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Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by larryking540: 11:10am On Jun 24, 2020
[quote author=NoToPile post=91013742]

You believe a lady should be given a slap on the face for correction


Have a nice day abeg.

[/quot

that's one of the way of correction,
good day ,and if ur husband slap you ,u are free to pack out
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by dejavuh0007(m): 11:15am On Jun 24, 2020
OP, it's funny how u behave like a pussy but you've never been inside one.

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by FunFact: 11:30am On Jun 24, 2020
HaHa imagine living in a patriarch country and still letting a woman manipulate you.. It’s like holding a gun but letting someone with a toothpick continually stab you to your death.

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by enthronedbyGod1: 11:41am On Jun 24, 2020
simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.


Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused



I don't really have much to say anymore, cos @Righteousness89 has already given you a lovely advice.

However, I must let you know that this is the work of familiar spirits, but God can see you through and out of it, if you genuinely seek Him


God bless

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by mablie(m): 11:41am On Jun 24, 2020
Openbusiness:
Oga listen to wise and mature advises here and learn. See let me tell you, you're not weak, you are toooo weak and that's why the 2 of them can boldly conspire to do that thrash an take your kids and leave. How you handle this matter now will determine whether such a thing will repeat itself continuously. Don't ever beg anybody or your wife family. Dem don see you finish. Women need strong hand, they need a man that can put his foot on the ground and show them say he get craze for head if you try rubbish. Just go and report to the police anti-kidnappjng unit, that you left for work and when you came back your wife and her mother have kidnapped your children, want to go and use them for rituals, and let the hardened police go after them, and deal with them, then let them charge them to court, in the middle of the crisis, they will have sense by force when they are detained and go through shit in the police station. After dey don show Dem pepper for station, then at last minute withdraw the case, because na Dem go they beg you at that time to let una settle. I can bet it with you, that will be the last time anybody among them will try that rubbish with you and carry your children to unknown place and run. See your children are girls, that's how very soon your wife and her mother will program their mind to hate you and poison their hearts against you, and condition their thinking to see daddy is only useful as an ATM machine they can extort and dump. I pity 6ou, you have allowed a lot of weakness to grow on you too long and that's why your wife can be treating you like shit after all the sacrifice and good you have done. You better correct yourself now or else las las, na those 2 women go conspire to kill you and inherit your shit for themselves. My baby mama wanted to try such rubbish one time, that she will carry my children and go, told her point blank, see you can go wherever da fxck u wanna go, I don't give a sheet, but my children stays and ain't going nowhere. If you try to sneak my children and run when I'm not around, forgerrit, unless you run out of this country, I will find you and beat you into hell fire, I'm ready to go to jail because of it. I don't joke with my sons. One bastard girl will now say she wan carry dem run, hmmm, she can never try it no matter how angry she is, because na her obituary be that. When her family was misbehaving, I told dem to fxck off, do dey think am a weak man that a woman will be controlling? I told dem if dey try rubbish with me, I no dey hide my own, I go find dem go their family house and give dem d trouble dey are looking for, give dem so hoooot, they will buuuuurn angry. Since dat time, d family sef dey behave their selves, dey caution d girl say dis ur guy get craze for head o, abeg no dey follow am drag before he go break ur head. See, you have to let a woman know your do's and don't. If she cross the line, punish her immediately, no time for pity party. If you show weakness in how you handle this matter now, i can bet you from now on, maybe every 2 or 3 months, any small matter, you will be coming home to see that your children have disappeared again and they will teach them to grow up hating you. Wake up! And be a real man angry
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Jess29: 11:41am On Jun 24, 2020
Righteousness89:
Make a police Report!
Also inform Family elders...

After that Calm down and use this time to seek GOD'S Face on your family....

Something is wrong somewhere!

I Believe the Greatest solution is the one that GOD gives..

Use this period to knock on Heaven gate for your Family Matters..

Personal Times as these produce results!

