You're trying too hard to sound woke but you're sounding dumber than nail. I pray to God every-day to steer men like you away from me

Acidosis:


What behaviour? No contribution in the past 2 years or job loss? I don't believe the former. OP said her husband is trying hard to get a job. So what behaviour do you want me to condemn? Last time I checked, rents are paid yearly so I don't get how the entire responsibility of rents would fall on a woman whose husband lost a job around 2 years ago, especially in this age where many people have learned to save. Note, the marriage is over 5-6 years. I would love to read that in the 5-6 years of marriage, the man has been spending his salary and savings on beer and side chicks.

Acidosis:


What behaviour? No contribution in the past 2 years or job loss? I don't believe the former. OP said her husband is trying hard to get a job. So what behaviour do you want me to condemn? Last time I checked, rents are paid yearly so I don't get how the entire responsibility of rents would fall on a woman whose husband lost a job around 2 years ago, especially in this age where many people have learned to save. Note, the marriage is over 5-6 years. I would love to read that in the 5-6 years of marriage, the man has been spending his salary and savings on beer and side chicks.

What I am saying is getting a job is not the only option.
Imagine letting two whole years pass you by while looking for a job...
The truth is, most on Nigerians are usually never prepared in case they lose their jobs, to have something to fall back on. Like a side business...

Because he is being subsidized thus his laid back attitude towards providing for his family. In those 2 years he has been out of paid employed, didn't he think it wise to go for vocational skill training(s) that should by now be earning him an income?

Amanee:
You're trying too hard to sound woke but you're sounding dumber than nail. I pray to God every-day to steer men like you away from me

You can't even get a man like me cos men like me already are taken by responsible women.

merahki:


Only you judge, jury, adviser, inquisitioner, what’s left is to become executioner.
Wonder how much you have saved yourself o rich Sanctimomo
An @ uboma guy here posted something. Read it. Assimilate it. That’s what to say to this woman and not the backhanded mostly unkind drivel you posted.
I am not surprised you posted that. Your posts are mostly judgemental and unkind. Even dictating how much someone’s savings should last. SMH.

I don't have to save millions to understand I don't have to resume begging the same day I lose my job.


Also, I've met too many women to understand how you lots over estimate your contributions whenever it comes to the issue of finance. One year of financial contribution always seem like 30 years.

Acidosis:


You can't even get a man like me cos men like me already are taken by responsible women.

Make I bend

marriage is somehow sha,its for the very matured people.I have changed my mind on marrying early,i never get strength.

Acidosis:


I don't have to save millions to understand I don't have to resume begging the same day I lose my job.


Also, I've met too many women to understand how you lots over estimate your contributions whenever it comes to the issue of finance. One year of financial contribution always seem like 30 years.

While it is not a crime to loose one's job, it is an act of irresponsibility for a man who lost his job 2 years ago to sit at home, refuse to take up some blue collar jobs so as to cater for his family. The annoying part is he buying good clothes for himself with the meagre monthly income the wife earns. Haba! Where is his pride as a man? He is gradually rendering her vulnerable and I am sure his cries will be the loudest if the wife chooses to flirt around so as to complement her meagre income.

The woman has single handedly taken care of the home and the bills for 24 months and counting, cut her some slack. She is a good woman but her husband is taking undue advantage of her.

Rozz:
marriage is somehow sha,its for the very matured people.I have changed my mind on marrying early,i never get strength.

It is not by age sha.

bukatyne:




It is not by age sha.

but it is said that maturity comes with age, I don't want to go and be crying in another man's house

Rozz:
but it is said that maturity comes with age, I don't want to go and be crying in another man's house

Hahahahahahaha!

uboma:




While it is not a crime to loose one's job, it is an act of irresponsibility for a man who lost his job 2 years ago to sit at home, refuse to take up some blue collar jobs so as to cater for his family. The annoying part is he buying good clothes for himself with the meagre monthly income the wife earns. Haba! Where is his pride as a man? He is gradually rendering her vulnerable and I am sure his cries will be the loudest if the wife chooses to flirt around so as to complement her meagre income.

