Do you know why many adults today are suffering from low esteem? It is because of their upbringing. This has affected their life choices in careers, marriage and even their faith, as they can be easily swayed away from the Godly life they were raised with to living a sinful life. Read on to learn helpful tips you can use to raise your little ones to be a Godly and confident individual.

1 Do not body-shame or insult your kids.
Don't call your kids "dudu", "blacky" ,"hummer head" ,"wowo","blockhead" ,"big-mouth" ,"lekpa", "orobo-kiti", "ugly child", "Anya 4:30", "hammer head of horror" "idiot" "fool" "goat" "slowpoke"etc. If you are doing these already please stop it ASAP. Ha! Many ladies who are bleaching today are doing so because their parents used to mockingly call them blacky. Were you the one that created your child?, did she create herself? so why are you insulting her. These types of insults will remain in the minds of your kids all through their lives. That your daughter that you constantly call wowo will at the age of 14 have a toaster that will call her beautiful. Do you know what she will do? she will leave your advice and run into his hands just because no one calls her beautiful at home. Even as a joke, never ridicle your kids and caution whoever tries to do that.

2. Always call them by sweet names
Always call your kids beautiful, miss world, mr handsome etc. Proclaim God's blessings on them by calling them child of favour, child of grace, blessed child,prosperity is your name, love, apple of God's eyes, 'uwa-oma', peaceful child, my joy, my firstfruit, future president get my phone from the room etc. You can even customize these names in your local dialect for your kids. Personally, i don't call my kids endurance, perseverance and patience, biko don't ask me why

3. Give them positive proclaimations to say daily.
Say these statements with your kids daily at the end of their morning prayers. You can spice it up by jumping, hitting your chests, or shouting hurray to make them gingered.
I am beautifully and wonderfully made (x3)
I can do all things through Christ that strenghtens me (x3)
I am blessed, I am favoured and I am a child of grace (x3)
I am strong, i am beautiful, I am great, I can do anything (x3)
My protector is awake. The protector of (INSERT NAME e.g ugo) never doses or sleep (x3)

4. Don't flog or scold your kids excessively
Yes, the bible says spare the rod and spoil your child, but just as with all things, flogging or scolding your child excessively is very detrimental to their esteem. It leads to two things, either the child stops getting scared of been flogged or scolded or the child's spirit gets broken. He becomes a dummy, has no say of his own. He won't be able to speak out for his rights when been maltreated as an adult. On the either end, they can become narcisstic, beating up their spouses because they believe that is the only way to correct someone. Your kids are individuals with their own minds just like you. Learn to take them by your side and ask why they acted in a bad manner. Listen to their opinion and their point of view and correct accordingly. If you must spank use a cane and beat on their palms or buttocks. Please don't use your hands,belt,pepper,iron to slap or inflict bodily marks on them.

5. Treat your kids equally
Always show your kids that you love them equally whether or not it is true. Not doing so can make them grow up feeling like they are not good enough. Don't show one kid more love or buy better gifts than the rest. This act can breed sibling rivalry that will last even after you are gone.

6. Preach and practice Godly values with them
Teach your kids Godly values like love, peace, humility, forgiveness and how God hates envy, jealousy, lies etc. You can tell the first to forfeit his meat for the last, if he does without hesitation reward him with two meats. Tell the last to hug and forgive the elder sibling who spanked her. These values last for a lifetime. Remember to practice what you preach. You can't be beating your wife and be teaching your kids about love.

Lastly, endeavor to pray for them always. It is only God that can perfect our efforts. Please post some cute names and useful tips others can learn from in this thread.

GOOD, buh why written 5 and not 6 ??

Nice one.
Thanks.

Very enlightening

Good piece. But how many African parents are educated enough to understand psychology. How many of them are even exposed enough to be sensitive to the psychic effect of their child upbringing. Maybe some Lagos based educated parents sha, cus in the village, psychology is not understood. Rather they believe a child is the way he/she is cuz that's how his destiny from God is, from birth especially because a cele prophet prophesied that rain and sun will shine on the day he was born, that's why he's a calm or gentle type or that's why he has action like lion.

According to UNESCO 65% of Nigeria population are illiterates, that's why feminism can't gain grounds in Nigeria too. Until close to 90% of the masses are educated, the the psychology of parenting and feminism will be widely understood. Knowledge can't thrive in darkness. The mind has to be enlightened before it thrives. Nigerians are in educative darkness.

IceLip:
GOOD, buh why written 5 and not 6 ??

it was a typo.thanks for the correction.

