₦airaland Forum

kolade560:
I learnt desperate ladies have upgraded to using charms and magic to trap men this days, guys if una like make una no careful....

It’s called total package

Pray it doesn't come.

McBrooklyn:
No experience..

Prettyvirginia:
Damn right sis. I get these kind of pressures a lot too. Heaven knows I'm not ready to marry till I'm 24. I have actually learnt to live the pressures

Yeah pretty you will have pressure...

Raalsalghul:
Marrying that lady might be one of the biggest mistakes in his life: let's not be sentimental please.

Dude made a wise decision.

Sometimes we think even the Earth we live in doesn't run on sentiments.

BabaJoe001:
I read all the stories on here. And I had to pity the ladies Stop being desperate! Men will never respect you if you are . It doesn't matter whether you are 30 or anything. Those that married in their early 20s are regretting and wished they had chilled down a bit. Because their dreams and freedom are taken away from them seems you don't know that marriage is a bondage. I have a lady that married at 24 got divorced at 32 and said she will never marry again. She has 3 kids already. She said the biggest mistake she made was getting married early. Now she is the happiest woman in the world. Raising her kids if you like Call her a single mother, that's your headache. She is a happy single Mother. living well.. no troubles....Men came for marriage she chased all of them away.. all of them well to do. They will be begging. Because this lady is very responsible.. she has found her voice and found meaning in life within 3 years. But she will tell me she doesn't need Men anymore . The reason why those still married cant leave is because it's their husbands that feeds them. They are scared to leave. am a Man, but I can tell you Most Men are useless. A man go show you love but once u are married, then he changes.. he will be telling you what do you want again.. you are eating .. he is paying bills ..as if that's all marriage is made for
Well thats a topic for another day. so back to our "desperate" ladies ..please it's Rubbish. Don't be desperate.. look for money... Get a skill. Then you will be amazed it's Men that will come to propose. The only beautiful thing I see in marriage is children.. others na scam.. Because Men go show their colour.

You are not a man biko. You be something else.
There are bad men and bad women everywhere. It is never a gender thing bro.

I can relate

ProphetofOdin:
Yes. it was a terrible experience and she even tried to trap me with a pregnancy. But I was just not ready for all that.

Raydos:
Well I have no experience, But my Sister Is going through this right now, She was a Very pretty girl back then in School to the extent almost every guy want a piece of her, But she turned them all down!!

There was even one brilliant guy that really loved her so much that He even went as far as Writing Exam for her, Imagine taking that risk for a lady?? He doesn't even care if he get caught and get rusticated! He loved .y sister so much

But upon all these, My sister still turned him down, The reason For this is not farfetched, She was a very Pretty girl and she feel she can settle down anytime she want, She think guys will always want her cos of there pretty face!!

Fast forward to 7 years later, She's not Yet married now, Depression Has finished her, She couldn't celebrate her 34th birthday last year, instead she just Stay indoors and cry all day!!

I really feel bad seeing her cry, It moved me to tears, She's isn't as attractive As she was when she was 25!!

am happy for your sister, it serve her right. that will serve as lesson to other pretty gurls outside

DominusPrime:
I have met a few and right now I don't go near any girl close to 27 anymore. I use style discharge all of them cos when the desperation for marriage sets in ehn...

Laslas it's a man's world. From all the stories out there its obvious there are more ladies desperate for marriage than men. Its understandable though. At 40 a man is still fit and if he's doing well financially he will even look better with age. But for most ladies by 27 to 30 you go just weak for wetin you dey see coupled with the fact younger girls are coming up every day. The competition gets hotter for the older ladies.

Okay.

Lamanii22:
Are girls that desperate to get married Girls! Y'all needa work harder and smarter, that guy will come for you....

Lies!

Falling in such desperados will result to you hating the institution of marriage. If you must succumb her pressure then marry her via leather bag so that it wouldn't be late for you to run for your life.

CsRockefeller:
Sir, please marry that Lady, I tell you, God will continue to shower his blessings upon you, you will prosper and sour like an Eagle.

Almost same scenario with my Dad and till today, he never lacks.

That guy story touch me die

CsRockefeller:
Sometimes we think even the Earth we live in doesn't run on sentiments.

