Hunye:


My mother in law made the arrangements, got a single mother that was in need of money,my husband slept and got her pregnant, she delivered a set of twins after which she was settled with money and she handed the babies over.
I was called by mother-in-law to come carry the children and nurse them as mine but I couldn't. I Know I can't possibly love those babies, they will always be a reminder of my childlessness and that what I couldn't achieve over years, a woman achieved it for my husband in a twinkle of an eye.
To be honest, I no longer love my husband. But he still loves me and making everything possible we come back together.

Hunye:


My mother in law made the arrangements, got a single mother that was in need of money,my husband slept and got her pregnant, she delivered a set of twins after which she was settled with money and she handed the babies over.
I was called by mother-in-law to come carry the children and nurse them as mine but I couldn't. I Know I can't possibly love those babies, they will always be a reminder of my childlessness and that what I couldn't achieve over years, a woman achieved it for my husband in a twinkle of an eye.
To be honest, I no longer love my husband. But he still loves me and making everything possible we come back together.

Jullima:

Isn’t this what spouses are to do for each other? It’s in the vows “for better for worse”

We should stop hailing people for what they’re supposed to do, you’re indirectly saying staying with an infertile spouse and honouring your vows is a strange thing.

Jullima:

She already said she doesn’t love the husband again and she cannot love the children as her own. The children don’t deserve that. If she has her own children what do you think will be the fate of those twins? This is how wicked stepmothers are born.

She’s being honest she can’t love them, let her go her own way and find her own happiness. Love can’t be forced abeg.

Her OP is really about the new man.

sisisioge:
Sheet! Messy situation there. I'm sorry, I'm not even going to attempt to advise as the matter is beyond me. But here are some things to mull about:

1. Going back to exes isn't much of a good idea especially when the underlying issue has not been resolved. If issue persist, they then go to their old ways.

2. Marrying an emotionally jumpy man is a dicey one. He falls in love quickly and probably falls out just as fast. This might not be the case o but it is better to really take your time with people like that. They are darlings when enthralled but something else when not.

I wish you good luck darling...my sister in-law got preggers at 37yrs after 11yrs of marriage. They ironically separated, husband met someone else, cheated on the new someone with his ex wife who got preggers during the affairs. They just kukuma moved back home to each other .

My very own sisi, abeg knack me better Tori na.. This one go sweet read for a new thread poo

MummyIMadeIt:


My very own sisi, abeg knack me better Tori na.. This one go sweet read for a new thread poo

Uneed2talk:
You are desperate too to make up for the pain your husband cost you with this new man. You are seeing all the warnings but you too desperate to tell your own happy ending. The new man is Godly, loving, can give his life for you, what is your proof from someone you met online? Just hear yourself, a man done having kids will give his life for you to have kids.

Do you know what it means to handle a divorced man with kids, you can't love those innocent twins but you want to love grown mostly difficult teens that are formed or you think they are not in the picture? Have you satisfactorily answered the question of what led to his first wife's death and the second wife leaving? You think you are his missing rib ordained from heaven? He promised to give you a child base on the god that he is, therefore everything else will not matter to you until they matter more than the child you so want. You want a child so bad and think it's love, has it crossed your mind that the man is looking for a woman that can't bear kids to take care of him and his kids, or you think you are the only one with a selfish agenda.

Your husband really did hurt you, you also said his mum pushed him to do it. You have no proof the desperate woman didn't give your husband kids from another man, this is btw though. Give your self time to tend to your wound and decide if you can forgive your husband or move on.

What is your exit plan if the new man is worse? can't give you a child too? Will you be divorced the second time? and how many reproductive years are you sure you can waste there? I'm not saying you shouldn't get a better man but your husband seems better than this one. You want to enjoy his money too ahn? You are so sure? Note, you are on a rebound and not thinking objectively.

sisisioge:




Haba...you want make I open my family's yansh in public? But there's is a story that ended well. Lovely people.

Ehnn, you know I like good stories with happy ending na.

Sisi use third persons to knack me this story oh

luwiizy:
lemme give you a secret, take those child like yours and keep praying..prayers like yours needs sacrifice and that sacrifice is by showing those kids motherly love, you will be surprised at what will happen the following year...God doent cheat.

Richy4:
Hello OP, I just want to know the rational or what prompted you to walk out of your matrimonial home..

<<< You said that your Husband (not Ex because u haven't divorce him yet ) asked for your permission to have a baby from another woman, then you told him to go ahead and u packed your bag and left...

<<<did he provoke u or did his family members gave you some grief in anyway that made you decide to start shopping for another lover/ husband..

<<<< what is the real deal? If u don't want to agree with him, considering how u said that he loved u, u should have made your stance known to him from the beginning that if that should happen, u will walk away...

<<<U were angry that your new man couldn't disclose some vital information to u, but do u know that someone who couldn't honour a contract/ agreement is equally as guilty.. (I know that people in the corporate world will understand what I'm talking about)

<<<This whole thing looked like a badly scripted movie... at least I have read a similar story from the good book where Sarah asked Abraham to go and sleep with the maid so that they can have children .. But when the maid gave birth and her shakara became too much Sarah had to cry to Abraham and asked him why he permitted a maid to insult her...

<<<<But in this case, u didn't say that someone provoked u...U gave your permission, woke up one morning packed your bag and walked away...Why

Hunye:


After all this long epistle what advise are you giving me?

Go back to my husband?
Get married to the Widower that I love?
Get a new man?

TheArchangel:


I understand how you feel regarding your husband and his babies. I can't do it either. Your mother-in-law and husband took the easy way out and made you out like a soulless being without feelings who will have to go along with their plans. To them, because you can't have a child, you can take anything they dished out to you.
If the babies were motherless with no string attached, yeah but this, this is tricky you can be left hanging after showering all your loves on them.

