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How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... - Family (2) - Nairaland

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How Can I Deal With A Quarrelsome Wife / How Do I Deal With An Emotionally Cheating Husband / How Do I Deal With This Issues Between My Wife And I? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Nobody: 2:29pm On May 11, 2020
I suspect she's from the baracks and if so,im sorry there's nothing you can do about it.Lol
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by kazyhm(m): 2:51pm On May 11, 2020
Shelumiel:
Bro, its quite obvious your wife lacks ambition hence her need for gossip. My advice is this : discuss this with your spiritual leader ; let him counsel her and if she does not change, bring the issue before her parents.

Spiritual leader ko, ghost leader ni
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Ishilove: 3:15pm On May 11, 2020
Kingarthur21:
@charles009

I suppose I am allowed to mention you.

That's the issue with marrying whose personality doesn't match yours. That's a typical female behaviour ,its normal. Small talks,busy bodies,gossiping,malice ,that's a natural thing for women.
You can curb it by:
1) making a fence or something to separate your house from others
2)if you can't afford the above you can get her lots of books (self development, motivational etc) and movies to read and watch.
3)set projects and goals both of you can achieve together to distract her.
4)introduce her to a female friend of yours with worthy character and who commands respect. Encourage her to visit her and invite her over.
Excuse you?!? angry

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Ishilove: 3:18pm On May 11, 2020
Op, you married a gragarious gossip. The only thing that will change her is a scandal involving her good name.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Kingarthur21: 3:26pm On May 11, 2020
Ishilove:

Excuse you?!? angry
bite my tongue!

Men aren't spared their own vices,a typical man has a fiery temper,ego and can be a sexual predator...

Satisfied?
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by frozen70(f): 3:26pm On May 11, 2020
charles009:

Hello folks, I have to put this here, cos I feel I have had enough. Please nobody should quote me cos I intend taking this post down afterwards.

I have issues dealing with a very weak wife(27), mostly where her friends and neighbours are. Since I married her 4 years ago I have allowed her handle things her way and its always from one issue to another. Always disturbing me with irrelevant gossips that wouldn't put food on my table. I paid heavily for a fashion designer school, still same issue of madam versus students bullshit. In feb I asked her to stop, so I can have peace, thanks to covid 19. When I decided I have had enough, I told her I wouldn't want to see anybody in my house going forward, since they have turned my house to a gossip zone whenever I am away at work. Once, she hears peoples voice, she opens my door and starts hailing people who its obvious are unhappy with my decision, they even teamed against her. I see her actions as plain weakness.

I have tried dialogue, yet no improvement. So I decided to go very hard on her. I told her that anytime I see her with those click of friends, I would not hesitate to embarrass her outside. This morning, she had gone to get mop then begins the regular gist, I had to immediately shout her to go inside.

Its obvious that my mode of life contradicts her way of life, I have decided to bend a little bit to accomodate her. Once I drive out, kapish my house becomes a meeting ground, all sorts of gossips in the estate are disclosed.

Am I going too hard on her or is there any better way to handle this.

Please DONT QUOTE ME..

Sorry about that attitude of her

Pls if you have the money, enroll her into schooling let her do partrime studies and she will mix up with more civilised people

It will help model her

She is in the mix of women that has nothing doing than to gossip at ever thing that passes their eyes

She is doing all these because she is idle

1 Like

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by frozen70(f): 3:31pm On May 11, 2020
Ybaby:


Find her a job 2 hours away from home. She is a reflection of your choice so manage the situation. You wanted someone you can control. You have it!

You are very funny

You see when they want women that must be under their control without challenges, they don't know that it comes with a price tag

1 Like

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by frozen70(f): 3:32pm On May 11, 2020
Graxie:
I pity your wife, nwanyi ibem ndoo.

O nutara onye oga achi, so nwayi were asiri melu olu

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by frozen70(f): 3:35pm On May 11, 2020
Mariangeles:


Let us call a spade a spade biko
Who can stand such behaviour? Be it male or female?

Asiri ajoka! O na ebute nsogbu n'ogbaghara n'ezi n'ulo
Onwere onye ga kpa agwa oma, ha si na omere njo?
Ihe karia a too ya aka!

Onye ona ekwu makaya, O di gi ka ojere akwukwo mahadum

O choro onukwu oga achi

Ya na ya mebe

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by LadySarah: 3:35pm On May 11, 2020
Ybaby:


She will corrupt NL with gossip. Biko keep her away.

Abioo
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Mariangeles(f): 3:46pm On May 11, 2020
frozen70:


Onye ona ekwu makaya, O di gi ka ojere akwukwo mahadum

O choro onukwu oga achi

Ya na ya mebe

grin

The truth is, a bad behaviour has nothing to do with one's educational background...at least to a certain level

"Ezi agba bu mma nwanyi" I agree with that saying.
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by frozen70(f): 3:49pm On May 11, 2020
Mariangeles:


grin

The truth is, a bad behaviour has nothing to do with one's educational background...at least to a certain level

"Ezi agba bu mma nwanyi" I agree with that saying.

