₦airaland Forum

Sterope:
This one is clearly mad! Coming from a club owner in Nigeria, I won't be surprised if he is one of them.

He would be definitely or an apologist, see how Nairalanders are supporting him, this shows how much rapist we have in Nigeria and rapist apologists. And how the society support rape.
If a girl is raped, she has all the right to speak up whenever she feels comfortable, speaking up is not easy for victims depending on their age, friends, confidence, parents or the abuser, there's usually fear, confusion, depression on victims. We are in the process of teaching girls to be able to speak up by supporting them and giving them confidence.
Most of these people speaking up now is because they are grown and matured enough that they already feel so loved and they know they have nothing to loose, and they do not fear people that would judge them. For instance, Busola is already in a happy marriage, maybe well loved by her husband, she has discussed with her husband abs she trust him, she cant be compared with a young lady of 20years old from a judgy parents and who lives with people like Nairaland rape apologist monsters, and with friends who would laugh off her like the girls on this thread, with a jealous boyfriend who would call her a harlot immediately.

And when I see female rape apologist, I just smiled and understand na them'' useless females that are even the ones that would make jest of a raped friend, they are the one that have decided to be slaves for their boyfriend and when their friends refuses to be used like a slave, they mock her. This morning, I was still talking to a woman that turned herself to a slave, shes constantly being beaten and maltreated, and she was abusing another lady for not enduring maltreatment saying all men are thesame that whoever she marries would still beat her even more than her prior husband, and thus she's at fault for not enduring.
Sometimes I cry for Nairalanders, people of this mindset are the reasons we have high rape in the country and the reason Africa is backward in everything because their thinking is backward

Gracealone:
Probably that's when people would listen more.

Anyone that believes he has a future should steer clear from rape.

What about the countless victims they could have saved if there was no delay.

Rate of conviction after delay is also much less as there's is usually little evidence to produce.. Mostly its circumstantial lacking merit

What invariably happens is there's significant PR damage..

Something most false accusers know and will use against alleged perpetrators


.

First time someone with sense talk about Rape, all those wey dey talk before na trash dem dey yarn.

ityP:
Unfortunately, justice won't be served if the report is delayed. Except the rapist confesses

Not if we have people that are ready to make Nigeria great again like myself. Justice would be served, may not be now, but some of us will not rest until we help rape victims get justice

tevinsolt:
Today, when you're ready to demand justice.
There shall be no rest, there will be no peace for the wicked.

You don't get it, Sir, you really don't.

Let's say a victim waits ten years to call out a rapist, within that ten years, she has opened the room for the said rapist to rape other girls... (That's one)

Two, if you take him to court in 10 years time, provided you have no evidence just as the current cases we are seeing, it becomes a case of "he said... She said"... Without evidence, a reasonable judge will throw out your case. Now, who loses?

Three, if the alleged rapist decides to sue you for character defamation because you called him out as a rapist without evidence. He will win, now who loses again?

In conclusion, everyone is against rape, all we are saying is, when the rape occurs, GET EVIDENCE, BOTH MEDICAL REPORT AND POLICE REPORT.

I wish one of these alleged rapist will actually take one of his victims to court, then subsequent victims will learn the right thing to do, and not coming on SM years later to make noise or uploading it on their status...

(Although not a rape case, the case of the sisters who accused Davido of impregnating one of them comes to mind. I really wish he didn't back out, I wish he took them to court and really dealt with them. I wish the court asked the ladies to serve jail terms plus pay huge fee as damages to Davido. I just wish... Still don't know why he backed out).

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Whether now or later, they should always speak up anytime, any day.

To the sensible guys who know where they're going in life, pls stay off and face your dreams and goals to avoid story that touch o.

