₦airaland Forum

Really sorry about your plight
Pls don't let depression set in so u don't complicate things for yourself alone

Sometimes it's when things get out of hand, it's not advisable to keep them private any longer,

I advise you open up to a matured and respected member of her family who could talk to her and whom she would heed.

Pls, Say No To Depression!
Cheers

For many years my biological father would reject my mum's food in other to punish her for doing almost nothing.oh! how painful it was for my dear mother, not until i boldly told her to ignore him and probably stop giving him food the moment he starts that nonsense.
My mum refused and thought i didnt know what i was saying oh.but one day, she got tired and started ignoring him.Anytime he ignores her food, she will carry the food and not give him food again for days, till he ask for it by himself.
You needed to see my father drinking water in an attempt to stay strong and fight till the end..
After the last edition of this story, where he drank water for two days, he has never tried that nonsense again..
How can a man ignore his food because he wants to force my mum into submission.
Mr Op, get yourself a PS4 console and get addicted to playing it.ignore her till she realises how fruitless her actions her..
Take note, you may have to ignore her for a long time because people who behave this way and broken and proud.

She will never change if you continue to beg like a child.


When she ignores you for a week, ignore her for a month. That's the only solution. That's the only way to correct this habit. You have to dissolve the pride by learning to ignore, make her beg for your attention. Never do the begging again cos it will NEVER change anything.

But this kinda attitude is even very easy to curtail especially if you have the mind o. Personally after begging and she ain't biting eh, I'll simply sit where she can't see move and lovingly masturbate, using naughty languages so she can hear them. Then if she still dey carry face, buy her favorite snack dey chop am noisily while watching an interesting movie.

Mtcheew, who came to this life to be suppressed by another? Baba u better grows balls cos u are pampering her to continue that nonsense.

Lolz, ignore my food to prove a point? Na there the man go see me dey lick fingers and belching deliciously naw. Na him go ask for him food jejely.. Lmfao. R

Seekness:
Please permit me to bring my marriage issues here for the very first time. Its true I've been on this forum for almost 10 years, I'm not very good at opening threads. But because of the necessity, I had to create a new Moniker so that I can briefly share my worries to ease off the pains in my heart.

Though she is very hardworking, generous and kind, but she has some very negative traits that belittle whatever admirable ones she may have.


This marriage has lasted a little over half a decade. But the problems I've always complained about right from the start is what I'm still talking about.

(1) My wife bottles up her anger a lot. If I offend her, she will never (hardly) tell me about it, I will only get to know about it through her facial expressions or her response to conversations, and if I ask her if anything was the matter, she will simply say "there is no problem".

(2) She takes too long to forgive. I can plead with her for forgiveness till "Thy Kingdom Come", yet she is not moved by my pleas. She will continue to wear a sad face for a very long time, (sometimes hours or even days) before she will grant me forgiveness, sometimes even in minor issues that I sometimes overlook if she was the one that did it.

(3) My wife hardly apologizes when she wrongs me. Even if she does apologize, she will expect me to accept her apologies immediately she said "I'm sorry" but she will not do the same if it was the other way round. That's pride!

All of these I have dealt with in silent pains with no hope of improvement in sight.

As I type this message, she is all alone in the room because of a situation we could not resolve. For over a week, she has carried a long face for reasons I do not know. I have asked severally, she keeps telling me "its nothing".

For over two weeks, she has not allowed me to touch her, neither have I had sexual intimacy with her. She keeps refusing all my advances to the point it was so painful after I pleaded with her for over one hour she still did not yield that I almost forced it on her tonight, but I exercised restrain.

All effort to have her talk to me in sincerity has not yielded any positive result for the past eight days.

I've told her of my suicidal thoughts (I'm not joking) but it fell on deaf ears because whenever she crosses her mind over something, bros, forget am! She can't be convinced to take up a contrary view.

Modified: As a result of these, I have relapsed once again to masturbation which I had overcome in the past. Since cheating on her is not an option for me, at least for now. Though thoughts of it are on my mind, but I can't just do that.

Please help a brother. Depression is gradually setting as my thoughts are going wild.

I need good suggestions please...

Seekness!