Eulalia:
Nice one.
Thanks.

u are welcome

Oluromantic:
Good piece. But how many African parents are educated enough to understand psychology. How many of them are even exposed enough to be sensitive to the psychic effect of their child upbringing. Maybe some Lagos based educated parents sha, cus in the village, psychology is not understood. Rather they believe a child is the way he/she is cuz that's how his destiny from God is, from birth especially because a cele prophet prophesied that rain and sun will shine on the day he was born, that's why he's a calm or gentle type or that's why he has action like lion.

According to UNESCO 65% of Nigeria population are illiterates, that's why feminism can't gain grounds in Nigeria too. Until close to 90% of the masses are educated, the the psychology of parenting and feminism will be widely understood. Knowledge can't thrive in darkness. The mind has to be enlightened before it thrives. Nigerians are in educative darkness.

illiteracy has to do with the inability to read and write and i won't count it as the major challenge here. The major challenge is lack of awareness because even the so called educated people still do the same to their kids. Movie producers should produce movies that shed light on these issues rather than those boyfriend,girlfriend,maiden,prince,rich,poor endless story lines they keep acting. musicians ought to sing about these things instead of the gibberish they produce. What will it take a politician to forgo buying a luxury car and use the money to produce a radio jingle or posters in his local language for his community people to learn? What will it take lalasticlala to push something this enlightening to front page?

This article is one of the best articles I have ever read. I also have some tips about talk to kids and listen to kids.

You mean tips for raising indoctrinated Children? Like that is what we need more of?

Kobojunkie:
You mean tips for raising indoctrinated Children? Like that is what we need more of?

Take no offence, I only am trying to justify a thought.
On what basis is your upbringing fostered?

joinpreneur:

Take no offence, I only am trying to justify a thought.
On what basis is your upbringing fostered?

I could have turned out like of the many indoctrinated minds out there, but God had greater plans for me. Why do you ask?

Kobojunkie:

I could have turned out like of the many indoctrinated minds out there, but God had greater plans for me. Why do you ask?

How did you know the plans of God for you? And have you ever thought of how he wants you to achieve them?

joinpreneur:

How did you know the plans of God for you? And have you ever thought of how he wants you to achieve them?

I didn't even believe in God growing up, so how was I to have known God's plan, apart from what the Mindless religious people around me spoke of. Ofcourse I definitely wanted nothing they had.

You still haven't answered my question.

Kobojunkie:

I didn't even believe in God growing up, so how was I to have known God's plan, apart from what the Mindless religious people around me spoke of. Ofcourse I definitely wanted nothing they had.

You still haven't answered my question.

I thought you said you knew it...

I asked because of what I sensed about you; not to be discussed here anyway.

Meanwhile, we have had enough of junk kids out there. Kids who are not circumspect in their dealings with life. They just behave anyhow. There's no modesty and charagma in their approaches to life. Lack of honour everywhere. Reacting what they listen from celebrities with poor reputations. They sustain no conscience. Keep growing disorderliness. Bad gangs everywhere. None of them are ready to sit down and learn the brotherhood of life. But capacitated to constitute nuisance, destroy lives of young girls (the boys now) because they're too loosen and didn't learn the ways of living a shameless life.

If your kids join these set, I'll not forgive you.

joinpreneur:

I thought you said you knew it...
I asked because of what I sensed about you; not to be daiscussed here anyway.

I didn't know His plans as a child but I had ideas.

joinpreneur:

Meanwhile, we have had enough of junk kids out there. Kids who are not circumspect in their dealings with life. They just behave anyhow. There's no modesty and charagma in their approaches to life. Lack of honour everywhere. Reacting what they listen from celebrities with poor reputations. They sustain no conscience. Keep growing disorderliness. Bad gangs everywhere. None of them are ready to sit down and learn the brotherhood of life. But capacitated to constitute nuisance, destroy lives of young girls (the boys now) because they're too loosen and didn't learn the ways of living a shameless life.

Most of these kids were themselves raised in one religious home or another. So where many of their parents before them. Isn't that the recipe for raising good children?

joinpreneur:

If your kids join these set, I'll not forgive you.

My kids? ROFLMAO!!!

Kobojunkie:

I didn't know His plans as a child but I had ideas.


Most of these kids were themselves raised in one religious home or another. So where many of their parents before them. Isn't that the recipe for raising good children?