I Pray For you that GOD Almighty have Mercy on your Home and restore the Love and Joy that in your Home in JESUS Name.... Amen



This is the best advice for sir. There is no other advice that can supersede this. May God come to your aide in Jesus Name Amen.

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by golddare: 11:45am On Jun 24, 2020
coputa:
marriage is not all about mill and boom,reading books,it,s a school you go through successfully with :wisdom,courage and perserverance.

Always read before you response, where did you see mill&booms ? Did you even read @righteousness89 comments that I advised he should follow? So you mean books on marriages are not irrelevant?. Always read and assimilate before you throw banter.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Montaque(m): 11:49am On Jun 24, 2020
Always know the family you are marrying into. It will save you years of turmoil.

If you must marry her and knowing about her mother, you would have strove to limit communications between them. Like your marriage should have separated them. If not, it will always be a stream of bad influence after another. Thats why some men dont allow MIL to visit their home.

If this situation is resolved, make it your life purpose to cut their relationship. It will keep your family safe and intact. Wifey may be angry, but its for her own good. She is up against generational curse and she doesnt know yet.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by mablie(m): 11:50am On Jun 24, 2020
Openbusiness:
OP you are very funny oh, so because someone accused you of cheating, and even sef, if you actually cheated, nobody has the rights to take your children and run. That's the height of weakness, where a woman has so much confidence she pulls a crazy stunt like that without fear because she already knows how mentally weak a man you are, and you ain't gonna do shit about it. No bloody woman can try that rubbish with me. I had older sisters when growing up, so I understand women well, but I had elder brothers too and thank God my first born was a no nonsense guy, so I learned a lot from him how you respond to a woman fxck up. The guy no dey waste time, omo, if ma sisters do anyhow, na correct beating straight, he no dey waste time, he go don beat dem well well before my mama and papa come to d rescue. Sometimes if na only 4 secs sef, d beating go enta before ma mama take 6 steps reach there. You don't tolerate shit from women or else they will make it a habit. None of my sisters could misbehave while we were growing up, not because of my mom or dad but because of my firstborn, the guy no give dem chance at all. Come back home late, omo if he hear, na better slaps go follow, slaps wey heavy, wey if he land for face na for ground d girl dey go. Mom would step in to protect but she always used my firstborn as a discipline weapon, she go tell dem, if you misbehave I will call your brother for you. Omo everybody go arrange demselves. Cuz d guy doesn't fxck around. If he handle u, 1 week ur body go feel am. Popc sef no dey even worry again, cuz my firstborn was up to the task of discipline in our house. So me too I was always a no nonsense guy when I grew. Even my sisters, they know my do's and don't. Don't ever try to slap me, no matter how angry you are, cuz if you slap me I will slap you back 10 times. If you angry, just insult me all d crazy insults u can think of, no problem, I won't cross d line or react to you more than words, but if you try rubbish and wanna go physical, omo forget say u old pass me oh, so far u be woman, just respect urself or else I will treat ur fxck up live and direct. I was raised to respect woman, so I won't go beyond my boundary to be trying to disrespect women any how or look for their trouble anyhow. I won't do such. But I was also raised that you got to put a woman in her place, cuz everytime she will always be trying to cross the line and do what she not supposed to do. The only woman dat can try any rubbish with me and get away with it is my mother. Anything she do, I go just take am like dat cuz she is my mother and I know the hell she went through to ensure her children didn't suffer. So she has a free pass forever. No matter what she does, I can only forgive and move on, and continue to love her. But no other woman has that privilege. So don't come around me acting crazy and think there won't be consequences. Taking my children and run is the height of crazy. I will fxck u up big time
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Nobody: 11:54am On Jun 24, 2020
Oga, as an experienced married person, I will only tell you 2 things.

1. What you resist, persist.
That is, the more you try to resolve with someone that doesn't want to dialogue, the bigger the rift will grow.

Leave the matter and focus on other things. Your kids are with their mother, they will be fine.

2. I have a neighbor that had exactly the same issue about 12 years ago and the more he tried to resolve the issue, the bigger things got. With such an interfering MIL, you stand very little chance.
Let them see you as strong, more successful and independent so that they will want to cavort with you again.

