₦airaland Forum

gentlekay2017:
I'm not new to nairaland but I decided to join today because of my present dilemma. Kindly assist me my people, I need sound advice. I met Cynthia last year, precisely July 27 at a friend's wedding in Ibadan, Oyo State. Very beautiful, amiable and well educated. I have a serious issue against Cynthia, I am a struggling civil servant and investor. I'm presently investing my meagre salary of less than 90k monthly on a livestock feed milling and feed sales business. I'm an animal scientist by training and if well managed, feed milling business can become very prosperous in few years. I am jealously guarding the investment to the extent that I decided to deny myself of pleasures for now. The only vehicle I drive is an old model Hilux which I also use for the business. It was donated to me as near scrap by my former employer who relocated to US with his family in 2017. It was this my employer who was running the business before he sold everything and moved to US. I couldn't raise the money needed to buy some of his equipment and rent the warehouse he was using then, therefore I had to start mine from a makeshift warehouse which I'm now building up gradually. The business isn't doing badly even though it requires a huge capital which I don't have, therefore, I'm seriously bidding my time, doing cooperative, ajo and all those stuffs. My intention is to get married later this year or early next year. I am 34 going to 35 by October. I really need an understanding young lady who will grow with me. Cynthia started making frivolous financial demands since December last year. Money for her rent, hairdo, travels, new phones, birthday bash, this and that. I'm already tired about her frequent pestering and nagging each time I can't meet her demands. She works as a contract staff in a bank with very meagre salary. I tried to augment her salary but she didn't really see reason why she can't live big now. I have sat her down to explain things to her in details more than 10 times but she often come around with the same problem, money. I must confess that Cynthia is very beautiful, courteous and presentable. My mother and 3 sisters loves her so much. It's like she doesn't believe in my dreams and aspirations which I'm sure will definitely lead us to a very prosperous life in few years. I've stopped picking her calls for two weeks now, she came around to the feedmill today to ask about her offence and I didn't mince words in telling her that my goals and aspirations are so paramount to me for now and since she's not interested in it, I'm taking my time to re-access the relationship with a view to determining whether I'm going on with her or not. She left dejected without uttering a word.
I got home from work to begin to think deeply if I'm not wrong with my decision.
Please advise me, I'm confused.

Omar09:
SOME MEN CHASE AFTER WOMEN, OTHERS CHASE AFTER THEIR DREAMS AND IN CASE YOU ARE CONFUSED ON WHICH ONE TO CHASE, REMEMBER YOUR DREAMS WILL NOT WAKE UP ONE DAY AND DECIDES IT DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE

gentlekay2017:
I'm not new to nairaland but I decided to join today because of my present dilemma. Kindly assist me my people, I need sound advice. I met Cynthia last year, precisely July 27 at a friend's wedding in Ibadan, Oyo State. Very beautiful, amiable and well educated. I have a serious issue against Cynthia, I am a struggling civil servant and investor. I'm presently investing my meagre salary of less than 90k monthly on a livestock feed milling and feed sales business. I'm an animal scientist by training and if well managed, feed milling business can become very prosperous in few years. I am jealously guarding the investment to the extent that I decided to deny myself of pleasures for now. The only vehicle I drive is an old model Hilux which I also use for the business. It was donated to me as near scrap by my former employer who relocated to US with his family in 2017. It was this my employer who was running the business before he sold everything and moved to US. I couldn't raise the money needed to buy some of his equipment and rent the warehouse he was using then, therefore I had to start mine from a makeshift warehouse which I'm now building up gradually. The business isn't doing badly even though it requires a huge capital which I don't have, therefore, I'm seriously bidding my time, doing cooperative, ajo and all those stuffs. My intention is to get married later this year or early next year. I am 34 going to 35 by October. I really need an understanding young lady who will grow with me. Cynthia started making frivolous financial demands since December last year. Money for her rent, hairdo, travels, new phones, birthday bash, this and that. I'm already tired about her frequent pestering and nagging each time I can't meet her demands. She works as a contract staff in a bank with very meagre salary. I tried to augment her salary but she didn't really see reason why she can't live big now. I have sat her down to explain things to her in details more than 10 times but she often come around with the same problem, money. I must confess that Cynthia is very beautiful, courteous and presentable. My mother and 3 sisters loves her so much. It's like she doesn't believe in my dreams and aspirations which I'm sure will definitely lead us to a very prosperous life in few years. I've stopped picking her calls for two weeks now, she came around to the feedmill today to ask about her offence and I didn't mince words in telling her that my goals and aspirations are so paramount to me for now and since she's not interested in it, I'm taking my time to re-access the relationship with a view to determining whether I'm going on with her or not. She left dejected without uttering a word.
I got home from work to begin to think deeply if I'm not wrong with my decision.
Please advise me, I'm confused.