Things I really hate in woman.She has pride.if I may ask you op,what's your financial status?

ascendo:
Please, dont joke with that word SUICIDE. Work on her, she will change. Learn her love language, it works magic

she won't change unfortunately. It's a character flaw.

You are the major cause of the problem, citing your item 1. You are the type of person who wittingly or unwittingly trample under someone's foot continually and always quick to say sorry while at it. You cannot claim to be an adult and still feign ignorance of your action and inaction that would constitute to an abuse on another person, or not knowing when you offended them. Conquer yourself in this regard and you will see the problem solved up to 80%, if you do, she will automatically sit up, unless she is innately insane, thereby almost eliminating item 2 and 3. Strive to win her back and stop meting out abuses on her - of course, neither indulge nor condone abuses from her too after winning her back.

Also, after conquering yourself, you will overcome your suicidal thoughts - your suicidal thoughts stem from your continual failed bids to use disingenuous approach to have her under control. A conscientious you will bring a good turnaround in your relationship with your wife. She is a retaliator in this case, not an instigator - you are the instigator.

Jullima:
Seekness, some wives don’t talk because they can get into trouble for talking back.

When you try to talk to her when she’s carrying face, do you try to talk talk or do you talk because you want to have sex?

Maybe she senses you talk to her because you want sex and not to resolve issues.

What is wrong is wrong. There's no excuse. On judgement day God won't ask if her husband pacified her or not. She need to learn to be forgiving. It's very important for marriage.

misreal:
For many years my biological father would reject my mum's food in other to punish her for doing almost nothing.oh! how painful it was for my dear mother, not until i boldly told her to ignore him and probably stop giving him food the moment he starts that nonsense.
My mum refused and thought i didnt know what i was saying oh.but one day, she got tired and started ignoring him.Anytime he ignores her food, she will carry the food and not give him food again for days, till he ask for it by himself.
You needed to see my father drinking water in an attempt to stay strong and fight till the end..
After the last edition of this story, where he drank water for two days, he has never tried that nonsense again..
How can a man ignore his food because he wants to force my mum into submission.
Mr Op, get yourself a PS4 console and get addicted to playing it.ignore her till she realises how fruitless her actions her..
Take note, you may have to ignore her for a long time because people who behave this way and broken and proud.

Hahahahahahaha!!

This has to be a joke, or it's spiritual... Or perhaps it's both spiritual and still a joke at the same time.

I've not seen this kind of man around me before, thank Goodness because I would break the nose of someone like this with a few punches.

here:
It takes two to have a conversation. Why don’t you give her the same treatment but don’t do anything stupid outside. Completely ignore her and focus on something positive. Maybe she got you there several years back to make you miserable and feel it’s only way to humble you and you taken a good seat at it. Focus on something positive and assume she travelled wherever it leads you take it from there. No partner should make the other miserable. What’s it with being in same house and not talking that’s some childish mind game. Learn to overlook things and stop being sorry all over the place. Now that part of you feeling suicidal, you just finished yourself. How can you be that depressed over what exactly?You’re the man not a brother Inlaw. You have a lot of growing up to do. Grow your income, join a club , register in a gym. Do something productive and for sakes quit staying around the house looking for body to touch. People go to rigs and stay months what’s its with you must have her. Clearly she is punishing you and enjoys it so enjoy your life productively and keep an eye incase she gets wayward you take the red pill fast

.

Sir you said it all!

crackland:
This has to be a joke, or it's spiritual... Or perhaps it's both spiritual and still a joke at the same time.

I've not seen this kind of man around me before, thank Goodness because I would break the nose of someone like this with a few punches.

You know a lot of them, they look very hardened men but suffer much in their homes.. it's just a phase and they'll get over it.. everyone has their tantrums sometimes..lol

Bros, I hope you are not married to my former gf o, lol. That's exactly why I left my former gf, I told her we had to break up while in the relationship than to divorce. Told her I'd be dead in 5 years if we marry. I'm glad I did

Rozz:
She's not a good woman but why is it only the sex part that struck you the most hmm na WA ooo. Does it mean that married men have sex all the time and can't stay away from it for months or so.See how he's going crazy because of sex,he wouldn't have bothered about her bad behaviors if she's giving him overdoze of it SMH.