Our success story no go get spoil

#SayNoToRape

abbey621:
Stigmatization will never go away, it's just like saying people should feel no shame for bed wetting, smelling and so on. The point this man made that made the most sense is that by keeping quiet, the rapist could be raping other victims and this is very dangerous. Those victims could have been saved if someone just spoke up in time. Not all hereos wear cape, someone that was rape would be thinking of themselves and they have every right to think that way but as humans if we start thinking of others and see the bigger picture, a lot of messed up things in life would gradually reduce but what do I know, easier said than done

Easier said than done. You are not an emotional being. I don't expect you to understand

ModestGal:
He would be definitely or an apologist, see how Nairalanders are supporting him, this shows how much rapist we have in Nigeria and rapist apologists. And how the society support rape.
If a girl is raped, she has all the right to speak up whenever she feels comfortable, speaking up is not easy for victims depending on their age, friends, confidence, parents or the abuser, there's usually fear, confusion, depression on victims. We are in the process of teaching girls to be able to speak up by supporting them and giving them confidence.
Most of these people speaking up now is because they are grown and matured enough that they already feel so loved and they know they have nothing to loose, and they do not fear people that would judge them. For instance, Busola is already in a happy marriage, maybe well loved by her husband, she has discussed with her husband abs she trust him, she cant be compared with a young lady of 20years old from a judgy parents and who lives with people like Nairaland rape apologist monsters, and with friends who would laugh off her like the girls on this thread, with a jealous boyfriend who would call her a harlot immediately.

And when I see female rape apologist, I just smiled and understand na them'' useless females that are even the ones that would make jest of a raped friend, they are the one that have decided to be slaves for their boyfriend and when their friends refuses to be used like a slave, they mock her. This morning, I was still talking to a woman that turned herself to a slave, shes constantly being beaten and maltreated, and she was abusing another lady for not enduring maltreatment saying all men are thesame that whoever she marries would still beat her even more than her prior husband, and thus she's at fault for not enduring.
Sometimes I cry for Nairalanders, people of this mindset are the reasons we have high rape in the country and the reason Africa is backward in everything because their thinking is backward

Madam please stop venting and let the head rule the heart.


As much as I understand your viewpoint, it has to be understood that with passage of time, Moreso in a society like ours that lack basic materials to provide a deep forensic investigation, the less likely a criminal case can be proven and justice obtained.

The earlier the victim cried out the better....... is what he's trying to put across..



As there are rapists, murderers, there are false accusers likewise.. It's all about trying to get justice done effectively and quickly.

I understand there will be difficult cases due to financial or emotional vulnerability of the victim. This is where resources should be invested to address and provide safe havens or alternate accomodation.



.

..

Now watch how the rich rapist go take like this him post �....lol �

Yampotatocarrot:
You don't get it, Sir, you really don't.

Let's say a victim waits ten years to call out a rapist, within that ten years, she has opened the room for the said rapist to rape other girls... (That's one)

Two, if you take him to court in 10 years time, provided you have no evidence just as the current cases we are seeing, it becomes a case of "he said... She said"... Without evidence, a reasonable judge will throw out your case. Now, who loses?

Three, if the alleged rapist decides to sue you for character defamation because you called him out as a rapist without evidence. He will win, now who loses again?

In conclusion, everyone is against rape, all we are saying is, when the rape occurs, GET EVIDENCE, BOTH MEDICAL REPORT AND POLICE REPORT.

I wish one of these alleged rapist will actually take one of his victims to court, then subsequent victims will learn the right thing to do, and not coming on SM years later to make noise or uploading it on their status...

