₦airaland Forum

drsmath:
I will simply advice you to stop checking your husband's phone unnecessarily if you want to enjoin your marriage

How can someone enjoy a marriage with someone with a huge secret? Are you okay at all?

Madam, you dey craze o. Me as a husband no dey check my wife phone talkless of emails. You get issues o walahi. Na you dey find trouble for yourself.

africanusvu:
You never said he did you any wrong.f from Ur post.he have shown u real love and care.look.i am also Igbo.and we have our peculiar ways sometimes.this is a man coming from somewhere before he meet you.and decided to relax.he still have to close all unfinished businesses which may not have much to do with you.he knows there ar some information you may misconstrue.alow him to settle his past so he can relax well with you in his future

The man is definitely into something shady...People should learn to say things the way it is. Haba

Tash do you want to hack your hubby phone track calls,both wassap dm me.

Tasha your husband is into dating scam and do not want you to know, maybe because of the type of person you are, maybe if he tell you what he's doing to earn a living you will expose him, many men do not like their wife to know that they are into scamming business because most women don't have secret, small quarrel a woman have with his husband they will expose the husband to the whole world, so my advice to you is to give the man a peace of his mind, if you can't cope with him just park your load and leave him alone

My dear do not listen to all these Jealous ugly looking Yoruba people here on this forum, they are only after crashing your marriage
What you have to understand is that your husband is not a good man per se but he damn loves you and cares for you but he doesn't want to get you involved in his financial matters for reasons best know to him, you just have to make him trust you more with secrets for him to be able to open up to you, maybe you had at one time told him how much you hated scammers and all that, that's why he is doesn't want you to know he is one.......

Like I've always said in all posts or topics related to this;

"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then I will call it a duck"

That's all

TheKingIsHere:
Stop being stup1d and speak for only yourself

okay, you have never done anything dodgy, bought anything incognito, done anything incognito in your whole life? told a white lie about anything thing?

You must be from Jupiter.

madridguy:
Your husband his into it.

Into what?

My dear do not listen to all these Jealous ugly looking Yoruba people here on this forum, they are only after crashing your marriage
What you have to understand is that your husband is not a good man per se but he damn loves you and cares for you but he doesn't want to get you involved in his financial matters for reasons best know to him, you just have to make him trust you more with secrets for him to be able to open up to you, maybe you had at one time told him how much you hated scammers and all that, that's why he is doesn't want you to know he is one.......

Shoot him dead, by the way is he married to you or your mother? anyway, either way still shoot him.

Tasha7:
Hello, I am a black woman born and raised in North America and married to an Igbo man. We have been in a long distance relationship for the majority of our relationship. We got married almost 2 years ago while still long distance and he recently immigrated to Canada in Jan 2020 under the spousal sponsorship. He has a wonderful bond with my mother and sisters. (my father has passed). I have met his family and we get along very well.

Everything was going well until I was looking up something in the search history of the laptop we both share and stumbled across emails he had recently accessed. Please note, I could not read the email itself, I could only see the subject lines in the search history. I will attach pictures if possible. It wasn't a normal email account like yahoo or Gmail. It was from a website called: Roundcube webmail. I had never heard of it before. Anyway, there were a bunch of emails forwarded from a hotel in Istanbul where people were being asked to pay their outstanding hotel bill (unfortunately I didn't take a screenshot of the hotel stuff). In addition to that, there were emails to 2 different women (named Wendy and Elizabeth) with the subjects: re: Thank you for written, re: back from customs baby, re: I am so happy our paths have crossed re: I am writing you with much sadness in my heart etc. I will try to attach the screenshots I took.

Lastly, within the same search history, my husband seemed to have been looking up songs like: 'what songs make a woman feel confident about herself' and 'what if I never get over you', and 'songs that make a woman feel beautiful'.

I confronted my husband that same night. It was 2am. He was already sleeping. I woke him up bc I wanted to catch him off guard. His explanation was that his friend in Cyprus had a bad internet connection and asked him (my husband) to look up something in his friends email account. He insisted that he had no idea what his friend was up to, as it was none of his business. In the process of me confronting him, he grabbed the laptop from me and deleted the search history. I told him that was making him look real guilty and I started packing my things to leave. He pleaded and insisted it had nothing to do with him, it was his friends email account blah blah blah. I wanted to believe him but some things just didn't add up...like why was he looking up those songs if he was just checking his friends email for him? His only saving grace was that the subject lines were written with poor grammar and my husband has excellent English speaking and writing skills.