In my opinion, the guy has tried enough.

He trained her in school, she should be grateful and pick up from there.

It's one thing to go into a building and the fire comes later. That is not the case here.

He would be jumping into the fire directly in this case.

My take: the guy was smart.

WELL! It happened to me and i fell for it bcus i love her even when i wasnt ready then. Today we thank GOD!

Must you paint women bad to drive traffic to your blog?

Can't you write a story that paints women in good light to drive traffic to your blog??

Xj2020

mikolo80:
why USD called desperation They can't help themselves

Am not judging anyone at least do it codedly .Don't beg outrightly. Rather make yourself irresistible

ravensckar:
Honestly, when I read one-sided write ups like these, I feel appalled. Ain't there two sides to a coin any more? The so-called 'desperation' from ladies may not always be what you think. It could be a way of saying their own mind is made up. They have no more time to waste.

Now, let me shock you with my own story. When I met the lady I'm married to today, she told me straight up that she's not in for any long term relationship. She's almost done with school and that if the relationship won't lead to marriage, I should jejely excuse her. Me being the 'guyman' that I was then, I wanted to chop and clean mouth. I sha played along with the intent to chop until I'm full. Now, therein lies my confusion; the said lady in question was everything I wanted in a woman (beautiful, educated, well behaved, God-fearing and highly industrious). But I have just one problem; I wasn't ready for marriage. Money no dey, even the job I was doing then, salary was around 70K.


She sha encouraged me that we should pull our resources together and that we'll survive. Long story cut short, I decided to give it a shot. After all, person wey dey ground no get anywhere to fall to. We got married in less than 4 months of dating. When I mean married, I mean a proper and elaborate wedding. Brethrens, today we're still together. Yes, she's not perfect just like I'm not as well, but we are still happily married.

It was later I understood the reason for her 'desperation'. She had wasted too much time dating some Bleep boys, hence, she felt she has no more time to waste. To her, if it's not going to lead to marriage, then, she shouldn't even venture into it. What we guys see as 'desperation' to some ladies, it's called making up their mind.

USD desperation
Just at earlier age

pocohantas:
I can bet all these guys forming their girls were desperate are in their 20s.

There is really no desperate woman, there is a woman dating a man who is not READY!

Let these guys get to 33, their tone will change. Na today we start to see them.

What is it with you and 33 self?

luminouz:
You are not a man biko. You be something else.
There are bad men and bad women everywhere. It is never a gender thing bro.

Don't mind that lady disguising as a man.

Klass99:
I don't know why most men assume that some of us are still single and miserable, because we turned down their marriage proposal and if we hadn't done that, we would be married and happy today. Smh and lol As if they can see into the future or as if marriage guarantees happiness.

Right after uni, a man 10 years older than me wanted us to get married and proposed. I told him I'm not ready for marriage I want to finish youth service, find honest work to do for a living, before I consider marriage.

As a young girl who loved reading fiction novels like The Women's Murder Club, Agatha Christie, Nancy Drew and watching movies like L.A Law, Return to Eden etc. My mind was exposed to a world of possibilities, of what I could do as a single woman.

I loved all these books/movies, because the female characters were always depicted as responsible, law abiding, well adjusted adults with jobs and flats of their own, paying their own bills and I wanted that sort of life for myself, so when he proposed marriage the mental images of a wedding, pregnancy, children weren't aligning with what was in my heart/head.

Do I regret turning down his proposal or subsequent ones? No, I don't. Because I like where my life is at and the freedom that comes with being single. Singleness is a gift and a blessing, when managed appropriately and effectively. There's freedom, time and energy to do things like seek God, develop skills/talents, go back to school if you want to etc

I think a lot of women don't know or understand this, which explains the desperation I see men describing on this thread. But I speak as a woman who doesn't want children, so I can't relate to this over 30, biological clock ticking, I must marry last year thingy.

go girl, anytime you're ready, just go for it. Its not worth it except you're with the right person.