The widower is obviously looking for a boomerang and rebound wife.

Leave both the husband and husband to be and run.

Find someone fresh please.

MummyIMadeIt:


Ehnn, you know I like good stories with happy ending na.

Sisi use third persons to knack me this story oh

Uneed2talk:

My advice was there, take some time for your self, if your husband call you tell him you need an alone time to decide what is best for you, tell the new man you want to take some time off, don't entertain calls from him before he fools you more. With enough quiet you time, you would process rationally what is best for you. I am not saying just rush back to your husband, think well and deep if you can go back to him or not and what things you and him must put in place for your security if you decide to go back. I am sure your relations with the new man is less than a year and he is rushing you for marriage without proper divorce, another big red flag.

You really do think you already love the new man, I pray you don't find out the hard way. You are not fully healed to see well.

sisisioge:


Ok...so, these beautiful people(I swearit, they are hot!) met and fell in love in the city of London(I had to add that part ). They, against all distractions, came back to naija to get married in a grand style. After 1, 2, 3,4 years of marriage, despite several IVFs, patience wore thin and they started arguing a lot. Despite that, they managed to hold it together for another 9yrs or so. On a bright day God knew about, the wife finally sent the husband packing like the oyinbo wife she had became ( ). They went their separate ways with a lot of drama and the bobo eventually found a younger, more educated chick and proposed. Did I mention that the guy is hot? Hmmm...a lot of poachers even came to me to hand him over . Each time I put him up on my DP during his birthdays, I usually get a lot of attention, dang!

Anyways o, he was on the verge of marrying the new chick when we found out that he and his ex wife were sneaking around like rabbits. Chai...before we knew it we stopped hearing about new babe and got a picture of a proud daddy in a delivery room! Hmmmm...we Thomases had to see for ourselves o. Baby went to look like my grandma and sis vomited her....had my skin and her papa's...and got the perfect DNA test without a doubt! We love that lil madam with all our hearts and by extension forgave her mama for throwing our son out ...they are back together proving that no leaf comes off a tree without God's knowledge.

Ok, I should have opened another thread like you asked...I too like gbeborun!

Bola146:
I'm just speechless two of the men are still risky. Who knows maybe the first man has a child outside? Madam, please pray to God for directions.

Hunye:


Thank you But this other man treats me fine and promised me he will go to any length to make sure I have a child of my own.

He is a good man,his only crime is not telling me about his marriage after the death of his wife.

Gracealone:
It is because of God's favour on you that you stumbled on the vital information, never go ahead with the marriage until you confirm and understand the true position and why he kept it secret from you.

yvelchstores:
you are about to enter one chance. Let me ask you, why can't you take care of your husband's children? The new man assured you he will do all to get you pregnant? When he already has kids and on how much salary. I laugh o. U will see that man's true color soon, soon after he webs u in. Minus all the drama with your husband, you mean to tell me you can't affectionately care for two innocent babies? It's up to you really.

Ybaby:


The new man can not afford the IVF you need why are you choosing him? Right now you should be looking for a man who can pay for IVF so you can have a child of your own if that is what you want.

Decide what you want and roll with only who can give it to you. Neither men can give you what you want IVF and they are both putting themselves first... I advise you to do the same.

yvelchstores:
truth be told, ivf is not 100% reliable. She should do her findings. It will be heart breaking to go through failed ivf. There are children who need loving, her husbands children. She should go and take care of them. Every thing in life is not me me me

yvelchstores:
truth be told, ivf is not 100% reliable. She should do her findings. It will be heart breaking to go through failed ivf. There are children who need loving, her husbands children. She should go and take care of them. Every thing in life is not me me me

yvelchstores:
truth be told, ivf is not 100% reliable. She should do her findings. It will be heart breaking to go through failed ivf. There are children who need loving, her husbands children. She should go and take care of them. Every thing in life is not me me me

Ariza:
One thing is certain in all of this, Your husband loves and respect you so does your mother-inlaw . Look at it from this angle, First he asked for permission before going to meet another woman. How many Men do that? When Married men cheat with or without reasons, one in dire need of children still sought his wife's permission before getting intimate with another woman FOR CHILD.

Second : He made the whole process Transactional. He didn't lust after a young damsel virgin or a beautiful slay queen rather he made a deal with a SINGLE MOTHER in need of Money. There was nothing but business between the man and the said woman. How many men will pay off a woman that gave birth for them to stick with one who didn't?

Third: His Mother made all the arrangements, he didn't because he couldn't out of his Love for you. His Mother too could have frustrated you and with the help of family members pushed you to the wall till you leave the marriage but She rather sought out a plan and called you to come take the children. Believe me, it takes them nothing to have married the single mother traditionally for your husband and continue to pressure him till he throws you out or take you in. But they didn't, to her what she did was the best thing she could have done to help.

Finally: Even when he knows you are with someone else, he is still holding on, He is refusing to sign the divorce papers because he loves you . The truth is, What have you done for him to deserve such love?
Madam I think it's high time you step down from your high horse and be rational for once! Stop seeing the whole marriage like it revolves around you alone. Think of your HUSBAND too. That Man has done NOTHING wrong to you. You gave him the GO AHEAD! That means you consented to it and you are ready to bear whatever consequences, why back out now? Why did you decide to "push the man forward, then remove the choke? ". You betrayed your husband. That's the truth. Go back to him. Accept the children as yours, they we're bought for you by your husband. They are your gift, accept them. Probably you will have yours too.

As for the New Man, lol that's your Nemesis waiting to happen. Trust me. I hope you are wise enough to avoid it.