You misunderstood the whole write up. And yes, sex is very very important in marriage. Infact its a food in marriage.

This is exact character of my ex. Oga she can't change by you begging her, in fact she hates it when you beg. You need to change format on how you run the family. Become "I don't care husband". Be concern only with the welfare of your children. She will bow

Op I think you have to learn to zig while she zags. Happiness comes from within, stop complaining to your wife. Focus on making urself happy, Get a good wine, pour urself a glass, listen and dance to good music, start a new workout regimen, take yourself shopping, get new clothes and shoes for yourself. Don't bother about her, apologise for any wrong doing and put it behind you. You wife enjoys the attention you give her by begging and pleading continously. Subconsciously she likes to see you suffering, so stop giving her that satisfaction. The only thing she ll have over you is sex so learn to channel that anger and frustration you get whenever she turns you down into a workout or something that when you do it you ll get tired, exhausted and go to sleep. Be nice, friendly and accessible to her but don't let her attitude, actions or countenance influence you. When she sees that she's not getting that satisfaction of seeing you suffer, she ll either change for the best or for the worst. If she changes for the worst it ll only be a while before she ll be removed from your life because your energies are opposite so both of you can't exist in the same space. So put out good vibes and good energy. Dig up old unaccomplished dreams, now is the time to learn how to play a music instrument, join a club, become a chef, get a ps5.. And play with your kids Etc..

It is well sir, I hope you are not the cause of this constant malice. I hardly keep malice, I don't know how people do it but I think it also depends on your partner. One gift of the Holy Spirit is love, it comes with ability to let go immediately. I am very grateful for such grace, please kindly pray for your wife, she needs to die to self. You can add fasting and midnight prayers. Keep declaring the word of God on her, remember you are the priest of your family. It is well.

Rozz:
She's not a good woman but why is it only the sex part that struck you the most hmm na WA ooo. Does it mean that married men have sex all the time and can't stay away from it for months or so.See how he's going crazy because of sex,he wouldn't have bothered about her bad behaviors if she's giving him overdoze of it SMH.

madam when you marry you can decide not to have sex with your hubby for months.. Am sure your marriage wil b 'happy ever after'

cutewahid:
madam when you marry you can decide not to have sex with your hubby for months.. Am sure your marriage wil b 'happy ever after'

lol

Oga, your wife is controlling you. Keep begging Lol na 'silent treatment' she go take finish you. Act like you don't care and enjoy your new found love(wanking), you need am

Klass99:
@ Seekness,

First of all, I like your writing ability it made your story enjoyable to read.

Secondly, I am not married but do not be quick to discard the opinion of a single person on the basis that he/she lacks marital experience.

True, single people may lack that sort of experience, but some of us have solid relationship experience from relating with people of different races, age and gender. This is what I know from my own decades on earth. Actions really do, speak louder than words.

Show your wife that her attitude hurts and show her that you can play her game too. Show her through actions, don't tell her or try to dialogue anymore, talking to her and communicating verbally hasn't worked, so try something new and different.

Some people say, two wrongs don't make a right, I say, giving people a dose of their own medicine is one of the best and quickest ways, they learn how to adjust their attitude towards others. I learnt this the hard way myself.

Two wrongs can indeed make things right (in certain situations). I'm not a fan of "talking too much" either. I prefer to show people who I am and what I can do. I also pay attention to what people do, more than what they say.

OP please listen to this

cutewahid:
madam when you marry you can decide not to have sex with your hubby for months.. Am sure your marriage wil b 'happy ever after'

sex is grossly overrated, especially in marriages

am married but we can stay months without sex, and so for some of my married friends, honestly i dont understand it when married men beg for sex from thier wife's, it should actually be the other way round, what if the man works offshore or outside the country or even on transfer to another state, does it mean he can't control himself?? or he will just be masturbating upandan??

well i think this sex thing is rampant in poor homes and that's why they born a community.

klenton:
sex is grossly overrated, especially in marriages

am married but we can stay months without sex, and so for some of my married friends, honestly i dont understand it when married men beg for sex from thier wife's, it should actually be the other way round, what if the man works offshore or outside the country or even on transfer to another state, does it mean he can't control himself?? or he will just be masturbating upandan??

well i think this sex thing is rampant in poor homes and that's why they born a community.

