Heres why ladies refuse to build with guys
.. Experience ✨

and i cant blame them for that,
because this my gender, men!!
They can ghost ehh!
Today you are dating, tomorrow is saturday you see trad on their friends status😎🥂 ..

but thats not to say ladies don't ghost too oo, one of my guys they ghosted during university, fell sick for 1 month, i mean he said theres nothing he didnt do for her, even that he was repeating a year is because of her, they dated for the whole time frame in school, same set, and towards finals she was bringing invitation card, ma guy fainted, when i talked to him, he was like nwa nkwo na zu, ngbe mmiri na ezo, je ulo ogwu ( the lady i backed inside rain to the hospital ) but you see this gist, i wil gist another day.

So ladies do too, and they usually do it to someone they think is unserious about marriage, whether they love the person or not, ( i dont know if they are usually under pressure from family or peers - but this will be another topic for another day )

while the guys ghost a lady they feel dont have all the requirements, but both of them are sneaky and using the same formula, no closure, just ghosting, i will understand if theres no closure for a toxic relationship, but a relationship that had no flaws, you just wake up one morning and jump out of the molue ( i.e assuming your relationship is the bus)
Why ?
I mean thats what c0wards do

Now back to the real question, why dont ladies build with guys again ..

See let me tell you dating anyone is a 50/50 percent chance, anyone can wake up the next day and break up, or worse you wake up and find out they are getting married or married with 6 kids or any other reason (for the men), or they have a hidden child or children from different men or any other reason ( for the women )

So now for the guys,

what's to say the guy will continue to marriage stage when he has money, that he wont dump you for his dream girl, and you have to start from scratch again ..
So i never blame any lady that says they wont build with a guy, their reason is valid, but ..

For the ones who choose to build with the guy, kudos to them, but ..

While you are at that please build yourself too .. i cannot vouch for any human being or any man, build yourself in the relationship too, learn skills, get certifications, as he is growing you are growing,

If he refuses, your growth !!

omo i give you the permission to leave him, that is a very bad boy .. a narcss!st to say the least .. because if that guy eventually gets money and gets someone else, you have your years of achievements to console you, you wont be starting out again with nothing ..

Now if you decide not to build with a man, like i said, you have good reasons too, but ..

While you wait for your prince charming, please build yourself also, you cant just be dancing on social media and saying all sorts about wanting a big man or saying things like if your boyfriend is not given you 500k monthly dump him, or if his account bal is not up to 50m dump him .. what audacity for someone that has no skills, i mean they say empty barrels do what 😅

So you think a big man will just gallivant and coman carry you like that so you can be doing tiktok in his parlour .. they too know what they are looking for, and if they carry u best bet theres only one thing they need from you at that point in time ..

So build yourself while you wait for prince charming, a way of encouraging him, that ..
"see ma guy nothing loss" i gat you
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And for the guys that want to know what to be doing in relationships that they are building, maybe the lady is not supporting you or is achieving more than you -- i.e you want to know what to do, i will cover that in another post,

Now another topic that is coming is -- when to dump a guy or a lady in a relationship, i will cover these together
..
You guys just follow up, give me your feedback, negative or positive, i need it to get better, at this point i drop my pen,
..
my brain wan burst ..

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If you will like to learn this or any other Tech skill ( Transition to tech ) --- let me know
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I am Wisegeek
a Serious Tech Guy in real life😎
---
i give you my honest perspective on every topic or trend
i dont do gender stuff ( new topic alert )
i say it as it is no sugarcoating
And i am very sarcastic too 🙂
...

This is a very balanced write up ...

I personally don't want a woman to "build" with me ... Let her use that "building materials" to build herself instead ...

Thanks i appreciate,

..

Fahvvy:
This is a very balanced write up ...

I personally don't want a woman to "build" with me ... Let her use that "building materials" to build herself instead ...

Fahvvy:
This is a very balanced write up ...

I personally don't want a woman to "build" with me ... Let her use that "building materials" to build herself instead ...

Thanks i appreciate,

thats what i am learning how to do now,

balance my write ups,

and be as sincere as possible with my take, and try to mirror the two sides of the perspectives, and this is also based on actually talking to guys and ladies to get their opinions .. then i find the middle ground on how both sides can work together, if any side is wrong or right i say it as it is without bias.

Thundafireseun:

Wassup

If you must build with a potential man, make sure no sexual intercourse between you guys

The whole point of being in a relationship is to know the mentality, ideology and character of the opposite sex and see if it matches what you are looking for, and also be open about what you want. But it seems everyone these days is in a relationship for their selfish reason with their own sinister motive behind it.

Op you're right on this, but some people will still disagree 👎 with you.

Lifeinlight:
If you must build with a potential man, make sure no sexual intercourse between you guys

As if he won't get it from someone else, or leave the moment she declined.
This can come as a surprise to see him choosing the one giving him regular sex over you building with him.



I learned from people's Relationship.This thing matter no concern me

Life is full of colorful fun for us to be deceiving ourselves.

Jeon:
Op you're right on this, but some people will still disagree 👎 with you.





As if he won't get it from someone else, or leave the moment she declined.
This can come as a surprise to see him choosing the one giving him regular sex over you building with him.



I learned from people's Relationship.This thing matter no concern me

Life is full of colorful fun for us to be deceiving ourselves.

i am talking to those that place so much VALUE on their body

BODY AUTONOMY

Lifeinlight:
i am talking to those that place so much VALUE on their body

BODY AUTONOMY

Lolz very funny.
How many people placed value on their body today?. Some pretend to be what they're not for just to get benefits.