My kids? ROFLMAO!!!

where did you get the statistics from? It is actually rare to see a child that was raised in a godly home turn out poorly, even when you see them, they are usually the "black sheep" amongst their siblings and they still have that reverence for God and repent in their later years

sweetiemom:
This article is one of the best articles I have ever read. I also have some tips about talk to kids and listen to kids.

thanks alot. It will be nice of you to share your tips with us

JourneytoEL:

where did you get the statistics from? It is actually rare to see a child that was raised in a godly home turn out poorly, even when you see them, they are usually the "black sheep" amongst their siblings and they still have that reverence for God and repent in their later years

Nigeria is the most religious nation on the planet. So indoctrinated in their ways are the minds therr that they believe it their duty to also shove tge same mess that is their belief into their offspring

Kobojunkie:

Nigeria is the most religious nation on the planet. So indoctrinated in their ways are the minds therr that they believe it their duty to also shove tge same mess that is their belief into their offspring

No 1, Nigeria is not the most religious nation on earth No 2, there are far more irreligious people in this country than religious people

JourneytoEL:
No 1, Nigeria is not the most religious nation on earth No 2, there are far more irreligious people in this country than religious people

I don't know about that. But, I am updating my statement since checking wikipedia, the religious sentiment is down to 96% from 100% some years ago.
That said, so, yeah, Nigerians are one of the most religious/close-minded on the planet.

happy Sunday to us all

Its not always about instilling confidence in your children. Some of the most successful scientists, innovators, inventors etc are shy introverts. Just let your child know you are there to support and guide them. For example, stop telling an average looking child that he's cute when he is self aware that he's just average. I see so many people on social media typing things like "aww such a cute baby" when they know rightfully well the baby is just average. Falsely boosting your children's confidence with lies will make them not trust your words.

Nice piece...God bless the OP... thanks for sharing

Yea

Meanwhile know this that children Learn from what they see than what they hear


So be a good example

Beautiful thread....

More tips below from all of us @ [color=#006600][/color]


1. Children should be taught to be confident in themselves:

Every child is unique and should be taught so. They are all different with inherent values, talents and skills. Avoid comparisons between children and harsh criticism.

2. Teach them to value others:

As they come to realize that they are unique, they should also learn to respect and value others irrespective of their status in life. Tell them they are privileged and with those privileges come responsibility and the need to be respectful.

3. Teach them that they are called to lead and not to follow:

Teach them that it is okay to say NO and to be different. They should be trained to be confident in leadership. They should stand for what they believe in. As parents, we should ensure that what they believe in mirrors the principles of HONESTY and INTEGRITY.

4. Set boundaries very early in their lives:

Liberty should be increased based on their sense of responsibility. Appropriate rewards for exemplary responsibility will also encourage a child.

5. Discipline(Punitive and Non-Punitive):

Try not to discipline in anger. Also, do not make empty threats. There should be a balanced approach to discipline. For instance, as a child grows older, parents should learn to communicate/reason more and punish less.

The punishment should be proportionate to the wrong. Discipline should be consistent and parents should not send conflicting signals. Discipline should create intimacy and not distance, such that the child knows to come back and apologize.


6. Lines of Communication should be kept open:

When talking to your children, don’t be alarmed at whatever you hear. Don’t be judgmental, keep an open mind. Stay calm and give practical answers as much as possible. Also, know their friends and families of their friends.

7. Build a safe village around them:

It takes a village to raise a child. Teach them how to avoid inappropriate touches from anyone and to speak up if it ever happens.

8. Model what you want them to learn:

Don’t be different from what you are trying to teach them. Because children tend to mirror what they see than listen to what they are told to do.

Our Children are our heritage.
Teach them to grow with the Love of God.

Have a blessed week ahead everyone.

Jesus Loves you.

JourneytoEL:
illiteracy has to do with the inability to read and write and i won't count it as the major challenge here. The major challenge is lack of awareness because even the so called educated people still do the same to their kids. Movie producers should produce movies that shed light on these issues rather than those boyfriend,girlfriend,maiden,prince,rich,poor endless story lines they keep acting. musicians ought to sing about these things instead of the gibberish they produce. What will it take a politician to forgo buying a luxury car and use the money to produce a radio jingle or posters in his local language for his community people to learn? What will it take lalasticlala to push something this enlightening to front page?

Nice one bro!

Incase u can't read epistle what the OP said is

We wouldn't believe in Christ and all the stories in the Bible because they don't make sense like jesus walking on water, Samson tore the mouth of lion with his bare hands, a small piece of stone killed Goliath, Moses parted the sea with his rod, Elijah flew to heaven etc because we have a fully developed brain and we can tell lies from truth but as a kid we can't, we just digest all the lies as it is and it become a part of us. Take for example


How do we know our parents are our true parents? Because we are told so. Because we grew up with them. Because we grew up to know them as our mama and Dada.... Same thing will happen if we were truly adopted.


My point is, all the Bible is us just a story book filled with stories for kids that why an adult won't believe such stories.

Thank you

Thank you, Lord.

Nice one