Eketem:
So her qualification was being beautiful
Kneeling down to greet your mom and calling your sisters " Anty" maybe cooking and cleaning gbam Nigerian man will decide he has found a wife and live unhappy then abuse will enter.


What are Cynthias goals?

The job she is doing now does she consider it her peak? Or she is looking for a man to put her at the same level with confirmed bank officers because it seems to be she is in competition with them.


What does Cynthia want from life? I bet you don't know, she is beautiful and can kneel and greet wife material don set.

Dont set yourself up for failure, resist the pressure from your mom you are not ready for marriage right now focus and build yourself a little bit more. With what you are doing in the mill are you ready to be suspending work to be with a family right now? Are you ready to divert your funds to wedding preparation and baby items? I think not.

When next you meet a woman before checking cooking and cleaning skills find out her goals and dreams and her plans to reaching them if they do not align with your own move on.

Sad part is many Nigerian men will not even get the kind of wife they need to grow because some idiot somewhere decided that food and cleaning is more important than having sense

gentlekay2017:
I'm not new to nairaland but I decided to join today because of my present dilemma. Kindly assist me my people, I need sound advice. I met Cynthia last year, precisely July 27 at a friend's wedding in Ibadan, Oyo State. Very beautiful, amiable and well educated. I have a serious issue against Cynthia, I am a struggling civil servant and investor. I'm presently investing my meagre salary of less than 90k monthly on a livestock feed milling and feed sales business. I'm an animal scientist by training and if well managed, feed milling business can become very prosperous in few years. I am jealously guarding the investment to the extent that I decided to deny myself of pleasures for now. The only vehicle I drive is an old model Hilux which I also use for the business. It was donated to me as near scrap by my former employer who relocated to US with his family in 2017. It was this my employer who was running the business before he sold everything and moved to US. I couldn't raise the money needed to buy some of his equipment and rent the warehouse he was using then, therefore I had to start mine from a makeshift warehouse which I'm now building up gradually. The business isn't doing badly even though it requires a huge capital which I don't have, therefore, I'm seriously bidding my time, doing cooperative, ajo and all those stuffs. My intention is to get married later this year or early next year. I am 34 going to 35 by October. I really need an understanding young lady who will grow with me. Cynthia started making frivolous financial demands since December last year. Money for her rent, hairdo, travels, new phones, birthday bash, this and that. I'm already tired about her frequent pestering and nagging each time I can't meet her demands. She works as a contract staff in a bank with very meagre salary. I tried to augment her salary but she didn't really see reason why she can't live big now. I have sat her down to explain things to her in details more than 10 times but she often come around with the same problem, money. I must confess that Cynthia is very beautiful, courteous and presentable. My mother and 3 sisters loves her so much. It's like she doesn't believe in my dreams and aspirations which I'm sure will definitely lead us to a very prosperous life in few years. I've stopped picking her calls for two weeks now, she came around to the feedmill today to ask about her offence and I didn't mince words in telling her that my goals and aspirations are so paramount to me for now and since she's not interested in it, I'm taking my time to re-access the relationship with a view to determining whether I'm going on with her or not. She left dejected without uttering a word.
I got home from work to begin to think deeply if I'm not wrong with my decision.
Please advise me, I'm confused.

