₦airaland Forum

Ybaby:
I agree with all except the kids above husband part

My kids come first - I lie to my husband that he comes first but my precious EGGS come first

Anonymous forum so I can speak the truth

Give me your husband's number, I want to confirm something

bukatyne:
Give me your husband's number, I want to confirm something

He will not believe you sef....I have invested too much good will with the man.

He is pamperedly spoilt.

bukatyne:
Give me your husband's number, I want to confirm something

He too puts the kids before me.... if I need extra money I use the kids needs to get it..... because he may not answer me

Ybaby:
He too puts the kids before me.... if I need extra money I use the kids needs to get it..... because he may not answer me

Two ge four ni yen.

Ybaby:

He will not believe you sef.... I have invested too much good will with the man.

He is pamperedly spoilt.

@bold:

So good to hear.

God bless your home and continually increase his pockets.

bukatyne:
@bold:

So good to hear.

God bless your home and continually increase his pockets.

Amen my sister

Acidosis:
I agree @op.

Thank you Acidosis

It is Very nice to see a man appreciating the job of bearing and raising kids and keeping the house in order.

Unnerve:
If financial provision was so ordinary, you lots won't be writing long articles to defend your leeching behaviour. Cleaning and cooking is something anyone can be paid to do, it's not a special power of women. We are not in the 1800s

Lazy fcks.

We are not writing long articles to defend leeching
We just want to be appreciated for being primarily responsible for the children's upbringing and keeping the home in order, giving up ambitions and personal freedom and always sacrificing their convenience, sometimes even putting up with oppressive and unjust treatment just to keep the family together
The reason many men do not appreciate the roles women play at home is because they have no respect for women and always undermine them
If the tables were turned and women were told to simply provide and lead while men took over the house and kids that is when you will see multitudes of men appreciating the role of housekeeping
The reality on ground is that many women are providers in their families, you will hardly see a family where the wife is just idle and waiting completely for husband to bring every thing but many nairaland men seem to be living in some parallel universe where all the wives stay at home all day doing nothing.

Fountainofyouth:
How many men likes the idea of having maids do almost everything? Or do you live in a cage?

I'll ignore your banter, but don't ever insult stay at home mums again, or do they just sit at home and not do anything? You think cleaning, cooking and taking care of kids is child's play?

It's not child's play at all, men only see value in themselves and their duties ie providing that us why they think everything a woman does is useless unless they are also providers like their husbands
Many men dont respect women or anything feminine

nahzyla:
We are not writing long articles to defend leeching
We just want to be appreciated for being primarily responsible for the children's upbringing and keeping the home in order, giving up ambitions and personal freedom and always sacrificing their convenience, sometimes even putting up with oppressive and unjust treatment just to keep the family together
The reason many men do not appreciate the roles women play at home is because they have no respect for women and always undermine them
If the tables were turned and women were told to simply provide and lead while men took over the house and kids that is when you will see multitudes of men appreciating the role of housekeeping
The reality on ground is that many women are going providers in their families, you will hardly see a family where the wife is just idle and waiting completely for husband to bring every thing but many nairaland men seem to be living in some parallel universe where all the wives stay at home all day nothing.

In as much as i don't have any problem with traditional setting, the truth is that it very very expensive to run in a modern set up and very dangerous.
A man trying to feed the family, cloth them, thinking of to save, buy and maintain a car and house. Thinking of saving for investment for raining days and old age, sending kids to good schools, house rent, giving inlaws money occasionally and likewise his family, friends and church, shouldering of family events like burial, wedding, naming etc unless you want to kill an average man, i think it is only an insensitive person that won't know that this is a whole wholeeee lot of money which No matter how an average man will hustle, they won't get/have it. This is just the truth or reality. With what i wrote up there, the average man will be so financially drained that he won't even think about buying himself clothes or little treats once a while because is life is full of bills and bills and unending bills. To me, this is too much for one person or gender.

About you saying a woman working and still playing her traditional roles is more or less a cheat on their side - only if you know the sheer number of men helping out their wives at home, am also surprise when i see NL ladies claiming men only sit and watch television while the wife does all the cooking and cleaning at home because in my family, extended and friends, i see a lot of men too washing plates, taking care and cleaning up babies, supporting their wives. So you can see, the bias judgement goes both ways.
Instead of weighing down a man with unending bills, why not come in as a wife to shoulder part of it while he shoulders part of yours too.
Moreover, a traditional setting is relatively cheap to maintain and sustain if we follow the due process but where the issue comes up is when women are trying to live a traditional setting but demanding a modern lifestyle. Then there is a problem.

