₦airaland Forum

nkwuocha1:
My problems with this argument is not that they went with their mother.No! It's the fact that they want the new husband to take up all the financial responsibilities to that effect.She may go with the kids,But it's more of her responsibility and that of the kids paternal side as well as her own side to help in raising the kids.One can't impose financial responsibilities on a man that didn't birth your kids, for what?!?

Romangalactic:
I finally understand what Mariangeles meant when she said children belong to their fathers. They really should be left with him or his family

Mariangeles:
Apparently, it's my turn today...

Mariangeles:
Apparently, it's my turn today...

nkwuocha1:
Simple!As long as the bride price is paid.
God forbid it!If my inlaw happens to remarry, she is going nowhere with my brother's kids. NOWHERE!If she must, the day the step dad raises his hands on my nephew or niece, I'm very sure I will spend time in jail.

pocohantas:
Oh, I get you now. So, a man doesn’t owe his step kids financial support or rather, he shouldn’t be forced to do it. I quite agree with this. Would we also understand with women who say they don’t owe their step-kids support? Or do we call them wicked stepmothers?

While you have a strong point, we should also understand it is not this easy in the real world. I don’t think anyone would be happy being in a marriage with someone who draws the line in how they treat the step-kids. Not like it is compulsory to even re(marry).

nkwuocha1:
In the case of the woman,in our traditional society a woman have limited say.Trust me,it's not equity at play here but it is how it is.A woman married into a family is expected to take care of all she met there,maybe not financially BUT don't maltreat them.Its only natural for the woman to love her kids more,it's human nature even for both sex.

Contrary to what is being reported in the media,few times I have witnessed women who love their step kids. Infact, a lawyer in my former abode almost stripped a teacher for flogging her step-daugther.

Another woman forced her husband to find his lost daughter of over 30 years.This woman singlehandedly,with the help of her brother in law traced this girl.They met her at the brink of committing suicide.

So, if a woman comes into a family with step kids already, you're not forced to provide.But don't maltreat them.

nkwuocha1:
In the case of the woman,in our traditional society a woman have limited say.Trust me,it's not equity at play here but it is how it is.A woman married into a family is expected to take care of all she met there,maybe not financially BUT don't maltreat them.Its only natural for the woman to love her kids more,it's human nature even for both sex.

Contrary to what is being reported in the media,few times I have witnessed women who love their step kids. Infact, a lawyer in my former abode almost stripped a teacher for flogging her step-daugther.

Another woman forced her husband to find his lost daughter of over 30 years.This woman singlehandedly,with the help of her brother in law traced this girl.They met her at the brink of committing suicide.

So, if a woman comes into a family with step kids already, you're not forced to provide.But don't maltreat them.

nkwuocha1:
My problems with this argument is not that they went with their mother.No! It's the fact that they want the new husband to take up all the financial responsibilities to that effect.She may go with the kids,But it's more of her responsibility and that of the kids paternal side as well as her own side to help in raising the kids.One can't impose financial responsibilities on a man that didn't birth your kids, for what?!?

Romangalactic:
Your turn how? Didn't I tell you that I started crushing on you after our short argument on my thread, and you type in Spanish sometimes. It's sexy.

Romangalactic:
Your turn how? Didn't I tell you that I started crushing on you after our short argument on my thread, and you type in Spanish sometimes. It's sexy.

pocohantas:
Okay, I get it.

Man has say, woman has no say.

Alright then, we won’t force the man to provide financial support. Not like I has such plans.

Romangalactic:
Marian geles, I am not donstan18. Take note please

chaotik:
This nuisance has no sense of comprehension. ... where was it stated that the new man should take all financial responsibility. ... have u thought of it has girl child that needs motherly guidance into adulthood and the father still pays child's support but stays with the mother and step father ....
Worse off ... what if the said step father is a toy boy that moves in with them ....
Open ur mind u myopic basted

cococandy:
Ah got it.

Woman? = no say. She expected to take care of all.

