₦airaland Forum

uncleFola:
Madam,... I have read through your post and you have every right to suspect your husband cuz he might probably be into scam...... but then, u really need to take a chill and take your time to observe him to the point of no escape, (that is if he’s really into scam or whatever) while doing that, be very sure you didn’t do anything to destroy your marriage ..... the best way to catch a monkey is to act like one..... One thing I know for sure is that , he cannot hide forever..... but don’t act hastily to make things get worse, someone that is capable of breaking door, can unapologetically break you o...

Might??! Lol...

Enyi go and get busy and allow your husband to do what he is supposed to do. Why did you bring this up here. Have you talked to the right persons F7ck you for being an idi0t

Don't confront him again without evidence. He may be into dirty business or have another family outside. Give him time and study him very well. Just ignore him now and do like nothing happen. Don't break your home.

See how everyone is answering with a well cultured manner because she's from North America

Assuming OP was from a place like Odeda in Abeokuta... They would have said she has insecurity issues

Well.. if you don't trust him, divorce him. simple!

Which kin nonsense be dis? yes, every Nigerian man or black man are ussually dodgy including me, i ve always said to my partner you may think i am dodgy but as long as i have never got her into any troubles what's the big problem? If you don't like it or cannot handle it tell me, i find someone else.

Pesin marry you, you no happy? who da hell gets married nowadays anyway?

Abagworo:
Na guyman you marry but he loves you

This is the best quote.

If you love him, avoid check his mails and phone to get the best of him

You want us to tell you he is into yahoo yahoo so that you will get his ass deported or imprisoned? I will not do that anyway. If you dont feel okay about his behaviour tell him to excuse you and stop forming CIA special agent. The way you say he loves your mum am suspecting your family is milking him and where do you think he gets the money to give you and your family treats?

I have a bad feeling about this, if that man can break down that door to keep his secret, he could harm you, if he considers you too much a problem, you better play dumb until you know what you're up against, be careful and tell someone you can trust.

I will simply advice you to stop checking your husband's phone unnecessarily if you want to enjoin your marriage

You sef ,stay yourself ,leave him

TheArchangel:
@mstick, sorry for your loss.
With this lock down, losing oneself online seems the easiest way to ease grief. I lost myself here and other social platforms, when I lost something or someone. Better to have the empathy of faceless forum than the sympathy of fake friends.

You will always have the mannerless trolls that will try so hard to rub salt on your wound, they are miserable embittered piece of sh!ts.
Do not let it get to you.

Haba

your husband has probably seen this on frontpage because most Nigerians come here but let's hope he's not a regular visitor of this forum ,
here is a clue, tell him you know the drill .
tell him you know what's up that he should involve you in his racket , he will spill the bean and then you can take your decision.
criminals prefer women who support them in their line of trade.
next time he panic around you, just tell him there is no reason to bother and you are in it together , and you can dump his ass

but with this post, you have called the authority on yourself.
he may run away from you soon but he need that passport, though he would prefer to run and leave you than going to jail .
Goodluck

Is it MARGARET TACHA OR BBNAIJA KIND OF TACHA? why e be that ladies with this name TACHA too dey do gra gra

Tasha7:
Hello, I am a black woman born and raised in North America and married to an Igbo man. We have been in a long distance relationship for the majority of our relationship. We got married almost 2 years ago while still long distance and he recently immigrated to Canada in Jan 2020 under the spousal sponsorship. He has a wonderful bond with my mother and sisters. (my father has passed). I have met his family and we get along very well.

Everything was going well until I was looking up something in the search history of the laptop we both share and stumbled across emails he had recently accessed. Please note, I could not read the email itself, I could only see the subject lines in the search history. I will attach pictures if possible. It wasn't a normal email account like yahoo or Gmail. It was from a website called: Roundcube webmail. I had never heard of it before. Anyway, there were a bunch of emails forwarded from a hotel in Istanbul where people were being asked to pay their outstanding hotel bill (unfortunately I didn't take a screenshot of the hotel stuff). In addition to that, there were emails to 2 different women (named Wendy and Elizabeth) with the subjects: re: Thank you for written, re: back from customs baby, re: I am so happy our paths have crossed re: I am writing you with much sadness in my heart etc. I will try to attach the screenshots I took.

Lastly, within the same search history, my husband seemed to have been looking up songs like: 'what songs make a woman feel confident about herself' and 'what if I never get over you', and 'songs that make a woman feel beautiful'.

I confronted my husband that same night. It was 2am. He was already sleeping. I woke him up bc I wanted to catch him off guard. His explanation was that his friend in Cyprus had a bad internet connection and asked him (my husband) to look up something in his friends email account. He insisted that he had no idea what his friend was up to, as it was none of his business. In the process of me confronting him, he grabbed the laptop from me and deleted the search history. I told him that was making him look real guilty and I started packing my things to leave. He pleaded and insisted it had nothing to do with him, it was his friends email account blah blah blah. I wanted to believe him but some things just didn't add up...like why was he looking up those songs if he was just checking his friends email for him? His only saving grace was that the subject lines were written with poor grammar and my husband has excellent English speaking and writing skills.

