pocohantas:


It is only on NL I read this. MOST Nigerians are fcking broke. Men and women. Our population is doubling. People living and fcking in one rooms that they never open the windows because of mosquito.

But once I login to NL, headquarters of millionaires, I start reading how MOST women do not marry men who are economically or socially higher. Only on social media.

Maybe you misread my comment because I don't have the faintest clue what ideas you are trying to convey in your second paragraph.

Poseidon000:

Lol

I trekked mile's that day, because I didn't get a car and it was already late on a path that usually have ritual kidnapping.
I don't have the capacity to bear grudge, but if I have that guy at my mercy, I'll collect my own pound of flesh trifold.

Some guys are mindlessly stupid when they see women.

What he did is wrong, but maybe he was afraid of car jacking. I once heard a story where a man gave a woman a lift, after a short distance, she started complaining of life and everything and how her husband is a bad person and s useless man, suddenly they approached a young guy and she said, that is the yeye man standing there please, help me let's give him a lift, and that was the end of the man's car. Probably he wanted to have your female colleague or was afraid of having two against one in case you re not legit. Life no balance.

Poseidon000:
Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

I was actually with someone with similar situation yesterday, he's in his mid twenties with two children. No degree, No hand work. But want to venture into real estate business.

The only thing he lacks is skills.

10k too much to give am. Some of those na "stories that touch". But if real, that amount can make him lazy for a couple of weeks. You shouldn't have exceeded 5k.

Everyone must not have a company job or luxury of car before going into marriage.

People like us have been rendered temporarily unemployed during this pandemic but crude workers like Block moulders, vulcanizers, vehicle electricians, mechanics, tipper drivers living in my area are coming home with more than enough to feed their families daily.

SKILLS! SKILLS!! SKILLS!!! IS ALL THAT IS LACKING IN NIGERIA'S 60% POPULATION OF YOUTHS.

Farki:


Maybe you misread my comment because I don't have the faintest clue what ideas you are trying to convey in your second paragraph.

I didn’t miss your point. MOST women are married to men who are not in anyway socially or financially high, let alone HIGHER. It isn’t even an insult to them, it is the reality of Nigerian relationships/marriages. The one we see everyday, not NL.

It's surprising how you offered a man a ride and you suddenly know the full story of his life enough to attract people to bash him on Nairaland. God have mercy.

OP nobody deserves to be alone. Poor or not.

Poseidon000:
Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

You have a point, man.

Marriage is not something men should just jump into simply because it is heavier on them should things go bust!

This post is a total mockery when it comes to grassroot assessment and understanding. It is a total rubbish wrapping up that married men with a poverty stricken background who are still poor is as a result of the marriage they plunged themselves into.

I totally disagree with this aggressive analyses without first knowing and understanding the system or pattern of the society they were born into. Is he the cause of the stinky and rotten system polluting the society?

General view, some are born into an ugly system where they face disastrous disasters where they have no power or means to control and tame them like flood, tsunami, hurricane, famine, lack of education and basic amenities, physical and mental diseases, other darkened abject situations. But all these don't stop them from reproducing because how long will they wait to change the ugly system affecting them? Is there no government? Is our tax not meant to take care of them like empowerment, education, etc? WHERE ARE THE BLESSED MERCIFUL HELPERS TOO??

Thanks bro, you said it all to us and you did it all to him.
But honestly, our system in the society is too bad for poor people to succeed and be out of poverty no matter how hard you tried. Luck still works.

decatalyst:


You are good man for having solidarity with men!

We have suffered from each other... A man will decide to help the one with two holes rather assist both when presented with the option.

A woman wrapper, A p*$$y whipped, A simp. Not a man will decide ...

pocohantas:
If a lady tells you people to be financially stable before marriage, you will start crying. You will say she is broke-shaming you. You will ask how much her father had before marrying her mum. You will ask if she is a liability. You will na tell us how you sef wan marry DJcuppy.

Now you are saying same thing women have been telling you.

I have come to realize men know the truth. They just hate to hear it from women.

Una go dey alright ehn. Cuties

I guess it's more of a gender war thing.

To me, marriage should also be a form of investment, you shouldn't be a millionaire and marry an unemployed person, doesn't make sense, you'd end up spending and footing everything in the name of marriage.

This 21st century, things are a bit different now. People even get married as a form of investment. Let's stay woke.