gentlekay2017:
I'm not new to nairaland but I decided to join today because of my present dilemma. Kindly assist me my people, I need sound advice. I met Cynthia last year, precisely July 27 at a friend's wedding in Ibadan, Oyo State. Very beautiful, amiable and well educated. I have a serious issue against Cynthia, I am a struggling civil servant and investor. I'm presently investing my meagre salary of less than 90k monthly on a livestock feed milling and feed sales business. I'm an animal scientist by training and if well managed, feed milling business can become very prosperous in few years. I am jealously guarding the investment to the extent that I decided to deny myself of pleasures for now. The only vehicle I drive is an old model Hilux which I also use for the business. It was donated to me as near scrap by my former employer who relocated to US with his family in 2017. It was this my employer who was running the business before he sold everything and moved to US. I couldn't raise the money needed to buy some of his equipment and rent the warehouse he was using then, therefore I had to start mine from a makeshift warehouse which I'm now building up gradually. The business isn't doing badly even though it requires a huge capital which I don't have, therefore, I'm seriously bidding my time, doing cooperative, ajo and all those stuffs. My intention is to get married later this year or early next year. I am 34 going to 35 by October. I really need an understanding young lady who will grow with me. Cynthia started making frivolous financial demands since December last year. Money for her rent, hairdo, travels, new phones, birthday bash, this and that. I'm already tired about her frequent pestering and nagging each time I can't meet her demands. She works as a contract staff in a bank with very meagre salary. I tried to augment her salary but she didn't really see reason why she can't live big now. I have sat her down to explain things to her in details more than 10 times but she often come around with the same problem, money. I must confess that Cynthia is very beautiful, courteous and presentable. My mother and 3 sisters loves her so much. It's like she doesn't believe in my dreams and aspirations which I'm sure will definitely lead us to a very prosperous life in few years. I've stopped picking her calls for two weeks now, she came around to the feedmill today to ask about her offence and I didn't mince words in telling her that my goals and aspirations are so paramount to me for now and since she's not interested in it, I'm taking my time to re-access the relationship with a view to determining whether I'm going on with her or not. She left dejected without uttering a word.
I got home from work to begin to think deeply if I'm not wrong with my decision.
Please advise me, I'm confused.

gentlekay2017:
I'm not new to nairaland but I decided to join today because of my present dilemma. Kindly assist me my people, I need sound advice. I met Cynthia last year, precisely July 27 at a friend's wedding in Ibadan, Oyo State. Very beautiful, amiable and well educated. I have a serious issue against Cynthia, I am a struggling civil servant and investor. I'm presently investing my meagre salary of less than 90k monthly on a livestock feed milling and feed sales business. I'm an animal scientist by training and if well managed, feed milling business can become very prosperous in few years. I am jealously guarding the investment to the extent that I decided to deny myself of pleasures for now. The only vehicle I drive is an old model Hilux which I also use for the business. It was donated to me as near scrap by my former employer who relocated to US with his family in 2017. It was this my employer who was running the business before he sold everything and moved to US. I couldn't raise the money needed to buy some of his equipment and rent the warehouse he was using then, therefore I had to start mine from a makeshift warehouse which I'm now building up gradually. The business isn't doing badly even though it requires a huge capital which I don't have, therefore, I'm seriously bidding my time, doing cooperative, ajo and all those stuffs. My intention is to get married later this year or early next year. I am 34 going to 35 by October. I really need an understanding young lady who will grow with me. Cynthia started making frivolous financial demands since December last year. Money for her rent, hairdo, travels, new phones, birthday bash, this and that. I'm already tired about her frequent pestering and nagging each time I can't meet her demands. She works as a contract staff in a bank with very meagre salary. I tried to augment her salary but she didn't really see reason why she can't live big now. I have sat her down to explain things to her in details more than 10 times but she often come around with the same problem, money. I must confess that Cynthia is very beautiful, courteous and presentable. My mother and 3 sisters loves her so much. It's like she doesn't believe in my dreams and aspirations which I'm sure will definitely lead us to a very prosperous life in few years. I've stopped picking her calls for two weeks now, she came around to the feedmill today to ask about her offence and I didn't mince words in telling her that my goals and aspirations are so paramount to me for now and since she's not interested in it, I'm taking my time to re-access the relationship with a view to determining whether I'm going on with her or not. She left dejected without uttering a word.
I got home from work to begin to think deeply if I'm not wrong with my decision.
Please advise me, I'm confused.

emmaodet:
[/b]

Hmmmmmmm
But a large percentage of men fall into this category.

bukatyne:


How many men consider a woman's ability to support their vision when marrying a wife?

