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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad (90654 Views)
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My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Needtolove: 2:18pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Hi nairalanders this post is going to be quite disorganized, as I am not such a good writer. Just need an avenue to let our some steam. No advise needed too. The only way forward for me is to quit my marriage. The reason for this write up is to ease the pain of betrayal that comes from my husband cheating on me with a our neighbor,what really hurts is that after I investigated and found out her identity, I presented him with hard evidence ,instead of an apology he said he is an African man o and polygamy is allowed. He says I should better mind my business as the said girl is not disturbing me. He further stated that the girl is crazy o, so I should not even think of confronting her Just this morning she had the nerve to come to my apartment with her room mate to clarify some house issues. The nerve of all of them. Really want to make them pay. Really want to make my husband suffer. This guy body shames me at any chance he gets. (I have a four month old baby) he says am ugly and shapless, and my breast are flat I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. When I react violently he calls me mad woman. He is still with her and I am still expected to mind my business. I will though, but they will both get it. 425 Likes 42 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by czarina(f): 2:26pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
It is well. Let's wait for the others 95 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by dawnomike(m): 2:29pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Pleaser be calm for now...Thank God You have a baby to care for. I can imagine how you must be freling right now after such betrayal and lack of respect for you. Iz well pls be calm 137 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 2:43pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Dear woman, I can imagine the emotional and psychological pain you're going thru, however, making a decision right now might not be wise cause it will be an emotional one. Just keep praying for him and ask God for strength to overcome. It is only when there's a crack in the wall that a lizard can enter. Start working out the little way you can, start dressing really nice, so nice you'll get compliments outside. It will improve your self esteem, wear make up, smell nice. It might not stop him from cheating but it will build up your self esteem and confidence so much that you'll see you're not the problem. You'll be in a better place to decide if you want to stay with him or leave. All the best. I hope you have a job or a business sha? Cause the best security a woman can have is her own money. 818 Likes 69 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 2:44pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Pack your bags and leave while you can.. I hope you're not one of those full time house wife, if yes find your way if na to go to your folks. Staying married is not a joke, it is either you're in or out.. Who doesn't feel tempted to go out there and have fun, fornicate and live free with nobody breathing down your neck. You can't be hurting and abusing your wife, even with her present state. Don't get married if you can't be loyal! 326 Likes 28 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by JoannaSedley(f): 2:50pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
kennygee:WHAT IS THIS FOR CHRIST SAKE She should pray for him to do what exactly? To continue hurting her by being an African man? Pray for him for hurting and body shaming the mother of his kids? It is her fault that her husband is a community penis This advise is beyond unbelievable. Op, you are hurting deeply so get out of that house before they kill you or you kill them. That horseband of yours will open the door of your house for his concubines to kill or maim you when you least expect it. Be careful. 416 Likes 36 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Acidosis(m): 2:59pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
To be honest, I do not think it is so hard to identify a potential or "would-be" cheat during courtship. Your husband did not cheat because of your appearance, what you said, did or how you behave. Your husband cheated on you because he's simply a cheat, a child of darkness who masqueraded as a saint, and pretended to be of good intention. He failed in the sense of pretence, and you failed in the sense that, for some reasons best known to you, you couldn't discover that part of him. You have two options; Quit and count your losses OR stay put in the hope that he would someday change. Asides from these two, there's nothing else you can do. 240 Likes 16 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by ifyalways(f): 3:00pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
^^Pray for his dyke to become unresponsive at the sight of any other puuuu.... @OP, gather yourself together. Try. You have a four months old child who needs you so pull yourself together. Imagine you dying and your child at the mercy of that lady as the step mom. Horrible right? Then put yourself together for your child. It's difficult but doable. Stay calm and think. Your husband has shown u his cards, what's yours? Nobody is worth spilling blood for though. Or getting your hands dirty unnecessary so stay calm and think things through .be selfish. Think and plan for yourself and child. Don't act on any impulse now. Don't rush on decision now. Stay calm and think plan A,B, C. To stay or leave? That's solely your decision but take your time. Please dont waste your time praying for him, pray or yourself and child instead if you must pray. Don't apologise or go beg for anything either. You didnt do no wrong. 120 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by SageMK: 3:00pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Sorry you have to go through this but I am glad you've made up your mind to divorce him. Life is just too short. Anyway, allow me to correct a misconception you have. I want African men to know that women have feelings too, am expected to bottle up my pain and be a woman. African men aren't what your husband painted us out to be. The fact that he's a scumbag and he lacks decency have nothing to do with his race or the colour of his skin. He knows you've feelings. He just doesn't care at all. So call out your husband for his crimes but do not bash us along. If only you scrutinized him well before marriage... 197 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Oblongata: 3:05pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