Ybaby:
A woman can be anything she wants to be but if she chooses to be a mum then her priority is with her young children then her provider husband and her money earning ventures - her mental state is no 1, her kids mental state is next and in trying to achieve these 2 , she will soon realise that a provider man allows her to achieve this 2 goals and when she has him - in gratitude she will look after him, give him vision and possibilities, show him opportunities, pray for him, strike his ego, sing his praise.......his success is her success, they are a team, everything (except pay bills) to make him feel capable so she can achieve her 2 goals - her kids and herself.

Sounds selfish abi.... ? The soil looks selfish when it is taking the farmer' seed, sweat and water - however give the soil a few days or months (depending on the farmers seed) she, the soil, mother nature will give him farmer her harvest, multiplication, abundance. You give her no seed and expect her to produce...... lol..... she will give you weeds, badly untrained kids, dirty unkempt house, wife who is NOT attentive or devoted, cheating wife trying to make ends meet, rude wife.

Alot of young men insisting on sharing bills dont really know what they are asking for... it looks good on paper but in real life you are asking a soil for harvest without seeding it, asking a wife not to cheat without providing, asking a woman for child without seeding her etc

Seed your woman and get your harvest. Ko je ju be ye no lo.

Ire o!

I love this

Who said that the traditional role of a wife is to stay at home?
Who told you guys this?
Hian

My mum was a trader, so also her mum and great grandmum.

In the olden days when a man are rated with the number of barns and livestock he has, his wives and children go to farm with him. After farm work, the wives retire to cook while the man will climb palm tree to tap palm wine they will use to wash the food down.
Gosh!
All the women in various markets, offices are ghosts.
All these frustrated souls everywhere. I will bite somebody.

pyyxxaro:
A woman becomes a liability when she refuses to useful to herself and her environment.


She wants you to subscribe Dstv of 15k (Premium) so that she can watch Tasha and co deceiving themselves.

Imagine my guy took a lady out recently, before we could blink , she had already eaten 5 plates of snail sauce and each plate has 5 snails (25 snails ) at the rate of 3k per plate


Won’t that lady end up being a liability




Make nobody quote me oh , except you want make Olumo rock fall on top ur small intestine

Lol, let the lady enjoy biko.

Only when a man has become a LIABILITY to the woman. After all, it takes 2 to tango!

nahzyla:
It's not child's play at all, men only see value in themselves and their duties ie providing that us why they think everything a woman does is useless unless they are also providers like their husbands
Many men dont respect women or anything feminine

The violent taketh it by force.

The reason why they are currently shouting black lives matter is because left to the oppressors, life is good and they have nothing to lose for one man to use his knee to kill another man in broad day light when there is no war.

I say this because many women are waiting for oppressor kind of men to appreciate them and acknowledge them - my advise will be that women take thier life in thier own hands by having standards and adhering strictly to those standards , lobbying for better laws for women and making sure they avoid marrying downright mad men.

See the rape accusations flying around will let you know too many badly behaved men with nothing to lose, as a woman be devious .... Eve made Adam eat that apple, Eve made friends with the serpent, Lilth was even worse than Eve, Delilah conquered Samson...... you have power .... alot of power as a woman. Be good but if threatened be devious!

pyyxxaro:
A woman becomes a liability when she refuses to useful to herself and her environment.


She wants you to subscribe Dstv of 15k (Premium) so that she can watch Tasha and co deceiving themselves.

Imagine my guy took a lady out recently, before we could blink , she had already eaten 5 plates of snail sauce and each plate has 5 snails (25 snails ) at the rate of 3k per plate


Won’t that lady end up being a liability




Make nobody quote me oh , except you want make Olumo rock fall on top ur small intestine

Watching Tacha all day na liability to herself sef but very few women watch Tacha all day.

As for the snails, she enjoyed it.... N15k snails o ma run down

Ybaby:
The violent taketh it by force.

The reason why they are currently shouting black lives matter is because left to the oppressors, life is good and they have nothing to lose for one man to use his knee to kill another man in broad day light when there is no war.

I say this because many women are waiting for oppressor kind of men to appreciate them and acknowledge them - my advise will be that women take thier life in thier own hands by having standards and adhering strictly to those standards , lobbying for better laws for women and making sure they avoid marrying downright mad men.

See the rape accusations flying around will let you know too many badly behaved men with nothing to lose, as a woman be devious .... Eve made Adam eat that apple, Eve made friends with the serpent, Lilth was even worse than Eve, Delilah conquered Samson...... you have power .... alot of power as a woman. Be good but if threatened be devious!

@bold:

Perhaps from another person, it would make sense.

