₦airaland Forum

iceybux:
What u believe in works for you... Not any man of God..we all man if God.. or is anyone a man of Satan??

Go and read Ephesians 4vs 1-16. You will see that Jesus himself appointed us prophets and pastors. Many big men You See today have where they hid their heads when things go tough. I understand that Nigeria prophets and pastors have messed up the show but we still have few surviving ones.

JeffreyD1:
I greet you all my reader

I will be open and truthful as I can

Please I'm not a good writer I wish I can send a voice note that's the only way I can explain the whole thing

Since this lock down I've been at home reflecting on my life journey so far there's nothing good to show for it, I've tried all my best to be a better some body for myself and my mom but it seems they tie my future put for kom kom, I'm the kind of guy that always advise everyone around me to be a better person
I'm a giver
I'm a good guy
I've never had police case before
No bad record
I always like everyone around me to be alright
All my male friends I always advise them on how to be successful and how to manage their money,
But in my own case it's always different I can't manage money
Money doesn't last with me and I don't invest
I don't smoke, I don't drink but I like women,
I hardly go a week without sleeping with a girl unless I don't have money and anytime I don't have money I will always respect myself
I remember very well a girl I met in D Dems in Okowonjo Lagos, I took her for a night after the job the next morning we talked, I advised her to leave the runs girl job and do something meaningful she adhered to it and today that lady is doing well in her business that assisted her in opening at idimu, I've done this to 2 other girls too and they're doing well, one married last December self she blocked me after I commented congrats on her fb post(maybe because she don't want to remember her old memories) I didn't bother her though I was happy I changed her though
But I'm finding it difficult to change myself, anytime I've money my mind always go to women, women, women nothing else, since this lock down I've been broke no money I can't believe I could stay up to 3 weeks without sleeping with a girl and I didn't die, I don't masturbate either.

My problem now is what can I do to stop my addiction to women

Why is it that I always change everyone around me life positively but my life is full of errors

I don't go to church due to personal experience I had in church since last year I've not been going to church but I do pray and I believe in God

I'm a very very hard working young man, but I've never made any meaningful thing with any money I worked for except sending money to my mom and my siblings

I started hustling since finished my primary 6 in 2006

Presently I'm not working I'm searching for work but I seriously need help on how to manage my life

A little background about me
I'm a 27 years old boy, I was born in a family of 7 my mom lost 3 of her kids we are just 4 boys now, I grew up in a family where my dad beat my mom like a kid, we grew up hating my dad until he died last year, because of my dad behavior my mom didn't allow us grow in our fathers house she sent us all out to go stay with people I left my mom at age of 10 that's when I started hustling I served an uncle for 9 years with story coming at the end of it


Lalasticala

You case is not a serious case to be bordered about

It's a simple case only if you are ready to adjust and take some advice

The only issue here is women and sex

Once you get HIV infection your head will correct but by then you would have done more harm than good

Get a girl friend and stop going to slaughter house

Keep her for the friendship and both of you can study your self if you are compatible for marriage

If you think she will make a good wife, then you ate good to go

Make your proposal know to her and keep to your promises

Make love to her as your wife to be not as you do with the hookers

Discuss your future with her and she will contribute to your planning

In as much as you have made up your mind over her

You will learn to concentrate on her and the relationship

Take a visit to her family so that they will know that you are the one dating her

Don't be scared about cost of marriage it will sort itself out

If she becomes pregnant, good look to both of you

The presence of a new born makes a man to be more responsible and organised that ever before

By the time you bear the cost of antenatal and baby items

You will reason home

When you guys have saved enough you perform her marriage rights

Chai. Everyone of us must surely have an addiction. See how you listed the fact that you don't drink, smoke but you womanize... God help you op

This is "Set Back" and there's only one Man you need to talk to in your quiet, and that's GOD Almighty.


Have you talk to God?

Who told you that God is a man?

Where did you read/hear that God is a man?

For saying it out alone,u have solved 50% of ur problem.


Just be determined and sit down in a quiet place to rewrite your story by stating how u want to live your new life.

The Do's and Don't...then I believe u will make a headway.

Dear op u passed a lot of tests and have a very good personality trait....
But u fall into d sin that destroys kings..
Drinking, smoking is not as dangerous as sexual promiscuity.