(Although not a rape case, the case of the sisters who accused Davido of impregnating one of them comes to mind. I really wish he didn't back out, I wish he took them to court and really death with them. I wish the court asked the ladies to serve jail terms plus pay huge fee as damages to Davido. I just wish... Still don't know why he backed out).

well written.

tevinsolt:
Yes you're correct sadly. Reporting to the authorities right away is the best cause of action. But in reality, I have realized that far too many women keep mute because of the stigma. Today technology helps. Forensic science, DNA analysis all helps

Technology won't help a rape case of 10 years ago though. Forensic science, DNA analysis and all only help those who take advantage of these early. I understand the keeping mute because of stigma. But any who keeps mute should keep at the back of her/his mind that speaking years after won't get them justice. The only thing it will get them is sympathy and few hours fame

DonBenny77:
Word!
Dont mind them hoes.
So I invited my new catch and she showed up putting on a mini skirt we were on the bed and she was like "I don't want to do anything oh" with legs wide open revealing panties and crotch" I fingered and we did the does. Later I asked her what's up with the hesitation earlier she was like " so you didn't want to struggle for it"
These girls don craze finish
Sometimes "no" means they don't wanna feel too cheap.
I know when I'm governor tomorrow even the "Mr sweet" ashawo wey I apply small pressure Bleep far back 2006 go call me out.....
No be only d banj and perruzi, call out my broke ass now Bitches!!!

Mr Sweet! One day I go gather mind enter there, even if na just to go chop meat.

Very valid point
Hope Mrs. Dakolo is seeing this

phemmyfour:
Easier said than done. You are not an emotional being. I don't expect you to understand

Delivery of justice is NOT an emotional process either.

Its based on facts and process underpinned by technicalities.

.

DonBenny77:
Word!
Dont mind them hoes.
So I invited my new catch and she showed up putting on a mini skirt we were on the bed and she was like "I don't want to do anything oh" with legs wide open revealing panties and crotch" I fingered and we did the does. Later I asked her what's up with the hesitation earlier she was like " so you didn't want to struggle for it"
These girls don craze finish
Sometimes "no" means they don't wanna feel too cheap.
I know when I'm governor tomorrow even the "Mr sweet" ashawo wey I apply small pressure Bleep far back 2006 go call me out.....
No be only d banj and perruzi, call out my broke ass now Bitches!!!

You are a fool

Real talk mehnnn! As e deh hot�

ModestGal:
Not if we have people that are ready to make Nigeria great again like myself. Justice would be served, may not be now, but some of us will not rest until we help rape victims get justice

Many people are ready to put behind bars those who are accused of rape. Unfortunately, it won't just happen now or in the future. Even if you become a judge today, you can't just wake up and sentence someone like Pastor Fatoyinbo to jail for rape. If you do, an appeal court judge would throw away your verdict the moment he appeals the verdict. Why? He didn't confess to the crime + no substantive evidence to prove he's guilty. Here is why rape victims need to voice out early, or at least run to a hospital, get tests done and keep for future speaking out purposes

Sarang:
You are a fool

And you are a fooler

What do these people smoke? Whether he's rich or poor a rapist should be called out anytime, whenever, wherever and however.
The fact that it happened years ago while he was poor means absolutely nothing.
Are we serious about curbing this menace at all?

MhizJoyce:
I don't have a point, please can you send me one? I really need a point