The woman has single handedly taken care of the home and the bills for 24 months and counting, cut her some slack. She is a good woman but her husband is taking undue advantage of her.

@bold:

Very true.

From the story so far.

Acidosis:


I don't have to save millions to understand I don't have to resume begging the same day I lose my job.


Also, I've met too many women to understand how you lots over estimate your contributions whenever it comes to the issue of finance. One year of financial contribution always seem like 30 years.

2yrs sounds like a life time.

uboma:




While it is not a crime to loose one's job, it is an act of irresponsibility for a man who lost his job 2 years ago to sit at home, refuse to take up some blue collar jobs so as to cater for his family. The annoying part is he buying good clothes for himself with the meagre monthly income the wife earns. Haba! Where is his pride as a man? He is gradually rendering her vulnerable and I am sure his cries will be the loudest if the wife chooses to flirt around so as to complement her meagre income.

The woman has single handedly taken care of the home and the bills for 24 months and counting, cut her some slack. She is a good woman but her husband is taking undue advantage of her.

We read the same post but interpreted it differently. I would only be able to respond to your post if she comes forward to answer the questions/observations raised on the thread.


For the sake of clarity, see my observations below:

Most times I borrow to make up the rent which will be deducted from my salary later with interest.

Most times? I don't understand this.

No good clothes, no good shoes, no nice weavon absolutely nothing yet my husband wears the best of clothes

The question is HOW? I feel the husband is getting money inspite of his "joblessness".

It doesn't add up, especially reading this part:

My husband is trying hard to get a job but it's not bn easy for him.

Trying hard to get a job? Oh, that means he's not sitting at home all day for 2 years like some of us have assumed and concluded?

His pride won't let him seek for job outside our state

Like his pride won't let him seek for a job outside Lagos state or 'high-class' state? What state? I don't think it is pride to choose to remain in Lagos state.

Acidosis:


You can't even get a man like me cos men like me already are taken by responsible women.

Yuck.... I will continue to forbid men like you in jesus name. Amen

Lucyspa:





Yuck.... I will continue to forbid men like you in jesus name. Amen

God will certainly answer your prayers because he's joined me with a woman. Take your prayer points to Shiloh. That's where women like you dwell.

Acidosis:


God will certainly answer your prayers because he's joined me with a woman. Take your prayer points to Shiloh. That's where women like you dwell.

U wish ... Tueh

Your husband is manipulative obviously.

Lazy dude who knows the best answer to give you when u raise up topic that would bruise his ego.

The earlier u start adjusting and letting him be a man the better for you.


CHAI! WISH LAZY ME COULD TAKE SOMEONE LIKE YOU AS A WIFE.


Na to just sleep from morning till night dey smile.

Please let's sheathe our swords.

My husband has been paying the rent effortlessly from 2014 upto 2017. He was laid off early 2018. He had savings of about 900k but all was expended on further search for jobs, taking care of the family, flights and accommodation to Abuja in search of connections, and the burial of his aunt. I will still say he has really tried and I appreciate his efforts. I stepped in late 2018 carrying the family along with my life savings and I paid for 2018 rent with ease. Last years rent was a bit tough for me cos all my life savings were depleted.
He's against us moving out to a low cost area cos according to him he's getting something soon so he can't downgrade and he's dissapointed in me for suggesting such.. His elder sister do send him something at times but he will lie to me she sent something lesser. Last December I saw alert of 150k on his phone but he lied to me his sister sent him 40k. He took us to shoprite, next day he bought loads of turkey shirts and other stuffs worth more than the 40k he claimed his sister sent him. I kept that to myself.