BabaJoe001:
I read all the stories on here. And I had to pity the ladies Stop being desperate! Men will never respect you if you are . It doesn't matter whether you are 30 or anything. Those that married in their early 20s are regretting and wished they had chilled down a bit. Because their dreams and freedom are taken away from them seems you don't know that marriage is a bondage. I have a lady that married at 24 got divorced at 32 and said she will never marry again. She has 3 kids already. She said the biggest mistake she made was getting married early. Now she is the happiest woman in the world. Raising her kids if you like Call her a single mother, that's your headache. She is a happy single Mother. living well.. no troubles....Men came for marriage she chased all of them away.. all of them well to do. They will be begging. Because this lady is very responsible.. she has found her voice and found meaning in life within 3 years. But she will tell me she doesn't need Men anymore . The reason why those still married cant leave is because it's their husbands that feeds them. They are scared to leave. am a Man, but I can tell you Most Men are useless. A man go show you love but once u are married, then he changes.. he will be telling you what do you want again.. you are eating .. he is paying bills ..as if that's all marriage is made for
Well thats a topic for another day. so back to our "desperate" ladies ..please it's Rubbish. Don't be desperate.. look for money... Get a skill. Then you will be amazed it's Men that will come to propose. The only beautiful thing I see in marriage is children.. others na scam.. Because Men go show their colour.

So true
when you are dependent they start thinking u ave no choice

Xj2020:
Yes. In my own case she deliberately got pregnant for me and I had no choice than to marry her thinking it was right thing to do. See my story below https://www.nairaland.com/5922955/how-cope-ill-mannered-housewife

If you are good you are good, and if you are bad you are bad. You might hide your bad side for a while. However, it is only a matter of time before everything would come out to the open. The Big Brother Show is a perfect example.
My story is that of a young chap that fell in love and got married to the women of his supposedly dream with kids. From day one till date, my beloved wife has been anything but a good housewife. She doesn't give me peace of mind. Always looking for ways to provoke me.
My wife isn't submissive. She is abusive and unappreciative of all I have done and have been doing for her and the children. This is even though the financial burden of the house has been mine 100% from the beginning to date. This is a woman that does not want to do any kind of work if it is not a government job. I have provided her with everything she asked for and even those things she didn't ask for. This woman has never lacked anything in my house to date
My beloved wife insults me in the presence of our kids. Mind you, I don't smoke, drink, and womanize. Neither have I laid my hands on her or intend on laying my hands on her. This is a woman I help with house chores like sweeping, washing the bathroom and toilets, and mobbing the house at my leisure time.
This woman has taken sides against in the time past when I had a misunderstanding with some persons outside. This woman isn't scared to insult my parents every time we have a misunderstanding. My mother-in-law isn't helping matter as she has continued to instigate her daughter against me.
I have finally decided to move out of the house for the now and see how things play out. If things don't improve, then I would have no choice than to seek divorce. Notwithstanding, the children would continue to be my responsibility.
Mature advice would be highly appreciated.

Any matured advice would be highly appreciated from the house.
.

Well, have you talked with your wife and point to her all she has done? Like talk face to face, as husband and wife?
Have you asked her if there's anything you're doing that she doesn't want and that makes her behave the way she's doing?

I'd say I have only read one side of the story; I am sure she'll say one or two things.

Other than this, talk to her face to face, like a man, before you divorce her. Let her know how her actions make you feel. Let her know you are not happy and you want your family back, and you want her to do her part. If she doesn't change, please decide what's best for you.

streamsofjoy:
I wish ladies will see all these stories and learn. Of course there are also stories of men desperate to be married for one reason or the other, but na our own plenty pass. See the way men talk about women any how cos of the attitude of some of us. Las las na we dey make men treat any woman dem see without respect and dignity. I wish we can just repackage ourselves. The sentimental talk of "they have sister, mother and daughter" no dey enter men again

Babe, on behalf of most niggas in the building including me, we love women, we love women so much that we could give our Kingdom and generation for their sake. Adam did it, Samson did, but after personal experiences, it will be an aberration to repeat the mistakes of our forefathers and thus we are wisening up. We are now wise as a serpent and humble like a dove. As a woman, this century is the best to marry. As years turn into decades, if women continue to be leeches, NFAs, and see men as a meal ticket and a means to affluent lives they can't afford, their worth will be practically and even legally relegated.
See Kim & Kanye signed a pre-nuptal agreement, you misbehave and divorce me, you get no penny out of the divorce. See how Kim, that many girls model their lives after helped organized Kanye's life. Kanye is a billionaire now. Check the screen goddess Mercy Johnson, four children from her after 6 years, she is enjoying her marriage. Mercy is a woman many girls wanted to be like before marriage. Therefore, from this analysis, it can be deduced that any girl can become what they were originally created to be , no matter their exposure, if they CHOOSE to. Howbeit, how many girls are willing to become a REAL helper they were created to be? ln Nigeria, just few!!!