U can drink and smoke in moderation, but u can't be sexually promiscuous in moderation and unfortunately, it's only one girl/woman that is needed to barb ur hair.

There is though a way out...its not gonna be an easy road, but there is a way out.. Learn and practice self control... Give to the gospel and to the poor what u would have given to the girls...
Then pray... Once u learn to put God first by honoring God with both ur body and ur money...against all odds, u will shine again and this time better than before

Talk to your pastor and try to discipline yourself on woman thing

God bless you all for your kind advise and contribution

Since this lock down I've released that I can stay a month without sex and I won't die because I've stayed a month plus at home and again I'm broke too


I will try my possible best to discipline myself

From all the comments that's why I understand
.self dicisplne

NockMedia:
Two words: Get married

mumu , get married with what? somebody that is still struggling to survive u think say marriage na childs play? na so una go dey give useless advice . up and down

Why do you feel you need to save the damsel in distress every time? Discipline yourself.

Happyguy201:
mumu , get married with what? somebody that is still struggling to survive u think say marriage na childs play? na so una go dey give useless advice . up and down

LOL

You are not alone man. A lot of people face this problem. Sadly for you there is no rehabilitation center for your addciction. You have ti give it up on your own. From what you have said it semms like you had a very rough childhood and now you are taking it out on women. There is something that you lack but you do not know it. You lack something or you are copying someone. Different people have their own ways of dealing with strees amd apparently you decided to deal with your miserable life by making out with losts of women. You are a hustler and you do not want your life to suck so you look for a little happiness. We all know how satisfying sex can be and it helps you forget. It is your drug. Instead of abusing drugs you have decided to abuse sex. I do no think that you need to get over your addiction. I mean like does it even harm you. No it does not. You just need to learn how to spend little or no money on your women. On a religious view what you are doing is wrong but I am looking iut for your emotional well being. Do not change your lifestyle. At some point you will fall in love. Love is what you need in your life. Once you find that special someone, all those girls will not matter to you and you will be able to out your life back in order. Just look around you. I am sure that there is that oone girl that is really in to you. Go on a date with her. Get into a real relationship. You will be able to save your money while at the same time still getting what you need.

Dagelv:
You are not alone man. A lot of people face this problem. Sadly for you there is no rehabilitation center for your addciction. You have ti give it up on your own. From what you have said it semms like you had a very rough childhood and now you are taking it out on women. There is something that you lack but you do not know it. You lack something or you are copying someone. Different people have their own ways of dealing with strees amd apparently you decided to deal with your miserable life by making out with losts of women. You are a hustler and you do not want your life to suck so you look for a little happiness. We all know how satisfying sex can be and it helps you forget. It is your drug. Instead of abusing drugs you have decided to abuse sex. I do no think that you need to get over your addiction. I mean like does it even harm you. No it does not. You just need to learn how to spend little or no money on your women. On a religious view what you are doing is wrong but I am looking iut for your emotional well being. Do not change your lifestyle. At some point you will fall in love. Love is what you need in your life. Once you find that special someone, all those girls will not matter to you and you will be able to out your life back in order. Just look around you. I am sure that there is that oone girl that is really in to you. Go on a date with her. Get into a real relationship. You will be able to save your money while at the same time still getting what you need.

Thank you sir

JeffreyD1:
I greet you all my reader

I will be open and truthful as I can

Please I'm not a good writer I wish I can send a voice note that's the only way I can explain the whole thing

Since this lock down I've been at home reflecting on my life journey so far there's nothing good to show for it, I've tried all my best to be a better some body for myself and my mom but it seems they tie my future put for kom kom, I'm the kind of guy that always advise everyone around me to be a better person
I'm a giver
I'm a good guy
I've never had police case before
No bad record
I always like everyone around me to be alright
All my male friends I always advise them on how to be successful and how to manage their money,
But in my own case it's always different I can't manage money
Money doesn't last with me and I don't invest
I don't smoke, I don't drink but I like women,
I hardly go a week without sleeping with a girl unless I don't have money and anytime I don't have money I will always respect myself
I remember very well a girl I met in D Dems in Okowonjo Lagos, I took her for a night after the job the next morning we talked, I advised her to leave the runs girl job and do something meaningful she adhered to it and today that lady is doing well in her business that assisted her in opening at idimu, I've done this to 2 other girls too and they're doing well, one married last December self she blocked me after I commented congrats on her fb post(maybe because she don't want to remember her old memories) I didn't bother her though I was happy I changed her though
But I'm finding it difficult to change myself, anytime I've money my mind always go to women, women, women nothing else, since this lock down I've been broke no money I can't believe I could stay up to 3 weeks without sleeping with a girl and I didn't die, I don't masturbate either.