Many women are waiting for oppressor kind of men to appreciate them and acknowledge them

You see the bold above?

El classico!

You don't marry a mad man and except sanity.

bukatyne:
@bold:

Perhaps from another person, it would make sense.

Many women are waiting for oppressor kind of men to appreciate them and acknowledge them

You see the bold above?

El classico!

You don't marry a mad man and except sanity.

How do you mean it does not make sense?

Ybaby:
How do you mean it does not make sense?

I totally agree with you

I say same thing here a lot and it has a lot of monikers in stitches.

Maybe coming from you, they will pay heed.

bukatyne:
@bold:

Perhaps from another person, it would make sense.

Many women are waiting for oppressor kind of men to appreciate them and acknowledge them

You see the bold above?

El classico!

You don't marry a mad man and except sanity.

It takes being a mad woman to wait for a mad man - why don't you think about it.
We have far more mad women in nigeria waiting for their so called mad men than you can fathom.
The only reason you are watering the woman part down is because you are a lady and it will be hard for you to stomach the reality.
Also, who raises these so called mad men? As we all know most children are being raised and close to their mums than dads, that speaks a lot about women raising the so called mad men mad women are waiting to marry.
You can never have a mad man to marry when their are no mad women to marry them.
I guess next time, we will choose the kind of words we use when trying to spite the other gender

bukatyne:


I totally agree with you

I say same thing here a lot and it has a lot of monikers in stitches.

Maybe coming from you, they will pay heed.

Oh!!!!!

I get it now

Those who will be in stitches - will be in stitches. Truth is not easy to swallow but it is what it is

I do it for unborn kids.... when mama get sense to choose better daddy - fewer kids will suffer or be made to beg or hawk.

We must continue to say it . Trust me those who need it may not comment but they take the advice and 10 years from now it is still on here.

emmaodet:
It takes being a mad woman to wait for a mad man - why don't you think about it.
We have far more mad women in nigeria waiting for their so called mad men than you can fathom.
The only reason you are watering the woman part down is because you are a lady and it will be hard for you to stomach the reality.
Also, who raises these so called mad men? As we all know most children are being raised and close to their mums than dads, that speaks a lot [i]about women raising the so called mad men [/i]mad women are waiting to marry.
You can never have a mad man to marry when their are no mad women to marry them.
I guess next time, we will choose the kind of words we use when trying to spite the other gender

You are kuku correct. You mama raised you.

See bolded.

Longest time

emmaodet:
In as much as i don't have any problem with traditional setting, the truth is that it very very expensive to run in a modern set up and very dangerous.
A man trying to feed the family, cloth them, thinking of to save, buy and maintain a car and house. Thinking of saving for investment for raining days and old age, sending kids to good schools, house rent, giving inlaws money occasionally and likewise his family, friends and church, shouldering of family events like burial, wedding, naming etc unless you want to kill an average man, i think it is only an insensitive person that won't know that this is a whole wholeeee lot of money which No matter how an average man will hustle, they won't get/have it. This is just the truth or reality. With what i wrote up there, the average man will be so financially drained that he won't even think about buying himself clothes or little treats once a while because is life is full of bills and bills and unending bills. To me, this is too much for one person or gender.

About you saying a woman working and still playing her traditional roles is more or less a cheat on their side - only if you know the sheer number of men helping out their wives at home, am also surprise when i see NL ladies claiming men only sit and watch television while the wife does all the cooking and cleaning at home because in my family, extended and friends, i see a lot of men too washing plates, taking care and cleaning up babies, supporting their wives. So you can see, the bias judgement goes both ways.
Instead of weighing down a man with unending bills, why not come in as a wife to shoulder part of it while he shoulders part of yours too.
Moreover, a traditional setting is relatively cheap to maintain and sustain if we follow the due process but where the issue comes up is when women are trying to live a traditional setting but demanding a modern lifestyle. Then there is a problem.

Thank you for this.This is exactly my mind on this. The harsh economic realities in the country is too much for one person alone.Marriage should be partnership.The man and woman should help each other

IAMBlesssed:
Thank you for this.This is exactly my mind on this. The harsh economic realities in the country is too much for one person alone.Marriage should be partnership.The man and woman should help each other

Thanks for being understanding. Some of the ladies on this forum have called me many derogatory names for being logical. They said am lazy and only looking for a woman to feed me, am not responsible blah blah blah.
It is only someone who is not logical or sensitive that will think only one gender or partner should shoulder the massive financial burden of modern marriage. Am sorry, i can't marry such a woman.

emmaodet:
Thanks for being understanding. Some of the ladies on this forum have called me many derogatory names for being logical. They said am lazy and only looking for a woman to feed me, am not responsible blah blah blah.
It is only someone who is not logical or sensitive that will think only one gender or partner should shoulder the massive financial burden of modern marriage. Am sorry, i can't marry such a woman.