A lady refusing to build with a guy is even subjecting the guy to an advantage position.

I hate statements like. "After all I did for him"


If she misbehave you can throw her out easily.

Jeon:


Lolz very funny.
How many people placed value on their body today?. Some pretend to be what they're not for just to get benefits.

My sis was a clear example. She got married as a virgin @24. There are people that still place so much value on their body. They may not be much though but they exist.

No too much cry of heart break or what have you

Nicepoker:
A lady refusing to build with a guy is even subjecting the guy to an advantage position.

I hate statements like. "After all I did for him"


If she misbehave you can throw her out easily.

Reason why some women dey show men like you pepper for abroad. No any iota of sense

I pity the unfortunate woman that'd end up with you.

Lifeinlight:
My sis was a clear example. She got married as a virgin @24.

Your sister didn't cover 98% of people [man or woman ] that decided to keep their body or be a faithful partner.

There are people that still place so much value on their body. They may not be much though but they exist.

Am I crying? I just dropped my own opinion just as you did. And no heart break cuz I don't do relationship,because of the negative results are higher than the positive ones. It is a dirty game.

No too much cry of heart break or what have you

Women only love men for what they can provide. Simple.

Wisegeek01:
Heres why ladies refuse to build with guys
.. Experience ✨

and i cant blame them for that,
because this my gender, men!!
They can ghost ehh!
...

boy speak for yourself

It's safer.

Most have nothing to support the guy with, due to economic situation and the Nigerian society.

Smh

And Their Mothers Endured With Their Poverty Stinking Father, in Some Cases Their Mother Survived The Whole Family .

Nwa nkwo n'azu jee ulogwu mgbe mmiri n'ezo got me.

You will only choose not to build with someone whom you don't Love.
But see ehn, if you Love someone you will choose to Biuld with them.

Though, by Experience na who F-up for relationship dey suffer am Laslas.

Build yourself let me build myself, so when you're made and can fend for yourself without selling pussy, then I can respect you. just that modern men are punks, have you ever seen a rich man from rich family go and a poor lady from a poor family (even if the gal like make she get the biggest breast and nyash or sugar coated pussy), the rich go for the rich, while the poor that God helped to stand up in life will see is Angela that he will die for (cus Angela get ukwu, same Angela wer no even get handwork). Build yourself so your man won't see you as a leech and have free will to kponse your eye every little argument, and you build yourself so the bitch won't say "after everything I've done for you" dumb talk, say you give me pussy be the everything you have done for me.
When both party are okay financially,you will see that dating/marriage is sweet.

ye

Because we're not Bob the builder

Lifeinlight:
Reason why some women dey show men like you pepper for abroad. No any iota of sense

I pity the unfortunate woman that'd end up with you.

Could be your sis. The part I said if she misbehaves you didn't see that. Did you?

1. Dating and marriage come with a lot of compromises men and women are unwilling to take.

The woman wants to enjoy the benefits of commitment without positioning herself for such. And also fails to understand that life is not always fair and rosy.

The men on the other hand can't be able to remain firm as a head, a leader, and an anchor when the storm rises.

Women break their vows out of emotional fragility. Men break their vows out of timidity.

2. In an ideal economy, an average man can take care of his wife and children. The reason married men go the extra mile is because they have followers - wives and kids who look up to them for protection and survival.

When conditions are ideal, he will stick to the end. Because that's his duty.

3. Now, it is women that decide if a relationship will hold or not.

Commitment is important to her. However, commitment from the man's end comes at a heavy cost.

Hence, the only time a man can decide on a divorce is when the woman is unwilling to change from her obscene ways. Initiating divorce ruins his investment over the years.

Compared to women, men will plead for the continuation of a relationship when it approaches the rock.

4. Women date/marry established men.

It has nothing to do with socio-cultural factors. It is simply biology. Women marry men better and higher than them.

Because the woman is weak compared to the man. The cost of pregnancy and nurturing of kids is expensive.

5. Building with a man from scratch is a gamble. It's not even a matter of heartbreak. That's the penultimate reason.

The ultimate reason:

She is sacrificing her fertility to build from scratch and if before marriageable age or menopause the said man hasn't been established, it means she lose the gamble.

The woman is consumed with a lot of contemplations:

What if he doesn't make it?
What if he lost his life along the way, and couldn't make it?
How long will it take for him to make it?

These are her major concerns.

Abandonment or heartbreak isn't as brutal as losing her time and fertility. At least with the former, she has a stake provided she's wise.

6. It takes a foresighted woman to wait and build with a man which is possible by weighing his dreams and ambitions and making good calculations that he will succeed despite the odds.

These are the category of women who feel much pain when the man maltreats or abandons them after he gains fame. However, these are not most men.

A man will always stay with that woman who followed and helped him through the long, narrow, and dark tunnel.

7. A woman not building with a man from scratch is a biological default. It takes self-awareness to wrestle with the default settings and stick with a broke man till he becomes established.

Men also need to understand this. It's not her fault.

8. That's why most men want to become established before entering a serious relationship. But they miss the whole point because, at the end of the day, they try to make a relationship work by spending and throwing cash.

9. A relationship is two (or more) people coming together to merge their forces, work together, and achieve a common goal.

The modern relationship these days is all about sex, parties, and alcohol.

Relationships rooted in superficiality. Two fools playing the fools game. No dream. No pursuit. No ambition.

10. People that engage in meaningful relationship, people who are aware of themselves and have strong ambitions aren't caught in this mess compared to their counterparts.

Thanks.

H