Currently we are carrying face cos he begged I should borrow him 50k to service his car.(i do not know if anything is wrong with the car or not) I told him I don't have. He said I was just paid last week I insisted I don't have, that's how I became enemy of progress who wants him to be moving with legs. Meanwhile there's a car but me and my kids are Always on our legs jumping from one bus to the other.
I do not know how to go about this money for servicing of his car. I'm just confused.

Funmilehot:
Please let's sheathe our swords.

My husband has been paying the rent effortlessly from 2014 upto 2017. He was laid off early 2018. He had savings of about 900k but all was expended on further search for jobs, taking care of the family, flights and accommodation to Abuja in search of connections, and the burial of his aunt. I will still say he has really tried and I appreciate his efforts. I stepped in late 2018 carrying the family along with my life savings and I paid for 2018 rent with ease. Last years rent was a bit tough for me cos all my life savings were depleted.

He's against us moving out to a low cost area cos according to him he's getting something soon so he can't downgrade and he's dissapointed in me for suggesting such.. His elder sister do send him something at times but he will lie to me she sent something lesser. Last December I saw alert of 150k on his phone but he lied to me his sister sent him 40k. He took us to shoprite, next day he bought loads of turkey shirts and other stuffs worth more than the 40k he claimed his sister sent him. I kept that to myself.

Currently we are carrying face cos he begged I should borrow him 50k to service his car.(i do not know if anything is wrong with the car or not) I told him I don't have. He said I was just paid last week I insisted I don't have, that's how I became enemy of progress who wants him to be moving with legs. Meanwhile there's a car but me and my kids are Always on our legs jumping from one bus to the other.

I do not know how to go about this money for servicing of his car. I'm just confused.

You're a good woman and your husband is not a bad man. Please refer back to my first post and have a heart-to-heart discussion with him. He's obviously a spender, not necessarily lazy. Someone only needs to give him the message to embrace the current realities. All the best.

@Funmilehot,

How was your marriage prior to the job loss?

missyojo:
Dear Poster, let me chip in one or two things.

First of all, stop giving your husband pocket money except in exceptional cases if he has an interview to attend or he needs transport fare for job hunting. By so doing that, his brain would reset and he would get up and look for something to do.

Secondly, you have to reduce your spending on groceries shopping. To me if you have enough food at home it's better, cut off some other things that aren't important. Like fuelling the gen mustn't be everytime. Learn to spend within your means.

I am a civil servant too, what I earn isn't up to your's but I cut my coat according to my size. As it is now, you have no savings. Okay, God forbid oo what if an emergency surfaces and it requires money, where would you get it from? Would you go and borrow again? And before you know it all your salary would be used to service loans.

If you have a skill, I would advise you put it to use. When office resumes,

hi five

Zabiboy:

OP, i'll try to make my opinion short...
There are always 2 sides to a coin and for us to get a better view, we'll have to hear your husband's point.....
To me, staying at home for 2 years isnt laziness...it just depends on his actions during the years ( amd you clearly stated he has been trying hard to get a job but it's not been easy)....The part i'm not really happy about is his pride to not move out to a smaller apartment......
Anyways, in all you do, just make sure that if things turn around later in the future, you wont regret whatever decision you make now....
I'm talking from experience
GL

The two sides of a coin crew have come!

BTW the bolded is my focus. Bros Nothing will turn around later in future if that man continue to sit around,do nothing and live on his wife's proceeds. In fact no future for him! She will regret nothing! Stop watching too much Nollywood movie!

Funmilehot:
Please let's sheathe our swords.

My husband has been paying the rent effortlessly from 2014 upto 2017. He was laid off early 2018. He had savings of about 900k but all was expended on further search for jobs, taking care of the family, flights and accommodation to Abuja in search of connections, and the burial of his aunt. I will still say he has really tried and I appreciate his efforts. I stepped in late 2018 carrying the family along with my life savings and I paid for 2018 rent with ease. Last years rent was a bit tough for me cos all my life savings were depleted.
He's against us moving out to a low cost area cos according to him he's getting something soon so he can't downgrade and he's dissapointed in me for suggesting such.. His elder sister do send him something at times but he will lie to me she sent something lesser. Last December I saw alert of 150k on his phone but he lied to me his sister sent him 40k. He took us to shoprite, next day he bought loads of turkey shirts and other stuffs worth more than the 40k he claimed his sister sent him. I kept that to myself.

