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Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? - Family - Nairaland

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Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by wwwkaycom(m): 7:23pm On Jun 24, 2020
I'm confused about this. Am I expecting too much from people? I had a pastor few years ago, do anything for this pastor, he will never say thank you.

There was a time he followed us as youth in the church at that time to a youth picnic on the instruction of our Senior Pastor, upon arrival, I mobilised the youth to appreciate him by presenting a gift of a very good quality shirt, he returned it and told us its too small for what he'll collect from us, he said we were big youths, we had to contribute more money to buy a suit and add to the shirt. He didn't at any time say thank you to anyone of us.

There was a time he did his mother's funeral, I travelled all the way from Ondo State to his hometown somewhere in one of the southern states, I gave him a token of 10k which was what I could afford at the time as present, no thank you till this moment.

I can mention 5 other instances in which I offered him gifts without even an acknowledgement that he got it.

One day while preaching, he said "if you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He was transferred to another state since 2013.

Again, I have a colleague in the office who have this same trait. He told me he doesn't know how to say thank you. Do anything for him, he believed he deserved it. He will never say thank you.

One day, our oga traveled to Germany and bought some beautiful shoes which he gave to us when he came back, that shoe would have cost 27k if purchased in Nigeria at that time. I got it through our secretary and sent an SMS to oga immediately, I also called him to thank him. The following day, I didn't see him, I sent an SMS again and the third day, I went straight to his office in the morning to thank him again.

This is the way I was brought up. We had to prostrate to thank our parents each time they paid our school fees or bought something for us in those days. My friend didn't say anything to our oga. As I was going out of oga's office, he called me back and said "can you see your friend Stanley? he will never appreciate anything". I asked Stanley and he gave me the same reply my pastor gave me years ago. " If you do good to anyone and you're expecting him to thank you, it means you didn't have the intention of doing the good ab-initio". He said must he now turn himself to who he isn't just because of a shoe? that's just who Stanley is.

Now I have a neighbour in my street, every morning I'll pick his two kids and take them to school since their public school is very close to my children school, these children will never say thank you. They just hop in and hop out of the car every morning and sometimes in the evening if they see us while passing the front of their school. Funny enough, their parent also haven't appreciated the gesture at any time, its like an abomination for them to say thank you. One day in March, before the lockdown, I went to my kid's school by around 11am in the morning to submit school fees tellers, I saw one of the kids I normally pick to school in front of their school gate, I stopped to ask her why she isn't in class, she told me they asked her to go home because she was feeling feverish. Instead of going back to my office, I took her home. As I was driving, I asked about her parents, she said they'll have gone to their business places and that his dad's phone rang but he didn't pick it when the vice-principal tried to call him while her mum's phone was bad. I took her to their house, ask a nurse who also sells medicine in our street to treat her, I paid N1200 for the drugs, nothing like thank you from this 12 year old girl and her parent didn't say anything till date even though the nurse told me she narrated the whole story to them.

Last Saturday, I attended the landlord association meeting, I heard the assistant secretary of our association saying that he paid 2k on behalf of the man for a particular work we're doing in the street and that the man didn't even show appreciation or make effort to pay back his 2k. This man just said "its only God who deserved thanks, I'll pay your 2k next week".

Are these people really right? Is it wrong to show appreciation for good deeds? Our parents taught us to show gratitude for good deeds when we were young, were they wrong? I'm not so clear about this.

124 Likes 8 Shares

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by Ishilove: 7:33pm On Jun 24, 2020
My God, what a warped worldview. Yes, all thanks belongs to God but will He come down from his throne to assist you? Is it not through human beings He will send you help? My sister was complaining about the same thing with her pastor's wife. She said when she sends gifts, recharge cards and sows seeds the woman never acknowledges them. We kuku advised her to borrow herself brain.