It is well with you my sister! At the earliest stage of marriage, many men make a lot of mistakes. I like to believe they suddenly don't want to get tied down and crave freedom. It's not like they were not prepared for marriage, or their behavior is anyway your fault, I like to believe they are exercising their seemingly seeping away 'youthful exuberances', some come at a far price (lifetime regrets ), others are lucky. This is however, no excuse to treat or be treated bad. I am ashamed to say i was like that in my early marriage, i disrespected my wife, and I took alcohol and womanized a lot! I am quite fortunate I am part of the few that fortunately didn't lose out a lot, as I quickly found myself back on track and ensured i made up for all my wrong by tirelessly making my wife happy tiLL the end of time... No stds, no outside pregnancies, just financial mishaps, ain't i lucky? Your husband might come around, and he might not...nobody promised us life would be rosy. But always stay true to yourself and seek happiness, no matter what it would cost you. Please go seek the advice of a pastor. . . Many of them have wise counsels. . . Please you can try 'Grace Point' church at Bodija (Ibadan) very good church for marriage counseling. Or any other church that you know Shalom 120 Likes 8 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by ibkayee(f): 3:19pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Don’t waste any useless prayer on him. Cheating is one thing, his lack of remorse and arrogance has sealed the deal. He has also given the girl he cheated with wings to address you anyhow. I’d pack out if I were you personally and get a divorce. But then again, I’m not privy to your financial situation and don’t know if you’d have the means to make such drastic decisions, especially with a 4 month old baby. It’s up to you, you’re better positioned to make the most practical decision since you’re the one in the situation. Are you a full time housewife? Do you have your own money? I’m reluctant to advise you seek the help of your family because we know how that usually goes for a woman. But if you have understanding family members that you can stay with, go to them for the time being if you want to be in a different environment and can’t afford to do so alone. Most important thing is to 88 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Automatic3444(m): 3:29pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
ibkayee: Wow you sound so brave. Relationship and marriage is the most difficult. It got to do with our feelings, emotion, trust and so on. We as human address issue base on our understanding.. something the Truth we set you free and sometimes it doesn't, life itself is beyond human understand. 9 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by sisisioge: 4:30pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
4ks! He did that! 4kssss! Blowdyfellow! What do you want to do without getting in trouble? Chai! Can you arrange to travel out of the country while liquidating all his assets while at it? As in, you will sell his properties at ridiculous rates, spoil all the unsellable, send a picture of him and the girl to his work place, then call his family to tell them on your way out. Remember not to tell him where u are going o. Pele...pull yourself together though. Do not let them see your anger. 25 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by nonen(m): 5:06pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
It’s quiet a difficult situation for you. I understand how you feel too. However, just nurse your baby carefully. I think by the time the baby is 1 year, you should have figured out a way out of your dilemma. Don’t forget there’s karma for him lurking around. Karma will take care of him for you. But your husband no try at all. 18 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 5:24pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Needtolove: How do you people even Marry Men like this? The Man you married is Useless, please forgive my french. You cannot simply tell me you never noticed this Callousness during your courting days, there is a big difference between cheating & disrespect. Even if he wants to cheat, why a close neighbor? There are other ways to do that. A this point, you have no other choice than to move out. 77 Likes 7 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 5:26pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Acidosis: @Acidosis Sorry bro, I didn't read your comment clearly. I was high on sleep as F. 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Mznaett: 5:28pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
You don't advise a woman who's going through so much pains in her marriage to pray . If you do, you are not different from the "man" who put her in such a messy situation. @op If I were you, the moment I find out my partner is cheating on me, I'm out. There's no point questioning his action. 56 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Acidosis(m): 5:35pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
truthsayer009: We are on the same page. 31 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Esthered: 5:40pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
truthsayer009: I think you quoted Acidosis wrongly. Reread his post. 19 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Octopusssy(f): 6:23pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