It is how to cook, clean and vargin only.

But again, an average Nigerian man is not marrying because he wants someone to support his vision: he is marrying because he wants someone to cook, clean and birth his kids.

Would have said sex however, they have decided from the get go that only Egusi soup is not enough for them.

Ishilove:
If you are working I don't see why you can't make your own darned hair with your money. Let whatever financial support your man gives you be in the form of gifts, and not because he is obligated or you demanded like the leech you are.

Women like Cynthia give hardworking, independent women a bad name

gentlekay2017:
I'm not new to nairaland but I decided to join today because of my present dilemma. Kindly assist me my people, I need sound advice. I met Cynthia last year, precisely July 27 at a friend's wedding in Ibadan, Oyo State. Very beautiful, amiable and well educated. I have a serious issue against Cynthia, I am a struggling civil servant and investor. I'm presently investing my meagre salary of less than 90k monthly on a livestock feed milling and feed sales business. I'm an animal scientist by training and if well managed, feed milling business can become very prosperous in few years. I am jealously guarding the investment to the extent that I decided to deny myself of pleasures for now. The only vehicle I drive is an old model Hilux which I also use for the business. It was donated to me as near scrap by my former employer who relocated to US with his family in 2017. It was this my employer who was running the business before he sold everything and moved to US. I couldn't raise the money needed to buy some of his equipment and rent the warehouse he was using then, therefore I had to start mine from a makeshift warehouse which I'm now building up gradually. The business isn't doing badly even though it requires a huge capital which I don't have, therefore, I'm seriously bidding my time, doing cooperative, ajo and all those stuffs. My intention is to get married later this year or early next year. I am 34 going to 35 by October. I really need an understanding young lady who will grow with me. Cynthia started making frivolous financial demands since December last year. Money for her rent, hairdo, travels, new phones, birthday bash, this and that. I'm already tired about her frequent pestering and nagging each time I can't meet her demands. She works as a contract staff in a bank with very meagre salary. I tried to augment her salary but she didn't really see reason why she can't live big now. I have sat her down to explain things to her in details more than 10 times but she often come around with the same problem, money. I must confess that Cynthia is very beautiful, courteous and presentable. My mother and 3 sisters loves her so much. It's like she doesn't believe in my dreams and aspirations which I'm sure will definitely lead us to a very prosperous life in few years. I've stopped picking her calls for two weeks now, she came around to the feedmill today to ask about her offence and I didn't mince words in telling her that my goals and aspirations are so paramount to me for now and since she's not interested in it, I'm taking my time to re-access the relationship with a view to determining whether I'm going on with her or not. She left dejected without uttering a word.
I got home from work to begin to think deeply if I'm not wrong with my decision.
Please advise me, I'm confused.

Omar09:
SOME MEN CHASE AFTER WOMEN, OTHERS CHASE AFTER THEIR DREAMS AND IN CASE YOU ARE CONFUSED ON WHICH ONE TO CHASE, REMEMBER YOUR DREAMS WILL NOT WAKE UP ONE DAY AND DECIDES IT DOESN'T LOVE YOU ANYMORE

gentlekay2017:
I wish to really appreciate everyone who have contributed to the discourse. Thanks for your advise and counsels. I had to really engage my siblings this evening and they all agreed with my decision at least for now. Two of them promised to call Cynthia for some counselling and advise. I'll also engage her this weekend to really discuss and know what her goals are. She has been holding to some very fickle business ambitions which she hasn't make any effort to pursue. As someone suggested on this thread, I once asked her to get involved in the business but she gave me reason why she couldn't and the reason is that she can't cope with dusts. She took ill the day she first came to the mill actually because of dust. I don't know what she really want to do, I haven't taken time to really know. My three sisters are married, two of them run their own businesses while our eldest is a university lecturer. The lecturer actually read the same course, Economics with Cynthia, she is suggesting that she come back for her PhD in Economics and that she may be lucky to get employed along the line while we have more years to really get prepared for marriage, Cynthia already had her Masters. I don't know her plans really, this is a weekend of decision for me, if we couldn't really make a headway as per what she really wanted in life, I'll call off the relationship finally. That's my sister's advise too. I thank you all for your concerns, I'm really blessed to have you guy's contributions, cheers.