Me, the way I was raised, when someone gives you something, no matter how small, you MUST thank them even if they tell you there is no need for thanks. Op, those people in your experiences have a very bad upbringing. Since they have discountenanced the role of human beings, they should ask God to send them help through heavenly angels.

Once I see that you have the spirit of useless pride, ingratitude and a nauseating sense of entitlement, you will never get help from me, and this is why some people don't find favour because their character is so bad.

201 Likes 13 Shares

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by ImaIma1(f): 7:43pm On Jun 24, 2020
What an annoying attitude. They must all be in the same clique. Where is it in the Bible that only God deserves thanks?

I think it's more of pride and superiority/inferiority complex. How can someone even live his life without saying thank you for anything. That's really strange.

Even my two year old cannot collect something without saying thank you. She even thanks her daddy when he buys her cereal, milk and other necessities. Meanwhile these old men cannot see reason to be thankful. It's a shame

86 Likes 7 Shares

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by kennybabs1980: 7:49pm On Jun 24, 2020
People like that are everywhere. We discussed something like this in our Sunday school I think in March, RCCG Sunday school. One woman stood up to say "if you do good to anyone, forget it, stop expecting appreciation", I told the woman that ingratitude is sinful. Have you noticed these stupid goatee bearded young guys of these days? They don't appreciate anything. I hate ingrates!

58 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by Nobody: 7:55pm On Jun 24, 2020
.....

Why are comments ridiculously long on this thread? angry angry angry

11 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by shestrong(f): 7:57pm On Jun 24, 2020
We are bound to be thankful always,alwaaays..
Thanksgiving is the application for more.

12 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by vickydankal(f): 7:58pm On Jun 24, 2020
Ingratitude has a thin line with pride. Any one who is not appreciative can hardly attract big things. He/she will be getting things for the exchange of something.

5 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by Oluneutral: 8:12pm On Jun 24, 2020
@op, thank you for this post. Believe me, not wrong to show gratitude. They're just showing how arrogant and ill-mannered they are. We have a family tenant like that, at first, I was always getting angry anytime we do them any good and they always believe it's their right, hence, not saying thank you, but later got used to it and no longer bother myself, only that, no more prefential treatment for them again, purely landlord and tenant kind of relationship now. Funny thing is that the husband is a pastor too. The husband o, wife o, children o, all of them, I never heard them appreciate anybody.


One day, I overheard one of their kids singing that nursery School thyme...... There are five magic words......bla bla bla, and I was wondering that, so these kids even know that thank you is a magic word. They're Yorubas too and in this part, we cherish gratitude so much, we're brought up with proverbs like....eni ti a se loore, ti ko dupe, bi olosa to ko ni l'eru lo ni.

Omode to ba du'pe ore ana, a ri emii gba.

Eni ti a ba se rere fun, ti ko moo, ti a ba se ika fun, ko ma binu.
We're brought up with proverbs like these and we're also passing the training to our children.
Besides, how can you thank God alone without appreciating the person God used to bless you, abi, God came down from heaven ni? What if God sent someone to you and the person refused to deliver the message?

Appreciation opens better and greater doors of more blessings. Let's all learn the art of showing gratitude.

117 Likes 6 Shares

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by SirWhiteFish: 8:17pm On Jun 24, 2020
There are some funny people you will help and they will still blame you for helping them. In your case, At least they didn't blame you for helping them grin

It's an irresponsible attitude when people don't know to appreciate or say thank you.
Thank you is a motivation

Help people but if you expect them to thank you and they didn't, you can question them about it. Once people start acting like an ingrate, you start demanding explanation. There is no evil in that

42 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by Ishilove: 8:52pm On Jun 24, 2020
SirWhiteFish:
There are some funny people you will help and they will still blame you for helping them. In your case, At least they didn't blame you for helping them grin

It's an irresponsible attitude when people don't know to appreciate or say thank you.
Thank you is a motivation

Help people but if you expect them to thank you and they didn't, you can question them about it. Once people start acting like an ingrate, you start demanding explanation. There is no evil in that
No need for demanding explanations. When you do good to a person and they don't appreciate it, quietly let them be because they have closed the door of their favour with their attitude. Whatever you do, do it out of the goodness of your heart and let the God who sees your good deeds in secret reward you openly.