Fast forward a few weeks later, my husband left the bathroom to put out the garbage and accidentally left his phone in the bathroom playing music. This is significant because he has never parted from his phone from the day he arrived. He sleeps with his phone beside him. He showers and uses the bathroom with his phone beside him. When he cooks, he keeps his phone beside him. The day in question, I went into the bathroom and locked the door shortly after he left the bathroom. Side note: I only lock the door bc sometimes he jokingly sneaks up on me to scare me while I am in the shower, so to avoid being snuck up on, I sometimes lock the door. I digress. I commenced using the bathroom when I noticed that hubby left his phone on the side of the bathtub with Nigerian gospel music blasting. I was shocked! It was the first time he was separated from his phone! I didn't touch his phone and started using the bathroom. Within 15 seconds, my husband started knocking on the door saying he really needed to use the bathroom and wanted me to open the door. He was saying he really needed to pee. I asked him to hold a minute, because I was on the toilet. He said he didn't believe me and then things escalated from there. He started pounding really hard on the bathroom door, demanding that I open the door because he really needed to pee. He was eventually pounding so hard and yelling to the point where he started to lose his voice! I was freaked out! I told him to hold on and I would be done in a minute! But he wouldn't listen and eventually broke open the bathroom door by force...there is literally a large crack down the bathroom door now. I was shocked. Beyond words. Once he broke down the door, he quickly did a scan of the bathroom and saw his cellphone was right where he left it. I didn't touch it. Then he was more calm. He then reiterated that he really needed to pee and went into the shower, pulled the curtain and turned on the water.

I started freaking out. I started yelling telling him that he was a liar and if there was any doubt in my mind he was hiding something, I need not doubt it anymore! He broke down the bathroom door NOT because he really nedded to pee, but because he was so terrified I was going to snoop through his phone! Of course he denied it. He was saying that if that was the case, the first thing he would have done is grab his phone. I responded saying that he's not stupid, if he grabbed his phone first, it would have made him look guilty. After that blow up, we stopped talking to each other for days...

And here I am today. If anyone could provide me insight into what is going on, I would be so appreciative. What is this hotel stuff and what are these msgs to multiple women? I am thinking he may be involved in a 419 scam or his friend is a yahoo boy....but why is he using such poor grammar when he speaks and writes excellent English?

I am so stressed over all of this that it is literally consuming my every thought. My husband only denies everything and gets defensive then ignores me if I keep pushing for answers. Outside of this incident he is incredibly loving and affectionate and treats my mother so well. He cares so much about what she thinks of him.

I have turned to this forum with the hopes that someone would have more insight into what is going on. Thank you so much to anyone who has taken the time to read this very long post and respond. I truly appreciate it. Again, I attached photos, but scratched out names just in case.

Thank you,

Tasha

Keep snooping through your husband's phone and you will soon find what you're looking for...a whole truck load of sh1t!

new accounts to test your writing abi?

Go to Amazon books

Dear Tasha, pls be careful of bad advisers, pls seek the face of God, Him alone knows the solution to your problem.. People are not the solution...

.

Your husband fit be yahoo

You never said he did you any wrong.f from Ur post.he have shown u real love and care.look.i am also Igbo.and we have our peculiar ways sometimes.this is a man coming from somewhere before he meet you.and decided to relax.he still have to close all unfinished businesses which may not have much to do with you.he knows there ar some information you may misconstrue.alow him to settle his past so he can relax well with you in his future

Now that he knows you are suspecting him, he'd triple his guard in future.

He is obviously hiding something and from your explanations about the emails and the answer he gave, there are pointers to another woman. You have to be shrewd. One way is to create the impression that you are not suspicious of anything and let him relax until he loses his guard so you can launch your investigations. When you are able to get a hold of his phone, check the frequently dialled numbers and save them. When you get a hold of the computer, try search for an app to retrieve deleted files (not emails). Some of the things he downloads can be retrieved. Also back up his internet search on your devices by syncing both.

Finally, put sleeping pills in his food (not overdose please) to make sure he sleeps very deeply and do your James Bond work. I think putting weed in his food can knock him out too. Best.

Abeg ask china

Born and raised in North America. Yet, you wrote like a typical Nigerian would. I am beginning to suspect all these nairaland stories these days

ask him

Your husband is probably into scam.
Does he own a website? Or run a server? If not he cant use roundcube.
Only scammers that buy mailers use roundcube without a website.
The poor english is another way scammers pretend to be someone from another country, a non english speaking country.

Follow him up jejele, besides what does he do? If he doesn't have a job there, that might give him away to scam.

Your husband is a Yahoo guy. He's writing in pidgin English because of the particular situation (i.e..the person he wants to dupe) .. madam, keep praying for ur Husband to change and get a regular 9-5 job

Hi dear, I will advise you should keep calm, since you are together now. Long distance relationship can make any man or woman do nasty things, I am sorry, that is not an excuse,for cheating.
Now you have your husband with you, try and create a very solid bond with him, try to make time for regular conversation . I think he will try to stop if he is having an affair. Make him a good friend. Don't stress your self.
All will be fine

All I will say is this, prepare for the worst, hope for the best. Know the truth, act on it and get it over with. Have a nice day.

