₦airaland Forum

wait are you not the man here?.. dont you have a mother? or even a father or relative? since they have involved their own family members involve urs so u cn take back your children atleast dat is more important

Do not involve Nigetian Police oooo


I pray your wife will not repeat the mistake of her mother.

Youe marriage issues would be better managed in the absence of a 3rd party.

Dont count whatever you do for a Woman as an investment in order to avoid heart failure disease.

Praywrfully engage other members of your wife family. Dont be surprised the single mother may not be happy that her daughter has a good home. Of course the joy of your family is only for you, wife and children. Dont share it with a third party.

If you need and want to assist the mother on transformation, get an apartment for her. Dont allow 3rd party to stay with you for too long.

Also, you still need to win youe wife to your side. Build on mutual trust, confidece, respect and needs.

You home shall not scatter in Jesus name. Satan target to scatter in order to deal with the destinies of the children.

With love and not revenge, go to her family and convince them you did not do what is charged against. I am sure God in His infinity mercy will give you marital victories.

By the grace of almighty God and the leading of the Holy Spirit my marriage is 7 years old. I have gone through alot and i have learnt a lot. My focus has been to protect the mutual interest of my family. To achieve this have ensured that nobody even my own family and wife family have right to dictate to us unduly. It is difficult but we thank for the benefit we get from such marital policy.

Satan shall prevail over your home in Jesus name, Amen.

Please my brother do not revenge, but loving take back your rights.

IT IS WELL. AMEN

if I were you, although blinded by love.. Firstly I'll consult her family probably with a police.. although this is a domestic case so police will not do much but only tell you to go and settle yourself within the Family.. The reason you've to involve the police is to let her know you're ready to take it up, just a threat..
Secondly, make plans with her about how you'll be taking care of your children, Don't beg her to come back, don't be weak..if you're strong enough and you stopped pursuing her, she'll come back for sure.. 2 children no be beans..at last, she'll argue with her mom and come back to you.. just chill

I think the problem comes from ur mother in-law. She has poison ur wife mind towards you .
The single mothers always ruin their daughter's home due to whatever reasons best known to them .
I have many instances of those who marries from single mother. 80% of marriage of a lady from single home collapse . mother in-law always like to be in control.
Report the case to police then find a way out from the problem by consulting headers in ur both family( ur family and ur in-law). Pls don't go to ur mother in-law for the settlement.

mankettle:
My advise may seem harsh, but once a lady starts leaving the home for weeks over any excuse she isn't ready to build the relationship again. If they want to sue you, what for, no be divorce, and so?
The court wouldn't say u shouldn't see your kids. In fact, the court will want u to play an important role in their life like school fees upkeep etc. Since she has left, just call her and ask for an account for you to be sending some token for your children's feeding and upkeep. And tell her whenever they are ill, she should tell u so u can take dem or pay for hospital bills. School fees know the school so u can pay.
Ps na so divorce life easy?

For what? Why will he be giving money to her for upkeep ? If she has the audacity to take the kids away, then she she should be able to cater for them

FuckTheWorld:
... My name is Stanley(not real names)...
Your name is Stanley yet not real name ...
Do you have brain at all?

Is the name the problem? Someone has family issues and you are talking about name

Martinez39s:
Why don't you say it's better not to get married at all than get married to a bad spouse? Oh, your feminine duplicitousness won't take marriage off the table for obvious reasons.

Bro you really need to clear all these caches and history on your mind, why will a normal person anticipate a lonely life, returning home to an empty house daily or a PS5 no be life.
Car is gud & beautifull, it as killed lots of people buh we all still desire to have one or buy more ... feminine duplicitousness is not even what fosters marriage rather think of it as a command programmed into humans. women are bad does it mean are better. we all are same same managing each others weaknesses afterall no one is perfect jare.

Do your investigation properly before marriage. Love is one side of the triangle. Compatibility is the other side. The base is the history of both of you. You wife was raised by her mother, she probably doesn't see the need to include you in raising her daughters. I'm sure if not for financial provision, she would have left you long time ago.

