₦airaland Forum

budaatum:
Did she marry her son whom she can order to sit down there?

just an advice on what to do...

I'm kidding! I'm sure you mean cook him his favourite meal. Drink him a couple of odekus to wash it down. Put him in that see through lingerie you been saving for that romantic night that never seems to be happening. Then, gbam!

"Honey, why don't you love me no more?"

kai, that one is entrapment... dont mix sex with important issues, as this man will not focus on what she is trying to discuss.

Graxie:
Most people here won't advice you based on your pain, the only thing they will be hinging on is the cheating side. They can't believe it that a woman can have such urge especially since she is meant to be a Nigerian woman.

whether male or female, the above urge is WRONG, and no amount of pity (aka focusing on her pain) can make it "right".

Until we understand d concept of marriage DT is wen we can ve a peace of mind.. Marriage is made of UP and DOWN..wen it is down u try all means to bring it up BT if it doesn't work den u adjust urself to it and live move on..meanwhile in d other thread one was complaining of husband leaving 6am to 12pm on a regular routine while dis one complaining about loner..u can connect with her for possible swap..however..u can Neva please a woman..if u please dem,dem go still Bleep ham

there are two Major types of Power women use in marriage.
1. Manipulation power
2. convincible or persuasive power
only 20% of women can boast of being able to use persuasive power, and its time u use the no.2

If u are looking for how to make him open up to you, no one here can give you that answer. This is because I believe u didn't see him and jumped into marriage. U did at least 4 month courtship before marrying him..and during those period He may have hinted his likes and dislikes. U got the master key, use it and u will hear him singing like a bird.

This online /social media I guess is making some people lazy nowadays to think.. People just wanted others to think on their behalf..

sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.

Go and have extra marital affairs and become unfortunate in life. Nonsense without ingredients.

You sure say no be me be your husband? .. Anyway i can talk and play with people that i have become used to,, i can also go very loud on interesting topics like football you'd be shocked... At other times i just listen to music and smoke my w33d ...no time for petty talks that adds no value to me... This may just be the true nature of your husband..maybe he adjusted to get in a relationship and now its unfolding... Please no matter how you think you are just be yourself there's always someone out there that loves you the way you are putting up a front is "deceit" .. Also let us not make decisions while under influence or basking in any form of euphoria.. I am sorry i can't advise you.. You just have to figure the key to the treasure hidden inside that man..

holocron:
Dear OP,

what has happened is that your material circumstances relative to that of your spouse has changed, and thus the
Dynamics of the relationship has also changed since the initial period. As a female you have unknowingly changed from whomever he thought he knew, and he is presently recoiling in shock. He will eventually adjust himself to what he is experiencing and evolve his own peculiar response to your new and present self. His failure to get a grip on the situation and engage your new personality will see him continue the withdrawal and aloofness. And that means he has accepted the death of that relationship.

hey God

sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.

Discuss with him
Look for his area of interest, let discussion start from there

Having extra marital affair won't solve your problem

Graxie:
Most people here won't advice you based on your pain, the only thing they will be hinging on is the cheating side. They can't believe it that a woman can have such urge especially since she is meant to be a Nigerian woman. My advice to you is to speak to your husband, you know his best moment, let him know how you are feeling.
Don't nag, just be calm while passing your message. Moreover, the times are hard, are you sure he is not going through difficulty? You never can tell, just use your skill to make him open up. I wish you well sis.

I appreciate your advise and you won't believe it worked just yesterday. I will continue the effort

Oops! your husband is a thinker. As such he may not appreciate:

1. Things that does not interest him, find out what he values, like hobby those things maybe meaningless to you but to him it means a lot. Encourage him to talk about what he likes

2. He an introvert. Such people need time alone to regroup

3. He needs to trust you, that means whatever he tells you stay within you both. You need to assure him that his secrets are safe with you. Make sure your are not a gossiper if not he'll never trust you with vital personal information. I.e if he doesn't like telling people when he's traveling you make sure you don't reveal that information to any one

4. Encourage him to talk about non-personal stuff first.

5. Try and listen to what he complains about, because they are people that I'm sure your husband is very free with. What Are those people doing differently?

6. If you have not please try and read the "five love languages" and "why you act the way you do".
7. Suggest things to him, instead of telling him what to do, that way he feels his in charge and not been control/manipulated by you.

8. The worst idea you can have is to think you can change him. Communication is key and for you to communicate effectively see point no 6 again.

Apparently everyone have missed your point, appears your husband is an introvert serious introvert

sweetyinks:
I appreciate your advise and you won't believe it worked just yesterday. I will continue the effort

You are welcome.

sweetyinks:
Hello Nairalanders,
Can anyone most especially the male advise me on how to make my husband open up. He does not play,joke or talk at home and which is not his usual characteristic from beginning of our marriage.
I am fed up of his characteristics and i wish I had an extra marital affair but my faith and conscience won't just let me.
Kindly advise me on how to make him talk.

What did u do to him? Hope ur not the nagging type?

Madam, the only person that can tell you what the problem really is na your husband o.

What is marriage when couples cannot interract freely? Communication is the lifeblood of marriage and when its lacking, it's good as dead. Everyone will end up being miserable including the children and the cycle continues. Talk to your husband and don't be afraid of discoveries. It could be serious and it could be very petty but better now than later. Marriage is only worth it when parties are both willing and happy.