₦airaland Forum

Uyi168:
..
The other friend in question is still in school.. Make una Dey try read naaa..

budaatum:
I did read. I worked and went to school at the same time so the two are not mutually exclusive. And op is not his parent!

Ariza:
You owe that guy nothing anymore.Nothing! In the female world ,a pack of beverages,nice gowns and purse is enough to say "Thank you" and everyone moves on. I don't know why you have to take up a man's welfare because he has some influence in you getting a job. Will I ever understand the Men's world?


Sir, don't say anything to your friend.He will hold on to your words and use it against you in the future. People like that, you make them your friend but also set boundaries for them, boundaries they are aware of. Let him know you would have loved to help but your hands are tight.Anytime he ask for help, send him one third of the amount asked for after 2 or 3 days he make his request. You let people like that wear themselves out. Even if he report you to anyone, people will caution him themselves. It takes lot of patience and emotional intelligence to handle such people.But at the end, both of you will meet and smile. No fight, No quarrels just boundaries!

Enwhen:
[color=#008080]Abeg , I dey come , no vex, Na matter btw Kogi State Govt and NCDC I dey settle since yesterday...Issues everywher[/color]

Uyi168:
..
Maybe working and schooling isn't feasible for the said friend..
I'm not in anyway in support of the entitlement mentality of the friend..

Heiterkeit:
Pretension is not a sign of emotional intelligence. He has to say his mind to him like an unpretentious person.

Ariza:
That isn't pretense but wisdom .


However you are entitled to your opinion.

Ariza:
You owe that guy nothing anymore.Nothing! In the female world ,a pack of beverages,nice gowns and purse is enough to say "Thank you" and everyone moves on. I don't know why you have to take up a man's welfare because he has some influence in you getting a job. Will I ever understand the Men's world?


Sir, don't say anything to your friend.He will hold on to your words and use it against you in the future. People like that, you make them your friend but also set boundaries for them, boundaries they are aware of. Let him know you would have loved to help but your hands are tight.Anytime he ask for help, send him one third of the amount asked for after 2 or 3 days he make his request. You let people like that wear themselves out. Even if he report you to anyone, people will caution him themselves. It takes lot of patience and emotional intelligence to handle such people.But at the end, both of you will meet and smile. No fight, No quarrels just boundaries!

Heiterkeit:
Wisdom my foot.

budaatum:
Working and schooling might not be feasible for the friend but that's no reason for him to make op his surrogate parent. I mean, just see the amounts he asks for and how they keep increasing while being sympathetic to his own elder brother who also has a family.

But don't mind me. Having stood on my own two feet from very young, I can't help my lack of sympathy for entitled friend and obligated op.

Uyi168:
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You have spoken well..

Ariza:
Sigh!

Perhaps if you assimilate sentences as fast as you respond,the bolded would have shown you how erroneous your submission was.

Op is to set boundaries the guy will be aware of! That isn't pretense.

However like I typed earlier,you are very much entitled to your opinion.

Heiterkeit:
According to you: "People like that, you make them your friend but also set boundaries for them, boundaries they are aware of"


And I say only pretentious people will not say their mind boldly to those who offended them or unfriend those who offended them to this extent of them holding grudges against them, boundary or not. Pretentious people are not to be trusted. Only pretentious people smile with others as friends and still hold grudges against them. Pretentious people are evil. Pretension is not wisdom.

Ariza:
Madam calm down! I get your drift .

But here's the deal, it's not everyone you will "say your mind to" if we are to say "our minds" all the time , believe me a lot will go wrong. Sometimes it's better to act! . Just act, that way any sensible being will get the gist and move on. You see sometimes"words" do more damage than we intend . Some people twist, misunderstand, misquote words,they spread around and before you know it,it becomes something else.
Look at this:

If op says his "mind" or "act" like I suggested which will be easier to quote or reframed? Which is easier to spread? Which is easier to report? Dealing with people like Op's friend is very tacky and sometimes it's best not to say a word them. If he ends up being a vengeful type, people will justify op and his job will be safe.

As for smiling, Jeeeeezzzz that's after settling the whole issues with everyone coming out fine. Please learn to read with open mind.

zmpp:
Poor damage control. Pretension is not wisdom as Heiterkeit said. You in particular, stop being a pretender.

TrollPolice001:
Setting a business wasn't a necessary information but paying his house rent was?

Intrepid01:
all these guys with fake stories ehn....are you people mad?


Your friend is still a student while you are married with 4kids already����.....


weyrey people.. you pple should stop wasting your advise on a fake story.

motherfurking attention seeking simp

chideodiba:
Sir I have borrowed him a 100k before to do a business, he was only able to pay back 80k, the remaining 20k I never asked of it and he never talked about again.

Braintrain:
How much is your salary?

chideodiba:
Good day nairaland, please help me read this and advice me.
My friend who is still a student introduced me to someone who later help me got a job, I felt so great ful to this my friend and ever since I got the job I have always assisted him when ever he ask for financial assistance, sometimes he will just call and demand for 10k I will just send immediately, sometimes 5k, 8k, 4k and so on which I can't even remember right now , in February this year I sent him 20k, I paid for his accommodation last year, when ever I tell him to ask his elder brother who I work with in the same company, he tells me that his brother is married that he doesn't want to disturb him, and am also married with four kids o, just yesterday he came demanding for 40k that his rent has expired which I declined because it was too sudden for me, now I think he feel entitled that since he is the one that introduced me before I got the job I must always meet up with his needs and that idea is making me uncomfortable, I have a wife, four kids and my mum to take care of, now am worried his contenance yesterday described how ungrateful I am, please help what do I do

chideodiba:
Sir I have borrowed him a 100k before to do a business, he was only able to pay back 80k, the remaining 20k I never asked of it and he never talked about again.

Braintrain:
How much is your salary?

TrollPolice001:
Now you're making things up