Build yourself..
Love yourself
It is the easiest way to always get what you want in life.

All the best.




simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused


Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by coputa(m): 11:55am On Jun 24, 2020
golddare:


Always read before you response, where did you see mill&booms ? Did you even read @righteousness89 comments that I advised he should follow? So you mean books on marriages are not irrelevant?. Always read and assimilate before you throw banter.
What you read about marriages in books(other people experiences and fiction) are never applicable in real life situations,I did'nt throw banters.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by mablie(m): 12:01pm On Jun 24, 2020
Openbusiness:
For all the men out there, LISTEN and LEARN. Matters like this is why YOU SHOULD NEVER DO A COURT WEDDING. Do church or traditional but never do a court wedding. A court wedding gives the woman the upper hand in legal ligitation if matters like this arise. The court system is programmed to favor the woman. But if you didn't sign any court papers, then you have the upper hand. So all that Ikoyi registry trips society keeps pushing men to go and put pen on paper, guy you are signing away your rights and advantages. Don't do it! You are putting yourself in legal chains at the benefit of the woman. A court wedding is a NO-NO. But only wise men will understand. The society has been programmed over the years to keep men foolish. Women have used their bottom power to manipulate the system in their favor, so you have to wake up and avoid the loopholes like court wedding that will keep you enslaved. Check am well, who usually pushes for court wedding? The woman. Because when you sign those court papers, you just transferred a lot of legal powers into her hands that she can fxkp u up with anytime. Na una Sabi oh, if u like go and do court wedding.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by silica(m): 12:05pm On Jun 24, 2020
I am disappointed at the kind of men we have now as husband. so called men who can't take decisions about what affect them most. men who go about crying over every issues with their wives rather than stamping their feet firmly as head of the family. from everything you have said so far, its obvious you are weak and your wife knows it. that is why she and her family have turned you into ping pong ball.
when you are done asking for advise on nairaland, you will go back and face the consequence of your "didirism".
just remember that your children are waiting for you to make the right decision and that decision would not be made for you by the people you find here.

2 Likes

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by mablie(m): 12:08pm On Jun 24, 2020
Openbusiness:
For all the mentally weak men out there, that your wife or baby mama will be using sex as a weapon against you whenever they are angry or feel like. When a woman sees sex as a weapon and sees sex starving you as a punishment, then it clearly shows she sees you as a weak man. Let me tell you, if a woman uses sex as weapon against you don't hide your feelings or thoughts, if she denies you sex, just tell her point blank you will get the sex with another woman, don't even tell her you will go outside and get it, tell her to her face you you bring the girl home and fxck her in her presence. Her brain will re-format and she will start behaving herself. But this will only work if she knows and see you as a strong man that always keep his words, that always do what he says sharp sharp. You start losing value in the eyes of a woman when your words don't mean anything to her again, when she sees your words as mere bluffing that you can't do anything. when a woman starts seeing you as a man that doesn't do what he says, then your words stop to carry weight and she sees you as a weak man. Be a man that when you speak, your words will be ringing in her head that my guy means business, he doesn't joke around with what he says, if he says he will fxck me up he will do it, so let me behave myself. She will never use sex as punishment against you again. Cuz you have show her the equation, and she go reason am say na she go lose by the time you start bringing different girls home. Her eyes go clear, she will behave herself and treat you with respect. Never forgo your respect for any puci, never ever!
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by ideology(m): 12:41pm On Jun 24, 2020
XXXXTENTACION:
Nothing is more important than family. We don't give up on family even though they make mistakes. Brace yourself up find a way to bring her back home with your kids.




after all marriage and tolerance is like 5 and 6.

Really, he should continue like this ... interesting ...
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by jornwhite: 12:44pm On Jun 24, 2020
Martinez39s:
Lol. Don't flatter yourself. I didn't just have the strength to argue.