What would I tell my sister if she were in your shoes? "Sister, don't ever allow yourself to be disrespected by anybody." Be wise. 44 Likes 5 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 7:02pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Needtolove: Just remember those lovely traits that attracted you to him in the beginning and quit dwelling on the negatives ;-) 6 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by czarina(f): 7:08pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Penisinpenisout:Wow! Well-done 13 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 7:13pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
czarina: Thanks. 1 Like |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by ibkayee(f): 7:21pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
czarina: Penisinpenisout: 38 Likes 2 Shares
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Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Jentle244: 7:51pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Needtolove: I feel ur pain really First of all what I would say is this: He body shames u at any given opportunity. I would say say u work on ur body, do some exercise, avoid fatty foods, watch your diet. and be discipled about it. I guess ur husband married u a slim lady? go back to that ur former shape. If u ask me I don't like women who are fat unnecessarily. thruth be told. So work on ur weight and body size. Secondly, are u a spiritual woman? A woman who kneels before God will stand before men. I use to know an aunt whose husband cheats on her. Every time she complains to my mum until my mum told her what to do. She prayed a prayer that no man who cheats on his wife to pray "O Lord my his penis never stand if he meets a strange woman" an it worked like fire cause God has said whatever God has joined together let no man put asunder, that girl is trying to put asunder(divide) in your marriage. So what am trying to say is that u must be a prayer woman if u want a peaceful home. Thirdly, Know how to cook, especially his favorite. it is said that the way to a man's heart is through the stomach which invariably means food, good food as at that. if u don't know learn from ur friends. Fourthly, Be romantic, my sister know how to dob it in bed, like the above saying, another way to a Man's heart is through sex. This is the 21st century where the internet is at our finger tips. learn how to seduce him, learn how to u know moan, wriggle your body etc. Am not saying u should watch porn. And Lastly, Be supportive: supportive in the sense that u are supportive emotionally, money wise and prayer wise. In terms of money if u don't have something doing, men tend to get irritated especially when he has a girl outside. Learn a handwork such as decoration, pastry, confectioneries, catering etc The ball is in your Court I rest my case 38 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 7:58pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Jentle244: I know you are typing from a good place But, is this what you would tell your daughter or sister or cousin should they, “God forbid”, find themselves in a situation like this? Answer this honestly Then come and modify this post accordingly Cheers 93 Likes 4 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by cococandy(f): 8:00pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
You do need to leave but like others have said, no rash decisions for now. Also stop having sex with him please. Yes he will become more brazen and even blame you for his future misbehavior because you denied him sex. But HIV isn’t your friend. That girl is probably collecting some extra Ds on the side and those Ds probably isn’t faithful to only her as well. You get the picture. When you do leave, make sure you hit him where it hurts most. Be it financial or otherwise, you know him better than we do. And that’s not just for the cheating (that’s forgivable in some cases) but for his blatant cocky unrepentance. 64 Likes 2 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 8:04pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Needtolove:random excuses. I will advise you to work on yourself,be the best you can be and if possible of great shape too.look pretty. Do you make money?if so,spoil yourself and act like he doesn't matter. With time if you were good to him,he will come back crawling on his knees. 8 Likes |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 8:05pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Jentle244: WTF BRO! She just gave birth 4 months ago, is she going to do surgery to recover her body ni? You pipu are not even serious. A woman is complaining that her husband no longer regards her & you are saying she should pray. Cheating is certainly different from disregard. Jentle244: I don't even believe in this type of prayers, you want to make him Impotent because of your prayer? The problem is not the potency, this man is just disrespectful to his wife. Chikena! Whether your prick is working or not, what is the point of body shaming your wife? Jentle244: Chaiii, Man that is already cheating & showing you he his cheating. This would not even work. Jentle244: This is your only advise that makes sense, Others is just Lawma! 45 Likes 3 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Seun(m): 8:06pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
nwanneni:This goes beyond looking pretty. She is at risk of contracting STDs from this woman. I think they need to go for professional counselling asap. 30 Likes 6 Shares |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by Nobody: 8:09pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
Seun:You missed where I said she should act like he doesn't exist. I meant it all the way!till he comes back to realise family is more important. I'm not ruling out professional help too. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: My Husband Is Cheating On Me With Our Neighbor! Hurting Real Bad by AngelicBeing: 8:09pm On Jun 04, 2019 |
nwanneni:Lol at do you make money, bia chube Ego 3 Likes |
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