If shes ready to speak up after 150years, let her speak up. If its after 200years let her speak up.
A girl should be allowed to speak up whenever she feels comfortable.
Its a pity that in the 21st century, we still need to educate Nigerians on this, well we would continue to do that.
There are several types of rape victims, and some ladies would never be raped because of the type of parents, age, maturity, education, skills meanwhile, there are vulnerable people/ladies.
WHY SOME LADIES MAY NOT SPEAK UP
1. Parental factor: Some people have bad parents or let me say judgy parents, they fear their parent so much that they won't be able to voice out for them. Meanwhile, their are even some other people without parents who live with a wicked aunt, uncles, or an old grandmother, grandfather or a sick parent
2. Phobia/self blame: Since we live in a judgy society, many girls would blame themselves for being raped, for instance, maybe a girl that has been warned by her parents not to travel out of her university area, meanwhile out of wanting to have fun, traveled from Ekiti state to Lagos state, and unfortunately, she was raped. This girl would continuously blame herself and thus would not feel confident to report such a rape case
3. Bad friends: Some people really value their friends opinion and not all of us are lucky to have good lovely friends, these kind of people already know how much their friends would make fun of them and thus would choose to keep quiet. These are usually people at their teen age
4.Low IQ: Our IQ naturally differ, some people would be so much consumed with fear that they would not even know its right for them to speak up, especially when the rape is not a brutal one and maybe it takes few minutes
5. Depression: Some people are already in depression, life is meaningless to them, and they would even wish they died at the time of rape because they feel useless and don't even think they have a purpose in life
6.Age: Small children may not even remember to tell their parents, or even during the time they want to tell their parents, their parents would not want to listen, and if the rape is not brutal, they might even forget it and play away
7. Status of Abuser: when abusers are pastors, Imams, Alfas, Teachers and other well respected people in the society, victims may feel she won't be believed or the abuser might lie to her that no one would believe her (which is indeed true if she lives around people like Nairaland rape apologists), this may make the victim not report
8. Sympathy: Some people are extremely sympathetic, especially girls, some victims would beg them and even buy gifts for them, become extremely nice just for the child not to report. These children/ladies are human too and thus might fail to report.
And sometimes, the abuser might be the Ladies girlfriend that she loves so much, and from there feel pity for him and even give excuse for him and thereby keep quiet.
9. A wife: Some people are married, and they would be too afraid to speak out of a rape case, especially when its a church that her husband has warned her not to attend, or a friend her husband doesn't like or she fears to loose her husband/boyfriend
10. Poverty: Poor people are naturally weak to speak out when cheated

In all these situations, it is no reason for a female to keep quiet whenever she feels confident and comfortable to talk. A lady should speak up no matter how long the incidence has taken place because as she speaks out, she would be healed no matter how little..
Its like getting robbed and seeing the theif but you are told that because its a long time ago, you should forget it
Many of you males apologist, have you ever asked your mothers if she was raped before?

If you are a girl reading this and you are in this shoe, please know that it is okay to keep quiet till you are comfortable, don't go and force yourself to speak that the shame would make you commit suicide. Make sure its a time you are comfortable with and you are around lovely people who would understand you. Reach out for help and stay close with positive people. Gain your confidence by reading survivor stories like Opra Winifred, etc. Read stories like R Kelly stories and gain your happiness by the fact that he would rot in jail and justice was served. Understand that its not your fault but the fact that you are a Nigerian, with many apologist monsters in our society.
Whether it's a physically painful rape or not, whether its 5minites or 5hours, so far you said NO and he forced you made it a CRIME and you are right in all ways, stop blaming yourself and walk towards recovery and healing.

It's a question of choice to decide which person who raped you is worth pursuing. Besides it is embarrassing to say a truck pusher raped you when others are holding on to millionaires from whom sth might give

Tedpgrass:
Delivery of justice is NOT an emotional process either.

Its based on facts and process underpinned by technicalities.

.

You won't understand, not even justice will put an end to the trauma they went through

Though it can be quite difficult to report immediately esp when the victim is less privileged (most cases in Nigeria) in the society, it is very true to cry out on time. Remember if reported on time u save a life in future and the chances of the rapist even becoming successful in future becomes low.

Wise talk “barman”

When they have chop fufu

Na dem go rape, Na dem go dictate when it is convinient for victim to speak out. Yes, it's better to speak up immediately but we also understand the state of mind of a victim when she makes other choices.

Stop rape. Stop being rape apologists. If you have never forced a woman, you have nothing to be afraid of. The truth will prevail always ... even if it takes years and years. No means No. Stop means Stop. Sex with underage is not consensual. Control your urges. Yes, a woman is not a toy or an Object to be used for your amusement. Sex is only good when both parties are of legal age, willing and able to deal with the consequences.

Sterope:
This one is clearly mad! Coming from a club owner in Nigeria, I won't be surprised if he is one of them.

He made a valid point. It will be alot easier for police to do their work if it's reported immediately, than after many years.

He's right, delay is dangerous