They seem happy with their arrangement. Now we are grown up, and she's almost finished with school but she's also getting older. They still stay married because they are used to each other, besides I don't think there's any other woman who would let my dad get away with the BS my dad does like my thick skinned mom. A loveless relationship where they are just flatmates and happy with themselves. Growing up like this has shaped my personality. I told myself that I will not make the same mistake of putting myself on hold for a man, or his children. That's why I'm career oriented. What if something similar happens to me in future. He loves me now, but people always change. What will the future bring?


When I met factormatt6, What shocked me was the fact that he's starting school again, but that will take some years to finish, then he also had to go for his master's and PhD, what if things don't work out as planned, does that mean I'll be feeding a man and being the breadwinner? That's emotionally exhausting. What if I end up being a surrogate mother to a grown ass man? I cannot wish that situation on my enemy. That's why I act cold to him. Op has a mommy complex and I told him to deal with it. He then asked if I could be like a big sister, that sent alarm bells to my head, and we argued about it

So I find myself fighting between my common sense and my heart. I am struggling to convince myself that I am making the right choice. This is in no way his fault.He seems to know this too. It makes me act in ways that makes him feel like I don't trust him. My cold, blunt, introverted and loner nature isn't helping either.

About the matter of an ultimatum, it wasn't really an ultimatum per se. I don't know. One of the first things, I told him was that I only deal with results. So, he needs to put his life in order. I was I won't mind waiting for him for only two years for him to structure his life so that we can both go to my parents and I will not be embarrassed to present him to them. We could then focus on our career and start childbearing when we are more stable. I know he wants to marry me, but I tell him we aren't ready yet. This causes me to put a lot of pressure on him.


I know he's trying and giving it his all, but it seems like I am fighting myself. The battle to not see other people, and keep my options open, he calls me constantly, and I call him at times too, but we can spend 2-3hrs on the phone, and it doesn't help that factormatt6 is a great conversationalist. At times, I just feel like I am not in the mood for conversation but don't want to put it across to him, so as not to hurt his feelings.

Also, Op can be very insecure, It was one of the things I have noticed about him so he can take somethings I say or do personally , he then starts to sulk, so I find myself watching myself so that I don't hurt his feelings . But I also feel like I am in a landmine with him sometimes. He's also an intense person and that scares me, I am more laid back. He can also be a monitoring spirit at times but it's cool.


Then to top it all off, is this terrible lockdown, we try to keep things afloat by chatting a lot. But I find myself feeling drained. I started the lockdown earlier than everyone else and staying at home,leaves me drained. I feel like I don't have the energy anymore to read, chat with him, or even go outside. I find myself feeling heavy. All efforts made by my sisters to make me leave the compound prove abortive. Here I am, unemployed when I am supposed to the working and gathering finances for our visions and I am stuck at home. I am even resenting my family members for taking it so well. My parents still go to work because they are in essential services but I feel useless and just want to be left to myself. I feel like a failure. I'm scared of failing. I'm scared of being poor, and I'm poor right now.

factormatt6 I'm sorry if I made you feel bad for asking for space. I love you. It's not your fault. I'll come round soon. I know the lockdown is affecting him too. I keep arguing with him to make new friends or talk to more people online. But it's hard to do so this lockdown. Guess I am being my paranoid, afraid and unreasonable self as usual. It's not your fault dear. I love you.

Harlequeen:
Hello everyone,I'm the girl op is talking about.

This is another long epistle

A few months ago I created a thread stating my difficulties finding men and a lot of you had wonderful advice to give To get more background on the matter, you could peep at the thread.

After that thread, I decided to be open minded, and a few weeks later, I met op. We have hit it off, and things happened, and are still happening fast. Also, I am 25 not 30, that must have been a mistake on his part....no biggie

Now on to the matter. I never really expected to meet op. He is a wonderful person. We love each other no doubt. Now the issue is so complex, To be honest, I don't even know what's wrong with me for distancing him like that. This emotional thing is a real hassle

Our relationship is long distance. Op has had experience with something similar, I haven't, and let me tell you. It is hard, very hard.