CsRockefeller:
My own concern is how to invest in your feed mill biz and become a shareholder/Partner.

Righteousness89:
My Advice to folks seeking to settle down in Marriage is to Calm down and Seek GOD for your Partner!

Your Divinely ordained partner will never be a burden to you.

Your Divinely Ordained Partner will fit into your life just as you will fit into her own life..

Don't Marry someone out of pity!

Don't Marry Someone because your family loves her..

Don't Marry because He has 6Packs , properties and automobiles

Don't Marry because she Big boobs, fine face or wealthy

Don't Marry because he/she comes from your state , village or Tribe

Don't Get Married because all your Friends are married

Don't get Married because of your age

Marry Him/Her because He/She was Divinely Given to you..

GOD Almighty has not Stopped Directing and Reveling People to their partners!

You can have the features , Characteristics or traits of the person you desire , but Ensure you are Divinely led before you say yes!

Marriage is GOD'S Institution and He is Intrested in Making Great Homes

gentlekay2017:
I'm not new to nairaland but I decided to join today because of my present dilemma. Kindly assist me my people, I need sound advice. I met Cynthia last year, precisely July 27 at a friend's wedding in Ibadan, Oyo State. Very beautiful, amiable and well educated. I have a serious issue against Cynthia, I am a struggling civil servant and investor. I'm presently investing my meagre salary of less than 90k monthly on a livestock feed milling and feed sales business. I'm an animal scientist by training and if well managed, feed milling business can become very prosperous in few years. I am jealously guarding the investment to the extent that I decided to deny myself of pleasures for now. The only vehicle I drive is an old model Hilux which I also use for the business. It was donated to me as near scrap by my former employer who relocated to US with his family in 2017. It was this my employer who was running the business before he sold everything and moved to US. I couldn't raise the money needed to buy some of his equipment and rent the warehouse he was using then, therefore I had to start mine from a makeshift warehouse which I'm now building up gradually. The business isn't doing badly even though it requires a huge capital which I don't have, therefore, I'm seriously bidding my time, doing cooperative, ajo and all those stuffs. My intention is to get married later this year or early next year. I am 34 going to 35 by October. I really need an understanding young lady who will grow with me. Cynthia started making frivolous financial demands since December last year. Money for her rent, hairdo, travels, new phones, birthday bash, this and that. I'm already tired about her frequent pestering and nagging each time I can't meet her demands. She works as a contract staff in a bank with very meagre salary. I tried to augment her salary but she didn't really see reason why she can't live big now. I have sat her down to explain things to her in details more than 10 times but she often come around with the same problem, money. I must confess that Cynthia is very beautiful, courteous and presentable. My mother and 3 sisters loves her so much. It's like she doesn't believe in my dreams and aspirations which I'm sure will definitely lead us to a very prosperous life in few years. I've stopped picking her calls for two weeks now, she came around to the feedmill today to ask about her offence and I didn't mince words in telling her that my goals and aspirations are so paramount to me for now and since she's not interested in it, I'm taking my time to re-access the relationship with a view to determining whether I'm going on with her or not. She left dejected without uttering a word.
I got home from work to begin to think deeply if I'm not wrong with my decision.
Please advise me, I'm confused.

Eketem:
So her qualification was being beautiful
Kneeling down to greet your mom and calling your sisters " Anty" maybe cooking and cleaning gbam Nigerian man will decide he has found a wife and live unhappy then abuse will enter.


What are Cynthias goals?

The job she is doing now does she consider it her peak? Or she is looking for a man to put her at the same level with confirmed bank officers because it seems to be she is in competition with them.


What does Cynthia want from life? I bet you don't know, she is beautiful and can kneel and greet wife material don set.

Dont set yourself up for failure, resist the pressure from your mom you are not ready for marriage right now focus and build yourself a little bit more. With what you are doing in the mill are you ready to be suspending work to be with a family right now? Are you ready to divert your funds to wedding preparation and baby items? I think not.

When next you meet a woman before checking cooking and cleaning skills find out her goals and dreams and her plans to reaching them if they do not align with your own move on.

Sad part is many Nigerian men will not even get the kind of wife they need to grow because some idiot somewhere decided that food and cleaning is more important than having sense