Coming from a man,this is rare.

klenton:
sex is grossly overrated, especially in marriages

am married but we can stay months without sex, and so for some of my married friends, honestly i dont understand it when married men beg for sex from thier wife's, it should actually be the other way round, what if the man works offshore or outside the country or even on transfer to another state, does it mean he can't control himself?? or he will just be masturbating upandan??

well i think this sex thing is rampant in poor homes and that's why they born a community.

overated? i think you are kind of person dat believe every one shuold be like you

Seekness:
Please permit me to bring my marriage issues here for the very first time. Its true I've been on this forum for almost 10 years, I'm not very good at opening threads. But because of the necessity, I had to create a new Moniker so that I can briefly share my worries to ease off the pains in my heart.

Though she is very hardworking, generous and kind, but she has some very negative traits that belittle whatever admirable ones she may have.


This marriage has lasted a little over half a decade. But the problems I've always complained about right from the start is what I'm still talking about.

(1) My wife bottles up her anger a lot. If I offend her, she will never (hardly) tell me about it, I will only get to know about it through her facial expressions or her response to conversations, and if I ask her if anything was the matter, she will simply say "there is no problem".

(2) She takes too long to forgive. I can plead with her for forgiveness till "Thy Kingdom Come", yet she is not moved by my pleas. She will continue to wear a sad face for a very long time, (sometimes hours or even days) before she will grant me forgiveness, sometimes even in minor issues that I sometimes overlook if she was the one that did it.

(3) My wife hardly apologizes when she wrongs me. Even if she does apologize, she will expect me to accept her apologies immediately she said "I'm sorry" but she will not do the same if it was the other way round. That's pride!

All of these I have dealt with in silent pains with no hope of improvement in sight.

As I type this message, she is all alone in the room because of a situation we could not resolve. For over a week, she has carried a long face for reasons I do not know. I have asked severally, she keeps telling me "its nothing".

For over two weeks, she has not allowed me to touch her, neither have I had sexual intimacy with her. She keeps refusing all my advances to the point it was so painful after I pleaded with her for over one hour she still did not yield that I almost forced it on her tonight, but I exercised restrain.

All effort to have her talk to me in sincerity has not yielded any positive result for the past eight days.

I've told her of my suicidal thoughts (I'm not joking) but it fell on deaf ears because whenever she crosses her mind over something, bros, forget am! She can't be convinced to take up a contrary view.

Modified: As a result of these, I have relapsed once again to masturbation which I had overcome in the past. Since cheating on her is not an option for me, at least for now. Though thoughts of it are on my mind, but I can't just do that.

Please help a brother. Depression is gradually setting as my thoughts are going wild.

I need good suggestions please...

Seekness!

Goan marry 2nd wife!

Seekness:
Please permit me to bring my marriage issues here for the very first time. Its true I've been on this forum for almost 10 years, I'm not very good at opening threads. But because of the necessity, I had to create a new Moniker so that I can briefly share my worries to ease off the pains in my heart.

Though she is very hardworking, generous and kind, but she has some very negative traits that belittle whatever admirable ones she may have.


This marriage has lasted a little over half a decade. But the problems I've always complained about right from the start is what I'm still talking about.

(1) My wife bottles up her anger a lot. If I offend her, she will never (hardly) tell me about it, I will only get to know about it through her facial expressions or her response to conversations, and if I ask her if anything was the matter, she will simply say "there is no problem".

(2) She takes too long to forgive. I can plead with her for forgiveness till "Thy Kingdom Come", yet she is not moved by my pleas. She will continue to wear a sad face for a very long time, (sometimes hours or even days) before she will grant me forgiveness, sometimes even in minor issues that I sometimes overlook if she was the one that did it.

(3) My wife hardly apologizes when she wrongs me. Even if she does apologize, she will expect me to accept her apologies immediately she said "I'm sorry" but she will not do the same if it was the other way round. That's pride!

All of these I have dealt with in silent pains with no hope of improvement in sight.

As I type this message, she is all alone in the room because of a situation we could not resolve. For over a week, she has carried a long face for reasons I do not know. I have asked severally, she keeps telling me "its nothing".