Also, I think it may have to do with my personality. I can be reserved at times and quite the loner. Also, emotions are not something I am used to. But I do know this. Op is someone who has a similar vision to mine. I just wasn't expecting fate to deal me the card that it did.

Although factormatt6 is determined, he's just starting afresh. One of the fears I have, is building with a man and making sacrifices for a man, and can you blame me? I see a lot of women get burned for trying that and getting discarded. I grew up in a home where I witnessed my parents fall out of love because one sacrificed her dreams to stay at home, get a small job and look after kids. She was so focused on making sure she trained us well, that she was a mother first,while he advanced in his career to put food on the table. Once he started making it. He started seeing his wife as too behind, too fat, too unsophisticated,too histronic for him or to be seen with his stingy ass. I don't hate my dad, but I will call a spade a spade, I also have a cordial relationship with both parents and tired of being a mediator so I left them to fate. They seem happy with their arrangement. Now we are grown up, and she's almost finished with school but she's also getting older. They still stay married because they are used to each other, besides I don't think there's any other woman who would let my dad get away with the BS my dad does like my thick skinned mom. A loveless relationship where they are just flatmates and happy with themselves. Growing up like this has shaped my personality. I told myself that I will not make the same mistake of putting myself on hold for a man, or his children. That's why I'm career oriented. What if something similar happens to me in future. He loves me now, but people always change. What will the future bring?


When I met factormatt6, What shocked me was the fact that he's starting school again, but that will take some years to finish, then he also had to go for his master's and PhD, what if things don't work out as planned, does that mean I'll be feeding a man and being the breadwinner? That's emotionally exhausting. What if I end up being a surrogate mother to a grown ass man? I cannot wish that situation on my enemy. That's why I act cold to him. Op has a mommy complex and I told him to deal with it. He then asked if I could be like a big sister, that sent alarm bells to my head, and we argued about it

So I find myself fighting between my common sense and my heart. I am struggling to convince myself that I am making the right choice. This is in no way his fault.He seems to know this too. It makes me act in ways that makes him feel like I don't trust him. My cold, blunt, introverted and loner nature isn't helping either.

About the matter of an ultimatum, it wasn't really an ultimatum per se. I don't know. One of the first things, I told him was that I only deal with results. So, he needs to put his life in order. I was I won't mind waiting for him for only two years for him to structure his life so that we can both go to my parents and I will not be embarrassed to present him to them. We could then focus on our career and start childbearing when we are more stable. I know he wants to marry me, but I tell him we aren't ready yet. This causes me to put a lot of pressure on him.


I know he's trying and giving it his all, but it seems like I am fighting myself. The battle to not see other people, and keep my options open, he calls me constantly, and I call him at times too, but we can spend 2-3hrs on the phone, and it doesn't help that factormatt6 is a great conversationalist. At times, I just feel like I am not in the mood for conversation but don't want to put it across to him, so as not to hurt his feelings.

Also, Op can be very insecure, It was one of the things I have noticed about him so he can take somethings I say or do personally , he then starts to sulk, so I find myself watching myself so that I don't hurt his feelings . But I also feel like I am in a landmine with him sometimes. He's also an intense person and that scares me, I am more laid back. He can also be a monitoring spirit at times but it's cool.


Then to top it all off, is this terrible lockdown, we try to keep things afloat by chatting a lot. But I find myself feeling drained. I started the lockdown earlier than everyone else and staying at home,leaves me drained. I feel like I don't have the energy anymore to read, chat with him, or even go outside. I find myself feeling heavy. All efforts made by my sisters to make me leave the compound prove abortive. Here I am, unemployed when I am supposed to the working and gathering finances for our visions and I am stuck at home. I am even resenting my family members for taking it so well. My parents still go to work because they are in essential services but I feel useless and just want to be left to myself. I feel like a failure. I'm scared of failing. I'm scared of being poor, and I'm poor right now.

factormatt6 I'm sorry if I made you feel bad for asking for space. I love you. It's not your fault. I'll come round soon. I know the lockdown is affecting him too. I keep arguing with him to make new friends or talk to more people online. But it's hard to do so this lockdown. Guess I am being my paranoid, afraid and unreasonable self as usual. It's not your fault dear. I love you.

factormatt6:
. Sorry , I need to paint a picture of who I am. I need your honest opinion thanks

crackland:
As vain as this will seem, I'm usually right most of the time.