63 Likes 4 Shares

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by omotowo2: 8:56pm On Jun 24, 2020
A
Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by Slawormir: 8:56pm On Jun 24, 2020
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Isoright
Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by Zombiekiller010: 8:56pm On Jun 24, 2020
wink
Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by heryourdayji: 8:57pm On Jun 24, 2020
Who Read the Entire post? Summary pls
Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by DontBullshitMe: 8:58pm On Jun 24, 2020
THANK YOU

THANK YOU

THANK YOU

THANK YOU

Are you happy now, Op?

4 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by jericco1(m): 8:58pm On Jun 24, 2020
It is but you questioning others is bad. If someone doesn't show you gratitude, that doesn't mean anything. It may be a habit
Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by netbaba001: 8:58pm On Jun 24, 2020
What type of question is this?
Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by bignero: 8:58pm On Jun 24, 2020
Hmm

They should all being saying Thank you.. One day their lack of gratitude will bounce back at them.

Except those kids.. Leave them out.. They haven't been taught right.. You were taught right.

13 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by Ask4bigneyo(m): 8:58pm On Jun 24, 2020
Ok
Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by NaijadrivaCars: 8:59pm On Jun 24, 2020


Sense is practicing social distance from the brain of an ingrate.

7 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by visijo(m): 8:59pm On Jun 24, 2020
No



Womanizing is an expensive business with no profit but only loses, do not invest on it. Get a good wife & build a family.��

7 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by techmo(m): 9:00pm On Jun 24, 2020
cool


In Nigeria it is wrong, or they might tag you godfather like Oshiomhole

Just don't help anyone in Nigeria cos they are all fvcking entitled

Package your help to redcross or other organisations or even local orphanage

.
Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by IamDavid(m): 9:01pm On Jun 24, 2020
Dear op, don't be confused by the coincidences, no matter how much they are. Honestly, you are a good person, thanks for being good and don't let those ungrateful people discourage you. That being said, it's very wrong not to show appreciation. I'm even surprised to see a pastor in your write up, where do people get all these teachings from?

40 Likes 2 Shares

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by sircatherine45(m): 9:01pm On Jun 24, 2020
It is wrong to show gratitude to ungrateful people

4 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by whytediamond(m): 9:01pm On Jun 24, 2020
Give thanks always

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by iamvictorbassey: 9:02pm On Jun 24, 2020
It's only on nairaland you'll see very crazy questions. As if it's by force to buy pastor gift. Him don see mumu now.

2 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by kenzysmith: 9:02pm On Jun 24, 2020
better use your time to please your self cause you can't please the world they would never appreciate that why i don't give a Bleep on what people think about me ii don't leave my life to impress.if you die today you will be forgotten in hours and life goes on and same people you are trying to kill your self on will crack jokes and dance on your funeral

5 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by GemUnique(m): 9:02pm On Jun 24, 2020
An unpopular Proverb says 'Ìdúpé ire òní n sínà ore òla' (today's gratitude open tomorrow's blessings' door)
.
.
Even if na #50 you gimme, my sense tells me, Thank you should follow
.
I once rendered service to someone (I worked and was paid), I still said Thank You, which prompted the Man to give me additional

Thank You for reading

43 Likes 1 Share

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by Nobody: 9:03pm On Jun 24, 2020
..
Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by kenzysmith: 9:03pm On Jun 24, 2020
visijo:
No



Womanizing is an expensive business with no profit but only loses, do not invest on it. Get a good wife & build a family.��
which kind wife'? all this una holy holy advise done tire me

4 Likes

Re: Is It Wrong To Show Gratitude? by Nobody: 9:03pm On Jun 24, 2020
Arrogancy

1 Like

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