Tasha7:
Hello, I am a black woman born and raised in North America and married to an Igbo man. We have been in a long distance relationship for the majority of our relationship. We got married almost 2 years ago while still long distance and he recently immigrated to Canada in Jan 2020 under the spousal sponsorship. He has a wonderful bond with my mother and sisters. (my father has passed). I have met his family and we get along very well.

Everything was going well until I was looking up something in the search history of the laptop we both share and stumbled across emails he had recently accessed. Please note, I could not read the email itself, I could only see the subject lines in the search history. I will attach pictures if possible. It wasn't a normal email account like yahoo or Gmail. It was from a website called: Roundcube webmail. I had never heard of it before. Anyway, there were a bunch of emails forwarded from a hotel in Istanbul where people were being asked to pay their outstanding hotel bill (unfortunately I didn't take a screenshot of the hotel stuff). In addition to that, there were emails to 2 different women (named Wendy and Elizabeth) with the subjects: re: Thank you for written, re: back from customs baby, re: I am so happy our paths have crossed re: I am writing you with much sadness in my heart etc. I will try to attach the screenshots I took.

Lastly, within the same search history, my husband seemed to have been looking up songs like: 'what songs make a woman feel confident about herself' and 'what if I never get over you', and 'songs that make a woman feel beautiful'.

I confronted my husband that same night. It was 2am. He was already sleeping. I woke him up bc I wanted to catch him off guard. His explanation was that his friend in Cyprus had a bad internet connection and asked him (my husband) to look up something in his friends email account. He insisted that he had no idea what his friend was up to, as it was none of his business. In the process of me confronting him, he grabbed the laptop from me and deleted the search history. I told him that was making him look real guilty and I started packing my things to leave. He pleaded and insisted it had nothing to do with him, it was his friends email account blah blah blah. I wanted to believe him but some things just didn't add up...like why was he looking up those songs if he was just checking his friends email for him? His only saving grace was that the subject lines were written with poor grammar and my husband has excellent English speaking and writing skills.

Fast forward a few weeks later, my husband left the bathroom to put out the garbage and accidentally left his phone in the bathroom playing music. This is significant because he has never parted from his phone from the day he arrived. He sleeps with his phone beside him. He showers and uses the bathroom with his phone beside him. When he cooks, he keeps his phone beside him. The day in question, I went into the bathroom and locked the door shortly after he left the bathroom. Side note: I only lock the door bc sometimes he jokingly sneaks up on me to scare me while I am in the shower, so to avoid being snuck up on, I sometimes lock the door. I digress. I commenced using the bathroom when I noticed that hubby left his phone on the side of the bathtub with Nigerian gospel music blasting. I was shocked! It was the first time he was separated from his phone! I didn't touch his phone and started using the bathroom. Within 15 seconds, my husband started knocking on the door saying he really needed to use the bathroom and wanted me to open the door. He was saying he really needed to pee. I asked him to hold a minute, because I was on the toilet. He said he didn't believe me and then things escalated from there. He started pounding really hard on the bathroom door, demanding that I open the door because he really needed to pee. He was eventually pounding so hard and yelling to the point where he started to lose his voice! I was freaked out! I told him to hold on and I would be done in a minute! But he wouldn't listen and eventually broke open the bathroom door by force...there is literally a large crack down the bathroom door now. I was shocked. Beyond words. Once he broke down the door, he quickly did a scan of the bathroom and saw his cellphone was right where he left it. I didn't touch it. Then he was more calm. He then reiterated that he really needed to pee and went into the shower, pulled the curtain and turned on the water.

I started freaking out. I started yelling telling him that he was a liar and if there was any doubt in my mind he was hiding something, I need not doubt it anymore! He broke down the bathroom door NOT because he really nedded to pee, but because he was so terrified I was going to snoop through his phone! Of course he denied it. He was saying that if that was the case, the first thing he would have done is grab his phone. I responded saying that he's not stupid, if he grabbed his phone first, it would have made him look guilty. After that blow up, we stopped talking to each other for days...

And here I am today. If anyone could provide me insight into what is going on, I would be so appreciative. What is this hotel stuff and what are these msgs to multiple women? I am thinking he may be involved in a 419 scam or his friend is a yahoo boy....but why is he using such poor grammar when he speaks and writes excellent English?

I am so stressed over all of this that it is literally consuming my every thought. My husband only denies everything and gets defensive then ignores me if I keep pushing for answers. Outside of this incident he is incredibly loving and affectionate and treats my mother so well. He cares so much about what she thinks of him.

I have turned to this forum with the hopes that someone would have more insight into what is going on. Thank you so much to anyone who has taken the time to read this very long post and respond. I truly appreciate it. Again, I attached photos, but scratched out names just in case.

Thank you,

Tasha

He's definitely either cheating in you or worse.... That's all I've gotta say. Stay safe.