I still believe going through the four walls of the university still has an impact in a person's life

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Mariangeles(f): 3:53pm On May 11, 2020
frozen70:


I still believe going through the four walls of the university still has an impact in a person's life

Absolutely!
Still, that is not an excuse for bad behaviour of someone who did not have to opportunity to go to the university.
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by frozen70(f): 3:54pm On May 11, 2020
Mariangeles:


Absolutely!
Still, that is not an excuse for bad behaviour of someone who did not have to opportunity to go to the university.

That's why she has to go now, let's see if she won't change
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Shelumiel: 3:57pm On May 11, 2020
[[s]
kazyhm:


Spiritual leader ko, ghost leader ni
[/s] Rubbish as usual
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by tabithababy(f): 4:06pm On May 11, 2020
Ybaby:


She will corrupt NL with gossip. Biko keep her away.
.
cheesy
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by kazyhm(m): 5:00pm On May 11, 2020
Shelumiel:
[[s][/s] Rubbish as usual

As usually nonsensical
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by charles009(m): 5:14pm On May 11, 2020
Mariangeles:


Absolutely!
Still, that is not an excuse for bad behaviour of someone who did not have to opportunity to go to the university.

Nothing to do with education, she is running her Msc programme.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Mariangeles(f): 5:28pm On May 11, 2020
charles009:


Nothing to do with education, she is running her Msc programme.

It has to do mostly with how she was brought up.

Cc: frozen70
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by TheeDetective: 5:45pm On May 11, 2020
@Op; if your wife has a job or business she runs, she won't have time for gossip. As a few have mentioned here already, go and get her either a job or a business that she will be interested in and happy to run. Note, not the business you impose on her to run but the one that she comes up with by herself so that her interest in the business will continue. It appears the fashion school you put her in, might not have been her interest (I may be wrong) as that is how it seems and that might have been one of the reason why it didn't work out for her.

When she is busy doing other things that earns her money, she won't have time for gossiping nor becoming the chairlady of gossipers in the neighbourhood which have upset you; hence. your opening this thread for advice.

Shouting at her will not change matters. If she is strong-headed, na you go tire for the shout as she go make you shout. Besides she is a grown adult hence shouting at her to me is disrespectful and that perhaps may create low self-esteem in her which I am sure you wouldn't want that to happen.
charles009:

Hello folks, I have to put this here, cos I feel I have had enough. Please nobody should quote me cos I intend taking this post down afterwards.

I have issues dealing with a very weak wife(27), mostly where her friends and neighbours are. Since I married her 4 years ago I have allowed her handle things her way and its always from one issue to another. Always disturbing me with irrelevant gossips that wouldn't put food on my table. I paid heavily for a fashion designer school, still same issue of madam versus students bullshit. In feb I asked her to stop, so I can have peace, thanks to covid 19. When I decided I have had enough, I told her I wouldn't want to see anybody in my house going forward, since they have turned my house to a gossip zone whenever I am away at work. Once, she hears peoples voice, she opens my door and starts hailing people who its obvious are unhappy with my decision, they even teamed against her. I see her actions as plain weakness.

I have tried dialogue, yet no improvement. So I decided to go very hard on her. I told her that anytime I see her with those click of friends, I would not hesitate to embarrass her outside. This morning, she had gone to get mop then begins the regular gist, I had to immediately shout her to go inside.

Its obvious that my mode of life contradicts her way of life, I have decided to bend a little bit to accomodate her. Once I drive out, kapish my house becomes a meeting ground, all sorts of gossips in the estate are disclosed.

Am I going too hard on her or is there any better way to handle this.

Please DONT QUOTE ME..

1 Like

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Graxie(f): 6:09pm On May 11, 2020
frozen70:


O nutara onye oga achi, so nwayi were asiri melu olu
iji ya nyanyi oma.
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Graxie(f): 6:13pm On May 11, 2020
charles009:


Nothing to do with education, she is running her Msc programme.
Abia!!!
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by chillex8(m): 6:24pm On May 11, 2020
Bozzyironlady:
A SIMPLE DON'T QUOTE ME, YET SOME DUMBASS WON'T LISTEN
Some have eyes but can’t see cheesy
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by ednut1(m): 6:29pm On May 11, 2020
U did not date or what
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by bigl: 7:07pm On May 11, 2020
charles009:

Hello folks, I have to put this here, cos I feel I have had enough. Please nobody should quote me cos I intend taking this post down afterwards.

I have issues dealing with a very weak wife(27), mostly where her friends and neighbours are. Since I married her 4 years ago I have allowed her handle things her way and its always from one issue to another. Always disturbing me with irrelevant gossips that wouldn't put food on my table. I paid heavily for a fashion designer school, still same issue of madam versus students bullshit. In feb I asked her to stop, so I can have peace, thanks to covid 19. When I decided I have had enough, I told her I wouldn't want to see anybody in my house going forward, since they have turned my house to a gossip zone whenever I am away at work. Once, she hears peoples voice, she opens my door and starts hailing people who its obvious are unhappy with my decision, they even teamed against her. I see her actions as plain weakness.