Fast forward a few weeks later, my husband left the bathroom to put out the garbage and accidentally left his phone in the bathroom playing music. This is significant because he has never parted from his phone from the day he arrived. He sleeps with his phone beside him. He showers and uses the bathroom with his phone beside him. When he cooks, he keeps his phone beside him. The day in question, I went into the bathroom and locked the door shortly after he left the bathroom. Side note: I only lock the door bc sometimes he jokingly sneaks up on me to scare me while I am in the shower, so to avoid being snuck up on, I sometimes lock the door. I digress. I commenced using the bathroom when I noticed that hubby left his phone on the side of the bathtub with Nigerian gospel music blasting. I was shocked! It was the first time he was separated from his phone! I didn't touch his phone and started using the bathroom. Within 15 seconds, my husband started knocking on the door saying he really needed to use the bathroom and wanted me to open the door. He was saying he really needed to pee. I asked him to hold a minute, because I was on the toilet. He said he didn't believe me and then things escalated from there. He started pounding really hard on the bathroom door, demanding that I open the door because he really needed to pee. He was eventually pounding so hard and yelling to the point where he started to lose his voice! I was freaked out! I told him to hold on and I would be done in a minute! But he wouldn't listen and eventually broke open the bathroom door by force...there is literally a large crack down the bathroom door now. I was shocked. Beyond words. Once he broke down the door, he quickly did a scan of the bathroom and saw his cellphone was right where he left it. I didn't touch it. Then he was more calm. He then reiterated that he really needed to pee and went into the shower, pulled the curtain and turned on the water.

I started freaking out. I started yelling telling him that he was a liar and if there was any doubt in my mind he was hiding something, I need not doubt it anymore! He broke down the bathroom door NOT because he really nedded to pee, but because he was so terrified I was going to snoop through his phone! Of course he denied it. He was saying that if that was the case, the first thing he would have done is grab his phone. I responded saying that he's not stupid, if he grabbed his phone first, it would have made him look guilty. After that blow up, we stopped talking to each other for days...

And here I am today. If anyone could provide me insight into what is going on, I would be so appreciative. What is this hotel stuff and what are these msgs to multiple women? I am thinking he may be involved in a 419 scam or his friend is a yahoo boy....but why is he using such poor grammar when he speaks and writes excellent English?

I am so stressed over all of this that it is literally consuming my every thought. My husband only denies everything and gets defensive then ignores me if I keep pushing for answers. Outside of this incident he is incredibly loving and affectionate and treats my mother so well. He cares so much about what she thinks of him.

I have turned to this forum with the hopes that someone would have more insight into what is going on. Thank you so much to anyone who has taken the time to read this very long post and respond. I truly appreciate it. Again, I attached photos, but scratched out names just in case.

Thank you,

Tasha

The only person that breaks down a door claiming to wana pee in such way is a lunatic. U are not married sorry to say.

How can couples claim to be married and u can't go through their fones? What bloody nonesense, well there are complicated relationships so I guess there are complicated marriages.

He's not clean and u probably married to a stranger. Get a private investigator and do it finding then decide what to do with the info.

Also it seems u dont know what thus man dies for a living rite? It's either hes a scammer or having marital affairs. Which can u tolerate or forgive? He cud atop scamming and go legit if he takes proper advice. As for the marital issues it will depend on how bad it is. Cheers

To break the ice in can ask him if he's cheating on u and u will like to kmow his frnds.. 2ndly still do ur private investigation on the side.

Glorifiednwafor:
My dear do not listen to all these Jealous ugly looking Yoruba people here on this forum, they are only after crashing your marriage
What you have to understand is that your husband is not a good man per se but he damn loves you and cares for you but he doesn't want to get you involved in his financial matters for reasons best know to him, you just have to make him trust you more with secrets for him to be able to open up to you, maybe you had at one time told him how much you hated scammers and all that, that's why he is doesn't want you to know he is one.......

@ bolded.

[color=#] 2684282[/color]

@Tasha.

Question is how did you meet your husband.
Does he still depend on you for papers that qualify him to be in Canada.

1. If you met him online, there is a chance he is into Romance Scams. So you might not be the only one he was trying to hook. Meaning he has not stopped fishing.

2. If he depends on you for papers, then 1, is very much likely true. And further, he is only with you till he no longer needs you for his papers. Which is the only risk you have really.

Nothing i said is based on the actual email, rather just the fact he has mails he does not want you to see.

bptc10:
Tasha your husband is into dating scam and do not want you to know, maybe because of the type of person you are, maybe if he tell you what he's doing to earn a living you will expose him, many men do not like their wife to know that they are into scamming business because most women don't have secret, small quarrel a woman have with his husband they will expose the husband to the whole world, so my advice to you is to give the man a peace of his mind, if you can't cope with him just park your load and leave him alone

That is the point. She should know that who she is married to is an Igbo man and IGBO men don't lose guard because of love, he knows quite well that she is a woman and a woman who is not strong enough can break a man she has his secrets anyday out of anger or frustration, the homeboy doesn't wanna take those chances even though he loves her for real..