Raydos:
Well I have no experience, But my Sister Is going through this right now, She was a Very pretty girl back then in School to the extent almost every guy want a piece of her, But she turned them all down!!

There was even one brilliant guy that really loved her so much that He even went as far as Writing Exam for her, Imagine taking that risk for a lady?? He doesn't even care if he get caught and get rusticated! He loved .y sister so much

But upon all these, My sister still turned him down, The reason For this is not farfetched, She was a very Pretty girl and she feel she can settle down anytime she want, She think guys will always want her cos of there pretty face!!

Fast forward to 7 years later, She's not Yet married now, Depression Has finished her, She couldn't celebrate her 34th birthday last year, instead she just Stay indoors and cry all day!!

I really feel bad seeing her cry, It moved me to tears, She's isn't as attractive As she was when she was 25!!

Why you dey like naw?
Who force you to write this long epistle?

KevinDein:
It's not unusual for young ladies (20s) to have multiple suitors because that's when they are at the peak of their sexual market value (SMV). The issue here is that women's hypergamous nature gets the better of them. They think these interests are gonna last a life time and they keep holding out for the best option.

A decade later, in their 30s with low SMV, the interests drastically nose dive and they'll probably only get approaches from low value males hence the desperation they show when they meet any man that's half decent. You'll find most of the guys that post on this thread were actually involved with older women.

It's not uncommon.

TRUE

Raalsalghul:
What is it with you and 33 self?

Random number o. Think 33 beer.

maduka87:
Chai I really feel for her is not that easy at that age God will see her through, my own sister married at the age 37 though no child yet but is. Well

feel for her ontop everything she did?na only few things her brother fit narrate be this ooo, what about the one her brother no dey aware?what about the guy that was rusticated in school ?you th ink if the guy curse am ....what about some guys she must have chop their money in the process of dating her?you no feel anything for guy wey rusticated for school abi?

DominusPrime:
I tell you my man!!! Although some are blameless for not being married at 30. But if you look around it's mostly cos these girls see fantasies on social media and will not settle for less.

social media has done a lot of damage, it gave girls an over bloated sense of self worth. It's not bad to have a positive or healthy image but when It gets pretty ugly is when you presume it to be more than it's actually worth. They miscontrue the attention they get on social to be a true representative of what their life really is, so they always feel they can always get someone better than the person they are actually dating, na for 30's their eyes dey clear because men will always go for young girls. Women in their 30's do marry, but exceptions do not make the rule. Women need to be smart o.

Blackmann001:
Mine is different ooo... Just to date her, sh took me to a lab for HIV, hypatitis, blood sugar, genotype and other STDs....

Guyz line up for this lady door all kneeling for her attention. Instead of shakara wey I dey read here by the guy, I am being hopeful sh says yes sef...... Sh dates me alone ooo... But rivals of docs, pharmacist, working abroad, etc full road....

Na me dey even remind her of us and settling down, sh is 26 ND very pricy cuz sh did her own job on time.. Intelligent, beutiful, tall, speaks fine, works hard both domestically and at work place. Earns enough.

Na God hand we dey for her matter!

Na God hand you dey for her matter o

luminouz:
You are not a man biko. You be something else.
There are bad men and bad women everywhere. It is never a gender thing bro.

Truth is bitter bro..I know. Just deal with it.

BabaJoe001:
Truth is bitter bro..I know. Just deal with it.

Truth? From your circle of influence maybe.

I have men who took care of their wives and were never useless.

Who have you been relating with?

lenghtinny:
Well life happens.....

But first of all, you guys should stop thinking it’s her beauty that’s affecting her chances...

When the time is right, marriage will happen. I for one believes marriage is not something worth getting depressed over.

You dey believe that one yeye lie?