My problem now is what can I do to stop my addiction to women

Why is it that I always change everyone around me life positively but my life is full of errors

I don't go to church due to personal experience I had in church since last year I've not been going to church but I do pray and I believe in God

I'm a very very hard working young man, but I've never made any meaningful thing with any money I worked for except sending money to my mom and my siblings

I started hustling since finished my primary 6 in 2006

Presently I'm not working I'm searching for work but I seriously need help on how to manage my life

A little background about me
I'm a 27 years old boy, I was born in a family of 7 my mom lost 3 of her kids we are just 4 boys now, I grew up in a family where my dad beat my mom like a kid, we grew up hating my dad until he died last year, because of my dad behavior my mom didn't allow us grow in our fathers house she sent us all out to go stay with people I left my mom at age of 10 that's when I started hustling I served an uncle for 9 years with story coming at the end of it


Lalasticala

one way to attack addiction is to identify the source of addition, then reprogram ur mind with new friends of positive energies.

Lalasticala

pansophist:
The hallmark (amongst many) of a mature man is the ability to control his vice, his dark side, and limit its dangerous effect to a reasonable extent. You do not have to eliminate your vices, (because you can't) but you can control and chain-grip it that it doesn't destroy or negatively affect your life. For men, typical vices are philandering, gambling, aggression, greed, to name a few. Everyone has it, but few people can recognize, talk more about controlling it.

Firstly as a man, you should pursue a meaningful life. You should wake up every morning full of enthusiasm, to squeeze the best out of the day. Your purpose should burn like a furnace, that women will not be the main goal, but complimentary. If you wake up every day just working for money without a burning purpose, then you are doing it wrong. Money is a by-product of the goal, not the goal itself. Also, the rewarding thing is that if you assume your throne, you will actually not waste your money philandering, as women will find you attractive naturally. There is something particularly infectiously attractive about a man on a mission with confidence. Be that man. Also, a sure way to stop philandering is to actually find a woman that truly loves you, that you love as well, and to get such women, you should lead a purposeful life that is true to yourself. For it is better to be at the bottom of the mountain you want to climb, than at the zenith of the wrong mountain. Philandering also has negative effects, which are the inability to bond with one woman, seeing women purely as a means for your sexual gratification, messing-up your dopamine reward system that you can only be aroused and stimulated sexually with renewed partners, to name a few.

Most importantly, you should meticulously filter what goes into your mind. Your mind is like an engine, if you pour in the wrong fuel or oil, it won't work well until it finally knocks down. In practice, you should stop watching porn, mainstream music that shows mostly unclad women, and normalizes sex and hedonism. Stop clubbing (of course, I am not excluding having drinks at the bar with friends). You owe it to yourself to engage in activities that will enrich your soul, and not easily trigger situations that will make you lose control of handling your vices. Sometimes I do feel really bad for this our generation, we are the most distracted, confused, propagandized and brainwashed generation in all of human history. Your mobile phone even made it so easy to be part of the herd. Know this, and release yourself from it. It is not an easy journey, but with persistence, you will get there. If not, you will be a mindless consumer, bitter, and the proverbial avocado that appears soft and mushy outside, but hard and bitter inside, the very thing capitalistic society wants from you.

Words on marble! Only if the youths of this generation can put this to practice, we’ll have less cases of yahoo boys, runz girls (olosho) and criminals in this country.

May be late to this thread but this simple advice could help. Anytime you have money, pay yourself first. For example if you have like 50k, you can pay yourself 25k, 30k, whatever.

Put the money you have paid yourself in a separate account and don't ever touch it except you want to use it for an important stuff like an investment which will yeild you more money or will help you advance in life like a course or skill acquisition.

You can now use the rest of the money to do whatever you like such as feeding, sending money home, women etc