Do you really argue ... asides making corrections
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by sunnywaters2004(m): 12:51pm On Jun 24, 2020
Bro don't go to the police, and keep in touch with your wife i know its not easy, i am currently going through a similar scenario. She will be back soon with your kids, just don't relent in your effort to make amends, na the job we sign up for as fathers and a husbands. Next time your mother in-law visits, guy use style pack go your male friend place, trust me it will save you a lot of drama from my experience.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by VickyRotex(f): 12:59pm On Jun 24, 2020
BABANGBALI:
correct talk from a correct guy. The guy to soft like akamu jare. I'm even suspecting that he might not be the biological father of those children. I ate soft guys. Vickyrotex abi kini mo wi?

Are you a carnivore
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by BABANGBALI: 1:00pm On Jun 24, 2020
VickyRotex:


Are you a carnivore
Abeg leaf me jo
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by golddare: 1:01pm On Jun 24, 2020
coputa [b:
post=91015885]What you read about marriages in books(other people experiences and fiction) are never applicable in real life situations,[/b]I did'nt throw banters.

When you hear statements like that (bold) always verify if they are true.
1. How many books on marriages have they read?
2. Who are the authors?
3. I wonth even mentioned foreign authors, checkout books and seminars by Bisi Adewale https://www.amazon.co.uk/Books-Bisi-Adewale/s?rh=n%3A266239%2Cp_27%3ABisi+Adewale.
4. Books (not fictionalised books) are answers to real life situations you are talking about, they are written based on series of research on the challenges couples are facing, imagine people spending 4-5 years in school to learn about a course, don't you think they need to do the same about marriage as well.
5. Yes some may not prefer answers to all problems and that was why I added "real" counsellors.
6. There is wisdom in studying, listening to messages and counselling as far as marriage is concerned.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by VickyRotex(f): 1:01pm On Jun 24, 2020
BABANGBALI:
Abeg leaf me jo

Ukazi leaf ni
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by ugwum007(m): 1:01pm On Jun 24, 2020
Nna, buy a bottle of beer and relax with it. All these dust will settle. When she is through, she will come back. She is following the footsteps of her mum.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Obynolee(f): 1:14pm On Jun 24, 2020
Stephenomozzy:


Marriages don't end just because one of the people talks to a third party (People will usually talk to others for different reasons, miscommunication/misunderstands, among others.

Marriages don't end just because a wife complains to her mother

It's not forming love; It's being matured and making efforts to clarify issues. If after all your effort she is still bent on staying away. Then you're justified in whatever action you choose to take


I may be talking to a single guy anyway
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by simplesearch: 1:15pm On Jun 24, 2020
Couldn't contribute early enough, notwithsatnding let me add my little quota. From your write-up, their marriage is 4years old at the same time their first child is 4yrs old. It can be deduced from that line that the OP have been engaged in some illicit sex affairs with the lady before doing the needful, whether voluntarily or out of compulsion. This is usually the case with pre-marital sex adventure, it will always bring up a lot of complex issues after the union is consumated. Which boils down to the fact that important issues that requires serious attendance and settlement are taken for granted due to momentary enjoyment, that quickly goes sour once the intracies or callenges of family life begin to unravel itself. In other word, pre-marital sex becloud the senses and incapacitate the will to dig deep and ask questions that can unravel some mysteries about our partner and intimate us with their family history. At this jucture dear OP, you need to go to God in true repentance, amend your ways where necessary and finally invite him into your family. Once this is done in simple faith, be rest assured the Lord will take over your family battles and will help you calm the raging storms trying to destroy your boat and that of your family right now in Jesus name.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by coputa(m): 1:36pm On Jun 24, 2020
@golddare,the older generation that their marriages lasted,(started with black hair and ended with grey hair) did not read books watch films or attend seminars about marriage.But this generation that read books,watch films and attended seminars on marriages had the highest percentage of failed marriages.Do you know that majority of these counsellors and authors about good marriages had failed marriages.Why,because,marriages comes in different shape,colour and sizes.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Chrixtopha(m): 1:46pm On Jun 24, 2020
Go to the police.....
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by omolasho: 2:00pm On Jun 24, 2020
simplexity:
Firstly I will like to apologize for any errors made while typing, and I am seriously in need of ur advice and criticism.