You re right. The man is the head of the home and chief provider.It doesn't mean that the woman should just be a spectator.Just Like Sassysure pointed out, having a business/working wouldn't prevent one from being a good wife/mother.Forget NL comments.. reality is very different.

How much does an average worker earn? For those in business how much is the average capital of a young man doing a legitimate business? For those in Lagos/Abj/PH .Calculate ur day to day expenses as a family man and you will find out that the young family has opened door for poverty. We need to be objective about serious issues like this. Things are no more the same, hardship and poverty is staring us in the face especially when one is careless with issues like this..

IAMBlesssed:
You re right. The man is the head of the home and chief provider.It doesn't mean that the woman should just be a spectator.Just Like Sassysure pointed out, having a business/working wouldn't prevent one from being a good wife/mother.Forget NL comments.. reality is very different.

How much does an average worker earn? For those in business how much is the average capital of a young man doing a legitimate business? For those in Lagos/Abj/PH .Calculate ur day to day expenses as a family man and you will find out that the young family has opened door for poverty. We need to be objective about serious issues like this. Things are no more the same, hardship and poverty is staring us in the face especially when one is careless with issues like this..

hmmmmmmmmmmm
well written. I hardly see comments from women like you regularly, maybe you people just prefer to read as guest and not comment regularly.

emmaodet:
Thanks for being understanding. Some of the ladies on this forum have called me many derogatory names for being logical. They said am lazy and only looking for a woman to feed me, am not responsible blah blah blah.
It is only someone who is not logical or sensitive that will think only one gender or partner should shoulder the massive financial burden of modern marriage. Am sorry, i can't marry such a woman.

But you are married nah

Genset:
This is the major reason why marriages still last among the igbos,they follow the traditional way of marriage which is basically provision by the man anf home-keeping by the women. This is why their men hustle so hard and marry very late so as to be able to provide for their family adequately. In this way, the equation is balanced and everyone is happy. Kudos to all Igbo men especially Anambra men.

Na lie. We are changing. Especially the educated ones.

nahzyla:
Thank you Acidosis

It is Very nice to see a man appreciating the job of bearing and raising kids and keeping the house in order.

What happens if the woman is incapable of birthing kids?

nahzyla:
We are not writing long articles to defend leeching
We just want to be appreciated for being primarily responsible for the children's upbringing and keeping the home in order, giving up ambitions and personal freedom and always sacrificing their convenience, sometimes even putting up with oppressive and unjust treatment just to keep the family together
The reason many men do not appreciate the roles women play at home is because they have no respect for women and always undermine them
If the tables were turned and women were told to simply provide and lead while men took over the house and kids that is when you will see multitudes of men appreciating the role of housekeeping
The reality on ground is that many women are going providers in their families, you will hardly see a family where the wife is just idle and waiting completely for husband to bring every thing but many nairaland men seem to be living in some parallel universe where all the wives stay at home all day nothing.

Mama Ybaby!!! I'm sending you a bag load of sprinkles!!! You dey burst my brain.. I always look out for your comments.

nahzyla:
We are not writing long articles to defend leeching
We just want to be appreciated for being primarily responsible for the children's upbringing and keeping the home in order, giving up ambitions and personal freedom and always sacrificing their convenience, sometimes even putting up with oppressive and unjust treatment just to keep the family together
The reason many men do not appreciate the roles women play at home is because they have no respect for women and always undermine them
If the tables were turned and women were told to simply provide and lead while men took over the house and kids that is when you will see multitudes of men appreciating the role of housekeeping
The reality on ground is that many women are going providers in their families, you will hardly see a family where the wife is just idle and waiting completely for husband to bring every thing but many nairaland men seem to be living in some parallel universe where all the wives stay at home all day nothing.

If you already knew this, what then is the purpose of your topic?
You don't like it when married women are providers, you prefer it when she does not contribute to the financial upkeep of the family.

For me, a woman should be actively engaged in one career, job, trade etc or the other but not for the sole purpose of contributing to family upkeep. That is the primary role of the man. If as a man, you have a woman that supports financially, it is just an extra feature for you and it remains only an asset to you as long as it does not disturb the primary role of the woman. If it does, your working class wife is fast becoming a liability.

In summary, your essay is to encourage leeching dear.
In year 2020 AD, you should not talking of primary roles. It's cave mentality