It just takes a longer route for certain people to get to a destination I already arrived at in my head hours/days before.

Nooil:
Continue your business and marry her. You can always go to school later. You may never find someone you will connect with like this in future.


Ps: Stop the I'm a prince, I'm a prince. We get it!

Nooil:
Continue your business and marry her. You can always go to school later. You may never find someone you will connect with like this in future.


Ps: Stop the I'm a prince, I'm a prince. We get it!

factormatt6:
. She is more than an asset but that why I am with her(has met better girl than her before who was ready to do anything for me). We naturally attract to each other. My heart relax any time I am with her.

factormatt6:
. You are right, I know I leave her my love life will never be the same but I really don't want to take advantage of her.

Nooil:
Continue your business and marry her. You can always go to school later. You may never find someone you will connect with like this in future.


Ps: Stop the I'm a prince, I'm a prince. We get it!

sassysure:
My poor mind had to overlook that before, that was why I wrote the first part was unnecessary

sassysure:
Good then
I'm beginning to like you.

Then, can u take it further by doing court marriage.
Non of your people will be in attendance. Just u and her and a witness.

Crackland, come and see your fellow man wey his heart dey beat around his woman
Not yours that is frozen

Repent and let love fill your soul and rejuvenate you : Refer that question to her. I am willing to give meaning to our relationship.
Love is a beautiful thing

factormatt6:
. I don't announced myself please, I just wanted to paint a mental picture of my background so that it wouldn't be that I am not stable. BTW Prince don't put food on the table, hard work and God blessing does.

Nooil:
As in! Well that's how most prince brag sha

factormatt6:
. We rejected the crown because of so many things that is involved. I am not one of them. Thanks for your advice

Nooil:
You were literally screaming you're a prince like a town crier.

sassysure:
Good then
I'm beginning to like you.

Then, can u take it further by doing court marriage.
Non of your people will be in attendance. Just u and her and a witness.

Crackland, come and see your fellow man wey his heart dey beat around his woman
Not yours that is frozen

Repent and let love fill your soul and rejuvenate you
Love is a beautiful thing

factormatt6:
I don't think it ultimatum, you know when there is no aim, abuse is inevitable. She doesn't want to joke with her youthful age. She is not desperate though.

sassysure:
Go away!
Mtcheeeeeeeeeew


Yeah, u are right most time logically.
Just that we are too sentimental and biased to see that.

When it comes to matters of the heart, we tend to use the heart instead of common sense and that's why we are hurt always.
Love is not blind anymore

sassysure:
I missed that part

Maybe, I need the food more than you

My submission is still the same for the guy.
As for u, (ishi òkpùkpù) , look for translator
Don't make your woman reach that position or better, go for a woman who can waste away 4 yrs or more without blinking and age is still on her side. Mid twenties.

Though, I will not outrightly tell you to do it today or tomorrow, I will look at your actions, if nothing, I go vamoose

@@op is the type that will disappear
His tone at the beginning summed him up. We still have court marriage.
I did mine with 15k or was it cheaper?
Have forgotten. So cheap. Two or 3 witnesses and court officials and viola, I have fulfilled all righteousness

factormatt6:
. We talk about kid. We intend waiting for the right time. We planning relocating to western country before raising kid. I don't if I am to continue buying and selling stuff or go into IT. I need an advice on this also.

crackland:
I've always been a lover, never a fighter...

Cam to ze oza room, lemme show you wharamean