Victornezzar:
See how everyone is answering with a well cultured manner because she's from North America

Assuming OP was from a place like Odeda in Abeokuta... They would have said she has insecurity issues

Lmao!

[quote author=Tasha7 post=89451892]That's come and marry job. Soft work. No dull

davidadenrele:
Sisterly,

I read your story with so much attention, and i appreciate the fact you come to this forum to ask for advice nairalanders respect to you all our forum and feedbacks is getting notice and attention all over the world, back to the matter before digressing it's obvious your darling husband is up to something and definitely hiding something from you, in as much "trust" is a vital for of any relationship to thrive its also good to be wise" even the bible says be "ye as wise as a serpent and be gentle as a dove" based on your story this what i deduce based on your observation.

1. Why would a married man so much in love caring and affectionate be so insecure of leaving his phone at home its' obvious he has something to hide.

2. To catch a monkey you must act like a monkey, your suspicion and method of catching him is too obvious he's African and you are an American he's wise and intelligent more than you hence he would always wants to close his tracks to avoid you catching him red handed para-venture you want to report him to the cops.

3. You have to be patient and strategic, if possible re-strategize, pretend as if you ain't bother about his moves and tricks to allow him relax, thereby giving you enough time to explore his information, via emails and phone chats e.t.c you cant be smarter and wiser than the person watching and observing you so says an African proverb therefore be patient and be more observant silently.

4. He's moves,insecurity, and hiding point to a fact that is a fraudster, there's always a high level of insecurity around a fraudster there are always alert, and impatient to avoid been exposed, they can never allow you to use their mobile phone just for a seconds.

5. You can employ a private undercover agent to trail his moves, phone calls, phone chats and so on though that would cost you alot of money, deep down your heart be prepared as there could a new twist to the whole issue if you found out he's a child by another somewhere in Europe.

I wish you all the best.

Gbam

Glorifiednwafor:
My dear do not listen to all these Jealous ugly looking Yoruba people here on this forum, they are only after crashing your marriage
What you have to understand is that your husband is not a good man per se but he damn loves you and cares for you but he doesn't want to get you involved in his financial matters for reasons best know to him, you just have to make him trust you more with secrets for him to be able to open up to you, maybe you had at one time told him how much you hated scammers and all that, that's why he is doesn't want you to know he is one.......

Hahahahaha! you are also a scammer too? I laugh in pidgin English . hehihehahi!

vincent7000:
A man gat to do what a man gat to do to survive , your husband is not cheating on you he is into scam trying to help pay the bills and the reason he doesn't want you to find out is because he is trying to protect you and the best way to handle things is to let him know you already know and try to fix things

See how you are justifying scamming.

I won't be surprised if you are into it yourself

Nairalandmonika:
Immediately I saw roundcube, I knew scamming was involved.

IS roundcube used for scamming?

Shed more light on this

Sorry to break it to you..your suspicions are 99% accurate.. this may not end the way you had hoped.. lots of dudes in canada you would have hooked up with.. why do long distance ?

Wish you the best.. but there are clearly skeletons..

uncleFola:
Madam,... I have read through your post and you have every right to suspect your husband cuz he might probably be into scam...... but then, u really need to take a chill and take your time to observe him to the point of no escape, (that is if he’s really into scam or whatever) while doing that, be very sure you didn’t do anything to destroy your marriage ..... the best way to catch a monkey is to act like one..... One thing I know for sure is that , he cannot hide forever..... but don’t act hastily to make things get worse, someone that is capable of breaking door, can unapologetically break you o...

Ma'am your husband isn't cheating on you. He is a fraudster. A good ol Yahoo boy. He is keeping it from you. Contact me privately, I tell you how to get clear evidence

Mstick:
Oh and BTW I found this forum myself, buy my own data, type with my own fingers, so no man or woman can run me out of this forum. Even if you like talk about my father or a dead child.


You want to troll?! Bring it on!


At the end of the day I am typing in luxury, not broke,not hungry,not jealous, just enjoying my life with my husband and kids.

I will have more kids whenever I want, I am still very young and desirable.





PS: someone needs to create a thread for 90daysfiancé I am obsessed with the show.

CC safarigirl

I always feel, no one can console a man on whatever .when they know, they make a jess of it.

You can always console yourself for all I care. Check my page, do you know your why?. And go to youtub for more. Stay strong woman.

gypsey:
okay, you have never done anything dodgy, bought anything incognito, done anything incognito in your whole life? told a white lie about anything thing?

You must be from Jupiter.

Is incognito created for one to be dodgy? If yes, why is it legal to use it?..It is common sense.