For over two weeks, she has not allowed me to touch her, neither have I had sexual intimacy with her. She keeps refusing all my advances to the point it was so painful after I pleaded with her for over one hour she still did not yield that I almost forced it on her tonight, but I exercised restrain.

All effort to have her talk to me in sincerity has not yielded any positive result for the past eight days.

I've told her of my suicidal thoughts (I'm not joking) but it fell on deaf ears because whenever she crosses her mind over something, bros, forget am! She can't be convinced to take up a contrary view.

Modified: As a result of these, I have relapsed once again to masturbation which I had overcome in the past. Since cheating on her is not an option for me, at least for now. Though thoughts of it are on my mind, but I can't just do that.

Please help a brother. Depression is gradually setting as my thoughts are going wild.

I need good suggestions please...

Seekness!

Guy calm down

You accepted something that was toxic from onset and now its getting out of hand

You guys must have been breeding issues that has not been resolved over time and women ordinarily will keep things in mind and start dealing with a man with it

Pls form the habit of getting things resolved before the next day, depending on the lssue

Don't commit suicide because it will not affect her the way it will affect your families both the extended ones

Masturbating is not even an option because you may harm the nerves in that region

Life is too short for someone to determine your happiness

I will advise you sort yourself out and you know what I mean by that

Don't ask me what I mean because you already know where am going

Divorce.

She's using that control you . U messed saying it's making u suicidal. My suggestion: pick few of your things and move out of the house for 1 week. Try it and thank me later but the suggestion is not for the faint hearted person like u.

ValCon888:
The last thing you should ever do is to marry a woman who doesn't forgive easily.
Sorry OP. You have not married a wife. You've married a problem.
And that problem can only be solved through divorce.

seconded!

Thats what ended mine. and if i will ever get married again. that will be my number 1 sign to leave any woman immediately i notice that.

Please permit me to bring my marriage issues here for the very first time. Its true I've been on this forum for almost 10 years, I'm not very good at opening threads. But because of the necessity, I had to create a new Moniker so that I can briefly share my worries to ease off the pains in my heart.

Though she is very hardworking, generous and kind, but she has some very negative traits that belittle whatever admirable ones she may have.


This marriage has lasted a little over half a decade. But the problems I've always complained about right from the start is what I'm still talking about.

(1) My wife bottles up her anger a lot. If I offend her, she will never (hardly) tell me about it, I will only get to know about it through her facial expressions or her response to conversations, and if I ask her if anything was the matter, she will simply say "there is no problem".

(2) She takes too long to forgive. I can plead with her for forgiveness till "Thy Kingdom Come", yet she is not moved by my pleas. She will continue to wear a sad face for a very long time, (sometimes hours or even days) before she will grant me forgiveness, sometimes even in minor issues that I sometimes overlook if she was the one that did it.

(3) My wife hardly apologizes when she wrongs me. Even if she does apologize, she will expect me to accept her apologies immediately she said "I'm sorry" but she will not do the same if it was the other way round. That's pride!

All of these I have dealt with in silent pains with no hope of improvement in sight.

As I type this message, she is all alone in the room because of a situation we could not resolve. For over a week, she has carried a long face for reasons I do not know. I have asked severally, she keeps telling me "its nothing".

For over two weeks, she has not allowed me to touch her, neither have I had sexual intimacy with her. She keeps refusing all my advances to the point it was so painful after I pleaded with her for over one hour she still did not yield that I almost forced it on her tonight, but I exercised restrain.

All effort to have her talk to me in sincerity has not yielded any positive result for the past eight days.

I've told her of my suicidal thoughts (I'm not joking) but it fell on deaf ears because whenever she crosses her mind over something, bros, forget am! She can't be convinced to take up a contrary view.

Modified: As a result of these, I have relapsed once again to masturbation which I had overcome in the past. Since cheating on her is not an option for me, at least for now. Though thoughts of it are on my mind, but I can't just do that.

Please help a brother. Depression is gradually setting as my thoughts are going wild.

I need good suggestions please...

Seekness!

Bro... See the world of the wives is a very different one. What you listed here are very common among wives.

Especially no. 3. They don't apologize o. You better apologize on her behalf and accept the apology by yourself. Many wives don't apologize!