Hmmmmmm

Blackmoran:
Am single now but most of my friends are married and to me I always pity them. We grew up having dreams and aspiration one after the other they knock a lady up, before you know they are married.

There is a saying that women are dream killers, and when I say dream killers I don't mean that women are evil, it simply implies that if you want to achieve anything you need to put women aside, relationship should be your last priority. You can have a bootycall or sexmate but anything more than that is a distraction...

And personally me I think marriage is overrated there is more to life than cohabiting with someone so you can have access to vagina, I can achieve that with many option as a advantage without marriage,

And to the "you will die lonely crew" marriage is not a ticket for you to have a long lasting relationship with people around you, rather your character and deed will determine how people will be loyal and kind towards you...

And this is a respond that sprung from a logical and retional mind not from some robotic or reprogrammed fanatics

Why would a man in poverty procreate like chicken? It's quite sardonic situation. If you are not financially buoyant as a man, it's better you suspend marriage till you are able to pay its financial responsibility.
The only exception is if the woman is working and bringing something to the table and she's understanding too then you can seal the marriage.
Check all developed countries even China, they don't procreate children like Africans. We are too gullible in this country. We believe that children are like future investment or assets. Don't just procreate children without taking care for them financially and morally so that they won't turn to Agberos, thuggs and Almajiris.
A word is enough for the wise...

Marriage these days doesn't really help men. It's women who urge men who aren't ready and then start nagging him when she's used children and her needs to drain him mentally and financially.

I think more men ought to marry virgins who want to be traditional housewives.

kestolove95:
Don't blame them, they wia brainwashed by the lies in the Bible dat says "he who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord" that is the favour his obtaining from d Lord now..

Hey, you can say anything to credit your claims but don't in your life ever disrespect the Bible!

OP,
If this is an attempt to ridicule the bible, then this has utterly failed. Many of you do not even understand what the bible says on many issues and it shows with all the shallow statements we see here.

Not every woman is wife material. Therefore you cannot expect to obtain favour from God when you marry a woman who is money conscious and contributes nothing to the house.

Secondly, any man who cannot sit down to analyze the conditions of the country and make adjustments to his life will put himself and his family into a lot of suffering. We live in a country where the best jobs are reserved for the children of the who is who. Look at all the politician today. Look at the NDDC guys including Cairo Ojuogbo. Cairo has been in politics since the late 80s. He is well connected. How else could he have got the job of NDDC Director of Projects? Where are his children?

Now ask yourself: what chances of securing a good job does the man you picked up have against the children of Isa Funtua, Godswill Akpabio, Cairo Ojuogbo, Timi Alaibe, all the generals who served in government under IBB and Abacha, etc, etc, etc? ZERO!

So why is the individual still looking for a job? What kind of job? A N50,000 job? Where will N50,000 go in Abuja?

In Nigeria of today, any average man with no connections who is still thinking of getting a good job is a dreamer. Such a person is better served starting a business, or learning a skill with global acceptance that can be used in the freelance community, where merit is still the order of the day. You cannot be looking for a job in a country where meritocracy has been sacrificed on the order of mediocrity, nepotism, tribalism and outright social injustice.

Las las, a woman can decide to bang her way to a job and up the ladder if the worst comes to the worst. Do men have such options except you are a gay who is lucky to meet another gay he can service?

These are the issues any man who is in university should start settling before attempting to jump into a marriage. The bible is very clear: he who does not work shall not eat. If you drag a woman into such a situation, then you will have to endure whatever you get out of it.

Poseidon000:
Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

My nigga ur English high me... I swear

Op, thumbs up for the humanity in you.

Getting married is different from making kids.

We need to deviate from the norm. If not, we'll keep having similar results like our ancestors.

ImaIma1:
Some people here castigating the poor man are the same people that still encourage someone with 20k salary to get married.

Thank you O.

kestolove95:
Don't blame them, they wia brainwashed by the lies in the Bible dat says "he who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord" that is the favour his obtaining from d Lord now..

Is that the reason you are still single and senseless?if you don't have anything meaningful to write, keep quiet and be reading comments,is not important you write nonsense as comment and be displaying your stupidity...

How can I even agree to be a wife to a man with no structures in his life? Fvck "grow together". That slang was good in the 70s and 80s..
I am striving for financial independence. My man should be five or ten steps better than I am financially.