Tasha7:
Hello, I am a black woman born and raised in North America and married to an Igbo man. We have been in a long distance relationship for the majority of our relationship. We got married almost 2 years ago while still long distance and he recently immigrated to Canada in Jan 2020 under the spousal sponsorship. He has a wonderful bond with my mother and sisters. (my father has passed). I have met his family and we get along very well.

Everything was going well until I was looking up something in the search history of the laptop we both share and stumbled across emails he had recently accessed. Please note, I could not read the email itself, I could only see the subject lines in the search history. I will attach pictures if possible. It wasn't a normal email account like yahoo or Gmail. It was from a website called: Roundcube webmail. I had never heard of it before. Anyway, there were a bunch of emails forwarded from a hotel in Istanbul where people were being asked to pay their outstanding hotel bill (unfortunately I didn't take a screenshot of the hotel stuff). In addition to that, there were emails to 2 different women (named Wendy and Elizabeth) with the subjects: re: Thank you for written, re: back from customs baby, re: I am so happy our paths have crossed re: I am writing you with much sadness in my heart etc. I will try to attach the screenshots I took.

Lastly, within the same search history, my husband seemed to have been looking up songs like: 'what songs make a woman feel confident about herself' and 'what if I never get over you', and 'songs that make a woman feel beautiful'.

I confronted my husband that same night. It was 2am. He was already sleeping. I woke him up bc I wanted to catch him off guard. His explanation was that his friend in Cyprus had a bad internet connection and asked him (my husband) to look up something in his friends email account. He insisted that he had no idea what his friend was up to, as it was none of his business. In the process of me confronting him, he grabbed the laptop from me and deleted the search history. I told him that was making him look real guilty and I started packing my things to leave. He pleaded and insisted it had nothing to do with him, it was his friends email account blah blah blah. I wanted to believe him but some things just didn't add up...like why was he looking up those songs if he was just checking his friends email for him? His only saving grace was that the subject lines were written with poor grammar and my husband has excellent English speaking and writing skills.

Fast forward a few weeks later, my husband left the bathroom to put out the garbage and accidentally left his phone in the bathroom playing music. This is significant because he has never parted from his phone from the day he arrived. He sleeps with his phone beside him. He showers and uses the bathroom with his phone beside him. When he cooks, he keeps his phone beside him. The day in question, I went into the bathroom and locked the door shortly after he left the bathroom. Side note: I only lock the door bc sometimes he jokingly sneaks up on me to scare me while I am in the shower, so to avoid being snuck up on, I sometimes lock the door. I digress. I commenced using the bathroom when I noticed that hubby left his phone on the side of the bathtub with Nigerian gospel music blasting. I was shocked! It was the first time he was separated from his phone! I didn't touch his phone and started using the bathroom. Within 15 seconds, my husband started knocking on the door saying he really needed to use the bathroom and wanted me to open the door. He was saying he really needed to pee. I asked him to hold a minute, because I was on the toilet. He said he didn't believe me and then things escalated from there. He started pounding really hard on the bathroom door, demanding that I open the door because he really needed to pee. He was eventually pounding so hard and yelling to the point where he started to lose his voice! I was freaked out! I told him to hold on and I would be done in a minute! But he wouldn't listen and eventually broke open the bathroom door by force...there is literally a large crack down the bathroom door now. I was shocked. Beyond words. Once he broke down the door, he quickly did a scan of the bathroom and saw his cellphone was right where he left it. I didn't touch it. Then he was more calm. He then reiterated that he really needed to pee and went into the shower, pulled the curtain and turned on the water.

I started freaking out. I started yelling telling him that he was a liar and if there was any doubt in my mind he was hiding something, I need not doubt it anymore! He broke down the bathroom door NOT because he really nedded to pee, but because he was so terrified I was going to snoop through his phone! Of course he denied it. He was saying that if that was the case, the first thing he would have done is grab his phone. I responded saying that he's not stupid, if he grabbed his phone first, it would have made him look guilty. After that blow up, we stopped talking to each other for days...

And here I am today. If anyone could provide me insight into what is going on, I would be so appreciative. What is this hotel stuff and what are these msgs to multiple women? I am thinking he may be involved in a 419 scam or his friend is a yahoo boy....but why is he using such poor grammar when he speaks and writes excellent English?

I am so stressed over all of this that it is literally consuming my every thought. My husband only denies everything and gets defensive then ignores me if I keep pushing for answers. Outside of this incident he is incredibly loving and affectionate and treats my mother so well. He cares so much about what she thinks of him.

I have turned to this forum with the hopes that someone would have more insight into what is going on. Thank you so much to anyone who has taken the time to read this very long post and respond. I truly appreciate it. Again, I attached photos, but scratched out names just in case.

Thank you,

Tasha

YOUR HUSBAND IS A YAHOO MAN. INTERNET FRAUD STAR.