Currently we are carrying face cos he begged I should borrow him 50k to service his car.(i do not know if anything is wrong with the car or not) I told him I don't have. He said I was just paid last week I insisted I don't have, that's how I became enemy of progress who wants him to be moving with legs. Meanwhile there's a car but me and my kids are Always on our legs jumping from one bus to the other.
I do not know how to go about this money for servicing of his car. I'm just confused.

Now this got Me... You Married a Big Boy! Your husband is so used to his high taste life that he doesn't know how extravagant that is now to his reality. Ma your husband is yet to come to terms with reality and only you can bring him out of his illusions. The reason why he isn't moved is because He has You and His Sister catering for him. I can see you love your husband and you try to defend him to but it's really affecting you.
My advice: Push his responsibilities back at him, turn the table and demand. When you start demanding from him, he won't request things from you. Anytime he ask for 50k, help him borrow 10k even if it is your money give him that impression. Yes he knows how much you earn, create a diversion, start a small business and claim that's where the money is going now. However never disrespect him or argue with him.

Talk to him about how to sort bills, infact give him a percentage to bring. You are not being wicked you are only helping him to be responsible again.

Rozz:
but it is said that maturity comes with age, I don't want to go and be crying in another man's house

maturity comes with an early sense of responsibity

Acidosis:


You're a good woman and your husband is not a bad man. Please refer back to my first post and have a heart-to-heart discussion with him. He's obviously a spender, not necessarily lazy. Someone only needs to give him the message to embrace the current realities. All the best.

Who stole your phone?
Your wife?
She won’t go back to the past (your old bad post)

There must be something he is good at...something he can do to bring in money. Just putting all his hopes on getting a new job is not wise.

I don't even understand how pride will stop a man from looking for work outside his state or stepping up to support his family.

Maybe you should declare a cut in your salary so that there isn't enough to give him while you can buy things for yourself and also save. Because you need to do something drastic to push him to get off his back. He has become comfortable knowing you can handle everything.

There’s no excuse for doing nothing

merahki:



Who stole your phone?
Your wife?
She won’t go back to the past (your old bad post)

Same way she wouldn't take your posts seriously, I mean those of you insulting a married man that took care of his family up until (and even after) he lost his job.

I'm surprised you still had the courage to quote me after contesting the issue of savings.

Whatever makes you happy abeg.

Acidosis:


What behaviour? No contribution in the past 2 years or job loss? I don't believe the former. OP said her husband is trying hard to get a job. So what behaviour do you want me to condemn? Last time I checked, rents are paid yearly so I don't get how the entire responsibility of rents would fall on a woman whose husband lost a job around 2 years ago, especially in this age where many people have learned to save. Note, the marriage is over 5-6 years. I would love to read that in the 5-6 years of marriage, the man has been spending his salary and savings on beer and side chicks.

Following the effects of the stay at home order where some did not receive salaries and the obvious outcomes we read, you can tell our savings culture isn't top notch and OP's husband might be among those who do not have much savings.

Haaa! Let me not talk! May God continue to bless your hustle. I bet your husband is a Yoruba man...majority of them were especially taught to marry women who can carry the family load alone in case they are incapacitated...which isn't bad. But they tend to want to remain incapacitated once the woman can do it. I' am Yoruba by the way and I've seen a lot of them!

From next month, stock the house with food, buy yourself something nice and manage the rest. Once it finishes, it finishes na niyen. May God bless your hustle. And no more picket money for your HUSBAND! Stop enabling his laziness!