My advice: forget police, contact her family if they have any influence on her and her mother. Start looking for another relationship. Check the history very well this time around

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

Just make sure that those kids are yours, then reach out to the elders and if it did not work then relax don't call nor text again. Send money for upkeep to her account then relax. Someone is really talking to her and if she didn't see you begging her for 2-4 Month ; she will definitely come back with another quarrel

Did you marry her properly, as in paying the dowry and concluding every other marriage rights

ogawisdom:
First mistake never never marry a girl raised by a single mother. She saw what her mother went through bc of men and u will pay for it. She was raised to hate men. Her mother hates men bc of her failed relationship with them.

Second mistake how can you apologize when u are not guilty. I kw u are guilty Sha.

Since u are guilty and have apologize then u have to go and report to whoever gave her hand in marriage to you may be he can help resolve the matter.

No need for police, your children are with their mother and they are safe. No crime that needs police involvement except u want to waste your money.

Always avoid single mothers and their children when u want a serious relationship

Best comment so far. I fled from my ex when when I discovered her mum was a single mother....to make it worse....the day I went to her house, j overheard the Mum trash talking men. Damn, I just pinched myself and imagined the devil I was about to settle with....naso I take end the relationship but she didn't know it was the reason... Thankfully I had a genuine reason that ended it. Ladies raised by single mums are time bombs. They have been conditioned to hate me, have no regard or respect for men. Very terrible mindset

jornwhite:
Bro you really need to clear all these caches and history on your mind, why will a normal person anticipate a lonely life, returning home to an empty house daily or a PS5 no be life.
Car is gud & beautifull, it as killed lots of people buh we all still desire to have one or buy more ... feminine duplicitousness is not even what fosters marriage rather think of it as a command programmed into humans. women are bad does it mean are better. we all are same same managing each others weaknesses afterall no one is perfect jare.

Shut up.

seanwilliam:
good and in addition to this, @OP in any situation you find yourself... avoid see finish ... no matter how, avoid seee finish

Can you please explain what you mean by see finish....I don't get

Go and look for ur kids first,u can settle scores later.

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

Hi

NEVER I MEAN NEVER marry from a single mother without any reasonable meaning for being a single mother.
Report the matter to the nearest police station immediately.
There's a saying that says that ' marrying a bag lady is not as bad as marrying from a bad parents'

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

Op, d mistake you made in my own angle was to allow her mother to live with you cos I think her mother has a great influence on your wife from d money your wife' 60% salary spends on her...

My own is jus sit down and watch d game and tell ur friends and pastors dat are close to you for advise...she MIGHT come back.

simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused

I am not against any child who came from a single parenting. It is not thier fault.
But I am always afraid of any lady who was brought up by her mum alone because of divorce or separation. Most times their mum usually sow evil seed in them and such mothers also try to control their children's marriage and other opposite sex relationships.

God have mercy on you

Sixfeetbelle:
Four years into the marriage and you already cheated?

Let me not say what's on my mind

He didn't say he cheated. Rather he apologized for cheating

Iamundisputed:
Indeed... Did you not notice that our "friend" mentioned twice he had been seen "flirting" with a woman? Half truth is worse than a lie... I can read between the lines.

Go and borrow sense

libertyfather:
If you enjoying it then you are lucky, many people are regretting it and seriously looking for a way out

I am not married yet bro

DontBullshitMe:
Weak men everywhere.

You are a very weak man.

The strong and powerful buhari we all clamour for where has he take us to?
Bros in marriage u don't need to be strong but wise.

I'm sorry for whatever you are going through. Even though I don't know half of the story but as a man I think you messed up. In the first place you shouldn't have allowed your mother in-law move in with you. Thats always going to be a problem for you cause obviously you should know your stuck between mother and child. Deed has been done. Call your family members, let them know what's happening then you can know what next. Lesson of the day: family consist of father, mother and their children

hardbody:
All of these ontop woman I married and kept in my house? Not saying you should do this but if it's me, she will come back and become a second wife. Another lady will welcome her. Nonesense and ingredients.

I was gonna reply you constructively, then I read your signature. Ah! Of course.