[I so much appreciate your sense of solidarity with your fellow man. And l enjoyed the write-up, maybe your choice of words made it so. Well-done.


quote author=Poseidon000 post=91876961]Sup guys. I've something that have always earned the acme of my discountenance. And that's how men crudely jump into marriage in other to conform to societal dictate or for some selfish satisfaction.
This have gotten me pensive and I'll make no ado in getting to the nucleus of the issue.

Yesterday, I was headed toward gwarimpa, and on my way I noticed a disheveled young guy around Efab estate trekking by the express.
As a rule, I always give such guys 'lift,' because i was once with a female colleague in a lonely path that seldom have cars coming our way, suddenly one private car stopped and when I tried entering after my female colleague boarded, the SIMPson bounced me out and zoomed off with an empty back seat.

That incident birthed in me a sense of solidarity and understanding of what men go through just for being men, but yesterday, I was so incensed by a botch job my mechanic did that I drove past. After about 4 hours when I had everything sorted and was heading back, I saw the same guy heading toward my direction again(it's a dual carriage way) and he was sweating profusely, so I beckoned on him to enter. We got talking and I inquired why he's trekking such a long distance. He said: he went to look for a job that wasn't successful and he's going back to Arab road.
But this is just a miniscule of the guy's travail. He grew up in abject poverty.In fact, they gave birth to him and his sister in an uncompleted building. His dad died in that building, his sister got pregnant for some riffraff and they started what we call "abuja marriage", his mom subsequently fell sick and died in the same uncompleted building. Then the owner of the building decided to complete it, and drove him away.

Now, this guy was able to get another uncompleted building to stay, and as I'm typing this, he's with wife and kids. This is a person that don't have food at home and can not afford N150 to and fro.

I gave him 10k but I was so mad with him; I mean, I was disconcertingly appalled that this guy will think of marriage in his privation. Why not be a little bit comfortable before considering marriage, instead to face life with the dignity of a breadline.

Sadly, this is the same mistake lot of guy's have been making thinking they'll fall into some stupendous money as soon as they marry, and this is mostly perpetuated by religious charlatans who say; a man's destiny is predicated on his future wife, that as soon as he gets married, the special blessing tied to marriage will start opening way for him.

That's a mendacious twaddle that will leave you in a precarious situation. Please guys, have 'comfort' afoot before you dabble into marriage.

What's your take on this?

[/quote]

TheManOfTheYear:
I guess it's more of a gender war thing.

To me, marriage should also be a form of investment, you shouldn't be a millionaire and marry an unemployed person, doesn't make sense, you'd end up spending and footing everything in the name of marriage.

This 21st century, things are a bit different now. People even get married as a form of investment. Let's stay woke.

Lol. I have said this many times and I got seriously attacked. People just can’t be realistic. Nlders are such an emotional and subjective bunch.

kestolove95:
Don't blame them, they wia brainwashed by the lies in the Bible dat says "he who find a wife has found a good thing and obtain favour from the Lord" that is the favour his obtaining from d Lord now..

Ha, i think say you don marry and dey fuvk everyday for 12 months.

In as much as I support some of your points, you should be mindful of the fact that in this part of the world, there are no provisions for the aged by the government. They do not pay ordinary pension talk more of making provisions.

As you are enjoying your youthful age, also be thinking of your life when you get old. In Nigeria, it is solely your own children that can take care of you at your old age.

In Nigeria, family seems to be the only thing that is a bit constant. One can be rich today and poor tomorrow and vice versa. So, don't rely solely on being rich before having your own family. If you are up to 30- 40 and have a source of income, whether you have billions or not, try and have your own family.

Children grow very fast nowadays. If you marry now, in the next 16 - 25 years your children will be independent and even be helping you. Don't wait till your retirement before getting married. A stitch in time saves nine!

Nezero:




This is fantastic

True, but it seems counterintuitive to me how someone can be so good with words and continue to make simple grammatical errors like using "have" instead of "has".

.

TOPCRUISE:

Nonsense. Were your grand parents paying tithe. And who told you that the tithe of your parents will make you rich. Don't vomit your rubbish into this thread please.

if u took what i said in the literal sense which i know u did, then i pity u. Ur sense of humor is outdated. U certainly do not understand figurative expressions. Only cursed people respond the way u did. Only people without a functional brain and mind can say what u said.

Sir/ma/animal/robot u need some sense

Bless you, OP, for that kind gesture. May you never lack.

Meanwhile, stay away from marriage. Marriage and religion are the greatest scams since Adam and Eve.

Commitment