I have tried dialogue, yet no improvement. So I decided to go very hard on her. I told her that anytime I see her with those click of friends, I would not hesitate to embarrass her outside. This morning, she had gone to get mop then begins the regular gist, I had to immediately shout her to go inside.

Its obvious that my mode of life contradicts her way of life, I have decided to bend a little bit to accomodate her. Once I drive out, kapish my house becomes a meeting ground, all sorts of gossips in the estate are disclosed.

Am I going too hard on her or is there any better way to handle this.

Please DONT QUOTE ME..

I think you should have known the person you were getting married to in the first place!

And now that you had married her, you should have considered the fact that you don't want her gisting up and down and rented a flat.

Above all, the same way you were able to woo her, use same technique to talk to her about this issue.

Women generally are fond of this "gisting" stuffs ... except u married a nerd who would prefer to be in all day long.

Just go with the flow. Going hard or soft sometimes don't produce the effect u want unless your message is well understood
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Saintmary(f): 7:26pm On May 11, 2020
Oga married a woman without ambition, now he's complaining.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by PrimadonnaO(f): 7:51pm On May 11, 2020
Heh!

You married the typical compound gossip! cheesy cheesy I can imagine that while growing up she, and her mother, perhaps, were the type who were nosy about their neighbors’ affairs, and would always go around spreading exaggerated gists about them!

Beyond the fact that she’s a gossip, she obviously lacks ambition, and class, because I mean, all that house gathering nonsense! Who still does that!

Shouting at her now and again won’t fix nada! You need to explain to her how demeaning her behaviour is... how it makes her look like an illiterate, how she’s embarrassing you and herself... how she’s opening up your family to possible future ridicules.
Plus I agree that she needs a good role model. Someone who’ll challenge her to be better, because no matter your good intent, if she isn’t self-motivated, they’ll all amount to nothing .
You married her at 23... a young girl with a housewife mentality. She needs to build up her character. It’s nit too late. She’s just 27.

@Charles009

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by frozen70(f): 7:53pm On May 11, 2020
Graxie:
iji ya nyanyi oma.

Lol
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by silibaba: 7:54pm On May 11, 2020
Lizzyangel:
you can't change people...but environment attimes changes people a lot.....my piece of advice,

1....kindly relocate to a more isolated area...e.g and estate or new site where people are lesser in the compound and area and ensure your neighbors are all working.


2....After relocating...try to get a job or shop for her...or you buy her a laptop where you'll ask her to type 50pages per day before you come back from work that its a piece you'd be using at work.


3....Introduce her to Nairaland....she will get tired of their gist and will always want to check the latest news and also learn some things about life on Family section.


only God above knows your plan. so that you will be sending her DM right?

I won't say a word.

op, better be careful with this guy ooo
Trying to change her won't work out soon.
Best of lucks Sir.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by akinade28(f): 8:00pm On May 11, 2020
Charles009
You married an extrovert most likely a sanguine. They enjoy talking. They relieve themselves from worries and stress by talking about themselves or other people. Introverts think before they talk, extrovert say whatever comes to their mind, then later think about.
That simply who she is and there's nothing can do about it. You can only help focus her energy on a different and purposeful direction. If you don't listen to her and stop her from talking to others that listen to her, you will get yourself a bitter and an angry woman.
You can encourage her to pursue career that involves her talking such as teaching, lecturering, journalism or radio or tv presenter, public speaking. They make excellent motivational speakers
Encourage her to join productive group that go about talking to other people like NGOs
Then take time to listen to her and correct her when she's saying the wrong things, if you do this she would take less time gossiping with other people and discussing the wrong things.
How would you feel if you come home one day and you meet your wife encouraging other people, other teach them to be better women, better wives, better mothers. I'm very sure you will be proud of her
The issue is not about gossiping or talking, it is saying the right things or the wrong things.

5 Likes

Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by Keketu(m): 8:08pm On May 11, 2020
Lizzyangel:
you can't change people...but environment attimes changes people a lot.....my piece of advice,

1....kindly relocate to a more isolated area...e.g and estate or new site where people are lesser in the compound and area and ensure your neighbors are all working.


2....After relocating...try to get a job or sh uiop for her...or you buy her a laptop where you'll ask her to type 50pages per day before you come back from work that its a piece you'd be using at work.


3....Introduce her to Nairaland....she will get tired of their gist and will always want to check the latest news and also learn some things about life on Family section.



Trying to change her won't work out soon.
Best of lucks Sir.
hi, good morning please pm me Thank ms
Re: How Do I Deal With A Weak Wife... by frozen70(f): 8:10pm On May 11, 2020
Mariangeles:


It has to do mostly with how she was brought up.

Cc: frozen70

Ohhhh
Her case tire me

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