---

Obynolee:
Too much of Zeeworld at work, she didn't talk things out with her husband, involved her family and left the house, mother In-law calling threatening the husband with a law suit and you are talking this crab. Do not start something you can't finish or sustain with a Nigerian woman,their reasoning no be here,be the man,set the terms and stop at nothing in asserting your authority or your name is sorry.

Do you realize that OP and the wife actually truly loved each other before they agreed to get married? Don't you think he should attempt to restore her sanity with maturity on his own part instead of forming hard man and ruining his married because of "anger"? Some of you forming Red Pill. You think you can reason with a woman who is being unreasonable when you are also unreasonable?

Crab ko Crayfish ni

hotspec:
thst ur second paragraph really make sense. I remeber d mother in law yabbing me one day dt if my wife has blissful home, fine, anfif she fails to have it then no qualms..... in Yoruba... to Ba ni ibujoko Ayo, oni niyen, Ti KO Ba De ni, KO ni naa niyen

My brothers don't allow love blind una eye. You can't be from a functional family and marry someone from a dysfunctional family

highbee02:
I'm in a similar situation, my wife even told me that I'm not the biological father of the 2 kids. The problem started when her mother came visiting when "we" had our first child. Her mother gave her a local sponge, black soap, a 5 litre liquid substance and other fetish items. Eventually, my wife was caught taking a spiritual bath right inside my sitting room. I don't even know the whereabouts of the kids and the wife in Ibadan, she didn't go to her family house at Barika and no money for DNA

My next wife must NOT come from Ibadan

Sorry bro but I had to laugh at this your last line

Dont beg her again leave her alone when she is tired she will come back

If u don't manage this development well, you will end up a zombie for the rest of your married life to your 'men-are-scum' inspired wife.

Take some chill pills!
Ensure your kids are okay but never appear anxious about them!
Then ignore the renegades

Mypeople2:
For what? Why will he be giving money to her for upkeep ? If she has the audacity to take the kids away, then she she should be able to cater for them

Not to her, his children. A man must take care of the children no matter what

Mypeople2:
Is the name the problem? Someone has family issues and you are talking about name

That has problems.

DontBullshitMe:
Weak men everywhere.

You are a very weak man.

Because he doesn't want a broken home makes him weak?

He doesn't owe the mother in-law any faden. The woman who could not fix her daughter's home doesn't require any compassion, well that's if what the OP is saying is true, because, you know, people always tell stories to paint themselves good/blameless or from their own perspective only. Another thing is, if you the man is providing close to 100% at home, why would you allow your in-law to live with you? It's more like 1 against 2 in all ramification. That era is long gone when in-laws turn men to Source Fund. If you can, by all means do, but if you can't, hell no!

SOJOSEPH:
Do not involve Nigetian Police oooo


I pray your wife will not repeat the mistake of her mother.

Youe marriage issues would be better managed in the absence of a 3rd party.

Dont count whatever you do for a Woman as an investment in order to avoid heart failure disease.

Praywrfully engage other members of your wife family. Dont be surprised the single mother may not be happy that her daughter has a good home. Of course the joy of your family is only for you, wife and children. Dont share it with a third party.

If you need and want to assist the mother on transformation, get an apartment for her. Dont allow 3rd party to stay with you for too long.

Also, you still need to win youe wife to your side. Build on mutual trust, confidece, respect and needs.

You home shall not scatter in Jesus name. Satan target to scatter in order to deal with the destinies of the children.

With love and not revenge, go to her family and convince them you did not do what is charged against. I am sure God in His infinity mercy will give you marital victories.

By the grace of almighty God and the leading of the Holy Spirit my marriage is 7 years old. I have gone through alot and i have learnt a lot. My focus has been to protect the mutual interest of my family. To achieve this have ensured that nobody even my own family and wife family have right to dictate to us unduly. It is difficult but we thank for the benefit we get from such marital policy.

Satan shall prevail over your home in Jesus name, Amen.

Please my brother do not revenge, but loving take back your rights.

IT IS WELL. AMEN

wany:
Too many pervert walking around,is sex the only thing you can lay claim on from the op write up.then divorce your own wife if she denies you sex,kids on the loose.

If you are properly raised, you would have seen that sex is one and not the only thing I talked about. Besides when did my view on an issue becomes your personal business? Next time you see my post don't dare quote me.