My name is Stanley(not real names) married for 4years with two Lovely kids both female with d eldest at age 4. Trust me I cherish and love my family. I am a graduate while my wife dropout from the university cause of some money issues her single mother had while she was sick. After our first child I made sure she got admitted to a polytechnic and thankful she just rounded up her N.D all expenses paid by me, with high hopes of Getting admitted for her HND.

The problem started after our first child, my wife attitude towards sex changed totally, she would never let me touch her or play with her, calling her pet names will usually end in quarrel, I spoke with her her severally, pleaded and beg her most times but her attitude never changed, she made me feel like I met nothing to her, yet she will always fight with me whenever ever she suspects I have a girlfriend, fights with any female that comes close to me through calls or chats, she even went as far as beating up a lady that needed my help thinking I was dating her.

Fast forward to recently, her mom who is a single mother relocated to stay with us, and during her stay we had some misunderstanding about money issues, (note both me and wifey are gainfully employed in the ratio of 10:4, but 60% of wifey salary goes to her mom while she spends the rest 40% anyhow she likes) during d money issues a frd of hers came and told both of them that she see saw me flirting with a lady. And without hearing my own side of the coin my mother in-law rained curses on me , reported my to all her family members and left my house angrily, two days later my wife took our children and left my house while I was in d office, I called about her where about and she said she won't tell me and she said I will hear from her family soon, her mom called a family friend saying she will sue me.

It's been one week now and I don't know the whereabouts of my kids.

Should I report to the police or what?
Note I have apologized to wife for the crime I didn't commit yet it seems they want a bigger pound of flesh.

Please kindly advise me caused am depressed and confused



Except you beat on her and she feels her life is threatened, a woman who walks away from her home shall always walk away at slightest instance.
This is what you need ;

Direction; do you want her even if she repeats this thread in the future OR not.

Options; by sending her money for the upkeep of the children (feeding, fee, miscellaneous). This will give you moral advantage against her and in people's "court of emotions". This is not optional!

Execution;.by going to beg her to stay OR sneakily remove your children from her and file a permanent separation and custody suit against her.
Do not let emotions and anger overshadow your sense of logical reasoning, Do not be hard on yourself, things like this are part of life. Do not call her be calm and arrive at what you want.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Arewa1408: 2:04pm On Jun 24, 2020
[quote author=simplexity post=90920158][/quote]

If i were you, i will start looking for a second wife and send her a message that if she doesn't tell me the whereabouts of the kids, i will report to the Police straight up. However, please get yourself another wife quickly. There is no way she will come back to the same house, she will be coming in as a co wife if it's me. However, this is your side of the story. You know in your heart if there are other things ure not telling. I am only judging from your own narration.
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Twoclans(f): 2:07pm On Jun 24, 2020
Arewa1408:


If i were you, i will start looking for a second wife and send her a message that if she doesn't tell me the whereabouts of the kids, i will report to the Police straight up. However, please get yourself another wife quickly. There is no way she will come back to the same house, she will be coming in as a co wife if it's me. However, this is your side of the story. You know in your heart if there are other things ure not telling. I am only judging from your own narration.

1 Like

Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Haywhymido(m): 2:37pm On Jun 24, 2020
Ohemababy:


Really. If the kids are just 2years old and a one month old she should leave them with the father?
No matter the age of the children, permission to leave with the children should be seek from the hubby before leaving
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Stephenomozzy(m): 3:17pm On Jun 24, 2020
Obynolee:



I may be talking to a single guy anyway

Why do you all have this notion that single guys can't possibly know anything about marriage?
Re: My Worst Fear Finally Happened, Please Help by Obynolee(f): 3:32pm On Jun 24, 2020
Stephenomozzy:


Why do you all have this notion that single guys can't possibly know anything about marriage?


Are you not proving us right?

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