Man? = nah. He’s not obliged to.

pocohantas:
[s]Not forgetting your signature move of trying to befriend some people when the heat is on you. Everyone needs love after all...You need to always have someone to quote when you enter a thread you have nothing to contribute to, except instigate trouble.

Your two accounts are on ban, you didn’t wanna look defeated by opening a third. What do you do? Fall back to your alternate. Your bitterness and pettiness has this strong odour, no one can ever beat you to it. Maybe Saucecode.[/s]

Rozz:
.

cococandy:
If the new husband wants the woman and her children, what are you people fighting about?

Romangalactic:
False accusation is against the rules. You can use my personal life with my fiancee to insult me all you want but don't accuse me of being someone else. Thank you

pocohantas:
Sorry about that. You have a point, but I believe minors should be left with their mothers, all things being equal. We have seen so many cases where men dragged these kids, only to go dump them with their mothers in the village or an aunty.

cococandy:
If the new husband wants the woman and her children, what are you people fighting about?

JONNYSPUTE:
..... Not in all cases but I must agree with you on the issue of dumping them with their mum in the village.Which is very unfair to the child.

If there's an issue between a man and a woman and the woman wants to remarry not putting into consideration that the child she had with the first man is still tender,and the man ie the first husband is able and willing to take care of the child by himself.

The court will either ask the woman,to shelve anything about remarrying until the child comes of age or better still give the child to his father.

The only circumstance the court will allow the woman go ahead and remarry with the child in her possession is if the first husband is very irresponsible and she must prove it to the court.

The issue of kids must stay with the mother is based on the circumstance.

Romangalactic:
I admire your spirit brother

nkwuocha1:
There's nothing wrong in marrying Nigeria man twice,plenty dey wey get proper sense.

As you see me so, if (God forbid!), I end up with no wife and choose to remarry.I will never marry a fertile woman.I will go for a single woman in her mid forties.First,I need a companion as a wife in my old age,and a mother to my kids, But if her God make me give her belle.Good!It's her luck,and I'm sure her happiness will overshadow my skepticism.And if she didn't take in and wants a child, I will have to adopt preferably female so that she will be happy.It would definitely be sad times for her when all the step kids are grown and the house is empty.

nkwuocha1:
No!

She should take them back to the sperm that formed them in the first place,or forget about the marriage altogether.

pocohantas:
Of course I know it is based on circumstance, that is why I added “all things being equal”. If every other factor is in place, minors should be with their mothers. Most times I have seen men take kids, they dump them with an elderly female relative. Meaning they know women will do better with caregiving, so why take the child away from the mother (a woman too)? It is all spite.

In all this separation/divorce wahala, parents need to put aside their issues and understand the kids are the major victims. Whatever is best for the kids should be done.

As for remarrying, I no fit o. I no fit marry Nigerian man twice. Once it is on record that I have once been married, we move.

thesicilian:
It is the responsibility of a mother to take care of her children where the father's not in the picture and the stepfather does not want to. I also feel it is an irresponsible and overly desperate mother that would marry a man who does not want to accept her children from a previous marriage.

nkwuocha1:
These are things that tears family apart. Kids growing in environment that is questionable.The only thing I can do is for them to go on hols once a while to see their mom,step siblings and step dad.So every go get their respect. See finish no go dey...morale go dey intact.They grow up with love from both sides because the foundation started with not being thoroughly a burden on a particular side... Simple.

No be say pikin go stay step father side as if he no get where him come from.Na that kind thing dey cause many psychological ills for adults when them mature.

nkwuocha1:
These are things that tears family apart. Kids growing in environment that is questionable.The only thing I can do is for them to go on hols once a while to see their mom,step siblings and step dad.So every go get their respect. See finish no go dey...morale go dey intact.They grow up with love from both sides because the foundation started with not being thoroughly a burden on a particular side... Simple.

No be say pikin go stay step father side as if he no get where him come from.Na that kind thing dey cause many psychological ills for adults when them mature.